I should be happy.

[Deleted]

One of my best friends from high school passed away from brain cancer in July. I haven't talked about it here, but I have struggled. Her husband put on FB in December that he is engaged.

I know that they probably talked about this and he is at peace with it, but it seems so soon. I should be happy because I know that she is probably happy for him but it seems so soon. And I just feel like it means she really isn't here.

[lilac05]

I'm sorry. You're probably right that they discussed it and he had your friend's blessing, but I can absolutely see how his engagement reminds you of the finality of your loss and makes you feel a wide range of emotions.

[frannyr]

I am sorry about your friend. I agree, it probably is too soon but hard to know without walking in his shoes.

Another perspective...I had a friend who became a widow at 25 (motorcycle accident). She was with her DH for years but met someone a few months after his death. They moved in quickly and her in-laws (and some friends) were really upset about it. She was torn up about that too and just wished everyone would respect her decision as her year had been hard enough.

[WOT?*]

(((@nailbiter101))) I hope today is a good day for you.

I understand where you're coming from Sally. I would honestly have felt the same way a number of years ago, before I started losing ones that I loved.  But while it's not the same situation, I learned some things with divorce as well.

Your friend's H has been dealing with the likelihood of his wife's terminal illness for a long time and his grieving started well before she died. While I don't think he's had a chance to fully process where his life is at now, he's been living with the specter of death for a long time and wants to have a chance at life again.  I am sure his new fiancée makes him feel alive and loved and not alone anymore.

Please feel happy for him.  I am sorry for your loss, and you are still grieving the loss of your friend which makes his moving forward that much more difficult.  His loss was that much greater and he deserves a chance at happiness, even if it doesn't work out for him.

[sequins]

I don't think this is judge worthy. No one can put a deadline on grief or how people cope with it.

Having said that, I think Sally, this has made your friend's passing even more final in your head I'm so sorry you are going through this.

[eb777888]

I would feel the same way, Sally. It would be hard not to.