Anyone else think she just didn't want to get a job?
don't get me started... a large percentage of my foreclosure clients are divorced SAHM's with kids in late teens early 20's. I'm like you need steady income from a JOB to be able to successfully work w/ a bank... They are more than a little tiresome in my experience.
"Children need more than money and the things that money can buy. They do have a right to having their basic needs met; housing, clothing, food, education and medical care. But they also require love, guidance and protection. When mothers and fathers cannot provide those, no amount of money can fill the aching loss a child feels. Why do we find it more acceptable for a parent to be emotionally unavailable to their son or daughter than we do for a parent to choose to live below the poverty line?"
As a working parent, this annoys me to no end. Daycare does not equal leaving children alone in small cages all day. I feel pretty confident that my kids get love, guidance and protection at their daycare or I wouldn't leave them there and I'm not emotionally unavailable just because they have other people who are emotionally available to them during the day. In fact, personally think I"m more emotionally available to them now that I work then when I SAH, because I focus more about the quality of time I spend with them because I know it it limited during the week. Caring for children is not a zero sum game.
I resent her implication that non-parent caregivers can't give "love and guidance." This is such a shamefest for parents who put their kids in daycare. Daycares can be very nurturing, enriching places for kids. No parent should be shamed for finding care for their kids while they work.
Right. This was said as my kid jumped out of the car today: "Mommy, thank you for taking me to school."
I can't with these extremes - daycares aren't the devil and SAHMs aren't lazy. When will media outlets tire of trumping up this false equivalency? These things make my ass itch.
That being said - I find the title to be misleading as a pp mentioned. It's about how she gave up working to care for her child who clearly needed her to be around him more for emotional support. That's not "saving a child from daycare."
"Children need more than money and the things that money can buy. They do have a right to having their basic needs met; housing, clothing, food, education and medical care. But they also require love, guidance and protection. When mothers and fathers cannot provide those, no amount of money can fill the aching loss a child feels. Why do we find it more acceptable for a parent to be emotionally unavailable to their son or daughter than we do for a parent to choose to live below the poverty line?"
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Sooo children who attend school aren't loved?? Because their parents aren't emotionally available every second of the day?
I'm going to say that being constantly available for your children at the drop of a hat actually teaches them the wrong lesson.
Post by NewOrleans on Jan 29, 2015 10:19:49 GMT -5
Why is this person so fixated on pizza? Pizza is not people's motivation for working. The dog story is a terrible event, but this article is... unappealing and uninteresting.
This feels incomplete to me. So many missing pieces of info, so I'm going to go with mom needs to feel needed 24/7. I'll even guess that contributed to the divorce, and that she doesn't let dad around because that would interrupt her martyr/savior narrative.
I always wonder how these "daycare is evil" people drop their kids off at Kindergarten at age 5. So a private daycare or pre-school setting that you pay for is going to ruin your child for life, but state sanctioned school from ages 5-18 is okee dokee.
I always wonder how these "daycare is evil" people drop their kids off at Kindergarten at age 5. So a private daycare or pre-school setting that you pay for is going to ruin your child for life, but state sanctioned school from ages 5-18 is okee dokee.
Given that the divorce happened when fragile snowflake was 5, I'm going to guess she was homeschooling because precious was far too sensitive for school.
I wanna see the receipts. Maybe her SAH job income was "poverty level" for 2 people, but was she qualifying for assistance? How did her child support come into play? What about alimony? Anyone can use a food bank. Did she qualify for food stamps?
Actually looking at the timeline it sounds like she just SAH for like a year and then started working more when her kid started school.
Post by lissaholly on Jan 29, 2015 11:26:58 GMT -5
I think if your 5 year old sees everyone but you as scary and not to be trusted, you should work on getting more good trustworthy adults in his life. I am not a child psychologist, but I think daycare can be a very caring and loving addition to families.
And she have up more than pizza and movies, give me a break. She gave up a safe neighborhood, enriching classes and a small slice of sanity without a gym membership.
ETA: she have up more, just countering the " pizza and movies" bullshit.
"Children need more than money and the things that money can buy. They do have a right to having their basic needs met; housing, clothing, food, education and medical care. But they also require love, guidance and protection. When mothers and fathers cannot provide those, no amount of money can fill the aching loss a child feels. Why do we find it more acceptable for a parent to be emotionally unavailable to their son or daughter than we do for a parent to choose to live below the poverty line?"
Sooo children who attend school aren't loved?? Because their parents aren't emotionally available every second of the day?
I'm going to say that being constantly available for your children at the drop of a hat actually teaches them the wrong lesson.
Even when I'm physically available every moment of the day I'm not emotionally available that entire time. I get tired.
Right. This was said as my kid jumped out of the car today: "Mommy, thank you for taking me to school."
I can't with these extremes - daycares aren't the devil and SAHMs aren't lazy. When will media outlets tire of trumping up this false equivalency? These things make my ass itch.
That being said - I find the title to be misleading as a pp mentioned. It's about how she gave up working to care for her child who clearly needed her to be around him more for emotional support. That's not "saving a child from daycare."
I'm not buying that. Her article reads like a martyr trope from a woman who wants to make sure everyone knows how self sacrificing she is.
Post by downtoearth on Jan 29, 2015 11:47:34 GMT -5
This is how I read it...
When I got divorced my rich husband stopped caring about me and his own kid. I was the only one in the world who could care for my own kid and I wouldn't trust anyone else to help my kid or me, because there aren't specialists anywhere in the world that can provide any part of what I can provide for my son, even part time. I am wicked qualified to work, and am better than most people b/c I never needed assistance even though I refused to work. So instead of working-out, movies, and eating out (which I only knew about b/c I used to be rich), I stayed at home and was the world to my kid b/c it doesn't take a village, it just takes me to fix everything. Oh and I totally felt judged b/c I was poor, they totes weren't judging me b/c I was a wackadoo too focused on my kid to make long-term life choices after a tough divorce.
I wanna see the receipts. Maybe her SAH job income was "poverty level" for 2 people, but was she qualifying for assistance? How did her child support come into play? What about alimony? Anyone can use a food bank. Did she qualify for food stamps?
Actually looking at the timeline it sounds like she just SAH for like a year and then started working more when her kid started school.
Yup and it wasn't true poverty. People who aren't sure they can feed their kids find the best daycare option available to them and hope it works out. Then they fight with medicaid or Early Childhood Intervention or whoever to get their child therapy.
The reason why this isn't passing the smell test is:
(1) you don't go from wealthy to poverty because of a divorce unless you are in the 1800s or a Lifetime movie.
(2) She says her poverty was triggered by the divorce which happened when her kid was five. At 5 you don't need daycare, you go to school. So the basis for her sanctimomming isn't even logical.
This in another lying mommy blogger looking for hits/money/attention.
An infant child was that scared from a dog attack he couldn't be separated from his mom?
I think it could happen. My nephew had some health issues that required surgery before a year old. He was a very social baby before surgery. After surgery he went into full panic mode if he was not being held by his mom. Even his dad couldn't hold him. He was like that for a while but he definitely got over it by the time he was 5.
Yeah, I felt like this was more about mom's need to be needed. Like, ex didn't need her anymore, so she's now smothering son with love to still feel needed. And the timeline really is confusing, she doesn't mention school at all, but I'm thinking she'd homeschool anyway, because she's so smart.
An infant child was that scared from a dog attack he couldn't be separated from his mom?
I think it could happen. My nephew had some health issues that required surgery before a year old. He was a very social baby before surgery. After surgery he went into full panic mode if he was not being held by his mom. Even his dad couldn't hold him. He was like that for a while but he definitely got over it by the time he was 5.
Again, truly poor people hand over their screaming kid and go to work. Unless I missed the part where several daycare options fell through because he screamed all day. Now that I can see happening.
The reason why this isn't passing the smell test is:
(1) you don't go from wealthy to poverty because of a divorce unless you are in the 1800s or a Lifetime movie.
(2) She says her poverty was triggered by the divorce which happened when her kid was five. At 5 you don't need daycare, you go to school. So the basis for her sanctimomming isn't even logical.
This in another lying mommy blogger looking for hits/money/attention.
If my kid had been born a week later she would've been 5 and not in kindy that school year (her bday is 6 days before the cut off which is Sept. 1) so that is entirely plausible.
I think it could happen. My nephew had some health issues that required surgery before a year old. He was a very social baby before surgery. After surgery he went into full panic mode if he was not being held by his mom. Even his dad couldn't hold him. He was like that for a while but he definitely got over it by the time he was 5.
Again, truly poor people hand over their screaming kid and go to work. Unless I missed the part where several daycare options fell through because he screamed all day. Now that I can see happening.
Oh, no, I don't doubt that there are many people who simply wouldn't have a choice. There seemed to be doubt as to whether the baby could actually be traumatized by the dog attack, and I think it is possible.
The reason why this isn't passing the smell test is:
(1) you don't go from wealthy to poverty because of a divorce unless you are in the 1800s or a Lifetime movie.
(2) She says her poverty was triggered by the divorce which happened when her kid was five. At 5 you don't need daycare, you go to school. So the basis for her sanctimomming isn't even logical.
This in another lying mommy blogger looking for hits/money/attention.
If my kid had been born a week later she would've been 5 and not in kindy that school year (her bday is 6 days before the cut off which is Sept. 1) so that is entirely plausible.
I wouldn't want to see how this child turns out as a teenager and adult. Poor thing. He's gonna need some serious therapy.
He's already a teenager. And okay, he doesn't know anything about sports and isn't the most popular kid in school and isn't really a 'masculine' boy but he is TOTALLY FINE SO HER CHOICES WERE OBVIOUSLY THE RIGHT ONES!!!
I don't think she understands what "poverty" is, because what she describes, in my experience, is still a pretty damn comfortable life.
Also, like PP said, I resent how she judges parents who put their children in daycare, as well as people who don't have a choice when it comes to living in poverty. She reeks of self-righteousness. I have sympathy for her due to the dog attacking her son, but she didn't even try daycare. It may have actually been just what he needed to regain confidence.