Help me convince H to give up his guns

[littlemisssunshine]

We own two hand guns and we are talking about TTC this fall. I do not want to have children and guns in the house but when I mentioned that to my H, he was adamant about keeping them. He sees it as protection. Two men tried to break in our old home while I was there about 4 years ago and he bought two guns as a reaction to that incident.  Nothing happened, they didn't even get in the home. 

H does not shoot them recreationally or hunt. They were bought as protection only. To make matters worse, H sleepwalks and has grabbed the gun he used to keep in the nightstand while he slept. I've woken up to the sound of a gun cocking and my sleeping H holding it. After that incident the guns went into the safe. Even kept in a safe I don't feel comfortable with guns in my home. 

 Are then any articles that I could use in my argument? I'm thinking about just putting my foot down and saying no kids until they are gone. But I want to back up my argument with statistics about why it's a bad idea. 

Or on the flip side, how would you store the guns to make you comfortable to have kids in the house? 

[knx9211]

1) He almost fired the gun in his sleep? Holy fuck. Well I'd say that's reason #1.

2) We have no guns in our home and I don't want them; but if H did, my first demand would be that guns and ammo should be stored in two separate places. I think that's pretty standard.

[zoomzoom]

Google 'Toddler shoots sibling' and show him the many, many links to stories of this happening.

Just this year: fox4kc.com/2015/01/19/9-month-old-dies-after-being-shot-in-the-head-by-older-brother-in-nw-mo/

Horrifying.

[malibu]

Mar 3, 2015 13:55:49 GMT -5 littlemisssunshine said:

To make matters worse, H sleepwalks and has grabbed the gun he used to keep in the nightstand while he slept. I've woken up to the sound of a gun cocking and my sleeping H holding it. After that incident the guns went into the safe.

Duuuuuude. WTAF.

[ninjabridemom]

www.buzzfeed.com/rachelzarrell/evolve-playthings-gun-safety-ad

If that (plus the previous incident) doesn't convince him I'd probably divorce him. (ETA if having kids is important to you, I mean)

[knx9211]

Mar 3, 2015 13:58:46 GMT -5 AutumnRose25 said:

Mar 3, 2015 13:55:49 GMT -5 littlemisssunshine said:

OMFG. 

I just can't.

The only answer here is no guns because your H is a fucking dumbass. 

They should have always been in the safe....and why is he keeping loaded guns in a nightstand?

I feel like I have to quote this just so OP has to read it twice.

If my H was such an irresponsible gun owner, the guns wouldn't have just been placed in a safe - they would have been gone.

[Deleted]

Mar 3, 2015 13:57:26 GMT -5 knx9211 said:

1) He almost fired the gun in his sleep? Holy fuck. Well I'd say that's reason #1.

2) We have no guns in our home and I don't want them; but if H did, my first demand would be that guns and ammo should be stored in two separate places. I think that's pretty standard.

Uh. Yeah, this. 


We have guns as well. They are in a safe that requires multiple steps to open and they are not loaded. 

[ninjabridemom]

Mar 3, 2015 13:55:49 GMT -5 littlemisssunshine said:

Or on the flip side, how would you store the guns to make you comfortable to have kids in the house? 

We don't have guns. I hate them.

The family members that do have safes away from curious eyes and fingers.

[Deleted]

I mean, cocking a gun in his sleep should be enough of a reason for him to give up the guns all on his own.

[gummybear]

In the words of my 3-year-old, "What in the FUDGE?!?"

None of this is OK. Regardless of whether or not you have children the guns need to go now. Are you absolutely certain he couldn't open a safe while sleepwalking? I've heard of people making entire meals so it's not out of the question. He needs help.

[LeggsBenedict]

holy shit, dude.

[Deleted]

I don't have guns in my home, but I know people who do own guns for hunting. They keep the guns and ammunition locked away in separate safes.

There have been many unfortunate news stories just this year of children getting access to guns and subsequent tragedy. A simple google search will bring up dozens of recent stories.

In my opinion, guns should not be in a home where there are children. It also sounds to me that your husband has had no gun training and has no understanding of gun safety and storage. That's an accident waiting to happen, and it's entirely preventable. I would be terrified for my own safety, let alone that of any future children, with a loaded gun in the house. I would lay down an ultimatum. The guns have to go, or no kids. Guns kept for protection are very likely to end up used against you or discharged accidentally, with disastrous consequences. It's not worth it - you should invest in a home security system instead.

[thedude]

Holy shit. If you have guns in your house, they need to be locked up and kept separate from bullets. But that still requires both adults to be comfortable w them being in the house in the first place. You aren't comfortable, so they need to go. Tell your H it doesn't work for you. Need stories? Remind him he sleepwalks and has pulled the gun out in his sleep bc he wasn't smart enough to lock them up. Show him any one of the almost weekly articles in the national news about kids getting a hold of guns.

I wrote all that, but really it comes down to your H is an idiot. End of story.

[G22]

Yea there is so much crazy in your post. No way in hell my H would still have his guns after that incident. Nope.

To answer your question, my H has a few guns. He hunts and recreationally goes to the range here and there. The ammo/guns are NOT stored together, the guns are never loaded in the house, and we are in the process of buying a locked a safe now that we are pregnant.

[Deleted]

Mar 3, 2015 14:03:05 GMT -5 tillie said:

When I read your thread topic I was ready to defend your H, until I read the details. I would tell him to choose the guns and a divorce or TTC. 

My DH has guns and I am fully support safely owning guns, but your DH is not safe with them.

There's no way I would allow a nightstand gun, loaded or not, with a sleepwalker in the house.  WTF are you both thinking?

[EmilieMadison]

Statistics will mean shit to him if he doesn't see the huge fucking issue with improperly storing, and almost firing a gun IN HIS SLEEP. He's an irresponsible gun owner, no question. If  If this is a deal breaker for you, then either you hold off on TTC until he agrees to get rid of the guns, or you dont have kids. I dont know what else to tell you. Get an alarm system. That will wake both of you up, notify police, and almost certainly scare away any potential burglars before they even come into your home. 

[speckledfrog]

Mar 3, 2015 14:05:32 GMT -5 deej said:

Mar 3, 2015 13:57:26 GMT -5 knx9211 said:

1) He almost fired the gun in his sleep? Holy fuck. Well I'd say that's reason #1.

2) We have no guns in our home and I don't want them; but if H did, my first demand would be that guns and ammo should be stored in two separate places. I think that's pretty standard.

This times about 1000000.

A childhood friend was killed in January by a loaded gun kept in a friend's drawer.  He left behind a 4 year old, 3 year old, and a pregnant wife. Does your husband want to be the dead one in that scenario? 

Or would he prefer to be the widower grieving his wife that was shot by his 2 year old, which also happened this year?

There are so many statistics that show gun owners are far more likely to die because of their guns than as a result of a home invasion, but if he keeps guns after sleepwalking with them, I really don't know if he's intelligent enough to understand statistics.

Or the bereaved parent who accidentally shot his kid who came in the bedroom because he had a scary dream.

[LeggsBenedict]

Mar 3, 2015 14:06:27 GMT -5 mofongo said:

Get rid of them, appropriately, when he's not home. Seriously.

I would do this with no remorse. and there would be a fuckton of conversations about it.

[zoomzoom]

Also, google sleep shooting. IT HAPPENS. Get rid of the guns.

thedailybanter.com/2014/06/shouldnt-sleep-guns/

[knx9211]

Threads like these always make me feel kind of bad for nagging DH for not putting his dishes in the dishwasher. Yes, it's annoying, but I'm not married to a dangerous moron, so I guess I have it pretty good.

[Deleted]

I honestly wouldn't ttc until the guns are gone, this is a deal breaker for me.

I'm sure you can google plenty of articles about accidental shootings and kids and hopefully that will convince him.

[noodleoo]

OMG NO. This wouldn't even be a question. I would have no tolerance for guns in the home. I would stick with no TTC until the guns are gone, but honestly, since you let him buy them in the first place, I can see this turning into a huge conflict between you guys.

I know this isn't helpful, but I could not be married to a gun owner. That's a dealbreaker for me.

[thinkofthesoldiers]

I was going to come in here in support of responsible gun ownership, however your husband is not responsible, and I wouldn't have a baby with him. And actually I'm judging you even considering having a baby with anyone who is this willfully ignorant and irresponsible. Unfortunately, you won't change his mind.

[pittsmcgee]

Is this for real?

Why are YOU even still sleeping in that house? Never mind bringing children into this fuckery.

Holy shit.

edited because no one should brine children. NO ONE.

[Deleted]

Mar 3, 2015 14:12:00 GMT -5 tillie said:

Mar 3, 2015 14:08:43 GMT -5 AutumnRose25 said:

This makes me LOL because the fact that your husband carries them in public because he feels unsafe around other people who might have guns really isn't much more responsible or safe. 

Not going in this circle again, however, I think you would be shocked if you actually knew how many people (legally) carried concealed weapons. 

I'm not shocked, I know it happens and it just makes me mad.

[littlemisssunshine]

Mar 3, 2015 14:07:26 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

littlemisssunshine, come back to this post. I really want to know how he justifies keeping guns in the house when he sleepwalks with them.

They went into the safe that night and have not been taken out since. Ammo is stored separately. 

He wouldn't be able to get into the safe while asleep as it requires a key where only I know where it is, so I am comfortable with that arrangement. However having kids in the house changes that for me. Since we don't go to the shooting range or hunt, having guns seems pointless.

I was hoping for some concrete quotable facts, statistics or articles.  People calling my H an idiot isn't helping me.  

[wambam]

Mar 3, 2015 14:12:56 GMT -5 pittsmcgee said:

Is this for real?

Why are YOU even still sleeping in that house? Never mind brining children into this fuckery.

Holy shit.

Brining children LULZ

[BaliHai]

[Nonny]

If your H was a responsible gun owner, which he clearly is not, I'd suggest two gun safes (one for the guns and one for the ammo) plus trigger locks for the guns.

But a schmuck who keeps a loaded gun in his nightstand and then sleepwalks with it, and doesn't see why that wouldn't be safe with kids. Yeah, I don't think we can help you convince him he's being an irresponsible dipshit. 

[EmilieMadison]

Mar 3, 2015 14:12:00 GMT -5 tillie said:

Mar 3, 2015 14:08:43 GMT -5 AutumnRose25 said:

This makes me LOL because the fact that your husband carries them in public because he feels unsafe around other people who might have guns really isn't much more responsible or safe. 

Not going in this circle again, however, I think you would be shocked if you actually knew how many people (legally) carried concealed weapons. 

That doesn't make them or your husband a responsible gun owner.