I wouldn't mind if my parents lived in Philly. I actually think they would love city living. They walk everywhere, love to chat with random people and for my dad we have two horse tracks in a short distane
I still like snow. This opinion seems to be rather unpopular around here.
Not unpopular with me. I love snow. We were supposed to get 1-3 in. today and now they aren't calling for it anymore. I'm embarrassingly upset. I love plowing snow too.
So for quite a few years DH has given up a hobby which he really enjoyed. It is a time consuming hobby. Well he's recently mentioned how he'd like to pick it back up and getting season football tickets. For some reason without thinking I encouraged the season football tickets but now when I think about it I'm like nooooooooooooooooooooooo.
So I know this is selfish but I'm going to have a baby this summer. I'll be able to go to one game maybe, granted by choice, but I uh don't want him to go more than once either.
I also feel like I don't want him to get back into his hobby either. I know this makes me a jerk. It would make him happy to do either and it's even more awful b/c seriously he spends so much damn time with us...he should get to do what he wants. It's just sending me into a panic with having then two kids...
I don't think this makes you selfish or a jerk at all. There is probably nothing you can do about the football tickets if he already bought them, but I don't blame you for not wanting him to get back into a time consuming hobby. I'm sure you won't be spending much time on hobbies once the new baby arrives and having a newborn is hard. I'd want him around too!
DH wants a house with an inlaws suite. Not a joke.
My MIL lives across the street. Best of both worlds. We are always looking for real estate with room for one or both of our moms someday.
Shit. This would be my own personal hell. I'd rather live in a cardboard box than have either my mom or MIL live with me. Visit for a few days? Sure. Maybe do a long weekend together? Sure. But LIVE together? No.
If I had to choose between lots of snow and below 0 weather for a month straight or 100+ for two months then snow would absolutely win, hands down. I find it easier and more comfortable to leave the house in 0 than 90. You can easily put more clothing on, there's only so much you can take off!
Although after this winter the Pacific NW is looking really attractive. Basically anything from San Francisco to Vancouver sounds ideal to me! Too bad it's so far from family...
I don't mind the cold per se. It's all the friggen snow and ice everywhere plus the gusting 25+mph winds that get me. Also, 100 degrees in dry air is very different than humid. I can tolerate dry hot. Humid-hot? Nope, nope, nope.
If I had to choose between lots of snow and below 0 weather for a month straight or 100+ for two months then snow would absolutely win, hands down. I find it easier and more comfortable to leave the house in 0 than 90. You can easily put more clothing on, there's only so much you can take off!
Although after this winter the Pacific NW is looking really attractive. Basically anything from San Francisco to Vancouver sounds ideal to me! Too bad it's so far from family...
I don't mind the cold per se. It's all the friggen snow and ice everywhere plus the gusting 25+mph winds that get me. Also, 100 degrees in dry air is very different than humid. I can tolerate dry hot. Humid-hot? Nope, nope, nope.
This winter has been brutal. It's the first time I've ever had a base coat of snow that meant not seeing the ground or two months (and counting). But I still find it more tolerable than brutal heat. Although you have a point about dry heat. Any time I've been in hot temps it has also been a humid climate, so that may factor in a lot to my hatred!
I don't mind the cold per se. It's all the friggen snow and ice everywhere plus the gusting 25+mph winds that get me. Also, 100 degrees in dry air is very different than humid. I can tolerate dry hot. Humid-hot? Nope, nope, nope.
This winter has been brutal. It's the first time I've ever had a base coat of snow that meant not seeing the ground or two months (and counting). But I still find it more tolerable than brutal heat. Although you have a point about dry heat. Any time I've been in hot temps it has also been a humid climate, so that may factor in a lot to my hatred!
I've been in dry heat and while it's better than humid heat it still sucks.
Oh someone just prompted one from me - I thought of a hotel hot tub "in" the room skeeves me out.
DH and I stayed in one once (it was actually a huge whirlpool bathtub in the corner of the bedroom). It was in this really rustic inn in the mountains in Banff (it happened to be their honeymoon suite). It was actually really awesome.
I agree. Honestly a lot of our trip is sitting side by side lost in a good book.
If we do take trip this year w/o them, this is what is most appealing to me and probably him, too.
I am planning to leave my kids with for maybe 4 nights while I go to my parents' beach house and let them spoil me. I am very excited.
I used to be horrified at the thought of being away from my kids overnight. Now I need it. I've only been away from DS1 when DS2 was born and then both of them one night when I had a panic attack and DH took them on a trip I had planned on joining them for but backed out of to settle my nerves. I've realized that I'm a better parent when I am able to step back. My anxiety gets out if control if I don't get a break. After a week snowed in immediately following both kids being sick I called my mom and cried for half an hour.
I look forward to the break from DH too honestly. And he has had plenty of kid free fun trips for football games and Mardi Gras not to mention work training and conferences where he gets the whole evening off. He was in New Orleans the whole week we were snowed in drinking, gambling and hanging out with friends. Of course he's from NOLA so Mardi Gras is a sacred cow. I'm not keeping score, but...he's definitely winning in the kid free time arena. It will be good for all of us.
My MIL lives across the street. Best of both worlds. We are always looking for real estate with room for one or both of our moms someday.
Shit. This would be my own personal hell. I'd rather live in a cardboard box than have either my mom or MIL live with me. Visit for a few days? Sure. Maybe do a long weekend together? Sure. But LIVE together? No.
Well ideally it would be property with a carriage house or mil suite. Not a bedroom across the hall. Nope.
ok, I can see about the hobby thing, since he now has the season tickets but you encouraged him to get them. So it's not really fair for you to change your mind if he already has them. My husband would be pissed (rightfully so) if I said yes buy season tickets, oh but now you can only go to one game.
Yep, I totally have encouraged the tickets. He hasn't purchased them yet, but at the same time I kept saying well maybe you should just buy one at a time...so clearly being ridiculous.
I know he should get to have fun, b/c damn if the man doesn't encourage me to do the same. I'm just really nervous about having a baby and a toddler along with a husband who has a pretty heavy travel schedule.
If he hasn't already bought them I might tell him this is not the year. DH shares season football tickets with his family for a team 5 hours away. I do not like him to go more than once without me, and I don't like to go more than once. He has taken DS1 with him which was nice. In a few years it won't be as big of a deal.
If I had to choose between lots of snow and below 0 weather for a month straight or 100+ for two months then snow would absolutely win, hands down. I find it easier and more comfortable to leave the house in 0 than 90. You can easily put more clothing on, there's only so much you can take off!
Although after this winter the Pacific NW is looking really attractive. Basically anything from San Francisco to Vancouver sounds ideal to me! Too bad it's so far from family...
Seriously, ladies. It has been unbelievable here. Sunny and 60s for like week. My plants (and allergies) are all kinds of confused, but I will take it. I think west coast is winning winter.
Spin off of Scattered -- I don't think DH and I need to go away overnight to reconnect. We have sitter 3-4 times a month. Our kids goo to bed hours before we do. We have an abundance of kid free time.
Ditto this. My kids are asleep by 6:30. I much prefer having a romantic dinner, open a bottle of wine, watch a movie, play a game, talk, etc over going out.
I cannot wrap my head around telling my husband he "can't" do something. Imagine the outrage if your husband encouraged you to do something then changed his mind and said you couldn't.
Hell, I'm the one who would buy season tickets and show my face at every home game. I would be PISSED if my H told me to buy season tickets and then changed his mind.
I cannot wrap my head around telling my husband he "can't" do something. Imagine the outrage if your husband encouraged you to do something then changed his mind and said you couldn't.
I don't think it's saying he can't. It's saying, "After giving this more thought, I think it's going to be very stressful for me. Can we put this off or think of a way to make it not so rough on me?" I think that's different and reasonable.
I know plenty of couples who have had to compromise on time consuming hobbies like golf or tennis or going to sporting events. Sometimes it seems like no big deal at first then you realize the full extent of the time involved and it's untenable.
I mean, did it not occur to either of you during the original conversation that there is a baby on the way?
Uh, yeah are you trying to be nasty the way your putting it? Yeah it did occur to me, but now I'm kind of panicking with his work schedule, two kids, and now his mention of the bringing back his old hobby. The combination of the three is worrisome, but I made my bed...
LOL @ cna being nasty. Hokay.
And seriously what is this hobby you keep vaguley mentioning? Is he a furry or something?
I guess I really am a bitch. Because baby or no baby if DH wanted to fit in 16 outings (8 out of town) over a few months (or even in a full year) in addition to his job and a hobby, I'd say no fucking way. That's too much time away from the family.
I mean we have weird schedules so him doing anything like that would involve me taking PTO at work or hiring a sitter. But even if it didn't and we had more traditional hours or I still was a SAHM, I would be resentful about all his time away from the kids and out with his friends when I was getting it. And if I demanded equal time away, there goes all the family time. It wouldn't work for us.
I mean, did it not occur to either of you during the original conversation that there is a baby on the way?
Uh, yeah are you trying to be nasty the way your putting it? Yeah it did occur to me, but now I'm kind of panicking with his work schedule, two kids, and now his mention of the bringing back his old hobby. The combination of the three is worrisome, but I made my bed...
I wasn't trying to be nasty. Just trying to understand the thought process.
But imagine if this was reversed and her H said she should totally go get season tickets and then was like "nope."
However, I never said nope and won't.
I just think it's selfish as hell that I want to say nope.
I don't think it's selfish. It's not like you don't want him to ever do it or he can't go so you can go get a mani pedi. Your life's chaotic right now.
Also, I will admit that I resent my husband's sports obsession. He goes to games and if not he watches on tv: all kinds of sports, all seasons. He's still home but he's glued to the tv or his computer. He fucking watched football on his phone on the beach. I sometimes wish I had a socially acceptable obsession. Maybe I will just tell DH, "Hey can you make sure DS2 doesn't choke on sand and DS1 doesn't drown while I watch Downton Abbey? I have a fantasy match going on and I need to see how many witty barbs Maggie Smith lands this week!"
I need to know what the hobby is. We've had shared tickets to baseball the last 7 or 8 years. That's more like a dozen games without me and some more with me. There were some tough days with newborns but overall not a big deal. We're actually not getting a full pack this year and I'm kind of sad.
I think sometimes it's okay to say, "this really isn't going to work," but it definitely needs to be within a bigger conversation since it's already been encouraged.