Background - I have some stupid health issues going on. If it weren't for extenuating circumstances they wouldn't be a big deal. This is only relevant because I am already having a pity party for myself over this.
Also, I talk. A lot. A lot, a lot. All the time. I've been teased for it. I try to reign it in, but it is SO hard for me. I don't talk over people, I'm just not one for leaving a lull in a conversation. I ask questions, too. I don't just talk about myself. But...
To counter the shit weather, pity party and general new mom anxiety I joined a mom's group on meetup. There is 30 day free trial and then there are dues. I wanted to meet as many moms as I could in that period to decide if I wanted in.
Issue - today I meet up with some of the moms and the one I really thought I liked. Then she says in front of the group "everyone can tell who the new members are because they don't shut up. Example - orange glow! We can't wait until you settle down!"
I kind of did an uncomfortable laugh and then left early. I don't really "settle down." I normally talk a lot and I guess that annoys at least her, but now I'm assuming some of the other more established members too.
This sucks. *kicks rocks* I wanted to join this group to be more social with my son.
I just - I know I talk too much. And I like being social. And I've been called on it before. I just thought I was old enough that people would point it out more - discreetly.
I have all the books I could need, and what more could I need than books? I shall only engage in commerce if books are the coin. -- Catherynne M. Valente
Post by game blouses on Mar 3, 2015 17:08:12 GMT -5
One thing I've found about mom's groups is that a lot of women who enjoyed being in cliques in high school tend to gravitate toward them. And cliques work by embarrassing people who are new.
I'm sorry that happened to you, and if it were me I'd have done the same thing. There are nice moms out there; you don't have to put up with the mean ones.
What the fuck? She sounds like an asshole. Different people act differently in a social setting - you talking more isn't wrong or bad. If she's "annoyed," she can go find someone else in the group to talk to. I hope the other women gave her a side eye.
I'm really sorry. Was it said "brightly" like more in jest?
One of my friends from my supper club told me once "I never know what's going to come out of your mouth!" and it caught me off guard but she meant it as a compliment, but I get you. It still stung.
You should definitely keep going though! I'm sure lots of Moms there like you.
As a fellow chatty Cathy, I feel for you. And I know how it is to be very aware and trying to not overdue it. (though I sometimes over talk which is a terrible habit and makes me feel even worse).
This woman sounds like a total asshole, please do not sweat her. You will find a group. You will.
That was breathtakingly rude of her to say such a thing. I'm sorry, that really sucks. She sucks. I wouldn't want to be friends with someone like that tbh.
Post by speckledfrog on Mar 3, 2015 17:12:47 GMT -5
Can you avoid her? If not, find a new group. We have someone in my moms group that is really blunt (Like asking a mom, "Is your son always so whiny?" ) No need to hang out with an asshole if you can avoid it. I'm sorry she hurt your feelings. Sounds like she can't handle not being the center of attention.
Thanks everyone. I've dealt with people calling me on it before, but I am usually not as down on myself as I'm feeling now. So it was like "yay new mom friends" to "fuck, no one likes me."
Aw, sorry that she lacks the energy to keep up with you conversationally, & sorry that she lacks couth & tried to make that YOUR problem. Bitch. (I'd wanna hang w/ you, & I'm not even a mom, said in a very non-creepy manner;))
I hate her. You are so awesome to talk to because it DOESN'T make it awkward and it is easy. When I met you, it was like talking to an old friend because you weren't one for leaving awkward pauses and "so um.." or "so uh.."
I would avoid her. Are there other talkers there? Get to know them!