Salon - When Sex Becomes a Chore

[mskitkat]

Mostly same old, same old, but worth a read.

www.salon.com/2015/02/28/when_sex_becomes_chore_partner/

I absolutely wanted to smack the woman who took 4 months to get pregnant with her first and then referred to her "ability not to conceive" with a heavy dose of "just relax!"

[EllenGriswold]

Eh, I'm not impressed. It seemed very "Geez ladies, just stop worrying so much all the time and then you will automatically become hyper-fertile and not make your husband so sad." Whatever. I hated that whole "don't become like Diane's friend" part as well. Maybe she spent money on ttc because she had real fertility issues that aren't solved by a pole dancing class. I hate that it seems like they are blaming women for their own struggles to get pregnant. I agree that it's not necessarily healthy to stop having sex "for fun" while ttc but all this, just relax business is annoying.

[belle55]

This seems like a good article to read for someone who is just getting started TTC. But its worthless and frankly kind of insulting for those who have been at it longer. I hate the "just relax and it will happen" mindset.

[mskitkat]

I think I liked it because we've been at it so long, sex sucks anymore. DH and I have had several fights about how the only time we have sex, it's for ttc purposes. Then it doesn't work - again - and I'm even more miserable about it. I needed a reminder that sex is generally supposed to be fun.

[july]

I tried the relax attitude at first and didn't end up pregnant after a few months. I added the temping and then opks. I hated the schedule aspect of it and gave up too early for two months because I was ovulating later than I expected and we were both burned out. The month I got pregnant, I bought new lingere and never had sex in the bedroom. I wouldn't say that these things did anything, but it made the process more fun. We had more spontaneous stuff since then. I am trying the ride that wave into this month so it doesn't become a stressful process again.

I do see the frustration for ttc for a long time.