I'm in tears

[aliciaflorrick]

Ugh, they are both asses. Him for saying it and her for repeating it. Hugs and know this is not about you and more about their own issues.

[Elsa]

Your aunt is kind of an asshole for telling you this.

I think you need to work on not caring what they think. If they aren't realizing everything you have going for you, everything you've accomplished, then they are missing out. That is on them. I know how much it sucks when you disappoint your parents. But you've done nothing to earn that disappointment and the sooner you realize that the better off you'll be

[CurlyQ284]

I'm so sorry. I hate that they are so unsupportive. I would have minimal contact until the wedding and then cut it off. You really don't need this in your life. I also WTF your aunt for repeating that. How is that helpful?
((Hugs))

[Deleted]

I'm so sorry. I'd at least limit contact with them as much as possible. Have you tried counseling? Once you get past the whole "trying to be good enough" thing, then you will be much happier. ((hugs))

[Jalapeñomel]

Fuck them. You know you have been successful, regardless if they see it or not.

[Kit]

I'm sorry. I'm judging your aunt for repeating what he said, though.

Hell with what they say, it sounds like you are doing great and so is your son! ((hugs))

[deanlicker78]

You are kick ass and your family blows.

[Deleted]

What they think of you doesn't matter! It's what you think of you. And sounds like you are doing a great job and are happy with your life, right? Hold your head high and be proud of what you've accomplished.

And screw them for judging you.

[Deleted]

Geez, you are light years ahead of where I was at 30. They should be cheering you on, not tearing you down. Sorry your family is full of assholes.

[alicenelson]

I'm sorry, TMM.  Your aunt telling you that served no purpose but to hurt your feelings and stir shit.  What an ugly thing to do.  You should be proud of your accomplishments.  Don't let your father, or her, bring you down.

[wambam]

WTF? I'm so sorry you had to hear that.

[Deleted]

I'm so sorry. Families can be such horrid assholes and parents can be especially hurtful. You are enough, you are wonderful, and your son's happiness/success is a reflection of that. You own a home and vehicle and you pay your bills, you're more fortunate than many others. The only thing you can change is your parenting as a reflection of what he's done to you all your life. My FIL does things like this to my husband in a passive aggressive manner and I'm waiting on the time he does it in front of me because I am going to take him apart (verbally, of course). I know it likely will not change him (and doing so probably wouldn't change your father)but it will make me feel better and my husband knows what type of parent he WON'T be because of it.

[blondemoment123]

What jerkoffs.

[anlo]

What a shitty thing for him to say. I'm sorry he sucks.

Can you ask your aunt not to share things like this in the future? "I am not interested in his derogatory comments about me, aunt. Thanks for understanding."

[05heel]

I hope you know those things aren't true. What did your aunt say to him? What she should have done is defended you vehemently, and not said anything to you at all outside of, "btw, your dad is an asswipe, but I shut him down this morning." If she can't do that then she sucks and you should absolutely be upset with her. Remember that your title says you're in tears, but could also say that your aunt made you cry for no good reason.

[prairiedawn]

i HATE when people feel the need to impart information like that just for the sake of being the one to get to tell. you're incredible!! i ADORE your instagram pics of your big kindergartener! you're killing this whole adulthood thing.

[bostogriff]

What a jerk!  Unless you're asking him for money, your financial state is none of his business.  "Good" money is different for everyone. It all depends on how you manage it.  It's very sad that he judges you the way he does, especially since you still have two siblings living at home.  What kind of example is he setting for them?  Cheer up and try not to let it get to you.  You're doing great, regardless of what he thinks.

[Muddled]

You are too good for this.

Quit telling your dad things. He should mot know how much you make or how much you paid for your house.

I would have a chat with aunt, too, and just let her know that you appreciate her concern, but you don't need or want to hear these things.

Huge hugs. You rock.

[Monica Geller]

I'm sorry.

[spellingbea]

I'm side-eyeing your aunt right now. What could possibly have been gained by making you feel shitty? You're doing a great job, and have accomplished quite a bit at a young age. I was a total mess at that point in life.

And it goes without saying, but your dad is a total fuckhead.

[livinitup]

You're aunt was right. She SHOULDN'T have told you that.

Your father was feeling sorry for himself, feeling woe-is-me, 'my daughter is living her own life and not listening to me', not letting me help her, blah blah blah - and dumped on his sister a bit. Her sharing this CRAP with you is HORRIBLE.

This is the ONLY important part of your post:

I own a 3bed/2bath, 1250 sq ft house. I have a new car. I make a good amount of money. My son is doing well in school. He has friends, is so bright and sweet. He's received two major awards for Kindergarteners this year.

YOU are happy with YOU and YOUR decisions. Stop getting sucked into anyone else's approval. I know it is hard, but seriously - do it.

[justemily]

I have to agree with Nugget on this one - it wasn't right of your Aunt to tell you that stuff

I'm sorry your dad is an asshole - but you have NOTHING to be ashamed of! It sounds like you have made a great life for you and your son and you should be PROUD of that!

[livinitup]

Mar 2, 2015 10:11:07 GMT -5 fussybutt14 said:

I literally just ended contact with my parents last weekend. They do not like the fact that my H stays home with our DD, and I work. We do struggle financially, but I don't want DD in daycare, so we do what we have to do. They wanted me to pack up with DD and move in with them (no H) instead. They'd rather me tear apart my family, than stay here, struggle some, but be happy. I'm sorry you are going thru this, it sucks, I know. ((Hugs))

Wow, beachgirl79, that's a big update. Did you find a place to live? I remember your parents wanted the title to your DH's truck to co-sign for an apartment and it was a major stressor for your marriage. You were so afraid of being homeless - sounds like you and your DH are back to being a team. Hugs that it worked-out.

[Deleted]

Mar 2, 2015 9:50:18 GMT -5 Elsa said:

Your aunt is kind of an asshole for telling you this.

I think you need to work on not caring what they think. If they aren't realizing everything you have going for you, everything you've accomplished, then they are missing out. That is on them. I know how much it sucks when you disappoint your parents. But you've done nothing to earn that disappointment and the sooner you realize that the better off you'll be

This ^^ is all so right on.  I'm sorry this is happening to you, @themommymonster.

[Muddled]

Mar 2, 2015 10:33:17 GMT -5 @themommymonster said:

Mar 2, 2015 10:24:39 GMT -5 Muddled said:

You are too good for this.

Quit telling your dad things. He should mot know how much you make or how much you paid for your house.

I would have a chat with aunt, too, and just let her know that you appreciate her concern, but you don't need or want to hear these things.

Huge hugs. You rock.

Literally the first words out of his mouth when I told him I bought a house was, "What is the interest rate?" Not, "Congrats! Wonderful! I'm so proud of you."

When my mom asked last week what my car payment was on my new car I simply said, "I got a good deal."

This is great progress.

[W.T.Faulkner]

I've often found that people who are deeply dissatisfied with their own lives are the most critical.

Your dad's and aunt's words and actions are a reflection of themselves, not you.

[pantsparty]

I am so sorry You should be proud of your accomplishments.

[Nicole]

i'm sorry you are having to deal with judgmental assholes. you have many things to be proud of!

[mrsukyankee]

It's not surprising that you are trying to still win your parents' approval. From day one they have probably tried to make you work harder and harder to get it and then pull it away. Glad you are in therapy to work through this as your past with them has definitely helped you develop some core issues and ways of thinking about yourself that are negative, even though you are an amazing person. You are. You are amazing.

[greenley]

This is on him, not you.  You have made a good life for yourself and should be happy and proud of those choices!  Please don't let his cynical or judgemental nature get you down.  And, I agree that your aunt should have just kept that tidbit to herself.  It's unnecessary and just plain hurtful.