Anyone live really close to their parents or inlaws?

[grover]

We were planning on looking for a new place this summer, but the one two doors down from MIL and FIL is about to go up for sale. It's everything we were looking for, just not sure if that is too close.

We'd be able to stop paying a dog walker though because they'd run down to let them out or just take them to their house during the day. She also runs a daycare out of the house, so whenever I finally get knocked up, we'd have free daycare super close by. She mentioned today while we were discussing at lunch that maybe we can do dinner once a week (which we do anyway now during spring/summer/fall).

So, so far it all seems reasonable, just trying to figure out if I'm missing anything. It's got great schools, house online seems like it meets our needs (huge backyard for the two labs, 4 beds, 2.5 bath, ranch style, 2 car garage, close to train, some restaurants/grocery store and library) and the price is right.

[krystee]

How much do you like them?

We were going to rent a house one street over from my parents' house, and we were both fine with that. H says we can live super close, but not immediately next door. I'm not sure how he'd feel about two doors down.

[grover]

Originally, our relator five years ago offered to show us condos on the same street as them. H nixed that idea. Today he said he nixed it because those condos have always been run down, not because we're that close.

I think we'd be able to have frank conversations about boundaries if it came down to it. On the same note, I think FIL would be happy that we'd be there in case of emergency as he's out of town a lot. But really, they're bigger homebodies than we are.

[krystee]

As long as they are not busybodies and you have some clear boundaries in place, I would do it. For example, they'll call before just stopping by. And neither one of you should overly take advantage of the closeness (e.g., constantly coming home late because family can take care of the pets if needed). I can see my brother (who lives at home with my parents) never coming home on time if he knew I lived next door and could let their dog out!

With the right family, living that close could be really nice! We lived in a condo upstairs from my grandparents' house when I was a baby and toddler, and I apparently loved it (and so did my parents, who could send me downstairs anytime!).

[Deleted]

The house and neighborhood sound great! We live 20 mins from my parents and 40 mins from the in-laws.

I second what krystee said - it all comes down to how much you like them and how well you think they will respect your boundaries. Calling before coming over would be important to me. I definitely wouldn't want them dropping by constantly. As long as you get along well with your in-laws, it could be a convenient arrangement for you both.

[bk1]

I get it. Right now we are about 15 minutes from my mom, and in the opposite direction 15 mind from the in laws.

DH and I are currently trying to talk my mom into buying the house next door. It will be up for sale soon. But she likes her privacy and so do we so we don't think any of us would intrude too much. Plus right now my mom has been coming over 3-4 days a week to help with G so it would be even more convenient.

[bk1]

Plus that house has a huge shop out back and she said she would give it to DH if she bought the house. Score!

[jena]

My MIL lives with us about 3-4 months a year, so yeah, 2 doors down seems fine. My dad is looking to move closer to me and I tried to get him to buy a house on my block.

Free babysitter and no driving, what's not to love? Lol.

Honestly I think that if you're even considering it, it will be OK. If your gut screams hell no, then it won't.

[sarahsas]

I do. We live really close to my parents and my ILs. Not like next door but within 2 miles. I love it. It's easy to pop by, drop something off, go visit etc. And both sets have BOUNDARIES. Wouldn't come without calling first, would NEVER come in our house without permission (they have keys). But in an emergency can help.. and when I go into labor, my BIL can come right over to take care of pets without a problem.. and they all can wait on me hand and foot As long as you have respectful boundaries, I don't see a problem. It's still your house

[googly]

Lurker here who built a house across the street from my in-laws. We've been here for a few years and love it. They are fairly private people to begin with so there has been no boundary issues. My mother in law is a fabulous cook so we are always getting some type of goody delivered. Plus when we need a babysitter we don't have to go far.

[HoneySpider]

I love my parents and my MIL but 2 doors down is a little close for me. I wouldn't even be worried about them coming over unannounced or anything....I would just feel like I didn't have my own space. Being that close means you know a lot about what's going on in each other's business. Not that I'm doing anything shady at my house that I need to hide, I just really like having a space that's my own. I would like to be closer to our parents just not that close.

Sounds like a lot of really good positives for you though. You'll have to let us know if you like the house once you see it!

[pooh8402]

I probably couldn't do it. My parents would be fine, they have boundaries, but I would have to have a serious CTJ talk with my ILs about boundaries and privacy before I would do it. DH agrees with me on this. We've considered buying in their neighborhood before and have considered living down the road from them.

[travelbug]

We live 6 hours from my family as of right now and it's horrible. I would move closer in a heart beat. They would be very respectful of our privacy and I don't think would come over un-announced. I know we would have weekly get together's which would be so nice. I don't think I'd enjoy being in the same neighborhood, but in a bordering one I wouldn't mind!

My IL's live 45 minutes away from us and H's father works in our town. We see my family more than his... They are very interesting people. They don't inform us of things until they have already happened. Not organized at all! Nice people, but I wouldn't want to take the risk of living closer to them than we already do. I feel the older they got the worse it would get for us in terms of boundaries. So we won't even cross that path haha!

It sounds like you have awesome IL's and a lot of wonderful perks. Looking forward to seeing if you like the house at the showing

[krystee]

I am currently two miles away (the house a street over didn't work out) like sarahsas, and I love it too. Close enough to make it super convenient but far enough that we feel like we have our own space. I don't need my dad asking why I am getting Amazon packages six days a week (it's not my fault! I ordered seven small things totaling $50 and they shipped them in six different boxes!). And I don't need him just dropping by four nights a week when my mom is working. And if we have people over in the yard until 10 or so, I don't need them either coming by to join in or telling us we were too loud. Not that they WOULD do any of those things, but the idea of the lack of privacy makes me nervous. If it is THE perfect house and spot and price, I would do it. But if there are other options that are a couple streets away, I'd do that instead.

[melsamoony]

I would consider it w my parents. We are super close w my parents. I would definitely consider the same street but probably not immediately next door. I would consider a fee doors down though.

We live 15 minutes from my parents and I love it.

[grover]

Update: We loved the house. Layout was perfect for our needs, and the backyard would be perfect for the pups if we just added the two little front sides to seal it off. Kitchen would have wanted upgraded countertops at some point in the future, and the basement would have just needed some time of flooring. However, she wants to officially list it for sale by owner this week or next, and there's no way we'd be able to have ours listed that fast in order to do a contract contingent on sale. So we're going to move as fast as possible finishing up the list of projects on our house to list it sooner than later, but not fixate on this house. If it's still available when we list, great. If not, we'll begin the house search officially once there is an offer on ours. It's nice though that H is finally gung ho about finishing up the little projects that have been unfinished for a while.

[Alyssa]

Sounds awesome to me!

We live within 30 minutes drive from both the ILs and my parents.  They watch our kids while we work FT and it's a huge benefit to have someone you trust to watch your children.  Too many nanny-cam Dateline episodes have left me freaked out about random nannies and sitters watching my babies.

You might have a crazy start of having them over a lot because they will be excited to see you so much, but the newness will most likely wear off and you won't have to worry about them coming over 24/7.  That's what happened to us.

[lostarz]

Feb 22, 2015 10:34:52 GMT -5 HoneySpider said:

I love my parents and my MIL but 2 doors down is a little close for me. I wouldn't even be worried about them coming over unannounced or anything....I would just feel like I didn't have my own space. Being that close means you know a lot about what's going on in each other's business. Not that I'm doing anything shady at my house that I need to hide, I just really like having a space that's my own. I would like to be closer to our parents just not that close.

Sounds like a lot of really good positives for you though. You'll have to let us know if you like the house once you see it!

This.

We're about a mile and a half from my parents and it's fine.  Neither set of parents are nosy, but even being on the same street would be too close for me.

[Deleted]

my first house was 8 houses up the street. When DH and built our house, someone else was building next door to my parents and everyone thought it was us. Next door is too close!!!