Post by lyingliarlies on Feb 27, 2015 9:11:02 GMT -5
my 3 yo was looking in the mirror, making himself cry & forcing out tears while washing his hands. I told him that crying won't get him dressed & eating breakfast any faster.
I realized at this moment that I would've been either the world's best or worst motivational speaker.
Post by lyingliarlies on Feb 27, 2015 9:18:14 GMT -5
It annoys me when people quote the OP in their reply for no apparent reason. I mean, unless you are quoting & replying to someone else, of course you are giving your thoughts on the OP. If everyone did that, each thread would be a zillion pages long.
It annoys me when people quote the OP in their reply for no apparent reason. I mean, unless you are quoting & replying to someone else, of course you are giving your thoughts on the OP. If everyone did that, each thread would be a zillion pages long.
I don't do it on this board but I will for one poster who has a history of changing her post and major back tracking.
Elective csections for a first time birth are tough for me to see the appeal. My good friend is having one because she said it'll be easier in her mind versus a vaginal birth.
I could see I your dr anticipated that you might end up needing one. With dd, I labored for 36 hours and then had an emergency c section. Technically, my section with ds was elective. Recovery after the second section was much easier.
Elective csections for a first time birth are tough for me to see the appeal. My good friend is having one because she said it'll be easier in her mind versus a vaginal birth.
I could see I your dr anticipated that you might end up needing one. With dd, I labored for 36 hours and then had an emergency c section. Technically, my section with ds was elective. Recovery after the second section was much easier.
I had a very similar experience with DS1, and DS2 was a RCS because not a single OB in this stupid town could do a VBAC. I obviously have never delivered a baby vaginally but you would think an uncomplicated vaginal delivery would be a helluva lot easier than surgery. Why anyone would voluntarily choose that route just because is baffling to me.
I could see I your dr anticipated that you might end up needing one. With dd, I labored for 36 hours and then had an emergency c section. Technically, my section with ds was elective. Recovery after the second section was much easier.
I had a very similar experience with DS1, and DS2 was a RCS because not a single OB in this stupid town could do a VBAC. I obviously have never delivered a baby vaginally but you would think an uncomplicated vaginal delivery would be a helluva lot easier than surgery. Why anyone would voluntarily choose that route just because is baffling to me.
I've done both. The c/s was a breeze in the moment, but vaginal was a much easier recovery. I guess technically the twins were an elective c/s, but that choice was made based on statistics and doctor recommendation due to their positions and sizes. I know we made the safest choice, but I would have much preferred a vaginal delivery.
It annoys me when people quote the OP in their reply for no apparent reason. I mean, unless you are quoting & replying to someone else, of course you are giving your thoughts on the OP. If everyone did that, each thread would be a zillion pages long.
I don't do it on this board but I will for one poster who has a history of changing her post and major back tracking.
Yep, this is one of the apparent reasons it's usually understood when this is the case.
I could see I your dr anticipated that you might end up needing one. With dd, I labored for 36 hours and then had an emergency c section. Technically, my section with ds was elective. Recovery after the second section was much easier.
I agree. I had an elective csection after 36 hours of labor and no progress. She knew as soon as she was pregnant she wanted a csection and that's where I don't see the appeal.
However, she did say planning for it is much easier.
I generally don't care how women choose to deliver. BUT when gastro said women are scheduling sections to get their name on a wait list for preschool, I side eye that for sure.
I agree. Â I had an elective csection after 36 hours of labor and no progress. She knew as soon as she was pregnant she wanted a csection and that's where I don't see the appeal.Â
However, she did say planning for it is much easier.
I generally don't care how women choose to deliver. BUT when gastro said women are scheduling sections to get their name on a wait list for preschool, I side eye that for sure.
It's more than a side eye - it's insane. I guess I wouldn't consider it elective if your doctor and you have weighed the health concerns and a c section is in the best interest for you and baby. For scheduling reasons because you prefer your child to be born on a certain day? That I judge.
Post by amynumbers on Feb 27, 2015 12:38:30 GMT -5
What about elective c sections in order to deliver before the new year for tax and insurance purposes?
I judge, so I can make room for you on the judgy bench.
Also I know three people who are open with the fact that they had fully elective c's because they didn't want a vaginal delivery. One'a dpcyor flat out told her he orders to do c's whenever possible for his own schedule.
Post by penguingrrl on Feb 27, 2015 12:45:28 GMT -5
I have no issue with medically indicated c sections. I'm thankful that they exist to save lives. But how anyone could think that a c section is somehow easier than a vaginal birth is just beyond me (and I've experienced both). When someone says they think it's somehow easier or less physically traumatic I assume that they lack common sense and education.
What about elective c sections in order to deliver before the new year for tax and insurance purposes?
I judge, so I can make room for you on the judgy bench.
Also I know three people who are open with the fact that they had fully elective c's because they didn't want a vaginal delivery. One'a dpcyor flat out told her he orders to do c's whenever possible for his own schedule.
I judge. But DS1 was due December 24th and stayed put until January 1st. I wasn't running out to get my tax deduction removed before the end of the year.
Post by expectantsteelerfan on Feb 27, 2015 13:05:42 GMT -5
MY sil smoked during her pregnancy (she cut back and my brother said she quit but I know for a fact she didn't entirely) and still smokes now. My niece was hospitalized for RSV last winter and again this winter. I know this happens to other kids, but it kills me to think that my niece is at a greater risk for breathing problems because of my sil's choice to smoke. My mom smoked when she was pregnant with me and I have asthma and had breathing problems all my life, and it just makes me sad. I have to bite my tongue not to say anything to my brother every time I hear that my niece is sick.
MY sil smoked during her pregnancy (she cut back and my brother said she quit but I know for a fact she didn't entirely) and still smokes now. My niece was hospitalized for RSV last winter and again this winter. I know this happens to other kids, but it kills me to think that my niece is at a greater risk for breathing problems because of my sil's choice to smoke. My mom smoked when she was pregnant with me and I have asthma and had breathing problems all my life, and it just makes me sad. I have to bite my tongue not to say anything to my brother every time I hear that my niece is sick.
This is happening with one of my nieces & nephews. I know there's no way to know what's related, but they're both always sick. She smoked through both pregnancies & still smokes at home; outside, but still. She's was also surprised I drank caffeine while I was pregnant.
I think there is a big difference between recovery from a planned/elective csection vs. laboring for hours or days and then having one.
And if a csection is all you know, you can't really say it was easier than a vaginal. Some cesctions probably are way easier than others. As are vaginal. Heck, I recovered easier from a 10lb baby than a 7.5lb.
What about elective c sections in order to deliver before the new year for tax and insurance purposes?
I judge, so I can make room for you on the judgy bench.
Also I know three people who are open with the fact that they had fully elective c's because they didn't want a vaginal delivery. One'a dpcyor flat out told her he orders to do c's whenever possible for his own schedule.
Some of DH's female fellow ob/gyn residents have said they would prefer a c-section, largely for scheduling convenience so they would be able to plan ahead when they could schedule surgeries and procedures for when they return and arrange coverage while they are out. Obviously they know the risks. But it just seems dumb since you could still go into labor early and throw everything off and if not you know you are going to deliver within a two week window or be induced. I think a big part of it is wanting control, which I get. Anyway, I'm not sure that any of these women have actually followed through with this. One is currently in second tri, I'm curious to see what happens.
This is happening with one of my nieces & nephews. I know there's no way to know what's related, but they're both always sick. She smoked through both pregnancies & still smokes at home; outside, but still. She's was also surprised I drank caffeine while I was pregnant.
Ha - I had a friend judge me for drinking a diet coke while pg at a bbq because she was all organic this and organic that!! Meanwhile, she was a huge pot head and smoked during her pg. WTF?
I was getting lunch and she said, "oh, you're going to drink that?" about my Dr. pepper. I said, yep. She said, "I just do everything else so strictly since I feel guilty about smoking, I just couldn't drink caffeine." Huh.
The thought of planning to let a dr cut me open, especially for convenience, freaks me out. My first L&D was long and exhausting. The 2nd and 3rd were quick, but the recoveries for all were hard, especially with the last one (hello, 10.5 lb baby). But I would do it over again the same way instead of a planned c
Post by notreallyirish on Feb 27, 2015 13:54:49 GMT -5
Oh, 2 other c-section thoughts:
1. At my 38ish week appointment with DS1 we scheduled to have a c-section because he was large, especially his head (99th percentile still), I had a family history of 10+ lb babies, and my cervix was unfavorable. I opted for that instead of induction because I knew from DH and anecdotally that I was unlikely to be successfully induced with a first baby and would then end up having to recover from labor and a c-section. As it happens I did end up going into labor the day before my scheduled c-section and delivered vaginally after 3 hours of pushing, an episiotomy and a lot of fundal pressure (which is a big no no in general). My recovery was quick and easy, though so I'm glad it happened that way. I was induced with DS2 and it was a breeze.
2. One of DH's ob/gyn attendings talked about a group of women she delivered whose husbands all insisted they have c-sections so as not to damage their lovely vaginas. She called them the "platinum perineums."
My mom had one emergency c-section and two planned ones and said it's an entirely different ball game when they're planned. She was up and hosting a party for 30 people a few days after the 2nd planned one and felt completely fine. She watched me recover from my tear with Joey and said I was in far worse shape than she ever was with her sections.
I bounced back faster with Mallory than with Joey even though she was bigger. I tore less though.
Mine was planned and recovery was awful. Way worse than I expected. But pretty much everyone I know who has had more than one (planned or not) says the first recovery was worst.
Post by Kcthepouchh8r on Feb 27, 2015 16:27:02 GMT -5
I was the reverse. I labored for 60 hours with ds that ultimately ended in a section. He was 10lbs. I was out and about running errands like nothing happened the next week. Dd was a planned section, 8lbs and had a really long recovery.
Post by penguingrrl on Feb 27, 2015 16:33:57 GMT -5
I think that people's individual stories are always going to vary. I had a reasonably easy c section recovery and took a walk around town when my oldest was less than a week old. My vaginal birth recoveries were far easier than that. My SIL had two c sections and had to extend her maternity leave after each because at 12 weeks she was still having trouble walking both times. My sister completed an olympic triathlon 10 weeks post c section.
There are also people who have traumatic vaginal deliveries, no question.
That doesn't change that statistically vaginal births are far safer and that it's a lot less invasive than having a c section and that there aren't inherently more risks to having a surgical delivery simply because surgery in and of itself is risky and birth is risky and combining the two is riskier.
If I ever have a surprise baby (please, no) I will get a c-section, even if I have to pay for it OOP. I'm just not willing to go through all of it again. If I'd insisted on a c-section after my first horrible delivery, M wouldn't have been stuck and oxygen deprived. I realize it's a lot of what ifs and what happened was an accident but if she'd had any permanent damage from her experience, I would never have forgiven myself for not insisting on the section the second time around. I would never wish that hell on anyone and I know that if I ever got pregnant again, I would be an absolute disaster until the baby was out and that I'd probably need to be sedated if I thought I had to go through labor and vaginal delivery again.
So I guess my confession is that I don't judge elective c-sections at all. But I do sometimes judge cosmetic surgery that isn't to correct an actual deformity. How's that for hypocritical? lol
Honestly, ever since you posted your birth story with M I have thought your doctor should have sectioned you. Not even a question! Given your history I wouldn't consider a c section elective. That's not what I'm referring to. I'm referring to people who have never had a baby and say that they would prefer a c section off the bat. I've met many of them and that's bizarre.
Honestly, ever since you posted your birth story with M I have thought your doctor should have sectioned you. Not even a question! Given your history I wouldn't consider a c section elective. That's not what I'm referring to. I'm referring to people who have never had a baby and say that they would prefer a c section off the bat. I've met many of them and that's bizarre.
Yeah I was one of those people before I had kids though lol
They couldn't give me a section with M. She would have died. It wasn't their fault. There was literally NO indication of any problems. She was dropping down, we had her vitals and heartrate the entire time and it was completely normal. It literally all happened in the last 30 seconds. Everything seemed normal, her vitals and mine were fine. But when her head actually came out and they saw past all the dark hair to her actual skin, she was blue and not getting oxygen. The cord was unfortunately too tight for them to be able to safely cut it while she was still stuck inside me. If they'd been able to slip it over her head, they could have rotated her better to get her out. But since her shoulders weren't fitting and she was hanging out of me blue, they didn't have any choice but to break the shoulder and force her out. So they couldn't have done a section. The whole thing just sucked so bad. I realize it's totally an outlier in birth experiences and that I'll probably never actually get over it. It's a huge part of why I'm never even considering more babies. But I don't blame the hospital. Everything was going great, albeit slowly up until the point where it was too late to change the plan. Bottom line is they saved her life, which is the most important thing.
OMG, how terrifying. That's horrible . I remember reading it, but rereading it is scary. SIL stopped at two kids partly because of a horrible birth experience as well (crash c section under general administered as they were running her down to the OR).
Honestly, ever since you posted your birth story with M I have thought your doctor should have sectioned you. Not even a question! Given your history I wouldn't consider a c section elective. That's not what I'm referring to. I'm referring to people who have never had a baby and say that they would prefer a c section off the bat. I've met many of them and that's bizarre.
Yeah I was one of those people before I had kids though lol
They couldn't give me a section with M. She would have died. It wasn't their fault. There was literally NO indication of any problems. She was dropping down, we had her vitals and heartrate the entire time and it was completely normal. It literally all happened in the last 30 seconds. Everything seemed normal, her vitals and mine were fine. But when her head actually came out and they saw past all the dark hair to her actual skin, she was blue and not getting oxygen. The cord was unfortunately too tight for them to be able to safely cut it while she was still stuck inside me. If they'd been able to slip it over her head, they could have rotated her better to get her out. But since her shoulders weren't fitting and she was hanging out of me blue, they didn't have any choice but to break the shoulder and force her out. So they couldn't have done a section. The whole thing just sucked so bad. I realize it's totally an outlier in birth experiences and that I'll probably never actually get over it. It's a huge part of why I'm never even considering more babies. But I don't blame the hospital. Everything was going great, albeit slowly up until the point where it was too late to change the plan. Bottom line is they saved her life, which is the most important thing.
Kimbus, I hear you, while Jack's birth was not nearly as scary as M's, he was stuck for a minute or so. Needed a bit of oxygen but fine after that, no nicu or anything. Turns out his clavicle probably was broken, even though it didn't appear to be. Anyway, that was the scariest 5 minutes of my life, so I can't even imagine what You faced. I am so grateful I had a midwife with 30+ years experience who knew just what to do. I had no risk factors, either. Anyway, I wasn't planning on a 4th but now I'd be scared to death because of my high risk of having shoulder dystocia again. I know it doesn't nearly compare to Mallory but I can understand a bit of never wanting to do it again.
BIG hugs. The image of your mom jumping on the bed is sweet and horrible and the same time. But you are right, it was probably best. DH definitely remembers it all more vividly (not have labored & delivered…!) and his version is worse than mine. To look at her now, you'd never know. That girl has serious spunk!
And WTF, Joey threw up again!?! How is this even possible?