What do you think ...? (trigger warning - child violence)

[Deleted]

What do you think should, if anything, happen to this set of parents?

www.cnn.com/2015/01/28/us/washington-children-stabbed/index.html

Synopsis: Mother of 2yo and 6mo twins, battling PPD (unknown if receiving treatment for), has too much wine and slashes her children's throats to quiet them, citing she reached her "breaking point." Also cites her husband was recently deployed overseas (is home now) but does not help with LOs. Children survive, but need surgery to repair injuries. Children currently in protective custody. Mother is charged with attempted murder.

[Deleted]

Wow. I think she needs help. I think the kids need to be in a safe place (as they are) and she needs help. Therapy, medication...I sometimes think "mental instability or mental health issues" is overused or abused in the judicial system...it seems to apply here and I hope they can all get the help they need.

[quesyrah]

I think the mom needs help, they all need therapy and hopefully they can still have some sort of relationship. I don't know that the kids should be returned though, that's a very traumatic situation

[rosesandpetals]

I don't know what they should do but PPD is scary. I wish there were more resources and support for people who have it.

[penguingrrl]

I can't make any sort of judgement based on this limited information. It sounds like she is mentally ill and needs a lot of professional help. Whether she may later be able to safely regain custody can't be determined based on this small snippet. Everything about this story makes me sad.

[scattered]

I am grossly ignorant to PPD and all the implications of mental illness. My gut reaction is to take the children far, far away from her and get her help and therapy and rehabilitation and do whatever it takes so that she doesn't harm future children. I also don't know that I'd let those kids back in her custody.

[usm]

Jan 29, 2015 12:00:24 GMT -5 scattered said:

I am grossly ignorant to PPD and all the implications of mental illness. My gut reaction is to take the children far, far away from her and get her help and therapy and rehabilitation and do whatever it takes so that she doesn't harm future children. I also don't know that I'd let those kids back in her custody.

Even if she gets help, imagine how traumatized those kids have to be.

[cna]

Jan 29, 2015 12:53:44 GMT -5 usm said:

Jan 29, 2015 12:00:24 GMT -5 scattered said:

I am grossly ignorant to PPD and all the implications of mental illness. My gut reaction is to take the children far, far away from her and get her help and therapy and rehabilitation and do whatever it takes so that she doesn't harm future children. I also don't know that I'd let those kids back in her custody.

Even if she gets help, imagine how traumatized those kids have to be.

This is where I am too.

[rosesandpetals]

I can't imagine growing up with a scar on my throat as a reminder that my mother tried to kill me while living with her. But at the same time, PPD truly takes over. People talk about wanting to do awful things to their kids and only didn't because their S/O knew enough to get them help and once they recovered they turned out to be great mothers. I can't imagine coming out of the fog of a mental disorder and realizing I would never have my kids again... But is it fair to the kids? I have no answers. The situation is awful for everyone involved.

I wonder what the father thinks.

[penguingrrl]

Jan 29, 2015 12:00:24 GMT -5 scattered said:

I am grossly ignorant to PPD and all the implications of mental illness. My gut reaction is to take the children far, far away from her and get her help and therapy and rehabilitation and do whatever it takes so that she doesn't harm future children. I also don't know that I'd let those kids back in her custody.

My gut reaction is the same. But at the same time, can we really hold her responsible for a serious illness for the rest of her life? Even if she seeks the proper treatment and doctors and therapists have cleared her to return to normal life? 

I think that there need to be a lot of checks in place before she can regain custody. I'm not saying let her spend a month recovering then hand her back her kids. I think it would be a very long process going from supervised visits and regaining trust on both sides in conjunction with therapy for everyone involved (including whoever has custody). And I would feel more comfortable if there was a requirement that another trusted adult live with them so that someone can monitor if she's slipping back into depression and psychosis.

But I feel like until she works with doctors for a very long time we can't say whether her long-term prognosis would put the kids in danger. My gut reaction is that she should never see them again. My compassion and understanding of depression tells me otherwise.

[zbeesma86]

ugh. this is so sad.

[zbeesma86]

can you drink and take PPD meds?

[Deleted]

Jan 29, 2015 13:22:31 GMT -5 zbeesma86 said:

can you drink and take PPD meds?

I don't think so. Usually anti-anxiety/depression medications are indicated to not drink while on them.

[zbeesma86]

oh and mom and dad have different accounts of where the twins were hurt- which is odd.

what is it with the dad not wanting to hear the babies make noise- witnesses claim she would remove the children when they made noise anytime he was around.

maybe he got her drunk and put this idea in her head? on top of the PPD she was swayed to do it.

UGH!

[penguingrrl]

Jan 29, 2015 13:29:44 GMT -5 zbeesma86 said:

oh and mom and dad have different accounts of where the twins were hurt- which is odd.

what is it with the dad not wanting to hear the babies make noise- witnesses claim she would remove the children when they made noise anytime he was around.

maybe he got her drunk and put this idea in her head? on top of the PPD she was swayed to do it.

UGH!

Oh god, that sounds very plausible. And if he was making her remove the kids any time they made any noise at all I'm not surprised she broke. WTF kind of father is he???

[zbeesma86]

Jan 29, 2015 13:32:14 GMT -5 penguingrrl said:

Jan 29, 2015 13:29:44 GMT -5 zbeesma86 said:

oh and mom and dad have different accounts of where the twins were hurt- which is odd.

what is it with the dad not wanting to hear the babies make noise- witnesses claim she would remove the children when they made noise anytime he was around.

maybe he got her drunk and put this idea in her head? on top of the PPD she was swayed to do it.

UGH!

Oh god, that sounds very plausible. And if he was making her remove the kids any time they made any noise at all I'm not surprised she broke. WTF kind of father is he???

seriously- she kept saying the house was quiet for Thomas. Maybe he gave her the wine and joked about it and when she actually did it he was like holy shit! He did administer first aid- which the news said most likely saved the kids lives. But still. Something is fishy with this situation....

[penguingrrl]

Something is very fishy there. Which is exactly why I felt we had far too little information to speculate on whether she's fit to eventually regain custody. I won't write it off because we honestly don't know what happened or what the entire situation and circumstance involves. But it sounds like he was controlling her and manipulating her.

[thecheshirekat]

What do I think? Honestly, I read that and think "What if that had been me?" because I don't think it would have taken very much at that point in my kid's lives to push me over the edge. If I didn't have a strong support system with family nearby, if I had struggled with more depression, if I drank? Who knows how well I would have tolerated the surround-sound crying in those first six months? She needs very serious help, and has likely needed it for a while. I feel very sad for her and for the kids.

[Deleted]

Jan 29, 2015 15:15:57 GMT -5 thecheshirekat said:

What do I think? Honestly, I read that and think "What if that had been me?" because I don't think it would have taken very much at that point in my kid's lives to push me over the edge. If I didn't have a strong support system with family nearby, if I had struggled with more depression, if I drank? Who knows how well I would have tolerated the surround-sound crying in those first six months? She needs very serious help, and has likely needed it for a while. I feel very sad for her and for the kids.

I was having trouble formulating an eloquent response to this post and what your said conveys how I feel about this. I was in a dark anxious place after DS was born and didn't get help but I had awesome support from h and my friends. That being said, this highlights that ppa and ppd are so very serious and it is high time that the issue of pp mental health should no longer be some sort of taboo topic. I feel so sad for everyone involved here.

[jag01]

I wonder if she will face jail time, as she will most likely plead insanity? In a perfect world she gets treatment and regains custody, but what happens if she relapses? This time the children escape with a scar and memories that will haunt them for the rest of their lives, next time they might not be as lucky.

[quesyrah]

Okay what the fuck. The link didn't work for me so I responded based on the info in the OP (except somehow I read 6 mo old twins as a 6 year old). Anyway, I just read the CNN link on the story and what the fuck. I think beyond the PPD there is something going on with the dad. Maybe he's abusive, controlling etc. I don't think the mom should be the only one charged here.