Hair pats/advice?

[Na]

My H has been wanting to get A into a preschool program forever and we just haven't found a program we liked. We toured a daycare/preschool yesterday and A LOVED it. He seemed right at home and wandered right in and was checking out the toys and talking to the other kids. H and I also really liked the place as well. We were told they wouldn't have a spot till the fall, possibly summer, but magically there was a spot for him in the 3 year old room and they thought he would do well there even though he isn't technically 3 yet. They do preschool prep I guess in that room, starting with more structure and letters and numbers. The four year old room is full preschool. He would be going full days, full time.


He wants to go. My H wants him to go. I know it would be good for him, especially since R is so young and the winter is so long. I cannot stop crying, I wonder if it is because I'm 8 weeks pp?. I also feel strange about sending him and staying home with R. Although I will certainly enjoy the alone time with R. Financially it will work since my part time job will cover it when I go back next month, then H will only have R on my two work days which is nicer for him.  Please tell me this is the right thing and they will take good care of my baby.

[Deleted]

It will be great! You don't HAVE to send him every day for the next month. You can have what Thad and I call "special treat" days and keep him home.

He will love the social interaction and it is one less thing that you and your dh have to worry about.

[katie]

Aw, big hugs. Lillian has been in DC since she was 16 weeks old. It is hard! I still have moments where I think, OMG someone other than me is taking care of my child for 9+ hours a day. It is such a relief if you like it and feel comfortable with the place and so does A.

I don't have another child but I think that the time you will have with R one on one will be great, just like one on one time was with A at that age. A will get to play and learn and he really will love it! No matter what, how you are feeling is normal.

[kandrze1]

I think he would do great! I honestly like the idea of a 3 year old room over a younger room just because of the peer roll models. It's hard to think of them going to school 4 or 5 days a week, but I bet he will love it.

[jfh]

Oh honey! This is the right thing and they will take good care of your baby. It sounds like a wonderful opportunity - for him, for you, and for R. Is it possible to start part-time, even if you're paying for full-time, just to give you an adjustment period? If they don't like kids coming & going in the middle of the day, maybe you can start with a couple of days per week? It's different for us since Kai has been in care since he was a baby, but FWIW he absolutely loves his preschool. He's made wonderful friends and it seems like he has a lot of fun. Of course, there are times when I notice they're doing something different from how I would do it, and plenty of mornings when he says he doesn't want to go to school. But overall I can tell it's a net positive for him, and it's good for him to experience the direction and authority of other caring adults.

Whatever decision you make will be fine for him, but I'm sure he'll thrive there if you choose to send him!

[Deleted]

A was born end of August and while we could of sent Brady in September but I waited because I was worried about too much change at once and him bringing home so much sickness since he's never been in group care before. He goes 2 half days a week since January and I'm so glad I waited he seemed to really mature the last 4 months

[alicia45]

Aww... preschool is so emotional! We're on the fall wait list for our top preschool because I didn't want to start her last week. It's a little selfish but I want the next 7 months to play and learn together. She's already far ahead for educational purposes so staying home a while longer seemed okay. She'll have years and years of schooling. We go to the gym daycare 3 days a week and have play dates, so it's not like she's missing social interaction.

I get your feelings about it. Our babies are growing and learning and it's hard because we want them to stay babies forever.

[shevacc]

G is in a program with mostly 3 year olds and LOVES it. Her verbal skills have been improving sooooo much from talking with the other children. I kept her in school full days during my maternity leave partly for me to get more snuggle time in with A and partly for her to be better entertained. She quickly got bored of me sitting on the couch nursing. I loved the special bonding time I got with A especially since he and I rarely get alone time now, just the two of us.

Be easy on yourself! 8 weeks post partum you're still regulating hormones so it's perfectly normal to be feeling the emotional rollercoaster. I like @thadsrad's idea of giving yourself permission to keep him home part of the time while on leave.

[Na]

@thadsrad that is a great idea thank you!

jfh they do seem pretty flexible so I think I could do that. Sadly I think it would be more for me than for him! I think we are going to play it by ear, happily the center is only five minutes away so I can always change my mind lol.

shevacc he is so bored stuck inside with me tending to the baby, we are both frustrated and not enjoying each other like we do when we can keep busy at activities and out of the house. That's Awesome that G's speech improved, I am concerned about them understanding him. He is improving every day but I still think he's behind.

[sunshineluv]

When I was home on ML with Annabelle, I sent Henry to daycare most days. I loved that time with her. It was wonderful getting to hold her and rock her and bond with her, without having to consider keeping up with a toddler. When I had moments on mom guilt I reminded myslef Henry got that time (ML) alone with me too.

(((Hugs))))

[blane12]

I'm going to be going through this soon as I'll be having this baby in Feb, and they said B can start preschool as soon as March. We are going to keep him at home with me until April only because there's going to be enough rocking his world when I have this baby, and I want a little time with both boys. We are going to do a flex start too to ease into it because it's full time 4 days a week. It seems crazy to me that our kids are old enough for preschool! I'm sure A will do great. Your PP hormones probably have a bit to do with it too, but after you make the change, you will probably be happy you did. Hugs.

[ktstorm]

@thadrad is wise - that's what we do with B. W have to pay for daycare whether he's there or not, but sometimes we take special days off to spend with him or my parents or MIL will spend the day with him.

Enjoy some one-on-one time with R. I forget who said it (and they probably said it better than I'm going to paraphrase), but you got to focus completely on A at this age, so don't feel guilty about having the opportunity to focus completely on R by having A go to preschool.

[formerlyllizzyb]

All I have to offer is that G's two days a week at school this year have SAVED ME. It's been amazing for both of us.

[onehitwonder]

You will all do great! Even though we paid for full time, we eased W (and me) into the program over the first 6 weeks, sometimes going half days and sometimes just staying home. Good luck - it sounds like a wonderful place and a good fit.

[betsyray]

Max LOVES school. And I love alone time with Theo and running errands with one kid. Win win. It's so emotional when they start, but I think you'll all end up loving it.

[fryjack2]

He is going to love it!!

And I think in a few weeks you will too. It's like a long play date with new friends for A. You will surprised at how much he learns and new skills he picks up while there. And you get some 1:1 time with the new little one that you had with A.

And like Thad said, you dont have to send him every day

Hugs though because I know it's a bittersweet milestone.