"This prick is asking for someone here to bring him to task Somebody give me some dirt on this vacuous mass so we can at last unmask him I'll pull the trigger on it, someone load the gun and cock it While we were all watching, he got Washington in his pocket."
Post by cookiemdough on Jan 29, 2015 9:55:09 GMT -5
Sorry here if you file a divorce complaint with the court they issue the summons and you have to have them served by a process server so it is clear they received the complaint. It starts the clock.
Post by cookiemdough on Jan 29, 2015 9:57:22 GMT -5
Lyss you might be right but I wish that was made a little clearer to me. I have been checking in each day, first he didn't come in, second it was the weather (which I don't know I made t to work on time and the courts were open, they were supposed to try yesterday so maybe it worked but I thought I would have heard something from STB ex if he was served. I guess I am just getting a little impatient.
I would just ask whoever is the appropriate person (your lawyer? The process server?) what the typical turnaround time is. I'm with 1confused1 that it took a little bit of time for me because my ex was hard to find
Post by jojoandleo on Jan 29, 2015 10:05:09 GMT -5
It's been less than a week. It takes a while to get service out. Some hire a process server, some do certified mail. e may have a process server who comes at a certain day and time to get all the summons and serve them at once. You have up to 6 months to serve someone. Chill.
Also, people dodge service, aren't home, etc. I would be annoyed if my client was calling me about service when it had been less than a week.
If you're unclear about things, ask. You should know how and when he will be served. It has been less than a week though and depending on the procedure, this may be normal for your jurisdiction.
It's been less than a week. It takes a while to get service out. Some hire a process server, some do certified mail. e may have a process server who comes at a certain day and time to get all the summons and serve them at once. You have up to 6 months to serve someone. Chill.
Also, people dodge service, aren't home, etc. I would be annoyed if my client was calling me about service when it had been less than a week.
I don't know what the six month thing is. Here nothing can even get started until the divorce complaint is served. Then he has 30 days to respond and then we can begin getting stuff scheduled through court. But it is all triggered off the date he is served.
I would love to chill except he is acting a fool and threatening to take the kids without my consent, changing childcare arrangements and refusing to tell me who is caring for the kids while in his presence. My only recourse is to get a custody arrangement in place which I can't get him to willing work on so my only recourse is to have him served so we can go through court.
To my knowledge the server hasn't even tried to serve him so it is not a MIA situation.
My attorney was the one who stated last week that she received the summons and would get it out Monday. We are now at thursday. But thanks for making it clear I am probably annoying her. Very helpful.
It's been less than a week. It takes a while to get service out. Some hire a process server, some do certified mail. e may have a process server who comes at a certain day and time to get all the summons and serve them at once. You have up to 6 months to serve someone. Chill.
Also, people dodge service, aren't home, etc. I would be annoyed if my client was calling me about service when it had been less than a week.
I don't know what the six month thing is. Here nothing can even get started until the divorce complaint is served. Then he has 30 days to respond and then we can begin getting stuff scheduled through court. But it is all triggered off the date he is served.
I would love to chill except he is acting a fool and threatening to take the kids without my consent, changing childcare arrangements and refusing to tell me who is caring for the kids while in his presence. My only recourse is to get a custody arrangement in place which I can't get him to willing work on so my only recourse is to have him served so we can go through court.
To my knowledge the server hasn't even tried to serve him so it is not a MIA situation.
My attorney was the one who stated last week that she received the summons and would get it out Monday. We are now at thursday. But thanks for making it clear I am probably annoying her. Very helpful.
Based on this response, you probably are.
I'm sorry for everything you are going through, but it can take some time to get people served. You cannot control everything. You obviously have enough to worry about without adding stress about service. Tell your attorney your concerns and ask her to keep you in the loop. Then let it go until it's been more than three freaking days.
I don't know what the six month thing is. Here nothing can even get started until the divorce complaint is served. Then he has 30 days to respond and then we can begin getting stuff scheduled through court. But it is all triggered off the date he is served.
I would love to chill except he is acting a fool and threatening to take the kids without my consent, changing childcare arrangements and refusing to tell me who is caring for the kids while in his presence. My only recourse is to get a custody arrangement in place which I can't get him to willing work on so my only recourse is to have him served so we can go through court.
To my knowledge the server hasn't even tried to serve him so it is not a MIA situation.
My attorney was the one who stated last week that she received the summons and would get it out Monday. We are now at thursday. But thanks for making it clear I am probably annoying her. Very helpful.
Based on this response, you probably are.
I'm sorry for everything you are going through, but it can take some time to get people served. You cannot control everything. You obviously have enough to worry about without adding stress about service. Tell your attorney your concerns and ask her to keep you in the loop. Then let it go until it's been more than three freaking days.
I don't know what the six month thing is. Here nothing can even get started until the divorce complaint is served. Then he has 30 days to respond and then we can begin getting stuff scheduled through court. But it is all triggered off the date he is served.
I would love to chill except he is acting a fool and threatening to take the kids without my consent, changing childcare arrangements and refusing to tell me who is caring for the kids while in his presence. My only recourse is to get a custody arrangement in place which I can't get him to willing work on so my only recourse is to have him served so we can go through court.
To my knowledge the server hasn't even tried to serve him so it is not a MIA situation.
My attorney was the one who stated last week that she received the summons and would get it out Monday. We are now at thursday. But thanks for making it clear I am probably annoying her. Very helpful.
Based on this response, you probably are.
I'm sorry for everything you are going through, but it can take some time to get people served. You cannot control everything. You obviously have enough to worry about without adding stress about service. Tell your attorney your concerns and ask her to keep you in the loop. Then let it go until it's been more than three freaking days.
Post by pinkdutchtulips on Jan 29, 2015 14:01:53 GMT -5
if the person being served is cooperative and doesn't try to duck service (that would be my xh). it usually takes a week - 10 days to set the summons out for service, serve the dang thing, get the proof of service prepared and back to you.
my xh ducked service on the service of the TRO to the point where I had to coordinate w/ LE to be there to let them in to serve him and it ended up being a giant clusterf ! when I had him served with the divorce papers, I had to take advantage of the fact that he was in jail and had him served there.
if its for the initial divorce petition, its going to take time bc he has to be personally served. that can be a major pain in the ass.
if its for the initial divorce petition, its going to take time bc he has to be personally served. that can be a major pain in the ass.
In my case, stbxh was living with his AA sponsor (don't even get me started on that bullshit), and she was able to sign the papers vouching for him. He was served the day after I filed for divorce.
if its for the initial divorce petition, its going to take time bc he has to be personally served. that can be a major pain in the ass.
In my case, stbxh was living with his AA sponsor (don't even get me started on that bullshit), and she was able to sign the papers vouching for him. He was served the day after I filed for divorce.
sub service ? wow that's dicey w/ something like a divorce petition !
In my case, stbxh was living with his AA sponsor (don't even get me started on that bullshit), and she was able to sign the papers vouching for him. He was served the day after I filed for divorce.
sub service ? wow that's dicey w/ something like a divorce petition !
No clue, but it's all legal. I don't know if it's different in other states. He ended up hiring a lawyer and he responded within the 30 days though, so it's all good!
Additionally, you probably won't hear from the process server until attempts (SEVERAL) have been made and failed over a period of 10-14+ days, OR until the person has been served. Three days is just not enough time. Jojo knows what she's talking about.
I didn't have to serve anyone for my divorce, but if someone told me Monday and I had never done it before I might have an expectation that it would happen on Monday or some day soon after. Seems like if it takes longer and you are irritating your attorney she might have mentioned when you called that it may take a couple of weeks for this to happen or whatever rather than letting you call back each day inquiring about it.
I would assume most attorneys explain the legal process. Many clients do not listen. I also expect most grown adults understand what service is. It's not like you get a summons and you BOOM-serve someone. You have to get it to the process server, the process server has to actually catch the person at home. Plus, your case isn't the only case the lawyer OR the process server is working on. The process server won't just sit outside all freaking day. Keep in mind, most get paid only, like $50 a pop.
It's really annoying that people think the legal process should be done in a day. Or that your attorney is lazy/not doing something because it's not done instantly. The legal process takes time. Maybe rather than calling every single day, you give it time. This isn't like your electricity is out. When you mail a letter on Monday, do you expect it to get there Monday? Or do you give it time? I don't think a little patience rather than being all, "It's not done right now, this is routine!" is too much to ask.
I would assume most attorneys explain the legal process. Many clients do not listen. I also expect most grown adults understand what service is. It's not like you get a summons and you BOOM-serve someone. You have to get it to the process server, the process server has to actually catch the person at home. Plus, your case isn't the only case the lawyer OR the process server is working on. The process server won't just sit outside all freaking day. Keep in mind, most get paid only, like $50 a pop.
It's really annoying that people think the legal process should be done in a day. Or that your attorney is lazy/not doing something because it's not done instantly. The legal process takes time. Maybe rather than calling every single day, you give it time. This isn't like your electricity is out. When you mail a letter on Monday, do you expect it to get there Monday? Or do you give it time? I don't think a little patience rather than being all, "It's not done right now, this is routine!" is too much to ask.
Again, you are familiar with the process but not all of us are -- as I said earlier, I have never had to serve a summons for any reason -- and, as a result you ASSume that we know what you know. You also ASSume that her attorney is irritated with her calling and asking about it because you know all these things and you would be. Maybe she's not, at the very least it doesn't seem as if she is showing irritation when Cookie calls or that she has communicated to Cookie that she is over eager.
But more to the point, your tone earlier was condescending. She asked a question because she didn't know. How does it help to be a bitch about it?
Meh, I just am a bitch. I'm okay with that. I didn't think my first post was condescending at all. More just telling her to chill. But, I really don't care if you or she think I am a bitch. I will live.
I didn't have to serve anyone for my divorce, but if someone told me Monday and I had never done it before I might have an expectation that it would happen on Monday or some day soon after. Seems like if it takes longer and you are irritating your attorney she might have mentioned when you called that it may take a couple of weeks for this to happen or whatever rather than letting you call back each day inquiring about it.
I would assume most attorneys explain the legal process. Many clients do not listen. I also expect most grown adults understand what service is. It's not like you get a summons and you BOOM-serve someone. You have to get it to the process server, the process server has to actually catch the person at home. Plus, your case isn't the only case the lawyer OR the process server is working on. The process server won't just sit outside all freaking day. Keep in mind, most get paid only, like $50 a pop.
It's really annoying that people think the legal process should be done in a day. Or that your attorney is lazy/not doing something because it's not done instantly. The legal process takes time. Maybe rather than calling every single day, you give it time. This isn't like your electricity is out. When you mail a letter on Monday, do you expect it to get there Monday? Or do you give it time? I don't think a little patience rather than being all, "It's not done right now, this is routine!" is too much to ask.
*golfclap*
I totally get what you are saying .. I'm a litigation paralegal
I didn't have to serve anyone for my divorce, but if someone told me Monday and I had never done it before I might have an expectation that it would happen on Monday or some day soon after. Seems like if it takes longer and you are irritating your attorney she might have mentioned when you called that it may take a couple of weeks for this to happen or whatever rather than letting you call back each day inquiring about it.
I would assume most attorneys explain the legal process. Many clients do not listen. I also expect most grown adults understand what service is. It's not like you get a summons and you BOOM-serve someone. You have to get it to the process server, the process server has to actually catch the person at home. Plus, your case isn't the only case the lawyer OR the process server is working on. The process server won't just sit outside all freaking day. Keep in mind, most get paid only, like $50 a pop.
It's really annoying that people think the legal process should be done in a day. Or that your attorney is lazy/not doing something because it's not done instantly. The legal process takes time. Maybe rather than calling every single day, you give it time. This isn't like your electricity is out. When you mail a letter on Monday, do you expect it to get there Monday? Or do you give it time? I don't think a little patience rather than being all, "It's not done right now, this is routine!" is too much to ask.
Wait why would you assume I didn't listen? I specifically stated above what she said. She called me to inform me that the summons came in on a Friday. She asked for information about his schedule and for a picture. She then said i will give it to the process server on Monday so he can be served as soon as possible. I am not sure where I should get from that response that it will take a couple of weeks. Even when I followed up she never clarified it would be weeks, she just said we will get it out tomorrow which again didn't happen and which is why I asked this board. Notice the question mark in the OP. I didnt state it was routine, I asked a board of people that I thought could give me some feedback whether it was routine.
The only assumption I made when she said Monday is that she made that statement with an understanding of his schedule and when he generally comes by their office.
Most shared their stories and it was helpful to know the pitfalls and timing of their experiences so I now know, no it is not uncommon. But your assumption that people who are not attorneys, paralegals or haven't gone through this before should know the ins and outs of process serving and their salary is quite frankly asinine.
I really do appreciate the others that shared. Although I will probably stick to my home board. I am not going through an easy time and quite frankly to have basic questions be met with undue derision over stupid shit is more than I can really deal with. I guess at $350 an hour I will just have annoy my attorney instead.
Post by 1confused1 on Jan 30, 2015 21:51:05 GMT -5
cookiemdough don't leave, we are a very supportive board
I was like you when I first had to serve my xh. I filed without an attorney and had to hire a server myself. I'm not kidding that I was on the edge of me seat wondering when they were going to serve them because, like you, it started the clock ticking.
My situation was different in that they literally had to find him and that's what took so long.
cookiemdough don't leave, we are a very supportive board
I was like you when I first had to serve my xh. I filed without an attorney and had to hire a server myself. I'm not kidding that I was on the edge of me seat wondering when they were going to serve them because, like you, it started the clock ticking.
My situation was different in that they literally had to find him and that's what took so long.
Hang in there, I'm sure it will happen soon.
Thank you I really appreciate your support. Maybe I will put on my big girl pants and come back at some point. I have some months ahead of me to get this done and I am sure I will have more questions. But right now I am not really in a place to receive snark well on something that is so raw for me. I took another posters advice awhile back about finding a divorce care class. So maybe after I have had a chance to get out some of my feelings there I will be in a better place to post here.
Again, you are familiar with the process but not all of us are -- as I said earlier, I have never had to serve a summons for any reason -- and, as a result you ASSume that we know what you know. You also ASSume that her attorney is irritated with her calling and asking about it because you know all these things and you would be. Maybe she's not, at the very least it doesn't seem as if she is showing irritation when Cookie calls or that she has communicated to Cookie that she is over eager.
But more to the point, your tone earlier was condescending. She asked a question because she didn't know. How does it help to be a bitch about it?
Huh? I have no skin in this game, but from my standpoint, the only person in this thread being "a bitch" is you.
Sous is a great friend to me and knows a lot of what I have been dealing with. And even with all of that and her ride or die instincts, she was quite pragmatic and there is nothing she has said or done in this thread that warrants her being called a bitch.
I would assume most attorneys explain the legal process. Many clients do not listen. I also expect most grown adults understand what service is. It's not like you get a summons and you BOOM-serve someone. You have to get it to the process server, the process server has to actually catch the person at home. Plus, your case isn't the only case the lawyer OR the process server is working on. The process server won't just sit outside all freaking day. Keep in mind, most get paid only, like $50 a pop.
It's really annoying that people think the legal process should be done in a day. Or that your attorney is lazy/not doing something because it's not done instantly. The legal process takes time. Maybe rather than calling every single day, you give it time. This isn't like your electricity is out. When you mail a letter on Monday, do you expect it to get there Monday? Or do you give it time? I don't think a little patience rather than being all, "It's not done right now, this is routine!" is too much to ask.
Wait why would you assume I didn't listen? I specifically stated above what she said. She called me to inform me that the summons came in on a Friday. She asked for information about his schedule and for a picture. She then said i will give it to the process server on Monday so he can be served as soon as possible. I am not sure where I should get from that response that it will take a couple of weeks. Even when I followed up she never clarified it would be weeks, she just said we will get it out tomorrow which again didn't happen and which is why I asked this board. Notice the question mark in the OP. I didnt state it was routine, I asked a board of people that I thought could give me some feedback whether it was routine.
The only assumption I made when she said Monday is that she made that statement with an understanding of his schedule and when he generally comes by their office.
Most shared their stories and it was helpful to know the pitfalls and timing of their experiences so I now know, no it is not uncommon. But your assumption that people who are not attorneys, paralegals or haven't gone through this before should know the ins and outs of process serving and their salary is quite frankly asinine.
I really do appreciate the others that shared. Although I will probably stick to my home board. I am not going through an easy time and quite frankly to have basic questions be met with undue derision over stupid shit is more than I can really deal with. I guess at $350 an hour I will just have annoy my attorney instead.
Huh? I have no skin in this game, but from my standpoint, the only person in this thread being "a bitch" is you.
And now you, apparently. I wasn't the only one who read Jojos comments and side-eyed them I'm just the one speaking up. Maybe they were cool with you and that's cool, too.
Lol. Okay. A whole group of people think I'm a bitch because I think OP needs to chill. But are afraid to speak up because... They fear my wrath? This is ricockulous. We are all presumably adults. I personally do not think my first response was condescending or bitchy at all. Apparently other people disagree and I'm a big old meanie. If people really think that remark makes me a bitch, well, sorry.
I would assume most attorneys explain the legal process. Many clients do not listen. I also expect most grown adults understand what service is. It's not like you get a summons and you BOOM-serve someone. You have to get it to the process server, the process server has to actually catch the person at home. Plus, your case isn't the only case the lawyer OR the process server is working on. The process server won't just sit outside all freaking day. Keep in mind, most get paid only, like $50 a pop.
It's really annoying that people think the legal process should be done in a day. Or that your attorney is lazy/not doing something because it's not done instantly. The legal process takes time. Maybe rather than calling every single day, you give it time. This isn't like your electricity is out. When you mail a letter on Monday, do you expect it to get there Monday? Or do you give it time? I don't think a little patience rather than being all, "It's not done right now, this is routine!" is too much to ask.
I really do appreciate the others that shared. Although I will probably stick to my home board. I am not going through an easy time and quite frankly to have basic questions be met with undue derision over stupid shit is more than I can really deal with. I guess at $350 an hour I will just have annoy my attorney instead.
at $350 an hr the only person who will benefit from repeated 'hand holding' calls is your attorney. it won't do a dang thing to make you more at ease. i say this from the standpoint of a single parent who has to watch every.single.penny. daily calls to see if something has been done (ie service) will only cause more stress, call every few days or once a week. trust me, they WILL get in touch w/ you once he's been served.
I really do appreciate the others that shared. Although I will probably stick to my home board. I am not going through an easy time and quite frankly to have basic questions be met with undue derision over stupid shit is more than I can really deal with. I guess at $350 an hour I will just have annoy my attorney instead.
at $350 an hr the only person who will benefit from repeated 'hand holding' calls is your attorney. it won't do a dang thing to make you more at ease. i say this from the standpoint of a single parent who has to watch every.single.penny. daily calls to see if something has been done (ie service) will only cause more stress, call every few days or once a week. trust me, they WILL get in touch w/ you once he's been served.
Wth? Do I not know some backstory? She's not done this before. I didn't know wtf I was doing and inquired a lot whether or not he had been served. And I was counting every single penny