Another relationship Q. When you're at home for the night,

[bcv513]

After dinner is done and all the dishes are cleaned we usually sit on the couch and watch tv. I'll be playing around on the laptop or phone. H usually watches sports. It's not that exciting. Lol

[pandorica]

We're not very exciting. Eat dinner at the table together, then clean up the kitchen and I make my lunch for the next day. After that, we usually watch TV together. Occasionally play a game or do some chores.

[lilac05]

We have two kids, but they're young and go to bed early. We mostly just sit around and watch TV/mess around on the computer. We kind of rotate watching "Lilac Shows" "Mr. Lilac shows" or "both shows" (meaning likely neither one of us LOVES it, but we are both somewhat interested).

We recently started doing PiYo together right after the kids go down to bed. That has been good bonding for us.

Other ideas: home projects, game nights, doing puzzles together (great for building communication)

[daisyheadmaizie]

We play a lot of card and board games. It is a good way for us to interact and take a step away from all of our phones, tablets, tvs, etc.

Our favorite 2 player games are Iota, Othello, and Mancala. Sometimes we will play Mario kart or monopoly or some other game on the wii. 

[Queen Mamadala]

When he's not working and we're home we tend to watch Netflix/Amazon Instant Video, movies, or our favorite YouTube channels. We also do some gaming, engage in conversation about whatever, and just enjoy each other's company even if we're doing separate things (reading, schoolwork, etc). We're both movie/TV snobs/junkies and homebodies in many ways. We'll resume weekly date nights this summer when LO is a little older.

[whiskeyandwine]

We are really bad about this. We've had to really work on it over time, otherwise we're both like, on our phones or computers and not even "together".

Things we do: play a game (Bananagrams, Boggle, Scrabble, etc), Mario Cart on the Wii, play Family Feud while it's on TV, make time to cook and clean up dinner together, take a walk - even just around the block (seasonal).

I think this is probably something a lot of couples struggle with. What about like, a bowling league or something if he likes to be out and about? Or a speaker series at th e library? Some kind of class - pottery, archery, etc?

[captainobvious]

We usually run together or go on a long walk before dinner. After dinner, we watch TV and if I'm on my phone too much he'll bitch at me for it unless it's work. He really hates when I'm on my phone while we're watching TV but to me, I'm sitting there doing nothing, I might as well do something else too.

[trafficgirl]

Even before we had kids we'd eat dinner on the couch while watching TV shows together. It's the same now, we just do it after the kids are in bed.

I'd have a tough time with someone who always wanted to be on the go. I'm very much a person who needs a lot of down time in the evenings.

[TrickyBob]

My husband is 3rd shift, so I come home at 5pm and he's generally asleep until 6pm. I make dinner/do stuff around the house/bum around on the internet. And then make dinner. Then we watch tv until he goes to work at 930. That is Mon-Thursday

On Fridays and Saturdays, we often dick around at random stores (lowes, walmart, etc), sometimes we take really random short road trips to no where <--- those are our best "together" time moments, I've found. Or we go to a friend's house. It really helps having a couple to hang out with because we do couply things or are "forced" to spend couple time together. 

[Muddled]

We are totally lazy, especially in the winter. If there's something on the "must get done" list, we take care of it, but otherwise cold winter nights bring out the couch sitters in us.

[MWOS]

we work out together a couple nights a week. when he's finished with school, we plan to take fun classes together- dancing, cooking, painting, whatever.

[Deleted]

I'm not a big tv person at all.

When I have time and I'm in the relationship the evening usually involves going to an event, working out, talking, having sex, eating dinner together, playing games.

[zelda25]

Your H's schedule makes me tired just reading about it 

Fortunately, H and I are both pretty lazy, so it's easy for us to be perfectly content not doing much of anything. We have started having device-free nights--no TV, phones, computers--just music. We might play a game or just read, but it's nice to just "be" together without all the distractions. We both love astronomy, too, so weather permitting we sometimes spend the evening in the backyard with binoculars or the telescope looking at stuff. Do you two have any hobbies you can do together?

[rosiebear]

Most nights, H practices guitar for an hour or two while I internet or, on the evenings we have the kids, supervise homework or chauffeur.

After that, we watch a movie or tv show together and have a couple of drinks.

H has a jam he tries to go to every Wednesday, but otherwise most of the activities we do outside our house are done together.

[Deleted]

[Deleted]

H gets home around 5 usually and he'll sit and play with E until his bedtime. He usually puts E to bed since he's gone all day and wants to get some 1-on-1 time. E is usually asleep by 7 and we'll just sit on the couch relaxing together (and eat dinner on the couch after E is in bed). We're really boring lol. We rarely go out in the evening past 6 since E's bedtime is early. We've been watching Parenthood and The Following together lately. I'll sit on the Mac and he'll read. He goes to bed earlier than I do, around 11ish. But I'll go in and lay down with him and we just talk about our day or whatever is going on before he falls asleep.

Before we had E it was much the same. Dinner was usually at the table though, now we don't really have 'meals' together.

[Deleted]

He gets home earlier than me, but I make dinner.  So once I cook, we eat and then we clean up.  He's usually working or online while I'm prepping for the next day etc.  then we are both online/watching tv together.  It gets boring, but we both work full time so what can we do?  

[Nonny]

I don't know if I'll be much help, as we're both introvert homebodies who love nothing more than to sit at home and dick around on the internet while watching TV. At a minimum of twice a week we go out with friends, and the other nights we watch TV and dick around on the internet. If it's a show we both really like (and put away our electronics for) we'll cuddle while watching the show. When we are watching "filler" TV we'll sometimes show each other interesting things we've come across, or read stuff off the internet to each other. Like, I was showing him hidden sniper pictures on Slate, and he shows me videos he finds on Fail Blog.

[everyjuan]

Ok, so it's not out of the norm to watch tv. I was beginning to wonder. lol.

I like the idea of a class or playing games.

We are in a dart league now (lol) and while it's not necessarily my thing, it's a time once a week that we can be competitive together, and that's nice.

We were playing trivia crack together for awhile, and we'd go back and forth and taunt each other. That was fun. I kind of forgot about that.

Thank you for the suggestions!

[fryjack2]

Pre kids we would:

-Go for a walk/run
-Play scrabble
-Do the daily metro crossword (that was usually in bed before we went to sleep)
-Watch Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy and bet on them. Like, if I guessed the final puzzle H would have to give me a 10 minute massage. Or bring me a tea at work in the morning. Etc.

[FishChicks]

We typically only have two or two and a half hours that we're both awake and not working. We like to cook, so we'll cook dinner together, eat, clean up, and then watch a show on Netflix. After that he'll tuck me into bed and we'll just chat about our days for 20 or 30 minutes. In the summer we try to go for bike rides or walks around the lake instead of watching TV.

[rachers]

We often have things to do after work so any lazy night we get we take advantage. H hangs out in the kitchen while I cook dinner, we usually eat and catch up on our DVR.

If he's playing video games I'll hang out with him and read or work on my blog/chat online.

Right now he's working on building some new projects and the weather has been nice so when it's like that we sit in the garage while he works.

[everyjuan]

Jan 28, 2015 18:44:28 GMT -5 mofongo said:

I think it may boil down to what you're both happy with, and if it is different types of evening, maybe plan your week schedule? We happened to be fine on 'work' nights with not doing much. However, our weekends are usually really busy and we often go out with friends on Wed or Thurs as well. Of course, money and schedules impact this as well. I hope things are getting better for you:)

Thanks Things are going okay! We are really trying to be diligent about working on what we can work on with ourselves, contributing to an environment that the other person looks forward to coming home to, and trying to be more aware of what the other person needs/being kinder to each other in general. Even though we have a long way to go, those efforts have made a difference, I think.

That is a good suggestion. Maybe if we had a loose plan for the week, he would feel better about clearing his schedule knowing that we wouldn't always just default to sitting around.

(I saw your other post, too. Salsa sounds fun!)

[tacokick]

Watch Hulu/Acorn/Netflix, play games, cook dinner together.

[underwaterrhymes]

Right now I've been so sick and tired from first trimester stuff, I have been going to bed at 9, which doesn't leave a lot of alone time for me and H.

When I'm more functional, we watch a show together or have sex or talk. Or we both play around on the Internet.

Before having K, we used to play Scrabble. I miss doing that, actually. We also have a Book of Questions I wanted to get into, but we haven't opened it. I want to get better about quality alone time.

[tripleshot]

We have a nine year old but he goes to bed at 7:30. We usually lay on the couch and watch TV. I usually am on the ipad too and he'll do work stuff on his laptop. But we're next to each other talking about stuff and cuddling. A few nights a week we'll play a game with DS before he goes to bed.

[RoxMonster]

No kids here. It depends on the season.

In the summer, we spend time together at night doing outdoor activities. We'll take Rox for really long walks at the park or down by the river, we might go get a drink somewhere outdoors, take a hike in the evening, or even just sit out on our own patio listening to music and drinking some wine.

In the winter, it's harder. I just feel so blah overall and we don't see each other while it's still light out. We still get Rox for a quick walk, but most of our time together is spent watching TV shows we both enjoy or hanging out in the same room while we do separate activities (me reading while he browses online, etc).

[bania]

Mostly watch TV, play with the dogs, talk about things. Nothing too exciting. We sometimes go for a walk or to the mall just to get out.

[thebreakfastclub]

The kid is asleep by 8. H tries to watch most Pens games and I have 0 interest, so I watch TV in bed alone those nights.

Otherwise we might watch a show or play Wii board games. We try to stay off our phones.

Every so often, H asks if there is drama on the boards. I recap as needed.

[Elsa]

We watch bt together after M goes to bed. We have several shows that we enjoy together so we watch those. Maybe once a week we do our own thing. We usually watch a one hour show and then get ready for bed. We are old and boring