How to word this email about money?

[krisim]

For those of you following my job decision process (spousal accommodation) in higher ed. I finally decided on the position that I wanted to take and when I met with the Director yesterday morning she told me the salary that they were planning to offer me.    It was quite a bit lower than I expected.  I expressed this to her and she said she would do some checking to see if they could increase it a bit.  

Before I accept this offer and move forward with the spousal accommodation hiring process (and turn down the other job that is waiting for me), I want to know what the salary will be.  Do you think it's too soon to follow up on it? 

How do I word this email to the Director without sounding too forward or too wishy-washy?  Here's what I've got so far (I had to take out the "I wanted to follow up" per the post yesterday!!!)  

Dear Director,

I am following up with you after our discussion yesterday regarding the salary you proposed. ? 

[lemon]

I think I would wait until at least Friday until following up. Maybe even Monday.

When do you have to give the other job offer an answer?

[krisim]

Jan 28, 2015 16:11:39 GMT -5 lemon said:

I think I would wait until at least Friday until following up. Maybe even Monday.

When do you have to give the other job offer an answer?

There is no firm deadline to respond to the other job, but they are eager to know my decision and I have put them on a few times already while trying to make a decision! (darn indecisiveness!!!).

[CrazyLucky]

Do you have the spousal accommodation part in writing? I'm asking because we moved for my job, with the promise of help to find DH a job. There was no help, and he was unemployed for quite some time. I'll never move with just a verbal promise of help again.

[delawarejen]

Jan 28, 2015 17:07:22 GMT -5 CrazyLucky said:

Do you have the spousal accommodation part in writing? I'm asking because we moved for my job, with the promise of help to find DH a job. There was no help, and he was unemployed for quite some time. I'll never move with just a verbal promise of help again.

OP is the spouse.

[Deleted]

If the offer was "quite a bit lower" and she might be able to come up "a bit" I would be seriously considering the other job. Do you know the salary for the othe job?

[krisim]

Jan 28, 2015 17:23:41 GMT -5 BirdGirl said:

If the offer was "quite a bit lower" and she might be able to come up "a bit" I would be seriously considering the other job. Do you know the salary for the othe job?

Ultimately this is what I did, I went back to the other job and they offered me more than what I was making in my old position.  Though money isn't the most important aspect to me, I think I like the 2nd job enough to accept the offer.  (I'm at a stage in my career that I don't want to be moving backwards financially!)

Thanks for the suggestions!