Post by amandaseghs on Jan 30, 2015 16:35:44 GMT -5
So I have been caring for my friends son for the past 6 months or so. This is actually my second go round with them. He left the first time because her other friend lived closer and it was easier for daddy to pick up. But he only made it there about 3 weeks before he was told not to come back because of his biting issues. Here are a couple of things just from this past week:
1. Supposed to get paid on Monday....didn't get paid until Wednesday. 2. Texted one morning said they would be early. ( which would be around 7:30 didn't show up until 8:15) 3. She gives him Miralax and then I deal with the 7+ diaper changes a day with runny poop. Then had the nerve to ask me to give him a bath because daddy skips giving him a bath. (doesn't need Miralax anyway he poops but sometimes strains) 4. I already meet dad twice a week about 20 minutes closer to him. Well dad couldn't meet me so she wanted me to meet her not even 6 minutes up the road. Why should I have to get car ready to drive 5 minutes away, load him up, then unload him. 5. Called again today wanting me to meet dad 20 minutes away because she was working late.
All this plus she bring him in his pj's everyday so then I have to get him dressed. Sometimes no socks so then I have to use my son's socks on him. In the summer I put my son's clothes on him and I never get anything back. I understand babies will wear their pj's but this child is almost 2 years old.
Previous things: Texted one morning at 5:00AM to tell me she was on her way (not supposed to be dropped off until 8:00am) Supposed to be picked up at 6:00 she would show up anywhere from 6:00-7:00 always blamed traffic why she was a hour late Never a set drop off time. Says 8:00 but sometimes it might be 10:00am. Breakfast time is 8:30 and if she drops him off later then I am still expected to make him breakfast. Milk- typically gets 2 cups a day at my house. Now she will come in and say he needs milk in the morning and then she wants me to give him milk for the ride home. So now its up to 4 cups a day. When milk is almost $4+ a gal that adds up. Also with snacks-Always wants one for the road.
Seems like I have him 50+ hours a week. At first I charged $125 a week but I told her when he come back it would be $140. Also during Christmas he wasn't here a week and she didn't pay. Yes I have a contract but she never goes by it. Like being picked up after 6 I added a few, she has never paid it. Also paying late there is a fee, she has never paid it.
Am I being to nice or is this just normal behavior?
We use a licensed in home daycare. She has a handbook that outlines all of this. She charges $1/minute if you are late, can't drop off early without making prior arrangements. Kids have to come in clothes every day, with socks and shoes. You have to bring socks even if the kid is in sandals. Pay every week except one per year. Have to pay by the Friday before care starts or she won't take your kid on Monday. No pay no care period.
You say she isn't going by the contract, but it doesn't sound like you are enforcing it either.
First, you cannot care for a child that is on LAXATIVES. No fucken way. It's not even safe for children and if they have to be given then that's a sick day. Holy shit! Tell her absolutely not without a doctor's note.
Second, if you plan on continuing this work arrangement you need to set boundaries. Your doors open at XX:00 and not one minute sooner. If she is late picking him up tell her you plan on charging her $5 per increment of 15 minutes. Set up automatic bill pay. All drop offs/pick ups are at your location.
Do not let her take advantage of you any longer. I assume you have other children that have to be buckled into the car when she wants to meet all over town? No way.
Post by asoctoberfalls on Jan 30, 2015 16:43:56 GMT -5
Some of these are minor, like the Miralax and bringing him in his pajamas (who cares? Just leave him in them). But pretty much everything else is ridiculous, like asking you to drop him off places and bathe him. I would just tell her you can no longer watch him.
I hope by writing this all out, you realized how poorly she is treating you and that you should not be tolerating it. I would give her two weeks' notice effective immediately.
Post by dancingirl21 on Jan 30, 2015 16:45:15 GMT -5
They would never get away with this if you weren't a friend. I'd just tell them you are no longer able to care for their son. Or if you still want to, you need to enforce your contract and stick to it.
That's crazy. Yes, you are being taken advantage of. I don't think she's going to magically change though- you've been letting her get away with murder for a long time! Is it really worth $140/week?
I'm an inhome DCP. Any one of those things would cause me to terminate that kid from care. All of them together? Oh honey, no. Man up, tell her she's cut, and find someone else who will actually follow the rules.
Watching friends kids never seems to work out. I think it's way too easy to be taken advantage of.
I'd tell her you no longer will be able to care for him. If you want to watch kids in your home have it be someone you don't know and can have a strictly professional relationship with and a detailed contract to protect the both of you.
If you want to give a notice of some sort like you won't be able to watch him after 2/15 or whatever I'd demand payment in advance. She sounds like she'd never pay you for the last weeks of care. You dont open your door unless that day of care has been paid.
Yeah, I don't think it was just the biting issue that the kid lasted only 3 weeks at the last place.
if, IF, you want to try and work this out, I would lay out all the issues and have a firm pick up time. Charge for being late. And YOU going to THEM? That stops IMMEDIATELY.
Clothes? SHe needs to start supplying a change of clothes or her child will stay in his PJs all day.
Milk? Tell her that your fee is now ___ a week in order to cover the additional cost of the milk.
And I'd tell her that if these rules are not followed, you will give her one weeks notice to find new care.
BUt if you just want to quit now, then feel free to do so! I wouldn't blame you because I really don't know that she'll change her ways.
I hope by writing this all out, you realized how poorly she is treating you and that you should not be tolerating it. I would give her two weeks' notice effective immediately.
Oh my!!! YES writing this out made me realize how BIG of a DOOR MAT I am being. Thank you for all opinions and sometimes it helps to get a outsiders opinion.
This is absolutely ridiculous for such little pay. I would probably tell her you can no longer watch her kid because of repetitive behavior of taking advantage of you.
I pay my aunt the same amount the watch my son 3 hours/day. She doesn't have to feed, change diapers unless he poops, and I provide an afternoon snack while her kids eat.
This is nuts my inhome would never put up with this. The only thing she doesn't care about is socks or kids in pjs. The rest of those requests, we'd be gone tomorrow.
Post by imojoebunny on Jan 30, 2015 20:51:28 GMT -5
You are almost cheaper than my kids 12 hour a week nursery school was. I don't know anyone who has anything even remotely like the deal you are giving this flake. $2k a month for the level of care you are providing is about the minimum.
1- They can't come back until you are paid for Christmas week 2- You are no longer transporting the child, effective immediately 3- Your rates are doubling as of Feb 16th, and 4- Hours are set and extended time requires extra payments, due within 24 hours
Post by speckledfrog on Jan 30, 2015 22:02:35 GMT -5
This is not a friend. If you cannot talk to her about the fact that you are overwhelmed and need to make some changes then just cut her loose completely. She is doing this because you let her and because she's jerkfaced user.