Hey! I'm feeling okay. Just trying not to dwell on things, like that it might be my crappy eggs that caused the miscarriages. I know I can't do anything about it, so it's not worth me getting worked up about. I think having the EDD/loss milestone behind me has helped, even if that month served up the CP as well.
Love of my life baby boy born 11/11. One and done not by choice; 3 years of TTC yielded 4 MMC and 2 CPs, through 4 IUIs and 2 IVFs. Focusing on making the world a better place instead...and running.
I am doing ok. On Sunday I didn't get one but 2 pregnancies announcements and 1 birth announcement on Facebook. It was a hard day, I also went to my nieces 10th birthday party on Sunday and i was just so sad and frustrated seeing her.
It's not fair that I see my niece and then I feel sad for myself, it's really not. I hate it. (For those that don't know my twin sister had my niece when we were 16, and I obviously have some problems because of this, which I am in therapy for)
But other then that DH are doing better then we have in a long time. I love it.
Hugs awick14 - I probably would have lost my cool on Sunday with all of those announcements.
I was feeling pretty angry when I realized that someone not only met their wife, but got pregnant, married and had their kid all in one year (in that order). I was angry that I feel like I do everything "right" and yet I am empty handed. I felt bratty, but it felt good to be angry about it, share my thoughts with MH and then move on.
Surprisingly, the snow also made me a little sad. I found myself thinking that I wouldn't have been much help at nearly 28 weeks pg with all the snow that we were going to get.
Doing okay here. The EDD date is creeping up (late March) and I'm getting nervous about how that might affect me emotionally. I'd love to get a BFP before that but I don't want to set myself up to be disappointed. I'm thinking a trip around that timeframe might really help but I'll have to work on DH when it comes to spending money on that. I'd love to go somewhere warm.
Post by HoneySpider on Jan 27, 2015 13:39:49 GMT -5
raangoli I too have had that thought about doing everything "right" and having nothing to show for it. I'm glad I'm not alone.
belle55 I found getting my EDD behind me was actually helpful, I felt like we could move on. When it came around the 2nd time we actually decided to celebrate - I made birthday cake. I refuse to be sad about it all the time.
Post by HoneySpider on Jan 27, 2015 13:40:56 GMT -5
I feel detached right now, we're in a holding pattern since we can't TTC again this cycle because of the surgery. A few months ago I expected we were going to have our first IUI in January, it sucks how everything has been pushed back.
belle55 - I've thought about taking a trip around our EDD, too. I think that might be a nice thing to do!
HoneySpider - You're definitely not alone with those feelings. When is your surgery again? Fingers crossed that it goes well and it's smooth sailing for you from here on out.
belle55 - I've thought about taking a trip around our EDD, too. I think that might be a nice thing to do!
HoneySpider - You're definitely not alone with those feelings. When is your surgery again? Fingers crossed that it goes well and it's smooth sailing for you from here on out.
Feb 5 (next Thursday) I will be happy to have it over with and move on!
Post by EllenGriswold on Jan 27, 2015 13:49:51 GMT -5
We had our visit with BIL/SIL and new baby last weekend. It was ROUGH. But I think it helped because it spurred a couple serious conversations that DH and I needed to have. So I'm feeling ok-ish right now. Also, I think we agreed to put our entire tax return away for fertility treatments, etc. so it's nice to know we have that moving forward.
raangoli - I have those thoughts too. They aren't helpful but I've decided its ok for me to have shitty thoughts sometimes. I'm not going to waste mental energy feeling guilty because I don't have the "right" feelings about a situation.
I am doing okay. The EDD passed last month, right after my grandfather died and right before my grandmother died. It truly would have been a horrible time to be super pregnant/have new born (I would have preferred to have a baby of course, but I am trying to find the silver lining). We are trying again starting this cycle, so that is exciting since we had stopped for a few months. If nothing happens in 3 cycles, I will go in to make an appointment and have H go in too.
I'm doing alright right now. I'm really focusing on exercise and healthy eating which makes me feel good in general. I seem to do fine during most of the month, but get super sad and emotional on CD1. My EDD is coming up. I've been trying not to, but I know I will be extra sad if I'm not pregnant this cycle. It will have been the last chance to be pregnant by that date. It is definitely helpful to read that it gets easier to deal with once that date passes. So, thanks. I think it will be easier to not be constantly thinking "I was supposed to be ___ weeks pregnant right now".
Post by rockinrobyn on Jan 27, 2015 14:02:16 GMT -5
I went to church alone this past Sunday and there were 2 baptisms during mass. So, I sat there thinking how I should have had a 5 month old and feeling sorry for myself. I am having some anxiety about March. I found out about the MMC on March 10th. If I am not pg by then I know it will be a rough day.
FX that everything goes will next week HoneySpider!
((rockinrobyn)) Your EDD was the exact same as mine and my daughter would also have been 5 months. I find one of the hardest things about loss is that there are all sorts of 'anniversaries' you have to survive - I'm coming up on the anniversary of our 12 week scan in February (Valentine's Day to be exact - which is doubly painful for me because of our daughter's name). I'm finding this one harder in a way than my EDD because it was a day of joy and relief for me. It really was the day I fell in love with my daughter.
I'm doing... not so great. My referral to the miscarriage clinic somehow got misplaced, and I'm trying to find out what's going on. Today I bought a perfume with V's name. It's probably not the healthiest thing ever but I do really like how it smells.
Good luck with your surgery next week HoneySpider! I hope it is smooth sailing for you from here on out.
FYI I will be putting together the 'Loss and TTCAL' sticky info this week. I'll post it as a thread first so I can get feedback.
Doing ok. I'm still waiting for my levels to go to negative and we will start trying again once I start a new cycle. Atleast I finally stopped bleeding (bleeding for 13 straight days is no Bueno).
I might be taking a break from my facebook for a while. There are 5 people due to give birth in March (one is SIL) and I had 2 people from HS announce pregnancies both around my EDD. It's getting to be too much. When I brought the announcements up (one of them has had 2 kids in the amount of time that I have been TTCing) he said that he didn't feel like talking about it. I understand that he is devasted too that we lost another pregnancy, but I want to talk about it. I NEED to.
So today I am thankful for all of you lovely ladies. Without all of you to vent to I think I would be in a very dark place.
Post by rockinrobyn on Jan 27, 2015 16:08:42 GMT -5
((loira)) back to you. After this last "anniversary" I am hoping that it won't sting as much. These dates will forever be in my mind, but hopefully there will come a time when instead of spending the entire day being a mess, I will be able to get it down to spending an hour being a mess. I will be thinking of you and your family on those days as well.
Love of my life baby boy born 11/11. One and done not by choice; 3 years of TTC yielded 4 MMC and 2 CPs, through 4 IUIs and 2 IVFs. Focusing on making the world a better place instead...and running.
Post by ginkgoleaf on Jan 27, 2015 17:00:51 GMT -5
I'm doing ok. A friend on FB who had a loss the same time that I did is pg now and posted pics of her DS in their new double stroller with infant seat attached (baby hasn't been born yet). That stung a bit, just thinking that we were in the same place November 2013 and now she's about to have her second when I haven't managed to get pg again yet. It's hard to not compare and to not think "If I hadn't had that loss, we'd have a 5 month old right now". DS is really the perfect age for a sibling and is so excited for a baby someday, I feel guilty knowing he'll have to wait at least 9 more months for it to happen.
Hope it's ok that I posted that, I know TTTC #2 is a bit different that TTC #1. I will DD if anyone thinks I should.
ginkgoleaf I don't think anyone minds you posting that. It must be difficult having that extra reminder. I was an only child until 11, and I remember always asking my parents when I would be getting a brother or sister, because all my friends had 1+. I imagine it was very tough for them to hear.
ginkgoleaf - I hope you don't get asked to DD. Probably selfish of me, since I'm in the same boat, but I get it. DS is suddenly actually interested in a sibling, and has decided that we should have one of each. It makes me so sad to think I might not be able to give him that.
Love of my life baby boy born 11/11. One and done not by choice; 3 years of TTC yielded 4 MMC and 2 CPs, through 4 IUIs and 2 IVFs. Focusing on making the world a better place instead...and running.
I'm ok. I am really hoping our IVF cycle in April works so I'm pregnant before our EDD in May otherwise it's going to be rough. I had a little meltdown a week ago because of something we were talking about and I got really sad, but other then that I've been pretty good since Christmas.
ginkgoleaf, ditto the others in saying that I don't think you need to delete. Just because you already have one doesn't mean you are not struggling with your loss.
Doing ok. We're avoiding this month due to my latest loss last month. AF should be coming soon, so we can start again next month! ginkgoleaf we're also having trouble with #2. I only had one m/c before DD, and now in TCC #2, I've had 3 in a row, so not quite sure what's going on. All my blood tests came back normal. I'm going to start progesterone after a next positive pregnancy test, so hoping that's the answer!
My sister and my BFF are both pregnant right now, and are due right around when I would've been due with my latest loss. I am so happy for both of them, but sad for myself.
Post by callmehales on Jan 27, 2015 21:52:31 GMT -5
I haven't had any losses, but ditto the other posters that I'm SO thankful to have people who "get it". And I'll be SO pumped for each and every one of your BFPs.