Weekday evening routines

[ringstrue]

Can we talk about which adults does what and how often? And how you came to that agreement?

I've realized that lately I'm doing the majority of the food and the only one bathing the baby. We have several things that we switch off every other day but that can get confusing if someone is out for an evening or we just forget.

Eta: I feel like I need to make a freaking chore chart to keep it all straight but I dunno if that will be ill-received.

[everafter07]

Generally I cook and clean up, H bathes DD and then we both do her bedtime routine together. H can't cook unless it's from a box, and DD likes when H gives her a bath more than me, since he's more play and I'm more business, so that's how it worked itself out to be this way.

[Brie]

I do it all. My H works late most weeknights. If he is home, it's usually just in time to read a bedtime story.

[arebee]

H does the evenings. Usually I cook and clean up and he takes DD and does bottle, bath, PJs, and bedtime.

H used to just do bottle and PJs because she wouldn't go to sleep for him. Once she grew out of that he started doing bedtime too. She goes to bed at 7 so if he didn't do the evening stuff he wouldn't really get to see DD.

[dancingirl21]

3 nights out of 5, it's mostly me because of DH's schedule. When he is home, I make dinner and he cleans up. We both go upstairs and get J ready for bed but trade off bath night. We also trade off rocking and reading stories before putting him in his crib.

[gibbinator]

Dh watches the baby (and 2yr old if ds1 agreeable) while I prepare supper. I get supper for ds1&2, then dh and get ours. Dh finishes first and immediately starts kitchen clean up. I sit with both kids until they're done then we hang out and play until dh finishes cleaning.
I then put ds2 down for a cat nap.
When I am done I take ds1 for a shower and dh gets to relax a bit until ds2 wakes up (so 10-15mins).
Ds1 and I then go read books and do Jammie, teeth etc for a half hour.
Dh brings ds2 up around 7pm, we all do books for about 10 mins, then dh puts ds1 to bed, and I head downstairs with ds2 and wait for a half hour before he's ready for sleep (dh is usually out of ds1's room by then). Then I put him to bed (he's asleep by 8:15 usually).
Dh gets to enjoy another 30-45 mins to himself while I get ds2 to sleep.
Finally both kids are asleep and I sit alone on my couch actively warding off all attempts my cats make at trying to snuggle.

[spanikopita]

We have 2 kids so I take one, he takes the other. I do all food & cleanup though bc I SAH and we eat before H gets home 90% of the time.

[july]

I usually make dinner. Sometimes he does when it is swim night. He usually cleans up after dinner. He usually bathes her. Dang, I am lazy.

[cinco]

DH works nights so most often it is just me. It actually works a little more smoothly those days b/c I can drill sgt my way through On DH's days off he plays with the kids while I cook dinner, then we watch a show, do showers (I do the girls, he does DS). We take turns doing stories for the younger two. DD1 reads on her own and just needs a kiss and hug.

[dukesilver]

We typically get home around the same time (6pm). DH entertains DD while I get dinner together and run around stuffing diapers, setting up coffee, packing lunches, etc. Then we eat dinner. After dinner DH gets her ready for bed, and reads her a couple of books while I clean up from dinner and do other chores. Then I nurse and cuddle her while he finishes up whatever I didn't get done. She goes to bed between 7 and 7:30.

[cobber06]

I don't think H has ever given the girls a bath. He works nights, so I watch the girls/put them to bed. He usually does most of the cooking, and then I clean after he has gone to work and the girls have gone to bed.

[Deleted]

I do all the food and feed the Kids. This came to be because H isn't home until 545/6 and I'm home at 345.

I physically bathe the kids hut H gets the girls lotioned, dispered, and into pjs. I do Js lotion and pjs. Then we all read books. Then I nurse girls to sleep one at a time while H hangs out wih the other ones. Then either I read j more books or H does. We alternate.

I usually do dinner clean up and pick up downstairs whIle H eats dinner and the kids finish up eating. When they finish I finish cleaning up while H plays with them. This is also because h gets home later and he doesn't see the kids as much as I do.

You can see I'm doing the bulk of the work but it's because I want H to get time with the kids. I have the luxury of having a flexible job that provides for me to have afternoons with the Kids. H does take the kids almost every weekend morning though while I sleep in. So I feel it's a trade off.

[dcrunnergirl52]

Most nights, I get home with the kids around 5pm. I make a quick dinner for the kids, and they are eating by 5:30pm or so. DH gets home around then, and we hang out with the kids as they eat and he helps with dinner.

Every other day, after dinner, he takes all three upstairs and gives them baths, while I clean up dinner. After bath, he puts DS2 into PJs and I get DD and DS1 into PJs and comb hair.

On non-bath nights or after baths, we all hang out until DS2's bedtime around 6:30pm or so. DH puts DS2 to bed while I clean up toys with DD and DS1 and put on TV for them. They watch TV for about 45 minutes, while I exercise or do just general house/work stuff and DH plays on his computer.

We both do bedtime with DD and DS1 around 7:45pm, and then DH and I eat dinner together. We've tried eating dinner as a family a few times, but our dining room is small and it was just a PITA, so instead, we eat after the kids are in bed, and enjoy just talking to them and hanging out with them as they eat dinner when they get home from school.

[VillainV]

We all get home around 4:30-5. I start prepping our dinner (cut veggies, etc) while my husband feeds the baby. Then we all go upstairs and play until about 6. We both put him in jammies, then one of us will cuddle with him/read a book and put him to sleep (we trade off) while the other picks up the play room and feeds the cat. Then I finish making dinner. After dinner, my husband does the dishes and cleans up the kitchen. Then we watch TV/veg/whatever until our bedtime. We each prep our own stuff for the next morning (set clothes out, pack lunch, get C's daycare bag ready).

[yellowbrkrd]

DH works from home most days so he cooks dinner and has it mostly ready by the time I get home with M. We eat dinner together as a family, clean him up and then usually play together as a family for 30 minutes to an hour.

DH then bathes M while I start cleaning up our dinner mess.

After M is in bed we usually split the duties to get dishes washed, diaper laundry started, lunches packed and vacuuming.

[ssmjlm]

We split basically everything 50/50. DH and E get home and he starts dinner. I get home and help get her started on dinner.

Then we'll trade off bath time and bedtime.

[lulu21]

I do everything except put J into bed and brush his teeth. H helps with that.

[andthentherewere10]

I get home with baby. Nurse baby who naps. DH feeds horses. I go out and muck when baby wakes up. I come in and prep dinner, diaper bag, etc. H feeds dogs, cat, and goes back out to the barn to turn out horses. We eat. H cleans up dishes. At some point one of us puts DS to bed depending on his level of tiredness. Often time he goes to bed without eating with us but he's eaten some BLW stuff between all those chores.

[rikki]

I cook dinners or pick up the take out/go to the grocery store. I get 4 Plated meals delivered each week and cook those and then usually order out the rest. I usually pick up too while he entertains Elijah.

We both do baths, brush teeth, read books, and tuck in. It is my favorite part of the day.

[humpforfree]

I SAH. I make supper and try to have it mostly ready- I clean up most as I go. H gets home around 4-5 usually. We eat around 5-5:30. We pick up the table while L plays- I typically leave the dishes in the sink until the next day. If it's a bath night (rarely, lol) I take L to the tub while H picks up the supper. Around 6:30 or so I do PJs and teeth, I nurse and then plop him in bed at 7.

H does a lot of the playing when he gets home. Often will play so I can finish supper. I am not good at playing on the floor, and I enjoy cooking, so I like that time in the kitchen by myself.

[bowies]

My H cooks - clean up is a combo of both of us. He generally does the dishes and feeds the dogs while I nurse DS. We both feed DS solids and do bath/PJs/story together.

In the morning my H washes pump parts and gets bottles ready while I nurse.

I know I'm very lucky.

[redpenmama]

I do it all. H eats the dinner and carries DD up on his back for bath and bed. That is the extent of his participation in evening activities.

[wavepool]

In the winter, H gets home first and cleans/picks up the house. I pick up O and either go to the Y with him or come home and we all go on a walk. I cook dinner while H plays with O, we all eat, we both clean up, we all play, then I always bathe/do bedtime.

Fall and spring, I do pretty much everything.

Summer, we're both off, but I still do most of the cooking and all of bedtime. My H has really come in strong with the house cleaning and I'm totally fine with hanging out with O while he does that!

ETA: You asked how we arrived at this routine. I'd say it just shook out this way. No choice during his season of me doing everything, and offseason just happened this way. From the beginning, my H has had the mindset of he'll take care of me, I'll take care of O, which had to change some because sometimes taking care of me means he needs to take care of O.

[pinkdutchtulips]

another do it aller here

when dd was a baby/toddler

we'd get home bt 6-6:30p - get dinner done and eaten by 7-7:30p, clean up while xh watched her, get her ready for bed starting at 8p (bath every other day) and tucked in by 8:30p

i'd be in bed by 9p bc i'd have to be up again at 5a to be out the door w/ dd by 6a.

[starlily]

Right now, H is a SAHD so he:
- puts the DD2 to bed
- plays with DD1 while I cook
- cleans up after dinner
- puts DD1 to bed

I:
- run any errands
- pick up DD1
- cook dinner

It wasn't much different while he was working, except we didn't have the baby yet. It just evolved that way based on who got home when, and who is the better cook.

[aqualuv]

Currently:

H cooks dinner or we order out. I unpack bottles, put pumped milk in the refrigerator. I usually play with L while dinner is prepped. I nurse L and then we eat dinner. One of us feeds L. If it's bath night we both give him a bath. One of us does pj's and together we take turns reading a story, sing our song and then L gets nursed to sleep. Our day starts early so sometimes I'm falling asleep after L does or I get up to try to prep for the next day. Unfortunately we are busy in the morning too due to lack of prep at night. H wakes up to prep bottles, pack my pump parts and make us smoothies. I take a shower/get dressed, wake up L and then nurse before leaving. H packs diaper bag and takes my work bag and diaper bag to the car to start it. H carries L to the car since we are still using the bucket seat. I do drop offs and pick ups so it's super helpful to have his help since my day is longer than his.

[pescalita]

I'll preface by saying that H is the opposite of lazy, and generally we don't have "pulling your weight" issues, fairness is very high on both our lists.

His work schedule is earlier, so he does pick up and starts dinner. I get home and occupy the kids and help out getting food on the table as I can. Then we all walk. If it's bath night, he gets it ready while I get the kids undressed, then I bathe while he changes sheets and lays out clothes. We each take a kid to get dressed, and read books/sing/say goodnight together (they share a room).

It's all me in the am, but I sleep in a little. We share dishes and laundry and have a housekeeper for the real cleaning.

[dcn]

Ds and I get home around 4:30, I make dinner. Dh gets home between 5-5:30, we eat. Dh cleans up kitchen a bit, we all hang out until 6:45/7. Then we do bath on bath nights, dh does teeth, I do pjs, and we all read a book. Then dh reads another book, songs, and lights out.

I finish tidying the kitchen and pack lunches, dh comes down to help and preps coffee etc.

This is the most equally distributed time of the day, otherwise I do most other things since I am home more.

[azurely]

We both get home around the same time.

I clean bottles, wash pump parts, and get bottles and new pump parts ready for the next day. I prefer to do it myself, because I have a system and it drives me crazy if H messes it up, lol.

H cleans out the diaper bag and refills it every night with bibs, burp cloths, diapers, etc.

We both empty the dishwasher, do dishes, and clean up the kitchen at night, but I probably do it a little more often, since I am in there more.

I do 80% of the laundry, but H will help with switching loads over and folding some stuff. I like things folded a certain way though, so I do most of it. I try to do laundry on the weekends, but usually end up doing a load a few nights a week.

I usually plan and make dinner, but lately H has been doing most of the cooking since I'm usually feeding C when it's dinner time.

We do bath time together, but that's only two nights a week.

[fbf2006]

My husband typically does mornings (breakfast, bath time). During the week, I dress up the kid as my husband showers. On weekends, he tends to let me sleep in.
I drop off and pick up from daycare (on the way to/from work...walking distance) and tend to do dinner and bedtime. We typically have dinner cooked on the weekends by my husband so it's mostly just heating up. When I work late at work, especially during month end close, my husband does pick up, dinner and bedtime.
I do dishes, laundry and general keep up of the flat. He does the cooking and cleans the bathroom.