Start MDO now or wait? *UPDATE in OP*

[Deleted]

DS turns 3 in a week, he's not currently in any type of school program. We had intended to put him in preschool before DD is born on 3/16. But due to illness and other timing issues, we haven't done that yet. We DID enroll him in preschool, it starts in September. We had planned on doing a MDO program to fill the gap between now and Sept. But now I'm wondering if that's a good idea. Would starting MDO literally 2-3 weeks before the baby is born result in DS bringing home a bunch of sickness to the baby? I certainly don't want a newborn and a sick toddler! But getting DS out of the house so I can nurse DD is also appealing. Should I send him to MDO or just wait until he starts real preschool in the fall, when DD will have had some vaccinations?


*UPDATE 2/26*
DS had his 3-year well visit today. I asked the pedi about sending DS to the MDO program so close to DD's birth. He said "when DS starts school, he, you and DH will be THE SICKEST you've ever been. It will be constant. So if I had my druthers, I would not send DS so close to DD's birth." He also said he prefers, if possible, to have older children stay home with the new baby, so the whole family bonds together. So DS will be staying home with me for at least the first several months after DD's birth, maybe all the way to September when he starts real preschool. The pedi did say that the MDO program was a great program, very nurturing, and that the preschool we chose was the best preschool in the area with a wonderful director. So I'm glad to hear that DH and my's research paid off! It's always nice to hear a second opinion.

Along the same lines, the pedi said that of course parents send their kids to MDO or preschool to learn socialization skills, like sharing, taking directions, and being polite. He said DS already has those skills "in spades." So there wasn't a need to send him to school right now to learn those things, because he already has those skills. I am very proud  (heart)

[ilikedonuts]

I would not want my kid to start a program unless absolutely necessary like that right when I'm bringing home a newborn. If he had already been in it for months I'd feel differently. Kids often get really sick the first couple months of daycare/school.

[curbsideprophet]

Feb 21, 2015 8:22:09 GMT -5 ilikedonuts said:

I would not want my kid to start a program unless absolutely necessary like that right when I'm bringing home a newborn. If he had already been in it for months I'd feel differently. Kids often get really sick the first couple months of daycare/school.

I agree with this.

[minzy]

That's a tough call... the time away could be really good for him and you, especially with a new kid in the mix.  I don't regret doing it on the whole, but DD1 started school a month before DD2 was born, and DD2 had her first cold at 3 weeks.   :?

[Deleted]

I'd send him. You'll need the break. He'll love the interaction with other kids. You'll be less stressed. He might be less jealous because he has something of his own.

The sickness thing does suck a but my DD has never given DS anything she caught at school/daycare. More like the other way around. DD seems to catch everything now that DS is around. I'd also take my chances, spring is on the horizon and some of this icky will be going away soon.

[Deleted]

Feb 21, 2015 8:23:26 GMT -5 namasteak said:

A lot of the MDO programs near me run on the local school districts schedule. So if yours are the same that means he would only been in MDO for a few months and then on "summer break" before starting preschool. IMO I wouldn't want to deal with all of those transitions.

That's a good thought! I'll call and ask the MDO program about that.

[Deleted]

Feb 21, 2015 8:22:09 GMT -5 ilikedonuts said:

I would not want my kid to start a program unless absolutely necessary like that right when I'm bringing home a newborn. If he had already been in it for months I'd feel differently. Kids often get really sick the first couple months of daycare/school.

Yeah we had planned on starting MDO in January. But he was sick, then DH was sick, then DH traveled (i.e., I was too lazy to tour the place alone) then DS got sick AGAIN and voila it was somehow late February.

[redheadk]

If he hasn't been in anything until now, I would not start with a new baby in the house. It takes a bit for them to acclimate to the germs. It's not big deal for him but I think you are right to be concerned about him bringing all those germs home to a new baby and they are more likely to spread if he is actively sick.

[Deleted]

I'd send him, but I guess I've never had any luck trying to isolate my kids to keep them well. DS managed to get most of his nastiest illnesses from friends, not daycare/school.

[Deleted]

Feb 21, 2015 9:54:06 GMT -5 @tokenhoser said:

I'd send him, but I guess I've never had any luck trying to isolate my kids to keep them well. DS managed to get most of his nastiest illnesses from friends, not daycare/school.

DS gets sick every time we have a group play date. The last two sickness were from the bounce house place, and little gym-type place. I still go, because I obviously don't want him to live in a bubble. But geez I'm tired of sick toddlers.

[Deleted]

Feb 21, 2015 11:36:12 GMT -5 TamiTaylor said:

Can you get him in mid year? We cannot here. You signup each Feb for the following fall but it's rather cutthroat here.

Yes. I spoke to the MDO manager a few weeks ago, and she said she had open spots and kids can start anytime.

[thebreakfastclub]

My kid has been in daycare almost 2 years and has been sick maybe 5 times. So I would send him.

[undecidedowl]

A little different, but I had the choice to not pay daycare during ML and keep DS1 at home or pay to keep sending him. He gets sick from daycare all the time so I was torn about having him go during cold and flu season with a newborn at home but I ended up sending him. It worked out really well for us, but I imagine it could go either way. DS1 got sick twice during my leave and DS2 didn't get it either time. Now, DS2 is in daycare anyway so it doesn't matter anymore because he gets all the germs himself (he is on his second cold already.)

[barefootcontessa]

I would find that too much work for what it is worth. Around here the programs are for like 2.5 hours and when you factor in getting two children dressed to go out in the winter, driving there, going in to drop off, then having to bundle up the baby again, drive back, go in to pick-up, just not enough benefit for me. Plus, the germ factor.  Plus, dealing with potential adjustment issues while being sleep deprived. 

[lilac05]

Feb 21, 2015 12:36:16 GMT -5 barefootcontessa said:

I would find that too much work for what it is worth. Around here the programs are for like 2.5 hours and when you factor in getting two children dressed to go out in the winter, driving there, going in to drop off, then having to bundle up the baby again, drive back, go in to pick-up, just not enough benefit for me. Plus, the germ factor.  Plus, dealing with potential adjustment issues while being sleep deprived. 

I chose not to, for almost exactly these reasons.  I didn't think much about the germs, probably because it was August & not cold/flu season.

I didn't want to add something I HAD to do to my schedule that was about to get crazy.  No one NEEDED to be dressed, fed, and out the door at a certain time.  Plus, new babies eat all the time...I figured it'd never fall into place perfectly.

I'm happy with our decision.  It worked for us.

[Deleted]

Feb 21, 2015 12:24:25 GMT -5 @starry said:

100% anecdotal but I just feel like some kids are healthier than others regardless of daycare / MDO / etc. I imagine SAH helps them stay incrementally more well but I doubt it's a huge difference.

I have been a lucky one with regards to my child not getting very sick. I think we've had her out about four times in 2.5 years (although two times were for four days)

Our pedi says DS gets sick less than most of the kids he sees. But this winter has been BRUTAL. Since Christmas, he's been sick more often than not. He was sick 3 weeks straight in January, well for a week, then another cold that lasted 5ish days, well for a few days and now out of the blue today he's coughing and retracting. I haven't even taken him anywhere to catch any illness this last time!

[Deleted]

Feb 21, 2015 12:36:16 GMT -5 barefootcontessa said:

I would find that too much work for what it is worth. Around here the programs are for like 2.5 hours and when you factor in getting two children dressed to go out in the winter, driving there, going in to drop off, then having to bundle up the baby again, drive back, go in to pick-up, just not enough benefit for me. Plus, the germ factor.  Plus, dealing with potential adjustment issues while being sleep deprived. 

Right, the MDO goes from roughly 9-12, I would send him probably 2 days a week. DH would pickup and drop off the 2 weeks he's on paternity leave, and I'd do it after that. So by then it would be late March, so hopefully not that cold anymore.

He is ready for school though. He often flings a dish towel over his shoulder and says "dis my backpack, I go dah school mommy."

[Deleted]

Feb 21, 2015 12:17:19 GMT -5 TamiTaylor said:

Feb 21, 2015 11:49:55 GMT -5 @supergreen said:

Yes. I spoke to the MDO manager a few weeks ago, and she said she had open spots and kids can start anytime.

Well it's kind of a a Catch 22 situation then. You can send him running the risk of getting sick but you have just one on one time with the baby. Or you keep him and avoid bringing sickness into the house. That's a hard choice. Do you think he will get sick a lot? Does this run through the summer or just until school ends? Both change my answer.

Exactly. That's why I'm having such a hard time deciding what to do, for the exact reasons you describe. I believe the MDO program runs year-round. If I send him, he would go from now to this September, when his true preschool starts.

I do think he's get sick, since he almost always gets sick from group play dates. But the amount of sickness is worse in the winter and better in the summer KWIM. I'm also wary of the illnesses he's never had before that you guys talk about from daycare, like pink eye and HFM. He's never had those. Plenty of RSV, pneumonia, and bronchitis though!

[loskadoodle]

I would def put him in. You will need some time alone with the baby and he will need to get his energy out.

[leonard131]

I would send him. Gets him out of house and interacting with kids and gives you a break. With a newborn it may be hard to get to play dates and other stuff .

[Ashley&Scott]

Feb 21, 2015 15:12:34 GMT -5 leonard131 said:

I would send him. Gets him out of house and interacting with kids and gives you a break. With a newborn it may be hard to get to play dates and other stuff .

I agree. Plus from his comments it sounds like he really wants to go. I also agree about sending him sooner rather than later so he can settle into the routine before the baby is born. If he just has a cold I think it's fine. If it's a fever then you'll have to wait until that's gone.

[carolinagirl831]

I'm starting dd in mdo 3 mornings a week in March it will give us 2 months before dd 2 is here to get used to germs. When dd 2 is born it will be end of April and over flu season. I do not want dd 1 home with me all day while I'm on maternity leave ! I want time with the newborn alone and I think it will help dd a lot to get out with other kids

[Deleted]

Feb 21, 2015 17:37:36 GMT -5 Ashley&Scott said:

Feb 21, 2015 15:12:34 GMT -5 leonard131 said:

I would send him. Gets him out of house and interacting with kids and gives you a break. With a newborn it may be hard to get to play dates and other stuff .

I agree. Plus from his comments it sounds like he really wants to go. I also agree about sending him sooner rather than later so he can settle into the routine before the baby is born. If he just has a cold I think it's fine. If it's a fever then you'll have to wait until that's gone.

Right now I think he's got croup Coughing, wheezing, retracting.

[Deleted]

Bump. Update in OP.

[Deleted]

When he wakes the baby up from her nap *again* and you're losing your mind, I'm 100% reminding you how they're sibling bonding.

[Deleted]

Just wanted to address your update and let you know that DD (almost 3) started MDO 3.5 weeks ago and hasn't gotten sick at all yet... Maybe it hasn't been long enough? But we're all healthy!
I still like the idea of waiting because that's a lot of change but I didn't want you to over worry about the sick thing

[Deleted]

Feb 27, 2015 0:55:43 GMT -5 @kar said:

You'll all probably get through any illnesses fairly quickly and will all bond fine no matter what route you take.

I'm not sure if you saw my post from a few days ago, but DS is sick so frequently and so virulently that my pedi has ordered an immune workup to see if his immune system is functioning properly So he doesn't get through illnesses "fairly quickly." Hence my pedi's over-abundance of caution.

[Deleted]

Feb 26, 2015 22:59:57 GMT -5 @tokenhoser said:

When he wakes the baby up from her nap *again* and you're losing your mind, I'm 100% reminding you how they're sibling bonding.

LOL I bet your right

[anna7602]

Feb 21, 2015 9:54:06 GMT -5 @tokenhoser said:

I'd send him, but I guess I've never had any luck trying to isolate my kids to keep them well. DS managed to get most of his nastiest illnesses from friends, not daycare/school.

I feel this way, too, although I already saw the OP's update. I really hope the pedi was just responding to what he was already hearing you say. Because it would be douchey to make a recommendation like that to a mom who either truly had no choice about the school thing or who would greatly benefit from a mental health perspective to just focus on the baby when possible. Sending a kid to school, IMO, is not going to negatively impact bonding.

[flgirl]

I think you have a very interesting pediatrician and he and I would get along well. I wouldn't be up for the amount of work and planning to get to MDO. After the babies were born, I liked just bring at home with all of them.