Kerry Washington: Lucky To Have Gone To All-Girl School

[orangeblossom]

I think there's merit in what she says.

www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/04/kerry-washington-intelligence-over-looks_n_4043653.html


How did Kerry Washington learn to value her intelligence over her looks?



By attending an all-girls school.



The "Scandal" actress opened up about her experience at an October 2 panel at the Paley Festival in New York. She told the audience:





I was really lucky because I went to an all-girl school and that single sex education really helped me because I really learned to bond with women and to not compete with or compare myself as much because we were all allowed to be ourselves and be unique and kind of have our unique strengths. But I always felt like my value was much more in my intellect than it was in my appearance, and so that’s what I spent time cultivating. And some of that I get from my mother, some of that comes from the schools that I went to, and some of that comes from probably insecurity. This feeling that my value is what’s on the inside, because what’s on the outside can’t really compete with other people, so I’ll place my focus there. Which I think has been a blessing for me. Because I’m not stupid.

Kerry, we thought we couldn't love you more. Clearly we were wrong.

[Deleted]

Maybe it's different when you are a kid. (It's been a while) but when I look in the mirror, I think about what the girls will think of my hair, my dress, etx.
Might be because I'm married so I'm not trying to 'woo' anyone but even that song (Sheryl crow?) 'all dressed up for each other'

[laurenpetro]

I absolutely agree with her. I always say the best thing I ever did was go to my Catholic high school. Not because of religion but because it was single sex. It was the best experience I could have wanted.

I am sad that I won't be able to give G the same experience that I had growing up.

[orangeblossom]

laurenpetro I agree. I went to an all-girl school as well, and it was by far one of the best things I've done in my life, and is a large part of who I am today.

[saz]

Hmm I think single sex school would have been really amazing for me. I was boy crazy from a young age and it was a major distraction. I will have to think about this for DD

[mominatrix]

I hope she meant a High School, not a Women's College.

Because it's a Women's College. We take that shit seriously.



And, WOO-HOO a shout out for single sex education, which has tremendous benefits.





ETA: I went to a Womens' College that went co-ed while I attended. I'm a big BIG believer in the model. 

[2curlydogs]

I went to an all-girls Catholic high school. I can state, unequivocally, this is a real thing.

I remember my sophomore year I did a visit exchange day at my local public high school and was horrified at how none of those girls spoke up in class.

[orangeblossom]

Feb 27, 2015 17:10:03 GMT -5 mominatrix said:

I hope she meant a High School, not a Women's College.

Because it's a Women's College. We take that shit seriously.



And, WOO-HOO a shout out for single sex education, which has tremendous benefits.





ETA: I went to a Womens' College that went co-ed while I attended. I'm a big BIG believer in the model. 

It's for high school.  She went to George Washington for college.

[orangeblossom]

 I wish more cities would consider developing new single-sex schools.

[eclaires]

I didn't go to an all girls' school but one of my good friends did and she always says this.

That said, my high school experience was something that I think taught me to value my intelligence over appearance. It was competitive and being smart was the thing I identified with most. Idk, I think sometimes the environment of a school and your peers can provide a similar situation.

[kapoentje]

My mother would be a dissenter. She attended an all-girls private school for 12 years (K-12) then, after graduating, went to a private women's college for two years before transferring to a large co-ed university. Her mother had attended the same all-girls school then a (different, but not wholly dissimilar) private women's college, as had her older sister.

My mother was adamant that I not go the same route and was very grateful a co-ed alternative was available by the time it was my turn. Conversely (and, I guess contradictory but) she was supportive of my brothers attending an all-boys private school for middle and high school.

[4speedy]

My DD goes to an all girls school. Grades k-2 were coed. Starting in 3rd grade, the boys and girls are separated into different academies on campus. There are also single sex high schools on the same campus. I think it is the best of all worlds. They have single sex school but joint extra curricular clubs and events.

This is the first year my 3rd grader has been in an all girls class and she is thriving. Actually, ALL the girls are thriving. Every single girl in the class is "best friends." They love each other dearly and they really cheer each on as well as compete with each other to be the best. The aggregate math and science grades for the girls has sky rocketed over their performance last year when they were with the boys. Also, when they are around the boys, they are VERY confident. My formerly not willing to compete in athletics now gets in there and scraps for the ball with the boys on her basketball team.

Last Sept, during the 3rd week of school, my DD participated in something that was life changing for her. It was a "challenge weekend" at school. It started Friday after school and went until 10 pm each night. I had to drop her off at 8am each morning. She was teamed up with a high school mentor and 7 girls for athletic and academic challenges against other teams from within her school for 14 hours each day. In their down time between events, they participated in community service (they made fleece blankets to donate to a homeless shelter) and they had bonding time playing "Just Dance" etc. I wish I could describe the change in DD's mindset toward school after this weekend. She came home ready to achieve but also with the dearest friends that she will probably keep for her lifetime. And it has lasted the entire school year. having the high school mentor has also made a huge impact on DD. DD's mentor has earned a letter in 4 sports and is an academic all American. DD wants to be just like her. I love the changes I have seen in DD this year. She is FIERCE.

All girls school and school uniforms are the two best things that have happened for me as a parent.

[mominatrix]

Feb 27, 2015 17:12:39 GMT -5 2curlydogs said:

I went to an all-girls Catholic high school. I can state, unequivocally, this is a real thing.

I remember my sophomore year I did a visit exchange day at my local public high school and was horrified at how none of those girls spoke up in class.

it seemed like all the (eta: female) loudmouths in my 1L section (law school) had gone to women's colleges.


eta: and I only say 'loudmouths' in the best of all possible ways. Like, those who'd raise their hands and actually volunteer in class are considered, in a good way, 'loudmouths'.

[orangeblossom]

Feb 27, 2015 17:37:51 GMT -5 4speedy said:

My DD goes to an all girls school. Grades k-2 were coed. Starting in 3rd grade, the boys and girls are separated into different academies on campus. There are also single sex high schools on the same campus. I think it is the best of all worlds. They have single sex school but joint extra curricular clubs and events.

This is the first year my 3rd grader has been in an all girls class and she is thriving. Actually, ALL the girls are thriving. Every single girl in the class is "bat friends." They love each other dearly and they really cheer each on as well as compete with each other to be the best. The aggregate math and science grades for the girls has sky rocketed over their performance last year when they were with the boys. Also, when they are around the boys, they are VERY confident. My formerly not willing to compete in athletics now gets in there and scraps for the ball with the boys on her basketball team.

Last Sept, during the 3rd week of school, my DD participated in something that was life changing for her. It was a "challenge weekend" at school. It started Friday after school and went until 10 pm each night. I had to drop her off at 8am each morning. She was teamed up with a high school mentor and 7 girls for athletic and academic challenges against other teams from within her school for 14 hours each day. In their down time between events, they participated in community service (they made fleece blankets to donate to a homeless shelter) and they had bonding time playing "Just Dance" etc. I wish I could describe the change in DD's mindset toward school after this weekend. She came home ready to achieve but also with the dearest friends that she will probably keep for her lifetime. And it has lasted the entire school year. having the high school mentor has also made a huge impact on DD. DD's mentor has earned a letter in 4 sports and is an academic all American. DD wants to be just like her. I love the changes I have seen in DD this year. She is FIERCE.

All girls school and school uniforms are the two best things that have happened for me as a parent.

That's awesome about your daughter.

I think as long as you have frequent coed interaction, it can be a really positive thing.  I think it's when you try to only have students around the same sex, that issues can arise later.

It's really interesting to me, as there were quite a few girls who had babies during high school and/or while in college.  Every.single.one of them, went on to graduate college, and most of them on time.  If you look at girls who went to lesser-performing schools, it's a completely different story.  Lots of dropouts, and not nearly as many people going to college.

The foundation for success had already been set in the girls at my school, so it would make sense, but also, the support was there for the girls to finish.

[msmerymac]

Hell yes!

ETA: My all-girls school was academically very competitive, and is listed every year as the top high school in Western New York. I'm so glad I had that option. The goal every year is for 100% of graduates to attend a 4 year college. 

[4speedy]

Feb 27, 2015 17:15:57 GMT -5 melmaria said:

I also really loved my experience at an all-girls Catholic high school. I don't know if I'll do it for my kids though -- my H is really uncomfortable with parochial education (and I've never heard of a same sex public option).

There are single sex private schools that are non parochial.  Also, there  is a very good charter STEM program for just girls in our town.  It's not exactly public school or private school, kind of in between.

[msmerymac]

Feb 27, 2015 17:12:39 GMT -5 2curlydogs said:

I went to an all-girls Catholic high school. I can state, unequivocally, this is a real thing.

I remember my sophomore year I did a visit exchange day at my local public high school and was horrified at how none of those girls spoke up in class.

I didn't really realize that not speaking up in class when you are female was a thing until later in life, but in retrospect, my freshman year of (all-girls) high school, my hand was up all. the. time. I was never a shrinking violet in class, and I probably also attributed being able to shine in 9th grade to the fact that middle school is just pure hell for everyone and I was out of that environment, but I 100% think it was a more nurturing environment that really helped me do that.

[msmerymac]

Feb 27, 2015 17:15:57 GMT -5 melmaria said:

I also really loved my experience at an all-girls Catholic high school. I don't know if I'll do it for my kids though -- my H is really uncomfortable with parochial education (and I've never heard of a same sex public option).

Philly has an all-girls high school, but it's been around for a long, long time.

[orangeblossom]

Feb 27, 2015 17:15:57 GMT -5 melmaria said:

I also really loved my experience at an all-girls Catholic high school. I don't know if I'll do it for my kids though -- my H is really uncomfortable with parochial education (and I've never heard of a same sex public option).

It seems like there have been some same-sex charters schools that have been developed, but they always seem targeted towards boys.  Maybe there's something like that where you live.

Baltimore and Philly both have all-girls public schools that are each over 150 years old.

[eclaires]

4speedy that sounds like an amazing experience for your daughter. It sort of reminds me of some of the things we did at my school (retreats). I went to a co-Ed school but we had similar things (but with some religious overtones).

It helped us see past our differences and really know each other on a deeper level...we didn't do it until we were in high school but I can see the benefit at a younger age too.

[thefield]

I know that my all girls high school made me who I am today.

I'm involved in my school's Alumnae Board now, and the work they're doing now is even more impressive.

[4speedy]

Feb 27, 2015 19:04:18 GMT -5 melmaria said:

Feb 27, 2015 17:44:58 GMT -5 4speedy said:

There are single sex private schools that are non parochial.  Also, there  is a very good charter STEM program for just girls in our town.  It's not exactly public school or private school, kind of in between.

I'm fairly sure all of the private same sex options in my area (DC) are either parochial or completely unaffordable (like $30k+ per year). But kids are a long way off for me so I haven't looked into it that closely

Check out charter schools when the time comes.  More and more are popping up, especially STEM schools.  It seems to be the latest trend.  Those are free/publicly funded.

[2doxies]

All-girls high school, here. The biggest benefit for me was that I never felt any pressure to play down my intelligence. I definitely started feeling that in my co-ed public middle school. It absolutely helped I'm college and beyond.

[pt716]

I am interested in learning more about single sex education, maybe it would have been helpful for me to gain more confidence. Do they typically teach in different ways than a co-ed school? I did well with the traditional way of teaching math and science.

[orangeblossom]

Feb 27, 2015 21:23:45 GMT -5 pt716 said:

I am interested in learning more about single sex education, maybe it would have been helpful for me to gain more confidence. Do they typically teach in different ways than a co-ed school? I did well with the traditional way of teaching math and science.

I don't know that we were taught differently, so much as we're were always told to be confident. We were told we were the best. We were expected to act like ladies, but still the same time speak up and encouraged to question things. 

Our school had had a lot of traditions, and getting to experience those traditions kept you on track, knowing you were doing the same thing tens of thousands of other women experienced. 

We we also had big sister/little sister program within the school, to help you forge ahead. 

[orangeblossom]

Feb 27, 2015 21:39:21 GMT -5 @kirkette said:

I used to be against single sex schools.
However, I've really come around to them over the past few years, since having Kirklette.

Can I ask why you used to be against them?

[katie4253]

I went to a women's college and loved it for many of the same reasons as the article.

[orangeblossom]

Feb 27, 2015 21:56:55 GMT -5 @kirkette said:

Feb 27, 2015 21:40:35 GMT -5 orangeblossom said:

Can I ask why you used to be against them?

It wasn't anything academic related. It was two fold. 
1) When I decided to go to a public high school, and pissed off my family, I was threatened with Catholic high school (either single sex, or joint)  as punishment. Like "If you mess up at public high X,  you're going to Connelly, Rosary, or Mater Dei".  

2) I didn't really think the setting would suit me. I tend to fare better in male dominated environments, even as an adult. I had a small handful of female friends, but didn't have larger groups of girlfriends until well into college.

After being in education for awhile, I change my tune and saw how single sex education is a necessary part of the educational landscape.

Thanks for responding. 

I hope more same sex schools and/or classes become available, and districts and parents see the value in them.  

[mcfelix]

I went to a coed public school but I absolutely see the value in single sex education. I am generally pro public school while DH is adamant our kids will go private. But the single sex aspect is one of the things I really like about the private schools we will consider when the time comes.

[litebright]

I think my all-girls, Catholic HS experience was the best possible choice my parents could have made for me. It got me out of a tiny, rural school system without a single AP course, where social life on the weekends for a large percentage of the town revolved around football and basketball games (read: boys) and the clique scene was pretty vicious, in part because you went to school with the exact same people, minus or plus 3-4, for your entire K-12 education.

My Catholic HS, OTOH, was far more diverse (both in terms of race and religion -- a fair number of Muslim and Hindu families sent their daughters there for the excellent education); prized smarts over social or sports success; and sports had what I consider a far more appropriate role, with plenty of opportunities and enthused support but never a primary focus or what we were 'known' for.

As a student, I adored it and I blossomed with a group of incredible friends. I made the switch just as things with boys/socially were particularly difficult and it was a relief to have that part of my life de-emphasized and my value in other areas emphasized. As a parent, though, and particularly as a parent of a kid with SN, I realize what a rarified place it was and have some mixed feelings. Yes, they made efforts to make it accessible for some families of lower SES, but there were no kids with SN -- or if they had them, they were of a level that would go unnoticed (and unsupported) in class. And the one girl who got pregnant during my four years there was no longer allowed to attend.

I loved my school, and I love what same-sex education did for me during that period of my life. We'll consider it (for HS but not before), but I am far from convinced that we'll actually go that route (or that, with DD being on the autism spectrum, it is even an option for her). We live in a very different situation than my parents, too -- in a suburb with a much larger school district -- so I'm grateful that we have plenty of options for schools.