Family member with terminal illness

[skiesthelimit]

PDQ

I've shared before that my FIL has ALS.  He's currently in an electric wheelchair and has to use a mechanical lift for all transfers.  He needs 24hour care and can't be home alone for more than 1-2 hours at a time. 

We don't see him often because he lives about 5 hours away.  DH is going there this weekend to care for him because his step mom has a procedure OOT and won't be home.  DH has been a mess all week.  He gets like this before and after he sees his dad.  He won't talk to me about it.  His family isn't very close, they see each other a few times a year but aren't the hugging, touchy-feely type.  I know it's going to be very hard for DH to help his dad with personal care, like taking him to the bathroom. 

I want to help DH and support him but I'm at a loss.  He won't talk about it and when I bring it up he will leave the room or change the subject.  I have no idea what to say or how to help him. 

Does anyone have advice or experience?

[imimahoney]

I don't have any experience but that is so hard and sad. I would probably just tell him that you were there for him and ready to talk if he ever needed to. Maybe just saying that out loud will help him.

[jenbelle]

That's very tough. DH's mom had Alzheimer's and he very rarely wanted to talk about anything. Just be there when he finally does decide to talk about it. I had to really sit on myself to not badger Dh about talking. Big hugs, and sending prayers to your DH for this weekend.

[formerlyllizzyb]

That would be hard for my H too, even though he's in the medical field. I am sorry.

[Deleted]

I would just make sure that he knows that you are there for him if he ever wants to talk about it, but leave it up to him to bring up. If and when he wants to. I'm sorry, that has to be so hard. Also, good luck this weekend, and vent to me if you are going crazy! Haha. Did I just use my own advice on you??