Came home today to find out that mom had left the water running in the kitchen sink when she went upstairs to ... well I never got that part, somewhere between "take a bath" and "convalesce for most of the day". So, anywhere between half an hour and half a day. Anyway, there's visible damage to several cabinets and the hardwood floor over half the kitchen, the cabinets are swelling in such a way that we can't close the dishwasher, and we haven't really looked into if anything seeped into the crawl space.
And that's the part that's not so bad. It's an insurance claim, the deductible, a brief (one hopes) renovation, and some hike in our insurance premium, since apparently the point of insurance is to never use it. In the grand scheme of human suffering, not the end of the world.
BUT! Mom decides that the tone of the conversation between the two of us is what let to babyniq's meltdown. Instead of, I dunno, dinner time is in ten minutes and he sees food and he's not even a year and a half old. Msniq gets home and would prefer not to talk about the topic -- it's just a chance to get angry and there's nothing to be done about it right now. Mom decides this a good time to ragequit the night and go hide in her room rather than have dinner with us. I try to get her to come back down but it works about as well as getting a moody teenager to sit at the dinner table. Like I said, taking care of the water damage isn't great but it's just phone calls and writing checks. It's really the emotional labor that I have the hardest time dealing with.
So msniq, babyniq & I spend dinner by ourselves, listening to the soothing tones of the tiny fan my mom bought at a dollar store that randomly starts clicking.
Oh and babyniq insisted that all of my chicken sit on his tray or he would melt down. He made it into a nice little tower.
To make this kind of MM, has anyone had water damage on this level? What were your total costs? How long did it take to get your kitchen (or whatever) back into shape?
I've never had the water damage, but I'm very familiar with clepto-baby issues at dinner. Mine is quite the sweetie and says thank you as he's stealing my entire plate. Then he kindly gives me his plate. He's good at sharing.
I don't know that that would solve much. If she wins her disability claim, she'd have more income, be on Medicare instead of Medicated, & I might see if she would be willing to move to the apodments or the partially subsidized senior living places.
I hope this will all blow over but it might take a while.
Post by lurknomore on Jan 26, 2015 23:27:27 GMT -5
Sorry niq. That would be tough to deal with. I admire what you're doing for your mom. My guess is dinner was much more peaceful just the three of you. Hang in there. This too shall pass.
I'm so sorry that's horrible!! We had a leak this fall while on vacation due to the kitchen faucet going bad. It buckled half out hardwood floors. We dried it out with fans and it has continued to dry for the past few months- now there are no buckles. So we're leaving as-is until we do a full kitchen remodel in ages years.
Your damage does sound worse than ours, but you would be surprised how much it can return to normal once it has time to fully dry out.
Have I mentioned before that you and [especially] msniq are saints? That sounds incredibly trying. I am guessing that your mom is feeling really vulnerable and defensive right now and that's why she's being so combative. But unfortunately it sounds like she is just making it worse for everyone. That's tough.
Post by delawarejen on Jan 27, 2015 7:52:16 GMT -5
My first thought was early dementia. (I'm not sure exactly how old your mom is, I was thinking in her 60's, but I have a family friend who is 70 and it's pretty progressed now so this is about where she would have been a few years ago). The completely ridiculous action combined with the behavior sounds about right for that. (It's not the only possible explanation, of course, and I don't mean to worry you unnecessarily, but it did cross my mind.)
As far as your question, I had a listing last year where the refrigerator water line leaked. My client was already working in her new city, so it wasn't discovered until it had destroyed all of the wood floors and baseboards. It was already under contract and scheduled to close in three weeks. We managed to get it all fixed and still closed on time, so about three weeks beginning to end. Cabinets weren't damaged though. I think the insurance company and contractor will really make a difference as to how long it will take. I believe the only cost to my client was her deductible.
I'm sorry. Like a PP said, perhaps it was better that she didn't sit with you at dinner. Just like the kitchen needs to dry out before you can really tell what needs to be replaced, the same goes for your relationship with her. It's not easy for any of the parties involved, but remember that you are doing a good thing.
To make this kind of MM, has anyone had water damage on this level? What were your total costs? How long did it take to get your kitchen (or whatever) back into shape?
I am sorry!
We had water damage from a burst pipe, we had to get new flooring in two rooms, it dried out, new baseboards, and a new rug. It took about a week, we actually got to upgrade our floors to hardwoods, and the hotel room we had to stay in was paid for (the first three nights). All this happened about a week before my due date with DD. But in the end, it worked out beautifully, and we love our floors. Our homeowners went up about 10%, but the claim was over 10K.
that is tough We had water damage at our last house from the washing machine tube feeding itself out of the drain pipe. We had to have hardwood floors replaced and ALL of the hw resanded. That was about $6k total, but insurance paid for it minus our deductible. It would've been a lot less if all of the hardwoods wouldn't have to be resanded....but that's what you get with hardwood floors
((( niq and msniq ))) Group hug. or :drink:. I know it's early but you deserve something. I am so sorry. Because this situation isn't stressful enough. You guys are good souls for hanging in there. I don't think know Mr. P and I would not be able to show the same kind of grace under pressure with ours actually in the house as you guys have done. I an guessing she is projecting her humiliation on to the "tone" of the conversation. Do you think this could be the result of a dementia type episode? Just something to be on the look out for.
As for the damage, we just got a quote for water damage at one of the rentals, extensive water damage in a bathroom: $10k With cabinets, I am sure it depends. I hope this repair process isn't too horrible for you guys. GL and may your little one keep bringing you smiles to sustain your sanity.
Post by imojoebunny on Jan 27, 2015 8:58:11 GMT -5
I had water damage the first time a tree fell on a house. Uhm, it can be a big honking mess. They had someone come in right away and dry it out with humidifiers, but they still had to replace the ceilings in 1/4 of the house (only one hole, but the water spread across the ceiling.). Obviously, I had other damage from the tree, but the water damage necessitated a couple of walls be re sheet rocked up about two feet, new base boards, redoing the flooring, painting the rooms that got new ceilings and the hallway leading too them (it is impossible to get building materials in and out of a house with hallways without messing them up) They may have to take out the cabinets if the water got behind or underneath them.
Your attitude is great, and that will help a lot. I just finished my third "tree fall on my house" fix. Each time it has taken about 6-8 weeks of actual construction, this time took 3.5 months start to finish. It depends on how many trades you need and how your towns permit process and inspections work.
Good luck! The good news is that I have never had to pay more than my deductible.
The water damage, or the being emo at dinner time?
The water damage she felt very very badly about. She tried her best to dry it out, folded our laundry, scrubbed the stovetop range, did as much tidying around the house as she could, etc.
The being emo? Not sure yet. If I had to guess, she probably feels bad about storming off but probably also thinks staying would have been even more awkward. Which I get, but I wish she had at least tried.
To make this kind of MM, has anyone had water damage on this level? What were your total costs? How long did it take to get your kitchen (or whatever) back into shape?
I am sorry!
We had water damage from a burst pipe, we had to get new flooring in two rooms, it dried out, new baseboards, and a new rug. It took about a week, we actually got to upgrade our floors to hardwoods, and the hotel room we had to stay in was paid for (the first three nights). All this happened about a week before my due date with DD. But in the end, it worked out beautifully, and we love our floors. Our homeowners went up about 10%, but the claim was over 10K.
We had water damage from a burst pipe, we had to get new flooring in two rooms, it dried out, new baseboards, and a new rug. It took about a week, we actually got to upgrade our floors to hardwoods, and the hotel room we had to stay in was paid for (the first three nights). All this happened about a week before my due date with DD. But in the end, it worked out beautifully, and we love our floors. Our homeowners went up about 10%, but the claim was over 10K.
Yikes! Sounds like you are handling it well. I hate unneeded/added stress to an already tough situation. At least it's just material damage because things can be fixed. Like you said, it's just a matter of making calls and writing checks.
Your attitude is great, and that will help a lot. I just finished my third "tree fall on my house" fix. Each time it has taken about 6-8 weeks of actual construction, this time took 3.5 months start to finish. It depends on how many trades you need and how your towns permit process and inspections work.
I really hope you've now taken down or seriously trimmed back any trees that are near your house.
Seriously! Only one of the trees was on our property, and it was 100 feet from the house and fell and hit another tree that hit the house. Damn trees. Insurance doesn't go up for tree falls, since theoretically, you can't control them. Apparently, I am a tree magnet.