My inlaws have been in my home for 6 weeks. I can not. This is what I've learned.
1. Older people always have their ringtones on SUPER LOUD and pick the most obnoxious rings, like roosters and techno club music and shit. I always have to give them the evil cold stare when other people in the house are sleeping.
2. The state of the weather currently, tomorrow, and 2 weeks from now is of the utmost importance. Unless there is a tornado or a hurricane coming, let's all relax.
3. They stay in your kitchen. Get out of my kitchen. I know how you all roll. I'm not eating that.
4. My FIL is mad sexist. MIL left him about 2 months ago. As far as I could tell when she was here she could not be happier. When we talked to FIL he said he wanted her back BUT also said that he thinks she has a "krankheit" ("sickness") in the head because she likes to be social and when they go on trips it's always with other retired teachers like herself and they just talk nonsense the whole time. How can teachers be interesting, he says? The best part however was when my H said, "well, you know she doesn't like living in the middle of nowhere in that big house. She gets scared." This mofo said, "She's not scared of the house, she is scared of housework. And a big house needs work. But she would rather sit in front of the TV instead of work for 3 hours."
Mensch!!!! You should have seen my face!
This woman is 70 and worked her whole life and retired. And yo trifilin' ass is saying WHAT??? And he's still thinking she may come back to him so he's telling neighbors and friends that she is out sick or partying or some nonsense. She said maaaaybe if he went to counseling, but he told us counseling is ridiculous and he's not going for her krankheit. Schatz, you are going to need to get used to singing this chorus here
In all honesty, I'm thankful for their service, but I'm flickering the lights. Time to go home.
yikes, 6 weeks!! He sounds like a fun guy to have around. Is there an end date you can look forward to? I love how he thinks she's scared of the housework, ok buddy it must be you have the head sickness.
2. The state of the weather currently, tomorrow, and 2 weeks from now is of the utmost importance. Unless there is a tornado or a hurricane coming, let's all relax.
I know more about the weather in Atlanta than I do the weather here in Philly because my dad sends almost daily reports. Why are old people obsessed with weather?
2. The state of the weather currently, tomorrow, and 2 weeks from now is of the utmost importance. Unless there is a tornado or a hurricane coming, let's all relax.
I know more about the weather in Atlanta than I do the weather here in Philly because my dad sends almost daily reports. Why are old people obsessed with weather?
Can we all remember that when I mentioned this last fall, it devolved into, "At least you have a dad!!!!"
2. Â The state of the weather currently, tomorrow, and 2 weeks from now is of the utmost importance. Â Unless there is a tornado or a hurricane coming, let's all relax.
I know more about the weather in Atlanta than I do the weather here in Philly because my dad sends almost daily reports. Why are old people obsessed with weather?
My parents go to Florida for the winter and every time they call, they ask me about how horrible my weather is. They know my forecast up here more than I do. 'Did you get a lot of snow yesterday? I heard it was very cold'. What? Why are you reading my weather forecast or more accurately, discussing it with your friends in your retirement community? Too funny.
I know more about the weather in Atlanta than I do the weather here in Philly because my dad sends almost daily reports. Why are old people obsessed with weather?
Can we all remember that when I mentioned this last fall, it devolved into, "At least you have a dad!!!!"
LOL.
I forgot all about that. LOLOL
ETA: but really, you are a terrible person, tacosforlife, so that reaction is reasonable.
I'm no saint. I'm an asshole. They came to help after my surgery and I'm still complaining. But only in private to you guys. I hate hate hate needing people to help me with stuff.
OMG origami I could not stop laughing. I don't know which made me laugh hardest. Cinderella was rather memorable but I was laughing hard by then already. Sehvergnügen
I'm no saint. I'm an asshole. They came to help after my surgery and I'm still complaining. But only in private to you guys. I hate hate hate needing people to help me with stuff.
Six weeks is way too much time with anyone. You're not an asshole.
Post by orangeblossom on Jan 30, 2015 7:21:32 GMT -5
Six weeks? Have mercy.
My MIL is nice enough, but she gets on my nerves to the nth degree. My biggest isue with her these days, are her money requests, but more than that, suggesting that other family members ask us for money when they're in a bind. Um, no.
I know more about the weather in Atlanta than I do the weather here in Philly because my dad sends almost daily reports. Why are old people obsessed with weather?
My parents go to Florida for the winter and every time they call, they ask me about how horrible my weather is. They know my forecast up here more than I do. 'Did you get a lot of snow yesterday? I heard it was very cold'. What? Why are you reading my weather forecast or more accurately, discussing it with your friends in your retirement community? Too funny.
Everyone that moves South does that. It's like they need their decision proven right by the northern weather. I have a cousin who retired early several years ago and every winter he still posts beach pictures daily and cries crocodile tears at our blizzards.
2. The state of the weather currently, tomorrow, and 2 weeks from now is of the utmost importance. Unless there is a tornado or a hurricane coming, let's all relax.
I know more about the weather in Atlanta than I do the weather here in Philly because my dad sends almost daily reports. Why are old people obsessed with weather?
I texted my mom to update her, per her request, on my son's (minor) illness.
She replied "only one inch here but maybe more before morning."
Then she texted me again the next morning at like 6 "just that one inch. The wind is high today."
Post by EloiseWeenie on Jan 30, 2015 8:05:11 GMT -5
H's cousin is getting married in June. For the past year, MIL has said that the only vacation she wants is to travel (several states away) to her niece's wedding. SIL and her H (he has an incurable case of the raging assholes) decide they'll go visit ILs in July. MIL is happy, she plans to travel to the wedding (MIL is literally the most selfless woman I know, and NEVER talks about things she wants). THEN SIL's H decides NOPE, lets go visit them in June, the same time as the wedding. He refuses to change. H has texted his sister and pretty much said, "Why are you doing this the ONE time Mama said she wanted to do something?" SIL ignored the text, because she knows her H is an emotionally abusive asshole. SIL will be leaving Friday, and the wedding is Saturday. We are encouraging MIL to hop on a plane (she's never flown before), since it's too far to drive. The problem is FIL. He's very insecure about his weight, so I doubt he'll fly (he won't buy 2 seats for himself). Plus, he's practically immobile. So you think, oh, FIL can just stay home. Well, he can't care for himself. MIL does EVERYTHING. He can't even use the bathroom properly. So, if we encourage MIL to hop on a plane, do you hire a home health aid to care for him? I want her to go to this wedding. I'm really pissed at BIL for making this so hard for MIL, because if they didn't choose those dates she could have taken a couple days to drive with FIL to the middle of the damn country.
Oh, and BIL has told ILs that they can't come inside their home anymore. Because FIL can't use the bathroom properly (which is really frustrating because FIL gives no shits and doesn't clean up, but he also can't really help it) and because FIL broke a chair in the shitty hotel room they stayed in during their last visit. BIL doesn't want FIL to ruin any of his stuff. RAGE.
I know more about the weather in Atlanta than I do the weather here in Philly because my dad sends almost daily reports. Why are old people obsessed with weather?
I texted my mom to update her, per her request, on my son's (minor) illness.
She replied "only one inch here but maybe more before morning."
Then she texted me again the next morning at like 6 "just that one inch. The wind is high today."
Uhh, thanks for the news?
Yes! I send an email about something and get a weather report in response. The fuck?
I do think sandsonik may be onto something with this being typical of folks who head south after suffering through northern winters. That said, all the older folks in my northern neck of the woods talk about the weather constantly.
My dad set up email to deliver to his phone too. It whistles like a bird every time he gets a new message. And he's on like a billion old people distribution lists. All.day.long. And he's for real hard of hearing so he keeps it loud enough that he can hear it even if he doesn't have his hearing aids in.
I cannot get started on my in laws because I'm trying to move on from my annoyance this past fall and if I get started on little things (AN IPAD ISNT A FUCKING CAMERA), I might not be able to stop.
My dad set up email to deliver to his phone too. It whistles like a bird every time he gets a new message. And he's on like a billion old people distribution lists. All.day.long. And he's for real hard of hearing so he keeps it loud enough that he can hear it even if he doesn't have his hearing aids in.
Post by iammalcolmx on Jan 30, 2015 8:21:19 GMT -5
summer you have met my Inlaws. My biggest issue with them is that they pick places with only one bathroom when we take trips abroad. I stopped letting my MIL walk me everywhere and starve me on trips a few years ago.
Regarding my Mom she has finally gotten the hint that she is the worst house-guest EVER so she has suggested she stay in hotels when she visits Atlanta.
summer you have met my Inlaws. My biggest issue with them is that they pick places with only one bathroom when we take trips abroad. I stopped letting my MIL walk me everywhere and starve me on trips a few years ago.
Regarding my Mom she has finally gotten the hint that she is the worst house-guest EVER so she has suggested she stay in hotels when she visits Atlanta.
Tell me your secret!!!!! My mother will hang underwear and hose in plain view in the main bathroom and not even think twice how wrong that is. She's coming for 2wks when this kid is born. Someone heeeeeeeeeelllllpppp meeeee!
At our family reunion my generation all started talking around our parents and we all realized THEY ALL wake up at 5am and speak in normal voices. I went on and on about how awful it was. Next thing you know I got my Momma calling me saying next time she comes to Atlanta she is staying at the St Regis.