I don't know how much longer..UPDATE in replies

[fayeelle]

I'm on the verge of a break down right now. I know part of it is being like, ridiculously pregnant and all. But my docs SUCK at communication in nearly all forms and I'm about to lose it.
I have been seeing both my Ob and MFM. Unfortunately they are in different groups because of my insurance. I spend every ob appt repeating nearly every detail from the beginning. Apparently its super hard to read a linked medical record. But thats just a part of it.

Thurs I was at MFM for my NST/BPP (d/t low-normal fluid and my gigantor baby). They have been monitoring me forever now and my AFI's had looked damn good for a month. Last week it dipped to 7 but they weren't worried. Growth scan that day was pretty good too and all discussion of taking her early stopped there which was great.

This week my AFI averaged at 5 which was where my semi-reg doc said she would be concerned. MFM came in like her hair was on fire saying I needed to get to the hospital now, we were having a baby whether we were ready or not. She called my hosp. to inform the on call. I call DH so we can figure out childcare for SS's, he nearly pukes. The MFM comes back in; the ob I saw earlier that day wants me to go home and push fluids and check an AFI on Fri.

Okay....everyone calms down, we head home. I get to the hosp. yesterday for the AFI check and I'm not scheduled somehow so I get sent from radiology to the birth center and then back down. We do all the tests- fluid is back up over 6 and baby is phenomenal on the monitor. They inform the on call (diff. than Thurs's ob but a semi-reg for me). He says everything is great, go home until Tues and we'll check an AFI then.

So last night I get a message from the same on call that sent me home. The more he thinks about it the more he thinks its reasonable to induce. I'm sitting right on the line where he's not completely comfortable with waiting but feels it could be fine as well. He wants me to go back down to the hospital to have the on call that day (same doc that sent me home Thurs) do a cervical check and decide what to do from there. If my cervix us closed I'll be sent home but if I'm dilated/effaced I may stay. Or he could still send us home. So now I'm here waiting for a room

I totally get pregnancy and labor have no guarantee and sometimes shit hits the fan. I just don't understand why this seems so damn complicated. Why not check my cervix yesterday to get all your info? Especially before making a decision to send me home only to have me come back? And why can't anyone review my medical record?!?!?! Its not really difficult. I do that everyday at my job. It takes 17 seconds to open a link and read. And how about not talking to me in an accusatory tone because you haven't read the extensive tests that have been done and think I'm neglecting this baby?

I'm just so over it. I'm emotionally done. It doesn't seem like this should be as complicated as it has been. DH is a stressed out mess as well as starting a man cold so I'm trying to deal with that as well.

My mom keeps asking me when to fly in.....and I don't know since I can't predict things either. She is my grandma's caretaker now and with my grandma not doing well for the past month she has limited time to fly in. She wants to be here when the baby is born and also a bit after but can only stay a week. She wants me to decide when she should fly in. But I don't know!!!!!!

Ok, rant over for now. They are getting me a room ready now. We'll see how this goes.

[christy082]

Oh good grief, how frustrating for you! I would want to kill someone if I were in your shoes. Good luck today. ((Hugs))

[sparkythelawyer]

That's annoying as fuck. How far along are you?

[spankswife]

Oh man, I'm sorry!

[Deleted]

My goodness you are are getting the run around!

How far along are you? At a certain point, be your own advocate. IMO, if I were 36+ weeks, I'd be pushing for induction ASAP. It's not worth all this stress and baby is fine.

ETA: You're due in a week. In your shoes, I'd be a loud, obnoxious, vocal advocate for induction at this point. If there's concerns of the baby's health, why extend the pregnancy? 39 weeks is full term.

[Deleted]

Jan 24, 2015 14:55:25 GMT -5 namasteak said:

Jan 24, 2015 14:48:45 GMT -5 @sessalee said:

My goodness you are are getting the run around!

How far along are you? At a certain point, be your own advocate. IMO, if I were 36+ weeks, I'd be pushing for induction ASAP. It's not worth all this stress and baby is fine.

ETA: You're due in a week. In your shoes, I'd be a loud, obnoxious, vocal advocate for induction at this point. If there's concerns of the baby's health, why extend the pregnancy? 39 weeks is full term.

Oh you're 39 weeks? I would request an induction in your situation.

According to the due date list, she's due 2/1. So yeah, it's time to be your own voice and own advocate. There's no danger in having the baby now, and it sounds like more risk in staying pregnant. 

I reserve the right to be very mildly jealous of anyone due after me but having their baby before me.

[starburst]

That sounds so frustrating. I'm sorry.

[fayeelle]

Thanks for all the hugs and thoughts everyone. This is a hot mess. Glad to know I'm not making more of this than I should. And yes, I'm 39 wks tomorrow.

So....yeah, I'm at home. Again. When we got to the room the nurse said the doc would be in to do the ultrasound. Ummmm....excuse me? I came in to have my cervix checked. WTF?! Apparently the on call wants to do an ultrasound himself. Uggggggh. 3 ultrasounds in 3 days.

So he checks fluid. Says its 11. I know it can fluctuate but by 5.5 in 18hrs? My AFI hasn't been that high since 22wks maybe. I call bullshit. All other ultrasounds on much better equipment appear to show fluid but after changing a setting (lots of colors, I'm guessing bloodflow/placenta/cord?) the pockets aren't in all quadrants like it seemed usually resulting in 1 large pocket on my upper R side where her feet are. I see these every.single.week. Its always the same and thats exactly what happened yesterday. Today there is magically more and what I saw before doesn't matter? I still think he is wrong but the larger pocket measured 6.6 which I saw myself so I'm comfortable that its steady and NST's have been textbook according to 2 different offices. I don't feel like she is in distress at all and movements are regular which makes me feel better.

He wanted to send me home without checking my cervix again. I tell him I'm tired of wasting all this time and resources and for my sanity need the plan more streamlined. He finally agrees- totally closed. Figured as much. So we agree that I come back on Tues for another NST/AFI and decide from there. If I'm at a 2 or 3 (fluid) then he wants to try induction regardless of my cervix (3 other docs agree induction likely won't be successful unless my bishop score is 9 or greater). This doc says we'll try and if they aren't successful after 24hrs I'll go home.

WTMF?! If my child is at risk why in the hell are we even considering fucking around for a day or more. If my body isn't ready and fluid is low then take me in for a c-section FFS.

I have decided I don't like or trust this doc. At all. I have 2 others at the group who are not panicked, but on the concerned side of things as well as the MFM specialist. The ob I saw today is basically acting like they are all up in arms over nothing. His opinion on nearly everything is completely opposite of everyone else. Where MFM/both other OBs consider an AFI of 8 or greater normal he says its really 5 or greater. He says my placenta is barely functioning where the other 3 have said its in overdrive based on how well this baby is thriving and growing in utero. He wants to induce and potentially send me home after a day if unsuccessful where the other 3 agree that will make recovery 10x harder because that will increase my chance of c-section 7 fold. So basically he thinks he's a prodigy and his peers as well as the specialists are fools.

I know for sure he won't be there on Tues so thats good. While totally miserable I'm fine on only having her when necessary as long as she's healthy and all. If Tues looks good and I go home again to wait until I go into labor and I do on my own I'm considering calling ahead. If he's the on call I'm very seriously considering going to a different hospital to avoid dealing with him. My SIL used the same Ob group for her pregnancy and met this guy once and also didn't like him so it sounds like its who he is.

I'm also on the fence about continuing to work. I had to call out both yesterday and today for all this and I'm soooo stressed. I don't have a position where I can just not come in as we need a certain amount of staff to support our dvms so I feel like I am constantly letting them down. But since none of my leave is paid we need every penny we can get right now plus we have 3 new hires in training next week so it would be better if I was there. But then if this goes all sideways again on Tues they have to go for a new game plan mid week which is harder to do then than now.

I hate all this stress. I know it can't be good for me or this little girl.

[kams]

Oh man, huge hugs. This is a ton to be dealing with.

[achi]

Goodness that is a lot of unnecessary stress for you. I'm sorry you've had to deal with this.

[dearprudence]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. All the ups and downs during this time of the pregnancy sounds ridiculously frustrating. Especially when it's about the health of your daughter.

[sparkythelawyer]

Honestly I'd start doing all of those old wives tales to start labor. Enough is enough

[nmosrob]

How stressful, I'm so sorry. Big hugs.

[fayeelle]

Jan 24, 2015 17:15:14 GMT -5 namasteak said:

Unfortunately if you are totally closed you aren't a good candidate for a successful induction. If that is still the case on Tuesday how do you feel about a planned csection?

Will he be there tomorrow or Monday? Maybe you could see a different doctor to get a second opinion?

I agree about an unsuccessful induction. I specifically told him that I am in no way comfortable inducing "regardless of my cervix" because I find it pointless and more risky to myself as well as the baby. The look on his face when I said that showed he thinks I'm an idiot. He said he would be sure to make clear notes on our discussion today so that they know what I would prefer.

On Tues if my AFI is low again and my bishop is less than 9 I'm 100% on board for a C-section. That's another reason I'm considering telling work to take me off the schedule. If I move my appointment to the morning (right now its scheduled for 6pm since I'm working) hopefully they can just do it that day. Otherwise I'll just do what they say.

I didn't ask when/how long he would be there. I'm content with the one larger pocket being a 6.6 and rechecking on Tuesday. And I honestly don't think I can handle another doctor visit. I went to MFM on Thurs AM where I found that my appointment info was wrong (both myself and the receptionist weren't on the same page). Then went to my Ob for a regular prenatal visit where I met this crazy pants doc for the first time. Then I went back to MFM that afternoon since they were able to squeeze me in. On Friday went to the hospital where that scheduling was a nightmare as well and I got shuffled around only to be sent home and called 4hrs later to come back the next day. And then today showed up with a completely different plan than what the other doc discussed with me. I'm all doctored out right now honestly.

[jennistarr1]

in general, how hard is it for your mom to get a flight in...could she fly to you in a few hours or is it more of an ordeal?

[nextbigthing]

I would get your mom in asap and get the induction adap.

I'm sorry this has gone so badly, lots of hugs and thoughts!

[fayeelle]

Jan 24, 2015 18:42:36 GMT -5 jennistarr1 said:

in general, how hard is it for your mom to get a flight in...could she fly to you in a few hours or is it more of an ordeal?

Much more of an ordeal. She's 3k miles away so usually takes a full day to travel.

[Monica Geller]

((HUGS)) You have every right to be stressed. That doctor doesn't sound like he's making things any easier for you. I like your plan; wait til Tues, re-evaluate & then schedule a c-section. I don't think I wouldn't even mess around with an induction.

[yourmother]

I'm so sorry you're dealing with all of this stress. Sending hugs and good vibes.

[jennistarr1]

Jan 24, 2015 18:49:11 GMT -5 fayeelle said:

Jan 24, 2015 18:42:36 GMT -5 jennistarr1 said:

in general, how hard is it for your mom to get a flight in...could she fly to you in a few hours or is it more of an ordeal?

Much more of an ordeal. She's 3k miles away so usually takes a full day to travel.

Darn, I guess it's that much harder for her to get back to grandmom too. I guess she should look into coming pretty soon.

[aprilsails]

I don't know what to say other than ouch - I'm sorry you are getting the runaround from so many different doctors and the uncertainty would be so difficult to handle.

It sounds as though you have a better plan moving forward this week. I wish you the best of luck and I hope everything goes much more smoothly moving forward.

[Poppy]

Wow, how frustrating. I'm glad you're asking for better continuity of care - you deserve that.

I always felt that the fluid checks were imprecise. That's totally my own intuition and not based on science, but it seemed like the measurements could vary quite a bit based on the angle of observation and baby's position and movement. It's frustrating since that measurement is what they're basing your treatment plan on, but I think it's good that they check it often so that you get a feel for the typical finding.

I'm sorry you're having a hard time planning for work and for your mom's visit, but that's kind of the nature of childbirth. Very few people can know precisely when they'll deliver. I know it's hard, but try not to stress over that. It is what it is, and everything will work out in the end. When you're holding your baby, that worry will seem like a blip on the radar.

[fayeelle]

Thanks again everyone. I'm just going to continue taking things one day at a time. I know I have a plan going forward, don't know about the docs though especially since they are so all over the place.
Today is a good day not having an appointment to get to. However, everyone in my house started with the stomach flu last night so that was awesome.

Poppy I'm really trying not to stress about the work/mom thing and I know that part is always uncertain. Its just hard. Work has been much easier to deal with and for that I am thankful. Its really just the finances I worry about.
My mom is already stressed with everything involving her mom so its kinda boiling over to me. Which I get. Which still sucks. She wants me to decide where she should be for her and I just can't do that. And well, its impossible to know when this baby will be here.
When all this is said and done it will have all worked out regardless.

[sparkythelawyer]

Hey, just checking in to say hope things are going well!