Someone explain you all to me.

[Deleted]

Why is "You all" suddenly deemed an offensive term on the internet?



I have been "called out" three times in the last week for using it. The latest being in the baby registry thread yesterday (in which I was joking for the most part and admitting to my own weirdness.)



It's just an expression, referring to the collective whole. Whether it be society, this board, people I know, life in general. I am fully aware the opinion of some is not the opinion of many, this board doesn't always have a general conensus, everyone's different etc. However, there is definitely a majority opinion and that's what I usual refer to when I type "you all."



Explain.

[Deleted]

Perhaps the polite equivalent is "y'all"? I'm not good at the South.

I think some take exception because they are Special Snowflakes and don't fall into any grouping of "all" and do not wish to.

Also: "all y'all" is something slightly different, I think.

[chickens987]

I've not followed the specific instances, but maybe it sounds like you're setting yourself apart from the collective and perhaps it sounds condescending as a result?

[sjh722]

It's better than the people who say "yous" to mean you, in plural.

That's all I've got.

[ssmjlm]

I had no idea it was.

Maybe the person just took it the wrong way?

I'm going to have to go read that thread I guess.

[Deleted]

Mar 3, 2015 9:32:48 GMT -5 chickens987 said:

I've not followed the specific instances, but maybe it sounds like you're setting yourself apart from the collective and perhaps it sounds condescending as a result?

It's probably in the middle.

Because we ALL don't have a rock n play and we ALL don't hate/love Taylor Swift or whatever. So setting yourself up as "better" than "you all" for being "different" doesn't work. Even if you mean it in a TIC self deprecating fashion.

[rbp]

Is it like "you people?" IDK, just guessing. English doesn't have a second-person plural pronoun, so "you all"/"y'all" is useful to specify that you're speaking to a group.

[Deleted]

Also: I prescribe more emoticons.

So many more emoticons.

It has increased my likability by 32%.

[changedname]

No idea about the threads in question but agree with others that maybe it is taken as "you commoners" and setting your self as superior? Unless you are from Mississippi and that is how you talk? Idk.

[cincodemayo]

I think people just take it personally when it's like a *finger pointing* you all.

[mrsfarmer]

I don't know the posts you are referring to, but when I read your OP, in my head I heard my MIL's sharp tone when she says this phrase. In that instance, it is not nice or used as a common phrase.

[SJ]

I just think everyone likes to be special snowflakes.

So if you say "You all love booze" then one person who never drinks booze will come in and say "What do you mean you all? We are not robots. I never drink except for once every other year on a Tuesday" blah blah blah

[anna7602]

Mar 3, 2015 9:35:49 GMT -5 rbp said:

Is it like "you people?" IDK, just guessing. English doesn't have a second-person plural pronoun, so "you all"/"y'all" is useful to specify that you're speaking to a group.

I'd like to head the movement to make a second-person plural in English. The "yous guys" of my home city doesn't cut it for me and I feel weird co-opting "y'all."

OP- I have no idea.

[Deleted]

Mar 3, 2015 9:35:03 GMT -5 @tokenhoser said:

Mar 3, 2015 9:32:48 GMT -5 chickens987 said:

I've not followed the specific instances, but maybe it sounds like you're setting yourself apart from the collective and perhaps it sounds condescending as a result?

It's probably in the middle.

Because we ALL don't have a rock n play and we ALL don't hate/love Taylor Swift or whatever. So setting yourself up as "better" than "you all" for being "different" doesn't work. Even if you mean it in a TIC self deprecating fashion.

That could be. I guess I'll have to check my "tone" from now on. I don't really mean it that way. I just mean it as I don't necessarily agree or disagree with everything all the time. It's hard to explain. I wasn't trying to pass special snowflake or be condescending to anyone who has what I do or don't. I was just explaining. 

This board has to know me well enough that I care about approximately 1% of what the rest of the internet does or what I have or don't comparatively.


And If I'm "better" because I don't own a RNP, I'll guess I'll take it/own it. Ha. ;P @tokenhoser.

I guess that every time I've used it and been "called out" it's been in random stupid threads with harmless conversation. Nothing ever serious/worthy of debate really.

[Deleted]

I also have a "tone" problem, so I feel you. I get how you mean stuff, but I get how people miss it.

[Deleted]

Mar 3, 2015 10:09:19 GMT -5 @tokenhoser said:

I also have a "tone" problem, so I feel you. I get how you mean stuff, but I get how people miss it.

I always want to be kind to people but I am honest, really honest. To a fault sometimes. 
So I totally see where people miss what I'm saying. 

But out of all the things I say on the internet "you all" is what is upsetting?  

I basically use "you all" so I don't have the type name of everyone on here. What else am I supposed to use instead when referring to a general well known opinion? Is board consensus better? Majority of the internet? 

[Deleted]

Mar 3, 2015 10:11:08 GMT -5 @this said:

I definitely fall into "you all." I'm a total sheep.

MMM tells me to buy a RNP and I say WHAT COLOR, SIR?

LOL. I have a house full of stuff the internet directed me to. 

I'm not trying to be different to be annoying. I promise! 

[SJ]

Just KOKO @justdairy. You are one of my favorites, and I don't think you have a tone problem.

Of course, no one died and made me the queen of MMM, so if YOU ALL feel otherwise, then maybe we do have a problem here

[undecidedowl]

Because you all seem to take offense to just about anything.

[anna7602]

Mar 3, 2015 10:12:42 GMT -5 @justdairy said:

Mar 3, 2015 10:09:19 GMT -5 @tokenhoser said:

I also have a "tone" problem, so I feel you. I get how you mean stuff, but I get how people miss it.

I always want to be kind to people but I am honest, really honest. To a fault sometimes. 
So I totally see where people miss what I'm saying. 

But out of all the things I say on the internet "you all" is what is upsetting?  

I basically use "you all" so I don't have the type name of everyone on here. What else am I supposed to use instead when referring to a general well known opinion? Is board consensus better? Majority of the internet? 

I just read the thread in question. I think it was the (perhaps erroneously read) tone of the whole response. although, based on how magical RNP-owners say that thing is, I'm surprised they gaf if someone doesn't have one.

We've all (there I go with "all") been jumped on for something at some point, so I guess it was your turn?

[barefootcontessa]

If you all is now an offensive term then I do not know what to say.

[Deleted]

Mar 3, 2015 10:16:21 GMT -5 @this said:

Mar 3, 2015 10:15:11 GMT -5 @justdairy said:

LOL. I have a house full of stuff the internet directed me to. 

I'm not trying to be different to be annoying. I promise! 

Have you purchased Baby Foot or a Neato yet? Those are "us all's" new things.

I have not purchased baby foot yet. On my next Amazon order for sure! I have however, purchased some similiar exfoliating product that sjh722 so kindly directed me too. 

I have a Neato on my birthday wish list. H wasn't agreeable to it right now. And I have to spend my gift cards on a wine fridge at the moment. 

But it's coming. I promise it will all be on my door in good time!  

We own every toy this board has ever suggested if that makes you feel better in the mean time.  

[cece]

I really don't think there was anything offensive about it. But then again, I am not easily offended.

[Deleted]

Mar 3, 2015 10:17:21 GMT -5 anna7602 said:

Mar 3, 2015 10:12:42 GMT -5 @justdairy said:

I always want to be kind to people but I am honest, really honest. To a fault sometimes. 
So I totally see where people miss what I'm saying. 

But out of all the things I say on the internet "you all" is what is upsetting?  

I basically use "you all" so I don't have the type name of everyone on here. What else am I supposed to use instead when referring to a general well known opinion? Is board consensus better? Majority of the internet? 

I just read the thread in question. I think it was the (perhaps erroneously read) tone of the whole response. although, based on how magical RNP-owners say that thing is, I'm surprised they gaf if someone doesn't have one.

We've all (there I go with "all") been jumped on for something at some point, so I guess it was your turn?

It's fine. I'm just honestly confused, not upset. 
And I do think it's strange that "they" think I'm being judgmental when the whole post was about judging baby registries (which is basically in a good fun sort of judgement in the first place, something to do when bored) and I was the one admitting you'd all have a field day with mine because there was nothing on it due to circumstances. I don't really see why that's so wrong or special snowflake, but I guess it's in the tone which I see.

And hey I got myself into this because @this was drumming her fingers wondering! Let's all blame her instead. JK.

Now did you all kill 15 minutes of your day? Good. This was post was worthwhile.  

[countthestars]

Mar 3, 2015 10:31:16 GMT -5 TamiTaylor said:

This is why everyone just needs to use y'all.

no.

[cece]

Mar 3, 2015 10:31:16 GMT -5 TamiTaylor said:

This is why everyone just needs to use y'all.

Y'all is better than yinz.





edited so the comment made sense.

[h]

I can't imagine why you all would be inherently offensive. I assume it must be a context thing where it is used to set people apart or stereotype.

I tend to alternate between you all, y'all, and you guys (never yous guys, though when speaking.

[Deleted]

Mar 3, 2015 10:37:35 GMT -5 @vicmo said:

Mar 3, 2015 10:12:42 GMT -5 @justdairy said:

I basically use "you all" so I don't have the type name of everyone on here. What else am I supposed to use instead when referring to a general well known opinion? Is board consensus better? Majority of the internet? 

How about "lots of people" or "many mmmers" or something that indicates a large number without setting it up as breezy me vs everyone?

That works. I will try that. 
But I have to ask, what does what's on my baby registry or not have to with me being breezey? It's not related at all. I didn't have much on my registry because I had buckets of handmedowns and therefore didn't need much.I never shamed anyone who didn't.  It has nothing to do with me being breezy or that I have magical babies who can function without gear. Because I don't. I have tons of it. 

I don't think it's fair to throw the two together in this case.

[Deleted]

Mar 3, 2015 10:45:06 GMT -5 @vicmo said:

Mar 3, 2015 10:42:01 GMT -5 @justdairy said:

That works. I will try that. 
But I have to ask, what does what's on my baby registry or not have to with me being breezey? It's not related at all. I didn't have much on my registry because I had buckets of handmedowns and therefore didn't need much.I never shamed anyone who didn't.  It has nothing to do with me being breezy or that I have magical babies who can function without gear. Because I don't. I have tons of it. 

I don't think it's fair to throw the two together in this case.

Your quote:

Mar 2, 2015 15:43:04 GMT -5 @justdairy said:

I should maybe rephrase it to I hate the stuff you all love. Like I got 18 swaddleMes and A&A blankets and 17 of them are still in the package. I don't get the love for super pricey bottles. I don't own a baby bath tub. I don't have a RNP. I don't get the point of a Wubbanub. 

Basically, I'm weird. And a baby gear minimalist. 

I'm still confused. I'm not trying to be obtuse here. I don't get how me not liking SwaddleMes makes me Breezy? I wasn't all, "Oh...I'm not going to put my kids in these on purpose!" My kids really didn't like them, so I took them off and that was the end of it. 

And yeah, compared to many people I am a gear minimalist as in I wasn't going to register for tons of things I didn't know I'd need or not. If I would have needed them I would have got them. I had just a lot of stuff given to me I decided to make work first and luckily 97% of it did.

It's more everyone's different than about being breezy. 

But Point Taken. Live and Learn.

[countthestars]

Mar 3, 2015 10:48:32 GMT -5 @justdairy said:

Mar 3, 2015 10:45:06 GMT -5 @vicmo said:

Your quote:

I'm still confused. I'm not trying to be obtuse here. I don't get how me not liking SwaddleMes makes me Breezy? I wasn't all, "Oh...I'm not going to put my kids in these on purpose!" My kids really didn't like them, so I took them off and that was the end of it. 

And yeah, compared to many people I am a gear minimalist as in I wasn't going to register for tons of things I didn't know I'd need or not. If I would have needed them I would have got them. I had just a lot of stuff given to me I decided to make work first and luckily 97% of it did.

It's more everyone's different than about being breezy. 

But Point Taken. Live and Learn.

I didn't read it this way the first time, but re-reading the quote that @vicmo quoted, I can see how it comes across as "better than you". Like "MY kids were just FINE with a cheap bottle and slept perfectly well without all those fancy RNPs that the rest of your babies NEEDED." A lot of people on here tried 14 bottles before they found one their kid would actually take and many people (maybe even you) were up every half hour all night with their babies and would try anything to get them to sleep longer stretches. It just comes across like the rest of us are silly for needing those things.