WWYD? Should I be mad?

[pandorica]

We moved out of our last apartment back in ... August? Our friend took over our lease (with a roommate that we don't know). 

I told H that I wanted his name off of everything. I don't want to risk getting screwed over a year down the line when friend moves out and forgets to cancel something or forgets to pay or whatever. I just don't want to be attached to something like that that could potentially screw us over. H disagreed, he didn't want to make friend pay reconnection fees etc. I thought we had settled it... however we kept receiving bills in the mail (they were forwarded to our new address). H told me he was taking care of it, his name was off of everything etc. 

I just found out today that he actually did look into it, and for at least one utility decided not to switch it over to friend because the friend would have had to pay $50 to get it moved over to his name. So H has just been lying about "taking care of it", and had no intention of doing so. 

I'm pissed, and he's all, "but you wouldn't let me do it the way I wanted to? What was I supposed to do?!?" Um, not lie to me about it.

Would you have wanted to make your friend take over all the utilities, even if it meant they had to pay a fee to do so? Am I allowed to be mad? 

ETA We helped him out by letting him take the lease. Should have clarified. Our lease was up, we just told the rental company that he wanted it.


Read more: pandce.proboards.com/thread/414200/wwyd-mad#ixzz3Q4G2zisI

[whiskeyandwine]

If they helped out by taking over my lease, I would probably have offered to pay the fee for the utility transfer.

I'd be pissed my H lied to me, and didn't take care of this.

[pandorica]

Jan 27, 2015 18:24:47 GMT -5 whiskeyandwine said:

If they helped out by taking over my lease, I would probably have offered to pay the fee for the utility transfer.

I'd be pissed my H lied to me, and didn't take care of this.

We helped him out by letting him take the lease. Should have clarified. Our lease was up, we just told the rental company that he wanted it. 

[youhadmycuriosity]

Jan 27, 2015 18:24:47 GMT -5 whiskeyandwine said:

If they helped out by taking over my lease, I would probably have offered to pay the fee for the utility transfer.

I'd be pissed my H lied to me, and didn't take care of this.

This. I feel a reasonable compromise here would have been to offer to pay half of the reconnection fee for the friend, but get your name off this so you no longer have a liability.

[trafficgirl]

I would be pissed H lied to basically subdue me.

I agree with whiskeyandwine that I would probably have just paid the transfer fee.

[pandorica]

Jan 27, 2015 18:37:32 GMT -5 kevin arnold said:

I'm surprised they charge a fee for simply changing the name on the account.

So, has your H been paying the utility bills for the apartment that your friends now occupy? Since August? That's INSANE, right?

No, friend has been paying. He got set up with online accounts and I guess that's how he's paying, we just get the physical bills. 

OMG if I found out that this was true, I'd be burning shit down. But who knows? I have a very low lying tolerance level, I feel like I may question a lot now.

[orangeblossom]

I would be pissed, and DH would know it. Don't fuck with my money.

[Muddled]

Yes, you should be mad. Your H lied to you about something that could potentially have a long term impact.

Friend should pay the fee. That's just how this works. Your H paid the original connection fee, right?

[janegold]

I'd absolutely want the names changed.

A couple years ago, we switched our cell phone account from H's name to mine. Because of a small SNAFU, we didn't realize there was still a small balance (less than $100) left in H's name. We became aware of it when we went to buy our condo months later...and everything almost fell through because of that small balance in H's name.

If I were your H, I would have paid the $50 fee and made sure his name was off of everything. It's not worth the risk that it won't be done properly.

[pierogigirl]

I'd be pissed and DH would know it.

[1confused1]

So you moved out, this new guy moved in, but he didn't want to pay the utility hook up fee so your DH just left the accounts as is?

Yep, I'd be pissed.

[whiskeyandwine]

Ah, I thought maybe he sublease so you could move out. Given your upadate, friend/new tenant pays the fee. Just the way it is.

But I would still me mad about the lie more than anything else.

[pandorica]

Thank you for telling me I'm justified in my anger! He doesn't get it and thinks I'm overreacting. I don't know how else to tell him besides "lying is bad, duh!" Ugh, I think that pisses me off even more!

[lime]

Yeah, I'd be extremely pissed about the lying.

[pandorica]

Jan 27, 2015 18:56:35 GMT -5 @smace said:

Make sure your H gives ML a shout out on Judge Judy! I've always wanted to go on that show.

I feel like you've put a jinx on it, and now it's going to happen! 

[slcjess]

I would be pissed my h lied. Getting utilities set up is part of moving. I think its insane to ask the previous tenant to keep it in their name to avoid those fees, friend or not. Unless he was in some sort of crazy/abusive/unhealthy situation and needed to get out now, it's weird to not have him pay that stuff, imho.

[adhdfashion]

I wouldn't be mad. It would more be in the realm of blind rage.

[sparkythelawyer]

So, he did the one thing you told him not to do, and he's all "But I just don't get why you're mad?" Oh that makes my eyes burn...

[redheadk]

Yes, I would have wanted friend to take over his utilities. That's part of being an adult and paying your bills.

[polarbearfans]

I would be pissed about him lying and also for doing something so stupid. Back in college friends took the apartment after my lease was up. I notified the utility company to take my name off because I was moving, twice. I found out a year later when I received a collections letter that they lied when they said the bill was in their name. It was for the gap when hey moved out and a new person moved in.

[speckledfrog]

I would rip that motherfucker a new one.

[Deleted]

I wouldn't be mad about this. It just seems so trivial. This isn't an important lie. Just get it transferred now.

[frenchies]

Definitely be mad.

If he really wants to "help" the friend the reasonable thing would be to, say, let the friend spread out the switching of utilities into his own name over a couple of months so he isn't hit with all the fees at once. Paying half the fees would be above and beyond generous.

What happens if your friend's new roommate starts flaking and suddenly your friend can't get the other half of the money for bills? If he defaults and stops paying it is going to affect YOU. Then the e next time you move you may be hit with astronomical hookup fees for having a bad payment history.

But yes, the lying takes something that is obnoxious and turns it into erupting volcano rage. Wtf.

[dojo]

For $50?? That's the cost of your bud being a big boy and living on his own. For $50 this guy should have just put it in his name and your DH should have cancelled / transferred. I'd be ticked that your DH lied about it knowing that you wanted everything out of your names. Seems like you were pretty explicit.

[mrsukyankee]

This could have and still could seriously mess with your H's credit rating if bills aren't getting paid. Time to switch and time for your H to man up - he lied and he's wrong.

[pandorica]

Jan 28, 2015 1:20:17 GMT -5 elle said:

I wouldn't be mad about this. It just seems so trivial. This isn't an important lie. Just get it transferred now.

He still won't get it transferred. He thinks he's right. 

[littlemermaid]

Jan 28, 2015 6:57:23 GMT -5 pandorica said:

Jan 28, 2015 1:20:17 GMT -5 elle said:

I wouldn't be mad about this. It just seems so trivial. This isn't an important lie. Just get it transferred now.

He still won't get it transferred. He thinks he's right. 

I would take this into my own hands and call each utility company and say as of today I want to take the utility out of my name. The company will then send a letter to the address saying that the new resident has X amount of days to call in and put their name on the utility.  I would never risk ruining my credit.  Is your husband afraid his friend is going to dump him, it just sounds a little fishy to me.

[pandorica]

Jan 28, 2015 7:11:54 GMT -5 littlemermaid said:

Jan 28, 2015 6:57:23 GMT -5 pandorica said:

He still won't get it transferred. He thinks he's right. 

I would take this into my own hands and call each utility company and say as of today I want to take the utility out of my name. The company will then send a letter to the address saying that the new resident has X amount of days to call in and put their name on the utility.  I would never risk ruining my credit.  Is your husband afraid his friend is going to dump him, it just sounds a little fishy to me.

It's only in H's name, not mine, so I don't know that I can do this.

[Deleted]

1) You blatantly lied to me because you don't respect my opinion.
2) You are putting our family's finances at risk.
3) You are putting your friend before your wife, showing that you value your friend and his feelings more than you value your spouse's.

[ECB]

Jan 28, 2015 9:11:32 GMT -5 @chronoptomist said:

1) You blatantly lied to me because you don't respect my opinion.
2) You are putting our family's finances at risk.
3) You are putting your friend before your wife, showing that you value your friend and his feelings more than you value your spouse's.

the bolded is what it boils down to for me.  He's putting his friend before you.  THAT is what would really piss me off (and the lie is all a part of that).