I hope that I complained enough through two pregnancies that no one would approach me. I'd have a hard time saying no, but I really disliked pregnancy.
Nope. I hated being pregnant. I also think that it would be too complicated. Would I get attached to the baby? What would it be like to see the child grow up? What if something happened during pregnancy or labour and delivery? I couldn't do it.
Before I had a baby my answer would have been of course for a friend or sister but now. Lol no. I am a terrible, miserable pregnant person. I'm not even sure I want to do it for myself despite wanting another baby some day.
Post by fortmyersbride on Jan 26, 2015 17:31:42 GMT -5
I would consider it for a close friend or family. If you'd asked me after my first or second pregnancy, I would have said no. But my third pregnancy was much easier so I'm more open to it now. However, I would need my DH and kids to be totally on board (as much as kids can be).
Post by dulcemariamar on Jan 26, 2015 17:31:50 GMT -5
I would not because I would become emotionally attached to the baby. Plus, pushing out a baby is the worst. I would want to keep the baby after pregnancy and labor.
depending on who asked, i'd seriously consider it.
we have a friend that was a surrogate for someone with whom she was only an acquaintance. she had offered to be a surrogate for a very close friend, but the friend was able to conceive on a hail mary IVF. the very close friend was part of a local IF support group and another couple there were at the point of looking for a surrogate. connections were made, friend agreed.
it was really sweet watching her journey. she has this awesome, selfless attitude all the time anyway, but the joy it brought her to help two other people become parents - amazing. she has three girls who were 6 and under at the time, the younger two made some pretty interesting comments... "Mom is having a baby, but we're giving it away!" (this was when very few people knew she was pregnant, let alone carrying as a surrogate) and "i'm going to have a baby brother, but he has to go live at a different house with different parents!" the two families have become incredibly close and the girls still think of him as their baby brother.
it's not how every surrogacy situation would play out, but it was been really neat to watch it first hand. it's definitely made me more open to the idea, too.
I don't think I would be a preferred candidate, but I've actually thought of it as I have good friends that really would have potentially wanted a surrogate. If had my own child quite a bit younger, I would really have considered it.
I'd be happy to just take over someone's body to push the baby out, though. That part was exciting.
This. I was so attached to DS while I was pregnant. I would be scared I wouldn't be able to give someone their baby.
Although the pushing the baby out part was the worst part of the whole pregnancy/ birth. Ugh I could like feel my vagina being turned inside out ( that was what it felt like)
just thinking about it makes me woozy TBH. I loved like 90 percent of pregnancy & childbirth otherwise.
I would definitely consider it for a very few close friends. I think I'd have difficulties with the emotional side more than the physical at this point.
Post by sillygoosegirl on Jan 26, 2015 17:50:45 GMT -5
For a good friend or family member, I would consider it. I hated being pregnant and giving birth was awful too, but I actually did have a really easy and healthy pregnancy and birth. I'm just kind of whiny. I'm sure people who have trouble getting pregnant go through way more pain than I did.
I also didn't feel any particular emotional attachment to my baby until several weeks past birth, so that part would not be a problem. Even if I was also providing some of the genetic material.
And I kind of did enjoy the being the center of attention thing.
I'd want to have really clear expectations with the parents though. Lots of people (not including my midwife) gave me crap for bike riding to the end of pregnancy, for example. They'd have to be okay with me doing pregnancy my way. And DH would have to be 100% on board too. Pregnancy made me very tired, lazy, and cranky, and that meant a lot of things I normally do had to get pushed off on him.
I am the same as you. If I wasn't high risk and was younger I would absolutely consider it. I kinda wish I'd known about egg donation in my younger years too - I would have strongly considered that as well.
Post by teatimefor2 on Jan 26, 2015 18:07:40 GMT -5
Yes, I would consider this, especially for a friend who desperately wants a child and has not been successful. I think it is possibility the best gift I could give them.
That said I've also enjoyed pregnancy and my last labor was awesome.
Never. Being pregnant was a true hardship for me both times. I apparently have a very sensitive cervix prone to bleeding, which meant lots of ultrasounds, and cervical rest for almost my entire pregnancy both times.
DH and I are very close with his best friend and girlfriend. They will get married one day but are in their 40s and don't plan on kids. But if they changed their mind and needed a surrogate I would do it.
Yes, for my brother. He is gay, and I know he would love to have kids some day. Right now he is single and not thinking about anything in the near future, but if he were interested in having a biological child of his or his partner's own, I would do it in a heartbeat. Not necessarily because I loved being pregnant or anything, but more because I love my brother so much and being able to give him a child that he would be an amazing dad to would be such an awesome thing. I would obviously not be the egg donor though.
My brother is also gay and he and his partner asked me to do this, but I would have been both egg donor and surrogate. I said no because I didn't think I could give away a baby that was half mine. He lives in a different country so I would only have seen the kid once a year. Also it would have interfered with our ttc plans. Now we're having secondary infertility so, if they knew, I'm sure they wouldn't be interested anymore anyway. Ironic that I was scared of the ivf procedure and then had to do it anyway for us.
Anyway, my saying no is why my brother didn't talk to me for about 3 years. That pretty much reaffirmed I'd made the right decision to say no.
Under the right circumstances, yes. I'm more sad to never be pregnant/give birth again than I really want another baby.
Exactly this. I loved being pregnant and would love to be pregnant again, but I don't think I want another child.
It would have to be for someone very, very close to me, and it would have to be the right time for my family as well. I have honestly offered to be a surrogate for my BFF, who is like a sister to me. My DH isn't thrilled with the idea of it, but I think it is something he would get onboard with if I really, really wanted to do it. It affects him too, so I would have to take his feelings into consideration.
I wouldn't be able to do it for anyone as a surrogate for hire or something (like the surrogate for Giuliana Rancic).