So, tell me to calm the f down.

[speckledfrog]

Anything short of actually killing him seems well within reason.

[riffraff]

In sorry your h is being a stubborn jerk

Is it too late to wash/scrape off the finish he put on?

[W.T.Faulkner]

I am not going to tell you to calm the f down because you shouldn't.

[pantsparty]

I would be livid. Sorry, scotty.

[CajunShrimp]

I would be hunting for a baseball bat at this point.

[bonquiqui]

#teamscotty

[speckledfrog]

On the helping you calm down front...it's already done. Getting mad about how it should have gone down is an exercise in futility and will only serve to make you mad. Focusing on his stupidity and bullheadedness will drive you crazy. Feel smug that you are smart and he is dumb. Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth. Do not run him over with the car or beat him over the head with the bottle of finish.

[Eagles]

Scotty, you are so incredibly justified in your rage. I'm fuming on your behalf.

[Eagles]

But if there's nothing to be done, try to breathe and watch adorable animal videos on YouTube.

[Eagles]

And I'm really sorry your H is being an assbag.

[honeychai]

Oh that sounds super frustrating.
And anytime sleep deprivation and dog poop are involved shit gets deep real quick

[speckledfrog]

Jan 25, 2015 19:17:42 GMT -5 @scottydeux said:

Jan 25, 2015 19:15:44 GMT -5 speckledfrog said:

On the helping you calm down front...it's already done. Getting mad about how it should have gone down is an exercise in futility and will only serve to make you mad. Focusing on his stupidity and bullheadedness will drive you crazy. Feel smug that you are smart and he is dumb. Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth. Do not run him over with the car or beat him over the head with the bottle of finish.

Okay.  I know this is a FWP, but it's money down the drain that he will blame me for.

I don't think it's a FWP at all.  I totally get it and support you in your feelings.  What he did sucks, why he did it sucks, and the fact that it's going to cause issues beyond today totally sucks.

[Deleted]

Ugh, I'd be livid too. I really hope the fix is cheaper than you fear it might be.

[marylennox]

The blaming you and refusing to see your (logical and practical) perspective would make me much more angry than the actual mistake he made in the first place. I'm sorry. This sounds infuriating.

[BunnyMacDougal]

Ooh.  Seethe on your behalf.   I hate when my H does shit like this.   "I googled and its the best we can do."   "Shrug, and shit."


Uh, what?   If the results look like shit and this is your attitude, you can go straight to hell!  I would be especially angry that the consequence will likely be expensive stone work (or looking at a hideously marred fire place that your H consciously "did").   

[paddywagon]

Just give him a good whack upside the head with a sock full of frozen oranges. His attitude about it would piss me off as well, so no blaming you there.

Right now, though, you should probably calm down about the stone (I know, easier said than done). What's done is done and hopefully it won't be too costly to repair/even need repairs. I hope your husband apologizes for being an ass about it.

[isabel]

I'm so confused as to how on earth he decided this was the proper fix for that problem. Like, whut!? I'm sorry, Scotty.

[cleo29]

Jan 25, 2015 19:36:54 GMT -5 @scottydeux said:

Jan 25, 2015 19:26:03 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

I'd be SO annoyed. And if he blamed me for the added cost of repairing it, I'd be beyond pissed. Does he usually avoid taking responsibility for stuff?

All the time.  It's one of our major issues.  I asked him once if, growing up, if he was berated/made to feel bad for making a mistake and that's why he won't take responsibility, and he said no.  I just think he doesn't like to be wrong.  I don't, either, but not to that degree.  I am careful not to yell and flip out straight out of the gate to avoid emotional shutdown.

What's driving me nuts is he is downstairs talking to our dog in a sing-song voice, and acting unnaturally chipper.  I just wish he'd own something.  Honestly, he never does.  We've made great strides overall, but our match is a little off.  I have to accept that, or leave.  I try so hard, but, today I am just... no.

I Can safely say I could not be married to someone who never accepted responsibility for their actions.  I don't know. You two have worked on this and it is not changing. He will not change. Maybe really think about whether you want this for good.

I'm sorry

[aussiecrush]

Not consulting you before a major decision and blaming you for a shitty outcome are worth some serious rage. Slamming things, whistling and acting like Suzy Sunshine with the dogs would have me throwing things. I'm sorry he's acting like a child.

[sparkythelawyer]

Let me get this straight. You have a fancy, needs professional care when shit goes wrong fireplace. Your husband, in theory, should know this. Something happens to said fancy fireplace while you are sleeping. His approach is to google it, a) resulting in leaving a bigger mess than when it started, and b)results in MORE expense to repair, but its your fault because....


.....


.....DOGS POOP?

Oh. Oh hell no. my blood would boil and fire would actually be coming out of my ears.

[killercupcake]

Jan 25, 2015 19:21:01 GMT -5 @scottydeux said:

Thanks for the poor poodles and commiseration. He is now whistling downstairs, a quirky thing that he does to prove that he doesn't care.

This alone, even if I wasn't already mad, would send me right over the border into rageville. I hate that kind of smug shit. 

Team you. 

[DotAndBuzz]

Jan 25, 2015 19:54:20 GMT -5 @meepmeep said:

If the ruining of the fireplace hadn't put me over the edge, the whistling sure as fuck would.

No joke.  It's like he's trying to rub it in that he's calm, and completely unbothered by the entire situation.  Like he's all:


That crap makes me rage.

Scotty, you mentioned resale.  are you thinking of listing your home any time soon?  Because this might be a good time for a realtor to walk through, and point out things to fix/address to help with selling.  Like, say, a completely fucked up fireplace stone arrangement.  That way it isn't your "fault" that you have to have it professionally fixed.  She could also suggest professional companies to do the work so it doesn't look DIY and sloppy.  Wouldn't want to turn off potential buyers with half-ass fixes!

A little passive aggressive, sure, but effective. 

[adhdfashion]

Punch him in the sack.

[whitemerlot]

Ugh. The whistling would make me more enraged. I think murder is the way to go here.

[Marle]

I'm sorry. I feel he is being all

Wait! Wrong url

[Marle]

youtu.be/KJNSWkgPr9g

Hmmm

[Muddled]

He should be thanking his lucky stars that he is hung like a horse.

I am so confused as to his logic on this one.

[olegregg]

Sorry he's being such a knob, scotty

[themoneytree]

The 'whatever' would have sent me over the edge. My H did that the other day and I wanted to kill him. I'm sorry. : (

[Deleted]

I am not really team him, but I guess I am more so than everyone else is because IMO after the dog shit on the fancy fireplace it was probably a $400 fix anyway. So I can see why he did it- it wasn't a smart move, but it was well intended and realistically it probably didn't increase the overall cost. And if you decide the dog's diet, and he doesn't agree with it (which I don't know) I get how he might want to share some of the blame back to you. Because he didn't start by playing the blame card, that was a reaction, and as someone who spends a lot of time and money fixing problems caused by dog waste . . .i understand the frustration over choosing the dog's food and the consequent effect on when and where they shit.