Can we talk about this show:

[jojoandleo]

My Husband's not gay

Like...what?  I will not be watching this.  Intellectuals will understand that these men are just denying their sexual desires for religious reasons, but a lot of religious people will see this as gay couples CHOOSING to pursue homosexual relationships.  Like once again being gay is a choice.  I do not understand why this channel is called The LEARNING Channel.  How do you feel about it?  The opposite?  Like it's showing even if you choose to marry a woman, you cannot choose whether you are attracted to the same sex?

Any other feelings you wish to share?

[seabitch]

I can not get the link to work.

[jojoandleo]

www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/12/20/my-husbands-not-gay_n_6359768.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000050

[jojoandleo]

Dec 22, 2014 12:03:49 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/12/20/my-husbands-not-gay_n_6359768.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000050

Try this seabitch

[seabitch]

The link worked, thanks jojoandleo. How can this be a show?

Do the producers do it for the shock value or do they really think this is something that people can learn from and be helped by?

[achase123]

One of the most horrifying things i ever heard MG say was that people either choose to be gay or they become that way because they've been molested. I just stared at him in disbelief.

[Wanderista]

I probably won't watch this because I don't watch much reality tv but The Learning Channel hasn't really been about learning in a while. It sounds messed up though.

[Deleted]

I'm missing something. Being gay may not be a choice but a gay man can choose not to have sex with men, no? Just because you chose to have sex with a woman doesn't mean you're not gay.

[kaneen]

Dec 22, 2014 13:01:31 GMT -5 achase123 said:

One of the most horrifying things i ever heard MG say was that people either choose to be gay or they become that way because they've been molested. I just stared at him in disbelief.

The same MG you were interested in?

[jojoandleo]

Dec 23, 2014 1:05:50 GMT -5 kaneen said:

Dec 22, 2014 13:01:31 GMT -5 achase123 said:

One of the most horrifying things i ever heard MG say was that people either choose to be gay or they become that way because they've been molested. I just stared at him in disbelief.

The same MG you were interested in?

Oh, it must be a day that ends in Y.

[becwheat]

MY grandparents were Mormons and this is exactly how they thought. My grandmother's flamboyantly gay hairstylist remained single for his whole life and she would use him as an example of how a gay man should live.

"Even if being gay is not a choice, engaging in homosexual activity is."

How someone chooses to live is their prerogative, but I am sure there are many in that community who are pressured into denying their sexuality. That I feel is the biggest issue. They shouldn't feel like loving another consenting adult is wrong.

On the other hand sexuality is not always cut and dry. Maybe some of these men are bi and have made a life with a female?? IDK, I will not be watching anyway.

[jojoandleo]

Dec 23, 2014 10:02:29 GMT -5 becwheat said:

MY grandparents were Mormons and this is exactly how they thought. My grandmother's flamboyantly gay hairstylist remained single for his whole life and she would use him as an example of how a gay man should live.

"Even if being gay is not a choice, engaging in homosexual activity is."

How someone chooses to live is their prerogative, but I am sure there are many in that community who are pressured into denying their sexuality. That I feel is the biggest issue. They shouldn't feel like loving another consenting adult is wrong.

On the other hand sexuality is not always cut and dry. Maybe some of these men are bi and have made a life with a female?? IDK, I will not be watching anyway.

I completely agree with this. Everything you have said has been my back and forth. I feel people who already don't judge will be smart enough to see all this, but people already judging will use this as evidence that you can CHOOSE to be with a woman, no matter your orientation. Which, even if you CAN, doesn't mean you SHOULD, or that ANYONE should be able to tell you what's right. Overall, TLC has really turned me off lately.  They have the 19 kids show and this one and I can't tell if they are mocking or encouraging fundamentalist Christianity, but either way, I feel squicky.

[achase123]

Dec 23, 2014 1:05:50 GMT -5 kaneen said:

Dec 22, 2014 13:01:31 GMT -5 achase123 said:

One of the most horrifying things i ever heard MG say was that people either choose to be gay or they become that way because they've been molested. I just stared at him in disbelief.

The same MG you were interested in?

Yup. Nail in the coffin. But he actually came out with that after we were split.

[achase123]

Dec 23, 2014 9:17:26 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Dec 23, 2014 1:05:50 GMT -5 kaneen said:

The same MG you were interested in?

Oh, it must be a day that ends in Y.

What does that mean?

[jojoandleo]

Dec 23, 2014 10:56:04 GMT -5 achase123 said:

Dec 23, 2014 9:17:26 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Oh, it must be a day that ends in Y.

What does that mean?

Oh, I assumed she came over from TiP specifically to be nasty to you, which seems to be the thing for the SO defectors lately.  They never come over with anything of substance or to add their own stories (there are people who post on both, not talking about them), only to make a nasty comment to you.  I could be off, but it seems to be a pattern.  LOL.

[becwheat]

Dec 23, 2014 10:38:06 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Dec 23, 2014 10:02:29 GMT -5 becwheat said:

On the other hand sexuality is not always cut and dry. Maybe some of these men are bi and have made a life with a female?? IDK, I will not be watching anyway.

I completely agree with this. Everything you have said has been my back and forth. I feel people who already don't judge will be smart enough to see all this, but people already judging will use this as evidence that you can CHOOSE to be with a woman, no matter your orientation. Which, even if you CAN, doesn't mean you SHOULD, or that ANYONE should be able to tell you what's right. Overall, TLC has really turned me off lately.  They have the 19 kids show and this one and I can't tell if they are mocking or encouraging fundamentalist Christianity, but either way, I feel squicky.

Exactly, the harm is how the ignorant and/or close minded will interpret this show. They will be like "Look it is a choice!!" or "Look how happy they are with a woman!"
Ugh...

[achase123]

Dec 23, 2014 11:03:38 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Dec 23, 2014 10:56:04 GMT -5 achase123 said:

What does that mean?

Oh, I assumed she came over from TiP specifically to be nasty to you, which seems to be the thing for the SO defectors lately.  They never come over with anything of substance or to add their own stories (there are people who post on both, not talking about them), only to make a nasty comment to you.  I could be off, but it seems to be a pattern.  LOL.

Oh gotcha. Well really it was a legit question. Like "he said that and yet you were interested in him still???"

I thought very differently of him after I heard that view. He grew up very sheltered and religious but was extremely opinionated on that topic. I truly didn't know that people still thought that way anymore.

[jojoandleo]

Dec 23, 2014 11:09:55 GMT -5 achase123 said:

Dec 23, 2014 11:03:38 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Oh, I assumed she came over from TiP specifically to be nasty to you, which seems to be the thing for the SO defectors lately.  They never come over with anything of substance or to add their own stories (there are people who post on both, not talking about them), only to make a nasty comment to you.  I could be off, but it seems to be a pattern.  LOL.

Oh gotcha. Well really it was a legit question. Like "he said that and yet you were interested in him still???"

I thought very differently of him after I heard that view. He grew up very sheltered and religious but was extremely opinionated on that topic. I truly didn't know that people still thought that way anymore.

Probably. I just haven't seen her post here in forever until that. It made me side eye. Plus, I am the board police, gotta keep my title.

Unfortunately, I live in Oklahoma. It is a lot more common around here. I get a lot of people saying, "love the sinner, hate the sin." Like...what? A-No where in the ten commandments does it say "thou shalt not stick a dick in your butt." I mean, I am not 100% positive, but pretty sure. B-What about the sin you are doing by judging them? HUH! C-fuck you. I can't argue through my anger. LOL. The "hate the sin" people really don't think they ARE judging or doing anything harmful, but viewing a person loving another person as a SIN, is harmful.

Most of my friends are gay, so I kind of live in a bubble of LGBT friendliness. Though, one day at work I mentioned something about most of my friends being gay (it was a discussion about friends having kids) and one guy was like, "What? Why do you think that is?  Did something happen to you as a kid?" *blink blink* Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa?

[kaneen]

Dec 23, 2014 10:47:35 GMT -5 achase123 said:

Dec 23, 2014 1:05:50 GMT -5 kaneen said:

The same MG you were interested in?

Yup. Nail in the coffin. But he actually came out with that after we were split.

What a gem!  I bet it's now extra nice to know you dodged that bullet!

[kaneen]

Dec 23, 2014 11:03:38 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Dec 23, 2014 10:56:04 GMT -5 achase123 said:

What does that mean?

Oh, I assumed she came over from TiP specifically to be nasty to you, which seems to be the thing for the SO defectors lately.  They never come over with anything of substance or to add their own stories (there are people who post on both, not talking about them), only to make a nasty comment to you.  I could be off, but it seems to be a pattern.  LOL.

Nope.  Achase and I are actually friendly off board.  I asked the question because I was curious.

[achase123]

Dec 23, 2014 11:57:49 GMT -5 kaneen said:

Dec 23, 2014 10:47:35 GMT -5 achase123 said:

Yup. Nail in the coffin. But he actually came out with that after we were split.

What a gem!  I bet it's now extra nice to know you dodged that bullet!

Yes! I'm really open minded and it made me realize how little I knew about him when he made that comment.

[kaneen]

Dec 23, 2014 11:20:25 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Dec 23, 2014 11:09:55 GMT -5 achase123 said:

Oh gotcha. Well really it was a legit question. Like "he said that and yet you were interested in him still???"

I thought very differently of him after I heard that view. He grew up very sheltered and religious but was extremely opinionated on that topic. I truly didn't know that people still thought that way anymore.

Probably. I just haven't seen her post here in forever until that. It made me side eye. Plus, I am the board police, gotta keep my title.

Unfortunately, I live in Oklahoma. It is a lot more common around here. I get a lot of people saying, "love the sinner, hate the sin." Like...what? A-No where in the ten commandments does it say "thou shalt not stick a dick in your butt." I mean, I am not 100% positive, but pretty sure. B-What about the sin you are doing by judging them? HUH! C-fuck you. I can't argue through my anger. LOL. The "hate the sin" people really don't think they ARE judging or doing anything harmful, but viewing a person loving another person as a SIN, is harmful.

Most of my friends are gay, so I kind of live in a bubble of LGBT friendliness. Though, one day at work I mentioned something about most of my friends being gay (it was a discussion about friends having kids) and one guy was like, "What? Why do you think that is?  Did something happen to you as a kid?" *blink blink* Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa?

I don't post all that much anywhere.  I probably post more on TIP but that's only because there are more people that I am friendly with in real life.  Achcase happens to be someone I'm friendly with off board so there are times I post on her stuff more so than other stuff.

[jojoandleo]

Dec 23, 2014 12:04:46 GMT -5 kaneen said:

Dec 23, 2014 11:20:25 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Probably. I just haven't seen her post here in forever until that. It made me side eye. Plus, I am the board police, gotta keep my title.

Unfortunately, I live in Oklahoma. It is a lot more common around here. I get a lot of people saying, "love the sinner, hate the sin." Like...what? A-No where in the ten commandments does it say "thou shalt not stick a dick in your butt." I mean, I am not 100% positive, but pretty sure. B-What about the sin you are doing by judging them? HUH! C-fuck you. I can't argue through my anger. LOL. The "hate the sin" people really don't think they ARE judging or doing anything harmful, but viewing a person loving another person as a SIN, is harmful.

Most of my friends are gay, so I kind of live in a bubble of LGBT friendliness. Though, one day at work I mentioned something about most of my friends being gay (it was a discussion about friends having kids) and one guy was like, "What? Why do you think that is?  Did something happen to you as a kid?" *blink blink* Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa?

I don't post all that much anywhere.  I probably post more on TIP but that's only because there are more people that I am friendly with in real life.  Achcase happens to be someone I'm friendly with off board so there are times I post on her stuff more so than other stuff.

Sorry for the assumption. I get too defensive sometimes over people I like. I am sorry.

[kaneen]

Dec 23, 2014 12:16:59 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Dec 23, 2014 12:04:46 GMT -5 kaneen said:

I don't post all that much anywhere.  I probably post more on TIP but that's only because there are more people that I am friendly with in real life.  Achcase happens to be someone I'm friendly with off board so there are times I post on her stuff more so than other stuff.

Sorry for the assumption. I get too defensive sometimes over people I like. I am sorry.

No worries.  It's all good.  I can see why you would have made the assumption you made.

[btay]

I want to watch it to see how they address it before I decide how I feel.

[Deleted]

I've been trying to figure out how to feel about this show. Being from liberal land it was my first assumption the purpose of the show was to uncover how miserable and ridiculous it is for these men to live a lie. Thus demonstrating the oppression they felt. I also figured a few of them must "stray" and experience horrible consequences uncover more hate.

Then I remembered this is TLC and not a thoughtful documentary. I mean it's not like it's True Life . But honestly I will probably watch it at least once. If for no other reason than to have a good defends prepared to any lies that are getting spread around.