can you negotiate better benefits with the new opportunity? I wouldn't dismiss it entirely especially if this is something you're really passionate about.
Here's hoping!
I have what I consider to be a dream job. Luckily for me I have enough flexibility so that it works well for my family. I do wish the $$ was better and that is something that I'm working on, but for me it would be crazy to turn down what I have now for more money somewhere else.
I'll answer this from another side for you as I don't have kids. I mentioned before that I went into Higher Ed for the fulfillment of doing something good for others. And there is A LOT of joy in seeing people accomplish goals and take jobs that they have been working for hard toward. Shoot, one girl even got her kids back after graduation/getting a job that could support them. That said, I don't work hand in hand with the students; my front line staff of faculty, advisors, and financial aid officers do. I don't get a ton of that "feel" good because I am so far from it, though I believe very much in our mission and our students. Even without kids, my job does NOT define who I am/fulfill complete personal fulfillment. It allows me to live a very nice lifestyle, be on Boards for orgs I am passionate about, have hobbies I enjoy, gives me flexibility in other ways, etc. I think you are going to be hard pressed to find anyone that says that their day to day job completely fulfills them personally. Its much like finding that "perfect" spouse - you may find one perfect for you, but they will still have days you do not like them and are fine not seeing them.
In other words, don't put too much on a career/role/hobby/volunteer opportunity/degree/etc to be the end all in your personal fulfillment. Find the right mix of all of these (including your children) and then you will be golden.
You make an excellent point here. Most of the decisions that I've come to regret over the years have started out with the thought, "My life will finally be perfect when I..."
I hope I've been down that road enough times now that I know better, but it's good to be reminded.
I'm a member of the "pay the bills, then save the world" camp. My job never has and never will "define" me. I had to turn down a job at a non-profit that I LOVE and have volunteered at for years because I would be struggling to pay the bills, would work long hours and I wouldn't have medical insurance.
Can you volunteer with the non-profit where it utilizes your skills?
I'm a member of the "pay the bills, then save the world" camp. My job never has and never will "define" me. I had to turn down a job at a non-profit that I LOVE and have volunteered at for years because I would be struggling to pay the bills, would work long hours and I wouldn't have medical insurance.
Can you volunteer with the non-profit where it utilizes your skills?
Maybe! I mean, at the very least I can support the same cause in some capacity, I'm sure.
What is the pay cut? I think people are approaching their responses as though you're going to be really struggling financially if you do this. I think after a certain point in financial stability, more money is just gravy but isn't really NECESSARY. Will this non-profit job mean your kids can no longer enroll in dance lessons and you have to pinch pennies on the grocery budget or help them less with college, or does it mean you can't buy as many designer handbags or might have to only go on 1 vacation a year instead of 2? Same goes with the commute - are you losing 30 minutes here and there or are you losing huge chunks of time with your kids?
I'm actually surprised so many people have pushed you to only think of your family here. I think kids also benefit from having parents who are happy and who model things like following your dreams and making choices that align with your values. I wouldn't advocate for putting your family last, nor do I think you want to do that, but I don't see why what you want to do doesn't matter AT ALL either. There has to be a balance somewhere.
Honestly - the day to day at any job is going to suck much of the time. True. But if you have a job you're excited about and you're working toward something you believe in - you have that to pick you up on a day when you're feeling frustrated with the mundane tasks. Will it solve all your problems and make you feel fulfilled in every aspect of your life? Of course not. But it's not silly to think that working for an organization you are passionate about could increase your job satisfaction and make your life overall better. There is a ton of research out there that it's not the money and the benefits that make employees happy and engaged, it's feeling like the have meaningful, challenging work (and a lot of other warm fuzzies like autonomy, supportive supervision, etc). But overall people find more satisfaction in doing meaningful work than they do in pay.
All that said - what's most important are your own values. Some people value family time over all else, and some people value meaningful work over flexibility, and so on. None of those people are wrong. Your kids will be fine either way. You just have to decide what YOU value more and what is more important to YOU, and do that.
Nope. I wouldn't do it. I mean, one of those things, maybe two? But the combo of less money and less flexibility is a major nope for me. I gave up working for my family's company, making waaaayyy more money, in a job that MATTERS (to me and my family). I'm a teacher, and am fulfilled, but for far less money-- and way MORE flexibility.
What is the pay cut? I think people are approaching their responses as though you're going to be really struggling financially if you do this. I think after a certain point in financial stability, more money is just gravy but isn't really NECESSARY. Will this non-profit job mean your kids can no longer enroll in dance lessons and you have to pinch pennies on the grocery budget or help them less with college, or does it mean you can't buy as many designer handbags or might have to only go on 1 vacation a year instead of 2? Same goes with the commute - are you losing 30 minutes here and there or are you losing huge chunks of time with your kids?
I'm actually surprised so many people have pushed you to only think of your family here. I think kids also benefit from having parents who are happy and who model things like following your dreams and making choices that align with your values. I wouldn't advocate for putting your family last, nor do I think you want to do that, but I don't see why what you want to do doesn't matter AT ALL either. There has to be a balance somewhere.
Honestly - the day to day at any job is going to suck much of the time. True. But if you have a job you're excited about and you're working toward something you believe in - you have that to pick you up on a day when you're feeling frustrated with the mundane tasks. Will it solve all your problems and make you feel fulfilled in every aspect of your life? Of course not. But it's not silly to think that working for an organization you are passionate about could increase your job satisfaction and make your life overall better. There is a ton of research out there that it's not the money and the benefits that make employees happy and engaged, it's feeling like the have meaningful, challenging work (and a lot of other warm fuzzies like autonomy, supportive supervision, etc). But overall people find more satisfaction in doing meaningful work than they do in pay.
All that said - what's most important are your own values. Some people value family time over all else, and some people value meaningful work over flexibility, and so on. None of those people are wrong. Your kids will be fine either way. You just have to decide what YOU value more and what is more important to YOU, and do that.
Good luck.
IMO, it isn't about the money so much as the time. She may still be able to pay for dance lessons for her kid, but what if the new hours and longer commute means she doesn't have the time to get her child to/from the lessons or see their recitals, kwim?
When you have kids, you really do have to consider whats fair for them, too, not just what will make you feel best about yourself. Of course, having a job that you love can inspire your kids. But on the other hand, loving your job and being fulfilled by what you accomplish probably wont mean much to your kids when they're young and just want you to be there. It is about balance, but sometimes balance has to be weighted in favor of children for a while.