@i need to share, so warning.

[KateAggie]

Bernadette came home today.  It is strangely comforting to have her here.  I hope I can let her go when it's time to take her to the funeral on Monday.  If not, DH will have to force me, which he is prepared for, but that's way unfair.

Marisa's birthday party is tonight, and I'm so dreading it.  The hugs, the sympathy looks, the well meaning comments.  And I have to keep it together so I don't ruin Marisa's day.

She told me yesterday that she wished we wouldn't have found out about Bernadette until Saturday.  That's the first time she's made any kind of complaint about how this is affecting her.  She has been so strong.  But what a birthday, right?

i don't think this is ever going to get easier.  I really don't.

[ijack]

I am so sorry. All of this is terribly unfair

[penguingrrl]

I no there is nothing we can say to take away your pain, so I'm sending you tons of hugs.

[mbcdefg]

*hugs*

[MrsAxilla]

Hugs, chica. I'm so sorry.

[Deleted]

Thinking of you, so many hugs.

[ttt]

I am so sorry. I wish I could give you a big hug in person and I wish there was something we could all do to make this better. Just know that we are here for you, anything you need.

[earlgreyhot]

I don't have any words that will help, but sending you so much hugs and strength and peace.

[downtoearth]

((((KA))))

I hope your family and friends give you lots of support and help M have a great birthday.

[racegrrl714]

((HUGS))

[orangeblossom]

Hugs.

[Scout'sHonor]

I'm very sorry. Do what you need to do and I hope M's birthday this weekend can help lift your spirits, even for a little while. We're all here for you.

[jln]

Big hugs. I wish there was something that could make it easier.

[EloiseWeenie]

((hugs))

[KateAggie]

And I just want to say...I've always know that our online community is real, and special. But y'all (and my DH) are the only ones I can totally open up to, and share my brutal and honest feelings. Having some place I can totally spill my grief. That is what is saving me right now. Thanks to all of you.

[theoverlander]

I know you have know idea who I am but I just want to say that what you are going through completely and totally SUCKS.  It sucks, it blows, it is totally shitty, and fuck it all.

I apologize if I'm overstepping here, but I lost a baby under somewhat different circumstances.  I wasn't quite as far as you (I was 16 weeks) but OH MY GOD it sucked.  And the looks of pity just... ugh.  But, as hard as it is to know now, it will get better.  Part of you will always be sad.  You will always wonder what would have been.  You will always love that baby.  But you WILL be able to breathe again somewhere down the road.  You will be able to start to function.  It may take a while, but it will happen.

Many hugs from an internet stranger. 

[KB]

This is so awful, KA. If you need to take some time during the party tonight, please do. You get to control the situation, not anyone else. Even though people are well meaning, sometimes its just too much. Continued hugs to you.

[thejackpot]

(((hugs)))

[pixy0stix]

You do you. If you need to take a break during the festivities, you take a break.

The anticipation of the looks of pity was actually worse than what really happens. For the most part, people are concerned, and they want to help. Pity isn't really involved.

::hugs::

[swsaradee]

I am so sorry.

[anonymous]

Sending you so many prayers and lots of love. I am glad you have found some comfort in having your daughter home.

[wawa]

KA, so many hugs. Always.

[lyssbobiss, Command, B613]

We love you, KateAggie. I cannot imagine how difficult this time is for your family. Please reach out at any point - we are all here for you.

[omgzombies]

((Hugs)). We're here to listen whenever you need.

[gpw]

So much love and so many hugs to you, KA. We all love you here.

[forreals]

I'm so sorry, @kateaggie. Much love and positive thoughts to you.

[FloFTW]

Oh sweetie. I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry if this is overstepping. But can you keep her with you? Is that an option? Would it make you feel better? I do have friends that kept their babies until they were more ready to part.

[KateAggie]

Feb 27, 2015 12:43:15 GMT -5 FloFTW said:

Oh sweetie. I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry if this is overstepping. But can you keep her with you? Is that an option? Would it make you feel better? I do have friends that kept their babies until they were more ready to part.

We could...but I think that might make it harder. And I know it would be harder on my DH, which is not what I want.

[FloFTW]

Feb 27, 2015 12:53:06 GMT -5 KateAggie said:

Feb 27, 2015 12:43:15 GMT -5 FloFTW said:

Oh sweetie. I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry if this is overstepping. But can you keep her with you? Is that an option? Would it make you feel better? I do have friends that kept their babies until they were more ready to part.

We could...but I think that might make it harder. And I know it would be harder on my DH, which is not what I want.

Understood. Thinking of you all like crazy.

[josieposy]

((Hugs))