@ Please share your parenting fails

[origami]

Because I feel like a complete failure today and I'm throwing myself a giant pity party over it.

This afternoon I missed the school bus by an HOUR because I was working and completely lost track of time. (I usually WAH but today I was in an office.) My phone was on silent and I missed 8 calls from the school and the bus aide. And a bunch from my DH, who got calls from the school and left work early to go get the kids because I didn't pick up the phone. My kids couldn't get dropped off til 2 hours after their scheduled time because they had to go to end of the route and they were freaking out. I feel like the stupidest person on earth. Like I'm not cut out to be a SAHM (because I don't like it) or a working mom (because I'm irresponsible).

Please commiserate with me so I know I'm not the only parent that fails sometimes.

[ringstrue]

I'm so sorry. That's one of those things I fear of myself too (being too distracted).

Once dd got out of the backyard when she was 3 ish I think. It was only for 20 seconds, but enough for her to run A BLOCK away. I was standing in the front yard screaming for her like in a horror movie. I saw/got her right away, but I was shaken up for a couple weeks.

[origami]

Feb 27, 2015 6:52:52 GMT -5 ringstrue said:

I'm so sorry. That's one of those things I fear of myself too (being too distracted).

Once dd got out of the backyard when she was 3 ish I think. It was only for 20 seconds, but enough for her to run A BLOCK away. I was standing in the front yard screaming for her like in a horror movie. I saw/got her right away, but I was shaken up for a couple weeks.

that feeling sucks so much. And it reminded me of DH's parenting fail. Our kids ran in opposite directions and he lost one of them for about 20 min. I seriously thought he was going to have a heart attack.

[lyssbobiss, Command, B613]

Please to be seeing my post from @thursday randoms. I was getting so annoyed with Babycakes for refusing to help me help him with whatever he thought was in his bottom. I figured he had shit himself again. It was crackers.

Don't feel awful, origami. I fail daily!

[omgzombies]

DD managed to eat her own poop once when she was a baby, and I learned the true meaning of shit-eating grin. Oh god that was so horrifying.

I went to the bathroom once and left DS (he was maybe a little over a year at that point) in the family room for all of maybe two minutes. I came out and he was gone. I ran all over the first floor of our house like a banshee, crying hysterically. There aren't that many places to hide in the area that's gated off, just the kitchen, family room, laundry room and DH's study. As I go run into the laundry room I hear a knock coming from the door that leads into the garage. Turns out the little bugger managed to not only open the door to the garage, but then close it after himself. Thank god the garage door was closed. I was about half a second from calling the police because I lost my son.

[cookiemdough]

You mean outside of forcing my kids to believe in the mythical deity in the sky and subjecting them to the horror of church?

Well let's see, I have sent my kid to school after he told me he didn't feel well because I didn't believe him only for school to call me two hours later that he has a fever.

I went to pee (in a different bathroom) while my daughter was in the bathtub. I heard a little scream and I ran back in while pulling up my pants to find she pooped in the tub. I guess I took her off the potty too early before putting her in the tub cause I had to pee.

[Deleted]

The kids and I were down at a hotel with my mom in the Springs for the morning. We were on our way to get into our truck and DD wouldn't stop crying. I figured she was just being crabby about leaving the pool that morning, but as I'm heaving her into her car seat, she throws up all over it. It turns out she swallowed some pool water which made her queasy, and I had to try to wash out the car seat at the hotel.

We hung out down there a bit longer to let her tummy settle, but DS' best friend (who we're family friends with) had a birthday party later that afternoon that he really wanted to make it to. So, once it seemed DD was well enough and she wanted to go to the party, we headed there.

No one threw up, but both kids were so cranky and DD was still not feeling right, they wound up finding corners to lay in and fell asleep.

Brilliant on my part. I was so glad they were friends and didn't judge me too harshly, and the kids don't remember any of this.

[cinnamoncox]

Ugh, how long do you have?

Last summer my four year old twins ran from me and my then 15 year old son at the zoo and we (ds and I) split up and went searching for them and I legit thought I was going to die of a heart attack and I was just about to interrupt a zookeeper giving a crocodile demo for him to blow a whistle or do a code Adam or some shit, when I spotted then running free without a care in the world.

Ds and I got them and went to the car and I don't think I've ever been that scared/mad/terrified in my life.

I was shaking and couldn't drive home right away. They were all like what??? We love to ruuuuuuun!!!

I want to puke when I think about what could've happened.

[auntie]

So many...

Along this theme, there was the time I forgot to pick up DS from school. I'd had a recurrence of PTSD and was having a hard time cognitively with my meds. It was a special reading school 45 minutes away in another state and we carpooled- I didn't realize it was my turn. To this day, I suspect I was being gas-lit by another mom who hated to drive and usually made her DH do their share. When one of the other moms called me, she woke me from an SSRI-induced nap and I'm sure I sounded drunk. She said not to worry, she'd leave work and collect them. FTR, she's a neonatologist so it's not like she didn't have important stuff to do.

One time at scout camp, DS was doing a wilderness survival camp out. He had spent the week making a shelter from sticks and leaves and was going to spent the night out in the woods sleeping in it. There are older kids/adults with the group, but they keep the kids spread out to replicate being out alone. This scares the shit out of the 11 year olds and a good number balk at the final night in the woods. DS started his usual goldbricking- complaining he didn't feel well, he was tired, etc. DH and I insisted over his protests that he go. Around midnight I got a call from a camp nurse that he had a 103F fever. He had strep throat. One of the older scouts had to fireman carry him 2 miles out of the woods in the dark.

[Onetwothree]

When Story was about 2 she reached out and touched a hot stove. There were six adults and no other children around, but none of us were paying close attention to her. Whenever she gets too close to something hot now I remind her of the stove incident. She doesn't seem to have any lasting mental or physical scars.

[mrsukyankee]

Read my friend's blog - you will feel better about yourself (she's hysterical and knows she is mental): notesfortheirtherapist.blogspot.co.uk/2015/01/the-nylons-incident-and-why-i-will.html?spref=fb

[lyssbobiss, Command, B613]

Oh, once XH had Babycakes on one of his weekends and fell asleep accidentally on the couch. Our son walked himself out the front door. He was just wandering around the neighborhood. Someone on the street called the police who picked up our kiddo and drove him back home and pounded on the front door which finally woke up XH. Babycakes was 4. Parenting fail.

[wawa]

My current fail:

I infected our entire daycare with this FUCKIGN STOMACH BUG because I thought she was better (24 hours since last vomit and no fever! normal appetite and energy levels!) and I was WRONG.

Like, my DCP is puking her guts out and closed today and I'm pretty sure all the parents hate me right now. And I don't blame them.

As for old school losing kids style fails - I've told you all the stories about my sister during her runner days? Like, MULTIPLE episodes where my mom lost my sister on our 20+ acres in the middle of the woods with horses and a pond because she'd wait till mama was in the bathroom and just make a break for it? Usually barefoot. And once naked. that's fun. Going to the bathroom while your 2 year old is sitting on the couch, perfectly content watching Sesame Street and eating cheerios, come back out and the front door is wide open and she's gone. Then when you run back to the house to call for backup after darting all over the place screeching her name, the phone rings and it's your neighbor 3/4 of a mile away saying, "uhhhh, aaaare you missing something?" because a grungy naked gremlin child showed up on her front step with a fist full of dandelions.

Luckily that neighbor was my mom's BFF and did not call CPS.

[IIOY]

The time DD rolled off the changing table as an infant and we had to take her to the ER.

The time I forced DS to do his PT exercises as an infant and he screamed so long and hard that he burst a blood vessel in his eye.

The times (multiple) I've lost DS at the pool because he figured out how to get outside the fence and was running around the parking lot with his friends.

The time I found DD playing with wart remover medicine.  I walked in on her just as she was about to eat some. 

The time my son ate scrambled eggs and his throat closed up and I couldn't figure out why his voice sounded super high and squeaky and I decided it was just post-nasal drip and I took him to the fucking gym because dammit I needed some exercise and I was told by the child care workers there that he was not well.

The time I lost DD in Whole Foods and abandoned DS in a goddamn shopping cart in my moment of panic to race around looking for DD.

The time DS tripped on the way home from the bus stop, fell in front of a driveway, and was nearly run over by a car backing out of said driveway.  While technically this wasn't my fault, this is the incident that still keeps me up at night.

The time we discovered the hard way that hamster food usually has peanuts in it.

I'm sure there are others but my brain has (blessedly) blocked them out.

[eponinepontmercy]

I was walking behind Abby in the hall in front of our door, and tripped on my pant leg. I fell right on her, and came THISCLOSE to throwing her headfirst into the wall. No one was hurt, but I sat and sobbed because I could have seriously injured her because I'm clumsy.

Oh, and the usual "turned away for a minute and she fell off the bed" story from when she was an infant.

[wawa]

Feb 27, 2015 8:27:07 GMT -5 eponinepontmercy said:

I was walking behind Abby in the hall in front of our door, and tripped on my pant leg. I fell right on her, and came THISCLOSE to throwing her headfirst into the wall. No one was hurt, but I sat and sobbed because I could have seriously injured her because I'm clumsy.

Oh, and the usual "turned away for a minute and she fell off the bed" story from when she was an infant.

My version of this Shorti landed in a basket of laundry.  Mt. Clothesmore saves the day!! 

See, THAT'S why I never put clean clothes away.  Or wash the dirty ones.  Or do anything with them really besides fill baskets and make piles.

[redheadbaker]

I forgot to pick DS up from daycare. FI always did pickups, but had an appointment after work. He even reminded me in the morning, and I still forgot.

He also fell off the bed twice.

[Chirp]

I had DS (and FI and his daughter) at the grocery store and DS was standing on the cart rack and holding onto the handle while I pushed. While I grabbed stuff off the shelves, he and FI's daughter made a game out of jumping backward off the cart and onto the floor. The one time he went to do it, his foot slipped off the cart before he was ready to jump and his chin slammed into the handle. He was silent for a second and then he screamed and blood started running out of his mouth. Luckily we were right in front of the bathroom, so I grabbed him and ran into the bathroom (no easy feat, he's 48" tall and 50 lbs), cranked his mouth open and saw a canine-tooth sized hole in th middle of his tongue. He's still screaming at this point, so I just threw some water in his mouth to get the hole cleaned out a little, pressed on it with papertowels to get the bleeding to stop, we abandoned the cart and we hightailed it to the ER to make sure he didn't need stitches. Nope, all good. By the time we got back to the room the bleeding had stopped, so they just cleaned him up, gave him a dose of tylenol and told him to eat squishy foods for at least 4 days.

The next day, we went back to the store to try again. This time he had to hold my hand the whole time and he wasn't allowed near the cart. He got to pick out a ton of baby food pouches and pudding. He thought that was the coolest thing ever.

This happened this past summer. The hole has been closed since about a week after he did it, but he still has a tiny slit right on the surface of his tongue that'll probably never go away completely.

[Chirp]

There's also the time (about a month ago) that he had that horrible stomach bug that's going around. I didn't know he had it yet. We were sitting on the couch playing a game on his ipad and he looked at me, said his tummy felt funny and immediately puked. Mother of the year right here caught the puke with the ipad. And then since my hands were full of puke covered ipad, I couldn't grab him and run to the bathroom. I just sat there while he continued to puke on the ipad. Luckily, it had one of these cases...

so I just threw it open and pushed it against DS' belly and made a bowl out of his shirt, the ipad and the cover. LOL

[chedifuen]

Take it easy on yourself, you have a lot going on and it's hard to balance everything perfectly. I work from home and have missed the bus more than once. My boss has taken to reminding me to go get my kid.

My worst ever fail was at the zoo. The three year old was being a cranky beast and so we were trying to leave. I was distracted by someone and tried to push the stroller forward without looking at it. It wouldn't move, so assuming it was stuck on the grass I started shoving it really hard. Some lady comes running over to tell me my kid is halfway out of the stroller and I'm trying to push it over him. I started crying and thought I might die of embarrassment.

[dottyblue]

Feb 27, 2015 8:13:57 GMT -5 wawa said:

My current fail:

I infected our entire daycare with this FUCKIGN STOMACH BUG because I thought she was better (24 hours since last vomit and no fever! normal appetite and energy levels!) and I was WRONG.

Like, my DCP is puking her guts out and closed today and I'm pretty sure all the parents hate me right now. And I don't blame them.

As for old school losing kids style fails - I've told you all the stories about my sister during her runner days? Like, MULTIPLE episodes where my mom lost my sister on our 20+ acres in the middle of the woods with horses and a pond because she'd wait till mama was in the bathroom and just make a break for it? Usually barefoot. And once naked. that's fun. Going to the bathroom while your 2 year old is sitting on the couch, perfectly content watching Sesame Street and eating cheerios, come back out and the front door is wide open and she's gone. Then when you run back to the house to call for backup after darting all over the place screeching her name, the phone rings and it's your neighbor 3/4 of a mile away saying, "uhhhh, aaaare you missing something?" because a grungy naked gremlin child showed up on her front step with a fist full of dandelions.

Luckily that neighbor was my mom's BFF and did not call CPS.

Awww.  My DS gave our entire daycare Hand Foot and Mouth.  I assume he caught it at the pediatrician's office at his 18 month appointment.  I had noticed some sores, but the nurse said it was probably just a reaction to the chicken pox vaccine...  HA!  The entire in-home daycare was shut down for a week because literally every kid (and a few parents) contracted it.  My poor DCP had to deal with her own two DD's having HFM along with disinfecting all the toys/surfaces in her home.  :?

It happens.

[redheadbaker]

Feb 27, 2015 8:13:57 GMT -5 wawa said:

My current fail:

I infected our entire daycare with this FUCKIGN STOMACH BUG because I thought she was better (24 hours since last vomit and no fever! normal appetite and energy levels!) and I was WRONG.

Like, my DCP is puking her guts out and closed today and I'm pretty sure all the parents hate me right now. And I don't blame them.

When I was a kid, I gave my entire dance class the chicken pox, at the dress rehearsal the night before our dance recital.

[Deleted]

DD (3) always asks to stay in the car when we go places and I always say "No, you have to come with me cuz someone might steal you and I would be sad" (I know horrible) so Tuesday it was snowing like crazy so I stopped at our mailbox and there was mail for the previous tenant, I drove over to the rental office, parked right in front of the door, left the car running and got out and ran in to give the mail over to be forwarded, then ran back to the car. I was gone probably less than a minute but DD was bawling, "you left me, someone could steal me" I was heartbroken. Then when we got home she said "You need to tell daddy you left me in the car."

Also, she knows what zombies are and talks about shooting them in the head.

[dottyblue]

My worst moment was being paralyzed with fear while DS ran around the car and out into the 4 lane road with cars BARRELING towards him. I literally couldn't move and just screamed.

Thank God that DH had the presence of mind to grab DS's hood and haul him back by the car.

I was supposed to be putting him in his carseat while DH put the stroller in the trunk. I got side-tracked by trying to throw a blanket and my purse in the car and thought he would stay by the car like I told him to. If anything had happened it would have been entirely my fault. I still get panicky thinking about it.

[racegrrl714]

My H works every other weekend, so it's just me and kiddo those Saturdays and sundays. He leaves at 6 am and she is a pretty decent sleeper (once we get her to go to sleep, but that's a whole other story) and will usually sleep in on the weekends until at least 8:00. One Saturday morning I didn't wake up until almost 10, and then panicked when I noticed she wasn't in her bed. Before I could go frantically searching the house for her, here she sauntered in through the front door, wearing nothing but a t-shirt and underwear. She had woken up, saw our neighbor's horses standing near our back fence (our yard backs up to a large pasture) and decided to sneak out of the house to go pet them. Freaked me the EFF out.

[speckledfrog]

When DS1 was a newborn I put him in the car to run an errand. After I had started the car I realized I had left something inside. I got paranoid about someone taking him, so I closed the garage door. With the car running. I wasn't inside very long, but when I got back in garage I realized what an idiotic move it had been.

[eponinepontmercy]

Feb 27, 2015 9:22:33 GMT -5 redheadbaker said:

Feb 27, 2015 8:13:57 GMT -5 wawa said:

My current fail:

I infected our entire daycare with this FUCKIGN STOMACH BUG because I thought she was better (24 hours since last vomit and no fever! normal appetite and energy levels!) and I was WRONG.

Like, my DCP is puking her guts out and closed today and I'm pretty sure all the parents hate me right now. And I don't blame them.

When I was a kid, I gave my entire dance class the chicken pox, at the dress rehearsal the night before our dance recital.

My brother developed chicken pox right after having surgery on his feet.  They had to shut down the operating room to completely disinfect it and one of the nurses got them because she never had them as a child.

Between that and my running down the hallway when they tried to take blood, we were pretty famous at the hospital.  Did I mention my mother worked there (and still does)?

[ringstrue]

Oh I forgot DS was thisclose to falling head first off the bed a few days ago. Thankgod he is a chunk and not as top-heavy now.

Also DD threw herself over the back of the couch onto our hardwood floors and fell face first.

[Deleted]

You want me to tell you about my child falling out of a window into a tree? Or shall I regale you with how he followed the dog out of the house and walked up and down the street by himself for 30 minutes at least?

Or how about when I left a three week old pinky in the parking lot while I rant into the grocery store for diapers. I'd forgotten I'd brought her with me.

[laurenpetro]

G rolled off the changing table when she was 1.5. B slid off the couch when he was 8 days old. J randomly gropes women's boobs.