I can't stick to the budget I created for myself. Dh changed jobs and is making less (will for 4 years, then a big promotion). I did go back to work (but it's only 1 day a week when dh's mom is available to watch the kids). I am in charge of our total budget. Dh keeps suggesting things,just like going out to dinner, buying a gadget he 'needs', and I keep telling him we don't have money for it (which we don't). But I keep buying things for the kids and myself. Mostly it's Target clearance plus cartwheel stuff, so it's great deals that just can't pass up, but I seriously just spent $60 at Target when I told dh we didn't have $20 to order pizza.
Suck ti up butter cup!!!!
Tight budgets suck an I feel for you. But you have to stop looking at the "deals" and ask "do we need it?" Also - try to make room for fun money for you and dh. $20 a week each (if you can) and then only buy what you have the actual cash for. It's much easier to limit yourself if you know you can have it in a week. Try avoiding stores and when you do go...make a list and stick to it.
I know having a sick kid and unexpectedly missing work sucks. Â But I really think exposing other kids to potential pink eye sucks. Â Â
Generally I agree, but if it's a situation where you cannot miss work then what are you supposed to do? Lose your job, lose a day of pay, worse? It sucks and she said she didn't feel awesome about it, but it's not black and white sometimes.Â
And OMG am I white knighting?Â
I think part of being a working parent is finding alternative care. There is inevitably going to be a situation where a child is too ill for school and a parent can't take a sick day.
I know having a sick kid and unexpectedly missing work sucks. But I really think exposing other kids to potential pink eye sucks.
Generally I agree, but if it's a situation where you cannot miss work then what are you supposed to do? Lose your job, lose a day of pay, worse? It sucks and she said she didn't feel awesome about it, but it's not black and white sometimes.
And OMG am I white knighting?
But instead she exposed all the other kids and now those parents may have to miss work. And yes, you or DH either miss work or you get sitter. I seriously do not know of any companies that will fire someone for taking sick days for their kids unless you taje advantage of them. You talk to your boss and explain the situation. You offer to work another day (weekend, day off whatever), you go in late or leave early and make up the time. You switch shifts with someone if that is the type of job you have.
DH & I have a system. We alternate sick days so we are not always relying on one person for the sick duties.
I am not saying there is not a time when you have absolutely used as much time as you are allowed but I do think these cases are rare. And then it's time for the spouse to step up.
Post by justbecause on Jan 30, 2015 12:37:21 GMT -5
Never been to a Sonic. A take out lunch sounds pretty fantastic though. Snowing hard here and my oldest is sick. He has to miss his pajama party at school tonight so he's sad. My youngest refuses to nap. So they are watching Thomas so I can have a second to get things done.
Budgets are hard. We had to cut ours when DH lost his overtime. Bundling insurance helped save money as well as better meal planning and consignment for some of the kids clothes.
I would like to point out that pink eye has an incubation period and it is probably more likely that someone would get it before she even knew about it. They were 21+ hours into the drops already.
Generally I agree, but if it's a situation where you cannot miss work then what are you supposed to do? Lose your job, lose a day of pay, worse? It sucks and she said she didn't feel awesome about it, but it's not black and white sometimes.Â
And OMG am I white knighting?Â
But instead she exposed all the other kids and now those parents may have to miss work. Â Â And yes, you or DH either miss work or you get sitter. I seriously do not know of any companies that will fire someone for taking sick days for their kids unless you taje advantage of them. Â You talk to your boss and explain the situation. You offer to work another day (weekend, day off whatever), you go in late or leave early and make up the time. Â You switch shifts with someone if that is the type of job you have. Â Â
DH & I have a system. We alternate sick days so we are not always relying on one person for the sick duties.Â
I am not saying there is not a time when you have absolutely used as much time as you are allowed but I do think these cases are rare. And then it's time for the spouse to step up. Â Â
In my defense he had been on eye drops for 20 hours already. If he had woken up with a raging, goopy, crusted together infection I would not have sent him. But it was just a tiny bit of drainage in each eye. I texted his teacher and asked if it they were drainING or had gotten worse and she said no. Plus, I don't even know if it's an actual contagious case of pink eye or just an eye infection from something else.
I do feel bad about it because I pushed the limits, but I am really hoping/thinking he is not contagious and it's ok.
I would like to point out that pink eye has an incubation period and it is probably more likely that someone would get it before she even knew about it. They were 21+ hours into the drops already.
But he had drainage. If he didn't have any drainage, I may not be view this the same way.
I think it sucks. I don't send my kids to school/daycare sick and never have. Yes, it is frustrating to sit home with the stress of missing work. But that's the downside to parenting.
Generally I agree, but if it's a situation where you cannot miss work then what are you supposed to do? Lose your job, lose a day of pay, worse? It sucks and she said she didn't feel awesome about it, but it's not black and white sometimes.
And OMG am I white knighting?
I think part of being a working parent is finding alternative care. There is inevitably going to be a situation where a child is too ill for school and a parent can't take a sick day.
So are you volunteering to take someone's sick kid just because you stay at home and someone else can't? My parents refuse to watch sick kids and I doubt I can find a nanny willing to come at the drop of a hat 3 times a year.
I would like to point out that pink eye has an incubation period and it is probably more likely that someone would get it before she even knew about it. They were 21+ hours into the drops already.
Per the handout from my doctor I got less than two weeks ago when there's discharge the child is contagious and should be kept out of school for 48 hours.
I think part of being a working parent is finding alternative care. There is inevitably going to be a situation where a child is too ill for school and a parent can't take a sick day.
So are you volunteering to take someone's sick kid just because you stay at home and someone else can't? My parents refuse to watch sick kids and I doubt I can find a nanny willing to come at the drop of a hat 3 times a year.
I have kept kids of friends that are working moms, yes. You can also hire a sitter for backup care. Care.com is full of profiles.
I would like to point out that pink eye has an incubation period and it is probably more likely that someone would get it before she even knew about it. They were 21+ hours into the drops already.
Per the handout from my doctor I got less than two weeks ago when there's discharge the child is contagious and should be kept out of school for 48 hours.
Interesting. Our pedi said they could go back to school 24 hours after starting the drops.
So are you volunteering to take someone's sick kid just because you stay at home and someone else can't? My parents refuse to watch sick kids and I doubt I can find a nanny willing to come at the drop of a hat 3 times a year.
I have kept kids of friends that are working moms, yes. You can also hire a sitter for backup care. Care.com is full of profiles.
It's nice to see you having compassion for people whose situation is different than yours
Post by dizzycooks on Jan 30, 2015 13:06:01 GMT -5
I'm also going to say that while daycare doesn't allow kids back until they are on drops 24hrs, our schools do not consider pink eye an excused absence. You are to be at school with or without drops. The same goes for me, my eyes are goopy and gross is not considered a thing to stay home over. We also don't require kids stay home if they have lice. It's a lovely policy really. /sarcasm
Okay so what you're saying is that just because she's a working mom she should have oodles of back up care on hand and should find someone on care.com? Please. This is not black and white.
I think it's great, KC, that you would help out a friend with a sick kid and expose your own kids to whatever virus or illness the sick kid has.
This still bothers me less than the mom who sent her son (who sits next to my son) to school with a fever and red swollen throat for TWO DAYS and then invited the entire class to his birthday party BEFORE she took him to the doctor. That was how my kid had strep for the first week of winter break.
I have kept kids of friends that are working moms, yes. You can also hire a sitter for backup care. Care.com is full of profiles.
It's nice to see you having compassion for people whose situation is different than yours
I'm not saying I can't see that it could be challenging for some. It's about being prepared for the inevitable. I think we had this discussion about a million times on the old board and it was considered the responsible thing to do to have a plan b, no?
It's nice to see you having compassion for people whose situation is different than yours
I'm not saying I can't see that it could be challenging for some. It's about being prepared for the inevitable. I think we had this discussion about a million times on the old board and it was considered the responsible thing to do to have a plan b, no?
Do you know difficult it can be though to get a last minute sitter in the middle of the day? Someone you might need maybe once or twice a year?
Post by Kcthepouchh8r on Jan 30, 2015 13:17:59 GMT -5
So in everyone's book it's ok to send a kid who feels terrible to school if mom has to work? Not talking about pink eye anymore just making a general statement. Say the kid has strep. Isn't it unfair to the other kids never mind the kid that's sick? What if there's a kid that's medically fragile in the class? They should get terribly ill every time mom has an important task she can't miss at work? What?
It's nice to see you having compassion for people whose situation is different than yours
I'm not saying I can't see that it could be challenging for some. It's about being prepared for the inevitable. I think we had this discussion about a million times on the old board and it was considered the responsible thing to do to have a plan b, no?
I tend to agree with this.
Sickness is going to happen. You have to have a back up plan. If you don't have family to take the kids then you need to have another plan in place. And yeah, I get it's not always black and white but sending a possibly contagious kid to a place full of other kids is just going to put the other kids' parents in the same situation. That's how illness spreads.
And I'm not particularly talking about beantrees. I don't really know how I feel about pink eye. I've never had it and have no experience with it so if kiddo wasn't contagious and teacher okayed it, I don't necessarily think that's irresponsible.
I know parents who think it's nbd to send a kid to school even if he had a fever 12 hours ago or puked or w/e and then he ends up sharing the bug and the cycle continues.
ok, I can't let this go...so according to the majority, beans had to do what she had to do because she didn't have alternate care. Remember it's only January and she works PT in a flexible job (if I remember that correctly)
Now what happens when one of her kids gets sick again? Vomiting, diarrhea, or high fever, etc.
Post by penguingrrl on Jan 30, 2015 13:19:58 GMT -5
Even when you have normally reliable backup care sometimes things fall through. The night before the election Julia got sent home from aftercare due to a fever and therefore wasn't allowed to go to school or aftercare the next day. H had midterms scheduled for his students that day, so missing work was a big deal, but as a campaign worker I couldn't stay home either.
So we called my ILs first. Except that SIL had just had surgery and still couldn't drive. MIL was going back to work that day having exhausted her days off. FIL is retired and would have come except he was out helping SIL since she couldn't function. My mom was our next try but she had a ton of meetings that she couldn't reschedule.
DH ended up moving his exams and staying home, but it wasn't an easy decision to make. And that is with 3 parents who have flexible schedules and only live 90 minutes away.
Per the handout from my doctor I got less than two weeks ago when there's discharge the child is contagious and should be kept out of school for 48 hours.
Interesting. Our pedi said they could go back to school 24 hours after starting the drops.
I'm not saying I can't see that it could be challenging for some. It's about being prepared for the inevitable. I think we had this discussion about a million times on the old board and it was considered the responsible thing to do to have a plan b, no?
Do you know difficult it can be though to get a last minute sitter in the middle of the day? Someone you might need maybe once or twice a year?
That's the life of being a parent. You HAVE to have a plan. Like I said, whether it is spouses switching off, working different hours to make up the time, using a vacation day, you communicate with your boss and make it work. No one is going to fire you for that and if they do...you really need a new job anyway.
ok, I can't let this go...so according to the majority, beans had to do what she had to do because she didn't have alternate care. Remember it's only January and she works PT in a flexible job (if I remember that correctly)
Now what happens when one of her kids gets sick again? Vomiting, diarrhea, or high fever, etc.
Ok see this same thing happened two weeks ago. He vomited once in the middle of the night and once at 5 am. He was "fine" for the rest of the day, but I stayed home with him bc I didn't want to expose any other kids just in case. Staying home that day was part of the reason I had to go in today. This particular situation today didn't seem as bad, which is why I still sent him.
I'm arguing for the mom whose kid is like 98% better with no other options as in this case.
Now if she sent a kid to school with a 103 fever and was shitting himself Id be team CJ here.
This is different.
No matter the scenario a working parent should have back up plan. This time might only be possibly contagious pink eye but next time might be the shits with a 103 fever.