I am thinking about buying a new, higher storage capacity iPhone simply so I don't have to go through and delete pictures. Lazy, and also unhealthily attached to pictures.
I think N is much cuter than some children I encounter IRL. Like, worlds cuter. I know I have mom-colored glasses on... but he's really very cute.
Finally, I think there might be a turd somewhere in my house and I'm not really excited to go hunting for it. I let N have some diaper free time and when I went to go put his diaper on, there was a wee bit of poo mark on his crack. #moty
Oh, and one of N's favorite toys is my ice bucket and a handful of puff balls. I feel like I've failed him somehow.
Post by Ashley&Scott on Mar 3, 2015 17:22:17 GMT -5
@supergreen I'm not judging you because I buy clothes throughout the year too. But I am always surprised when people say their husbands don't notice. DH is pretty aware of all of our clothing so I can't really sneak things in. (but maybe that's because he does the majority of the laundry?) My co-worker does this with purses, DH would totally know. But she has 20+ purses & I have like 2.
Post by MadamePresident on Mar 3, 2015 17:26:53 GMT -5
I don't get the whole "sneaking things by my husband" mentality, especially for silly things. But my husband doesn't really care what we spend money on so long as we plan it in the budget.
I can guarantee you that my mom has bought the boys 70% of the clothing that they own. I buy a lot of daycare staples, but she just can.not.stop "finding deals". Whatever, I'll take free clothes!
This makes me so jealous.
I've been looking at baby girl clothes and I'm so overwhelmed! Do I like florals? Bright colors or pastels? Tutus? I don't know! So instead I buy more plaid button downs and polos for DS.
I have several (like, 8, I think) garbage bags of clothes for you. They were purchased by a wide variety of people (MIL, me, various family members), so you will get a chance to try out pretty much every type of girl stuff.
@supergreen I'm not judging you because I buy clothes throughout the year too. But I am always surprised when people say their husbands don't notice. DH is pretty aware of all of our clothing so I can't really sneak things in. (but maybe that's because he does the majority of the laundry?) My co-worker does this with purses, DH would totally know. But she has 20+ purses & I have like 2.
DH is completely oblivious. He has no idea which clothes of mine or DS's are new, old, hand me downs, nada. DH wears the SAME THING every day (dark colored Carhartt shirt and Carhartt khaki pants) so I guess clothing isn't on his radar at all. I'm not a clothes person personally, I don't have any fancy clothes or purses or anything like that. I dress simply too. But kids clothes? DH doesn't know or doesn't care, or both.
I don't get the whole "sneaking things by my husband" mentality, especially for silly things. But my husband doesn't really care what we spend money on so long as we plan it in the budget.
To me feeling a need to sneak is a red flag that you are married to a controlling, manipulative jerk.
This may be colored by the fact that the one sneaky wife I know IRL is married to a controlling, manipulative jerk.
I don't get the whole "sneaking things by my husband" mentality, especially for silly things. But my husband doesn't really care what we spend money on so long as we plan it in the budget.
And page maybe sneaking is the wrong word to choose. More like "don't ask don't tell." He doesn't ask me what I bought at Target, and I don't mention my cart included clothes. And it's not like I'm blowing our budget on this, it is just Circo and Cherokee after all. And DS has far less clothes than some other MMMs who've posted wardrobe pics lately.
This is a lie, but I get you about the joy of dressing a little being who just looks smashing in all the things
Related confession: I am one of those parents who thinks my preshious is especially smart and especially beautiful. I try to keep it under wraps, though.
I think DS1 is especially smart. I probably don't keep it under wraps too well. Related confession: I try not to compare DS2 to him, but it can be tough. They have COMPLETELY different personalities, so I shouldn't expect DS2 to be as "academic" but sometimes I wonder if it's because he is the second and doesn't get enough attention/one-on-one time/etc.
I have observed a pattern in families I know with two boys. The older boy is the "smart" one, usually more reserved, and the younger one is the more rambunctious, physical one. Admittedly this is a sample of five families, but I've definitely noticed it and have wondered if there's an underlying cause. Also, in all cases the younger brother is physically larger than the older one was at the same age.
And I think my kid's really smart. LOL. It doesn't help my ego when his lead teacher at daycare tells me that she and other teachers all refer to him as "the engineer" and that she talks him up to the preschool lead.
I think DD is really smart but I am fairly certain I am being objective about it because I also see many of the ways she is below average, lol.
#didntsttnuntiltwo #colicmonster #dramaqueen
Oh, for sure. A friend posted a video of his 2.5-year-old climbing like a monkey on a "big kid" playground climber. My kid cannot do that, I guarantee. But I've never heard friend's kid speak. So, it's all relative.
@supergreen I'm not judging you because I buy clothes throughout the year too. But I am always surprised when people say their husbands don't notice. DH is pretty aware of all of our clothing so I can't really sneak things in. (but maybe that's because he does the majority of the laundry?) My co-worker does this with purses, DH would totally know. But she has 20+ purses & I have like 2.
DH would never notice if our kids got new clothes. He does like 1% of the laundry and probably only dresses the kids himself about 15% of the time. And like I've said before, we get so many hand-me-downs and random thrift store purchases thrown in I don't think he's ever think I bought something new/full price (which I almost never do, haha).
I totally get you on the purse thing though. I pretty much only rotate between my work/laptop bag, diaper bag and one purse. So he'd notice a change there for sure.
Mine are the opposite. DD1 isn't a dullard or anything, but I would say that she is of average intelligence. DD2 (so far) is exceptionally smart--her language skills are nuts, she can count as high as 13 (that I have heard), sing her ABCs and probably a dozen or more other songs, etc. She's insane. I wonder if it's because she is exposed to so much more than DD1 was because she has an older sibling.
My two BFFs also each have a "smart" kid and an "average" one--one had the smart one first, and one had the smart one second.
All anecdotes but I think the answer is probably that kids are who they are. For my part I work really hard to never praise intelligence and focus more on process and hard work. Innate intelligence is great but perseverance and grit are far more important.
I completely agree with your last paragraph. How to teach grit though, that is the question You have to be ok with letting them fail (and encouraging them to try again, etc.) and that is hard for parents. I think the natural inclination is to want everything to be smooth sailing and easy for your kids. I guess you just gave to hope it pays off in the end.W
With the caveat that I know this is one of those things that gets much, much harder as kids get older.... I think the key is to show confidence and trust in kids by giving them appropriate responsibilities and encouraging them that they can do those tasks. I also don't "rescue" my kids from their own mistakes--if they are clear on a responsibility and forget to do it, then I don't save them from experiencing unpleasant consequences (along the lines of letting them fail). I am kind but I don't make the problem go away. This is so hard to do and I know it will be way worse when the stakes get higher and there are real consequences and real pain and not just "Oh sorry, it was your responsibility to remember to bring your toy home from school. I can't turn the car around in traffic now to go back and get it."
I also try to model handling mistakes and setbacks well. I am learning a super difficult piece on the piano right now and I try to practice when the kids can hear me because seriously, I sound horrible and screw up all the time. But I make progress too, and I don't get pissed when I screw up, and when my DD1 is frustrated with something I can remind her of all the hours it is taking me to learn this song and how I still mess up regularly but I am getting better. That's just one long-term example, but I make a point to acknowledge my mistakes and handle them well in front of the kids in general.
I was raised in a household where my parents NEVER admitted to mistakes--they lied to me that they never even tried pot (and they were teenagers/twentysomethings in the 60s!) through high school. It was such a toxic environment to feel like I could not mess up ever because my parents expected me not to and (to my knowledge) never screwed anything up themselves.
I don't get the whole "sneaking things by my husband" mentality, especially for silly things. But my husband doesn't really care what we spend money on so long as we plan it in the budget.
And page maybe sneaking is the wrong word to choose. More like "don't ask don't tell." He doesn't ask me what I bought at Target, and I don't mention my cart included clothes. And it's not like I'm blowing our budget on this, it is just Circo and Cherokee after all. And DS has far less clothes than some other MMMs who've posted wardrobe pics lately.
I see a lot of it on the cloth diaper groups I'm in, where people are like "I have to get the mail today, so my husband doesn't see that I bought another cloth diaper." Either you have the money to spend and you are spending it in a way that is enjoyable to you or you don't and then you are just being irresponsible.
I don't feel the need to detail every little purchase to my husband, but I'll be like $25 of that Target trip was groceries and the rest was a new shirt. But that's mainly for budgeting purposes.
I also don't quite understand people who need "permission" from their husbands for a small purchase.
I think DS1 is especially smart. I probably don't keep it under wraps too well. Related confession: I try not to compare DS2 to him, but it can be tough. They have COMPLETELY different personalities, so I shouldn't expect DS2 to be as "academic" but sometimes I wonder if it's because he is the second and doesn't get enough attention/one-on-one time/etc.
I have observed a pattern in families I know with two boys. The older boy is the "smart" one, usually more reserved, and the younger one is the more rambunctious, physical one. Admittedly this is a sample of five families, but I've definitely noticed it and have wondered if there's an underlying cause. Also, in all cases the younger brother is physically larger than the older one was at the same age.
And I think my kid's really smart. LOL. It doesn't help my ego when his lead teacher at daycare tells me that she and other teachers all refer to. him as "the engineer" and that she talks him up to the preschool lead.
So far, it totally seems like my boys are like this. I wonder if it's because the younger one is always trying to "keep up" with the older one physically? Like I don't think DS1 was that much of a jumper/climber at 2.5, but he definitely is at age 4. But 2.5 year old DS2 just sees his brother jumping and climbing, so he tries as much as he can to keep up. So he seems more "rambunctious" at age 2.5 because he's trying to act like a "normal" 4 year old.
I don't get the whole "sneaking things by my husband" mentality, especially for silly things. But my husband doesn't really care what we spend money on so long as we plan it in the budget.
And page maybe sneaking is the wrong word to choose. More like "don't ask don't tell." He doesn't ask me what I bought at Target, and I don't mention my cart included clothes. And it's not like I'm blowing our budget on this, it is just Circo and Cherokee after all. And DS has far less clothes than some other MMMs who've posted wardrobe pics lately.
Well and I feel I should point out that that comment was NOT supposed to be veiled snark at you/your husband SG. I don't veil my snark, I say it straight up. I am not a fan of your H but that post didn't read as a red flag to me necessarily.
I am thinking more of a situation where a wife hoards cash so she can spend it without her husband knowing about it at all.
I am certain my DH has next to no idea when I buy clothes for the kids (or myself for that matter) or how much I spend. But I would not hesitate to tell him if he wanted to know. He just doesn't care, and I don't have the time or energy to discuss every clothing purchase with him. I don't pay much attention to what he spends money on, either. We both (generally make reasonable choices when it comes to spending; micromanaging each other on that front just seems tedious.
And page maybe sneaking is the wrong word to choose. More like "don't ask don't tell." He doesn't ask me what I bought at Target, and I don't mention my cart included clothes. And it's not like I'm blowing our budget on this, it is just Circo and Cherokee after all. And DS has far less clothes than some other MMMs who've posted wardrobe pics lately.
I see a lot of it on the cloth diaper groups I'm in, where people are like "I have to get the mail today, so my husband doesn't see that I bought another cloth diaper." Either you have the money to spend and you are spending it in a way that is enjoyable to you or you don't and then you are just being irresponsible.
I don't feel the need to detail every little purchase to my husband, but I'll be like $25 of that Target trip was groceries and the rest was a new shirt. But that's mainly for budgeting purposes.
I also don't quite understand people who need "permission" from their husbands for a small purchase.
If he asked me "what did you buy at Target today?" I would be upfront and not lie. I just don't volunteer that I bought clothes. So like you, I don't detail every little purchase to DH. He doesn't think clothes necessary, since he owns 5 shirts and ONE pair of pants, he thinks DS should somehow be the same. Since I do the laundry, I disagree. Like I said, I'm not blowing the budget or buying excessive amounts of clothes. I don't think I'm irresponsible for a $5 Circo shirt.
And page maybe sneaking is the wrong word to choose. More like "don't ask don't tell." He doesn't ask me what I bought at Target, and I don't mention my cart included clothes. And it's not like I'm blowing our budget on this, it is just Circo and Cherokee after all. And DS has far less clothes than some other MMMs who've posted wardrobe pics lately.
I see a lot of it on the cloth diaper groups I'm in, where people are like "I have to get the mail today, so my husband doesn't see that I bought another cloth diaper." Either you have the money to spend and you are spending it in a way that is enjoyable to you or you don't and then you are just being irresponsible.
I don't feel the need to detail every little purchase to my husband, but I'll be like $25 of that Target trip was groceries and the rest was a new shirt. But that's mainly for budgeting purposes.
I also don't quite understand people who need "permission" from their husbands for a small purchase.
Yes! It's especially bad in the CD groups I'm in. Drives me nuts. Although I feel like $150 for a cloth diaper is a little irresponsible any way you slice it. But to each his/her own.
And page maybe sneaking is the wrong word to choose. More like "don't ask don't tell." He doesn't ask me what I bought at Target, and I don't mention my cart included clothes. And it's not like I'm blowing our budget on this, it is just Circo and Cherokee after all. And DS has far less clothes than some other MMMs who've posted wardrobe pics lately.
Well and I feel I should point out that that comment was NOT supposed to be veiled snark at you/your husband SG. I don't veil my snark, I say it straight up. I am not a fan of your H but that post didn't read as a red flag to me necessarily.
I am thinking more of a situation where a wife hoards cash so she can spend it without her husband knowing about it at all.
Fair enough. I wasn't trying to throw up red flags, I was just throwing out a mild confession along the lines of "I don't like HA."
I am certain my DH has next to no idea when I buy clothes for the kids (or myself for that matter) or how much I spend. But I would not hesitate to tell him if he wanted to know. He just doesn't care, and I don't have the time or energy to discuss every clothing purchase with him. I don't pay much attention to what he spends money on, either. We both (generally make reasonable choices when it comes to spending; micromanaging each other on that front just seems tedious.
I don't get the whole "sneaking things by my husband" mentality, especially for silly things. But my husband doesn't really care what we spend money on so long as we plan it in the budget.
This was going to be confession, too. I really don't get it. I have never once hidden anything I bought from my husband, even if I know it was more than I should have spent. On top of him not caring, I just don't have the energy to keep up the ruse.
ETA: And this is not directed at anyone in particular. Like mdana said, I see it a lot in CD groups and I'm like "not good, person. Not. Good"
Post by chickens987 on Mar 3, 2015 18:15:04 GMT -5
I hate that just because I buy convenience foods that are organic/free range/hippy bullshit the manufacturer expects that I won't use a microwave and thus does not give microwave directions. I am not putting chicken nuggets in the oven.
And page maybe sneaking is the wrong word to choose. More like "don't ask don't tell." He doesn't ask me what I bought at Target, and I don't mention my cart included clothes. And it's not like I'm blowing our budget on this, it is just Circo and Cherokee after all. And DS has far less clothes than some other MMMs who've posted wardrobe pics lately.
I see a lot of it on the cloth diaper groups I'm in, where people are like "I have to get the mail today, so my husband doesn't see that I bought another cloth diaper." Either you have the money to spend and you are spending it in a way that is enjoyable to you or you don't and then you are just being irresponsible.
I don't feel the need to detail every little purchase to my husband, but I'll be like $25 of that Target trip was groceries and the rest was a new shirt. But that's mainly for budgeting purposes.
I also don't quite understand people who need "permission" from their husbands for a small purchase.
I agree with you. We have don't ask don't tell in this house basically because he just doesn't care what I threw in the cart at Target or UPS is bringing me courtesy of Amazon. At the end of the day we have so much more important stuff to discuss, think about and get done that I'm not spending five minutes on "I went to Target today and bought Tide, Cascade, a new color book for the kids, the stinky bar soap you like, another cardigan for me, cute shoes for DS or the Amazon coupon for TP was great this week." Haha. When I do talk about it, he gets all eye rolly and gives me a "that's nice."
In turn I don't take advantage of the situation either.