I did an elective induction with DD and will probably do so again. This will allow my stepmom to get here to watch DD. All family is a 4-5 hour drive from us. She and my dad stayed the first few days last time and I hated it because they didn't help do anything other than hold the baby. Hopefully my dad won't come and stepmom can help with DD.
Post by centralsquare on Feb 20, 2015 18:35:19 GMT -5
My folks are coming up for two weeks, but not until 3 weeks after my due date. DH has three weeks of paternity leave, so as hard as it was to ask them to wait, my parents will be far more helpful to me when he isn't around. Plus we get to figure stuff out on our own in those first few weeks, rather than hosting or getting unsolicited advice in the moment.
Post by nextbigthing on Feb 21, 2015 5:48:41 GMT -5
My parents are 10 minutes away so that's easy and my mom will be very helpful
My in laws are a 3 hour drive plus 3 hour plane ride away but once I had to schedule the c section, they are flying in today and staying in a hotel. I figured they'd wait a bit, but it's totally fine, they're very nice and I love how excited they are about the baby.
My sister is driving up (3 hours) next weekend, she will stay w my parents
Post by 5kcandlesinthewind on Feb 22, 2015 10:14:33 GMT -5
We have a small house and our families live fairly close - my ILs are 45 minutes away, my mom an hour and a half. She will likely want to stay, but since there's nowhere for her to sleep, she'll have to stay at a hotel if she wants to stay for more than a few hours at a time. I do expect a fight, though. She'll definitely want to be "helpful", but her version of help makes me cuckoo-bananas crazypants on a good day, so I can't have it postpartum. My brother & sister-in-law will likely come up here and there for visits, (they live about an hour or so away), and my husband's sister lives in PA and has made plans to come visit late in July, about a month after the baby's born.
DH and I talked about this months ago, and I made it really clear that I would absolutely not be up for hosting overnight guests in our apartment after #2 arrives. Realistically, I could probably handle my mother or Brother/SIL (but it wouldn't be a particularly comfy stay for them), but didn't want to be a jerk and single out my ILs, so just said no overnight guests.
When we had O, we were local to family and I found my ILs to be SUPER overbearing and annoying. They wanted to visit way more often/longer duration than what I liked, and they are the type to think that helping = holding my newborn.
I ended up having DH tell them that they are welcome to visit, but need to find their own place to stay and shouldn't expect to hang around our 550 sq ft apartment all day. My hope is that they don't come and we can just go visit them (but stay elsewhere) when we're ready.
Let me know if/when you'd like me to bring you lunch!
Post by hainesherway on Feb 25, 2015 13:49:44 GMT -5
My dad and bro/SIL live about 1.5 hours away, and DH's family lives just across the border in Canada. They will probably come visit but not spend the night unless I ask them to. If I have to have a C-section I will likely be more willing to accept help, especially if DH can't get time off work.
Our families both live across the country. None of them are particularly helpful and I knew if they visited I would be "hosting" - planning and making meals, cleaning up, and entertaining them. So we told them if they wanted to visit after the baby was born that would be great but we wouldn't be up to having overnight guests for the first 6 weeks so they would have to get a hotel room.
They waited and came at 6 and 8 weeks respectively. By then I had a much better handle on everything and we had nice, enjoyable visits. I was an emotional mess and a zombie for the first month or so and really wasn't up to much in terms of visits, not even from family. If they were local, short visits would have been ok.
This is the fourth baby, but the first one that will be born away from family and in a different state. We are in Florida and our families are in Texas. The only person that might be here around delivery is my mom.
Unfortunately our families probably won't see the baby till Christmas, but I think I will welcome the fact that no one will see me after delivery. It's always been so awkward when I'm a mess. I get bad after pains and horrible gas. I have to sit there and hold it, or I'm exhausted and all I want to do is doze off. A lot of my visitors (talking like an hour after birth) have been my brother in laws or DH's closest guy friends.
Post by gretchenwieners on Feb 26, 2015 12:20:43 GMT -5
I had my DS in November and our families are 8 and 11 hours away. My mom started driving when I went into labor and then a couple of aunts came shortly after that. My FIL also started driving the day I went into labor. I was very clear that I was not going to entertain anyone and that we didn't have enough space for everyone to stay there (except my mom because she was there to help me, not just visit with the baby). Everyone pretty much came for a couple of days and left before I was out of the hospital. It all worked out really well!