Working moms of 2+ kids

[shortstax]

When you had your subsequent children, did you still send your oldest kid(s) to daycare?

We confirmed that we can't drop DS down to pt care while I'm on maternity leave (which I think is typical) since they still need to hold a FT spot for him when I return to work.  So, I figured I would send him to daycare M/W/F to keep some sort of his life normal while I'm at home with the baby (since we're paying for it anyways.)

DH thinks this is weird and I should "embrace the opportunity to be home with both."  Well, ya, I will on tuesdays and thursdays, lol.

[ijack]

Hells to the yeah

[ryry]

We kept dd1's schedule exactly the same. I really wanted to have the time with dd2, and it didn't seem fair to dd1 to be stuck in the house with me while I spent hours nursing. We dropped her off later than usual and picked her up earlier, but she still went 5 days/week.

I'm pretty sure we're going to have to keep dd2 home after #3 is born and I'm a little scared.

[dcrunnergirl52]

YES! I sent my older two kids to full-time daycare, M-F for 9 hours/day when I was home with my DS2. Do it! It makes the time at home with the baby so much more enjoyable. My maternity leave with DS2 felt like a vacation and I loved the time that I got with him. It was so special, especially since my first maternity leave was such a chaotic mess of trying to figure out being a mom, how to care for babies, PPD, crying (all of us), spit up, etc.

[ECB]

Only have 1, but really... send your child. will your DH be home to help you out? No? Well then... he needs to be quiet! You'll have a NEWBORN. Of nothing else, I remember very clearly how hard the first few weeks were. I could not have done it if I also had to entertain another child too.

Having one on one time w/ the baby is nice. And if you're someone who can sleep when the baby sleeps - you'll need some of that time.

AND I think your DS will benefit from having some normalcy in his life. His life is about to be turned upside down. I TRULY believe that going to daycare will be a good, stabilizing thing for your son.

[mrshandy]

We sent DS every day and it was great! I had zero interest in keeping him home. I didn't want him to lose his spot either.

[mswax]

Yep Yep Yep!

[jeaniebueller]

Yes, I still sent DS to daycare 3 days a week when I was on maternity leave. He would have gone stir crazy had I not, since all I wanted to do for about the first 6 weeks was veg out and nap with the baby.

[Brie]

C is staying in FT daycare while I'm on maternity leave. I have no interest in staying home with a toddler AND a newborn if I don't have to. That sounds terrible to me, LOL. He is a bundle of energy and I cannot imagine chasing him around with a constantly-nursing baby in tow all day.

[runblondie26]

Yes +1,000

[h]

Yes, I sent them every day, but picked them up a lot earlier than usual (like 3 or 3:30 instead of 5:30). DH drop DS1 (or later DS1 and DS2) off on his way to work. I would laze about with the baby in the morning, then try to get a few things done around the house or run errands, then pick up the older kid(s) in the afternoon and try to plan a fun activity to do with them (a trip to the library, stopping for frozen yogurt, going to the park, etc.) so they didn't feel left out.

[shortstax]

Ok, thanks ladies. I'm sooooooooo showing DH this thread tonight, lol.

[rootbeerfloat]

I'm in the minority in that I did not, and I wouldn't recommend it, lol.

[shortstax]

Jan 14, 2015 13:46:25 GMT -5 h said:

Yes, I sent them every day, but picked them up a lot earlier than usual (like 3 or 3:30 instead of 5:30). DH drop DS1 (or later DS1 and DS2) off on his way to work. I would laze about with the baby in the morning, then try to get a few things done around the house or run errands, then pick up the older kid(s) in the afternoon and try to plan a fun activity to do with them (a trip to the library, stopping for frozen yogurt, going to the park, etc.) so they didn't feel left out.

Ooooh, I like this battleplan.

[vmars]

I agree with you. 3 days sounds perfect. Will they let you do 5 days but say mornings or afternoons only? I think I would prefer dc 5 days a week but shorter days.

[bbonanza]

YES!!

Both after having DD2 and DD3, I sent the older girls to daycare three times a week to hold their spot as well as keep some sort of routine, plus Mommy would've gone cuckoo with all three at home all.the.time.

Lol at "embracing" having all home.

[quickstepstar]

We kept the nanny.

[cjeanette]

Yes, you need the time and they need the time away

[h]

FWIW, I think five short days is easier on the older kid (and probably you) than three long ones. That way the older kid is never stuck at home all day with a fussy, nursing baby, and you have hopefully rested with the baby a bit in the morning and can be ready to play with the older one a little in the afternoon.

[starlily]

Hells yeah, almost 5 days a week the entire time I've been on leave.

[cilantro]

I'm keeping DS1 in full time care until we get breastfeeding established and I figure out how high needs DS2 is going to be. I'm definitely not keeping him home the whole time, bored with just me and a newborn all summer.

[smock]

I only have one, and I spent my maternity leave wondering how the hell parents with 2+ kids can care for a newborn, recover from pushing out a human, AND take care of an older kid. Until one day a lightbulb went off over my head: DAYCARE!

My plan is totally to keep DD in FT daycare when we have kid #2.

[rugbywife]

I will be at home with both because we can't afford to send one to daycare when off on leave.

[smock]

Jan 14, 2015 13:39:37 GMT -5 shortstax said:

DH thinks this is weird and I should "embrace the opportunity to be home with both."  Well, ya, I will on tuesdays and thursdays, lol.

Tell him you want to "embrace the opportunity to bond one-on-one with the newborn." Throw in something about how poor second children don't get the full attention of parents like first children do. I bet he'll buy it.

[Deleted]

My older kids went two days (of the normal 4) a week. I needed to sleep and such the other 2 days.

I did love being home with both though, but I still needed a
Break!

[undecidedowl]

Yes, it is one of the best pieces of advice I have gotten from MMM. In addition to what everyone has said, it has really been in DS1's best interest to keep him going. It would be a huge transition to gain a sibling and start staying home all the time (he is very extroverted) just to turn around and go back to daycare weeks later. It has also really helped with DS1's jealousy to get some time away from the baby.

[turtlegirl]

Well, my mom and MIL watch my kids and I only work part-time. But yes, when I was home with DS2 they still came and kept up their normal routine with DS1. And DS1 was still napping, so when we would nap in the afternoon they would usually take the newborn so I could catch a nap too.

On days that I was home alone with both of them DS1 got a lot of screen time. We watched hours of TV everyday so I could nurse and nap with the baby on the couch, lol.

[savan]

Yes, every day. It was so nice to have those 12 weeks to focus on DD and her needs.

[InBetweenDays]

Yep, we would have lost our spot if we pulled her. I occasionally kept her home with us, but most of the time she went to daycare as normal.

[Deleted]

I sent J from March until the end of June. Then I was on my own with all 3 from the beginning of July until mid July when H started his sabbatical. Then we were all off together until September when we both went back to work.

I would send him. I didn't need to send him to maintain his spot since my mom became our nanny, but I needed to send him because it was best for him. It was all survival for me those first few months and J was much better off at daycare than he would have been at home while I nursed, pumped, and put babies to sleep on a constant basis. NoT to mention the colicky screaming! It was absolutely best for him to maintain his normal routine and go do fun things all day. Being home with me would not have been fun.