A poll about co-sleeping and single parents

[dowagercountess]

My kid is in my bed with me more often than not, and most of the single moms I know are the same way.

[sweetchix]

I voted SS because, while I have never co-slept with DDs, DD1 has been having issues sleeping through the night because she's scared and 1 out of 5 times I've let her come into bed with me. I don't like to because she's 8 and shouldn't be having these issues, yet at the same time, I feel bad for her because I remember what it was like to be scared at night too.

[jenstar]

I wasn't sure what to choose. We co slept a fair bit in the first year but I wasn't a single parent technically at that stage. Since then it is pretty rare, only when DS is having trouble sleeping/sick but more often than not he settles in his own bed. He definitely sleeps the best in his own bed and so do I. Thankfully since stbxh moved out he has continued sleeping like a champ until very recently!

I will put him in my bed if we are on vacation somewhere and he can't sleep in the portacot (p&p) as he's really a bit too big for it anyway.

[katiecj6]

I'm a single mom. I coslept a little when he was a baby. (I hated it)

Now my DS is 5.5 and I ony cosleep when we spend the night away.

[flamingeaux]

I didn't have air conditioning or heating in my bedroom growing up, so if my dad was on the road my sister and I would sleep in my parents bed, with my mom. If my dad was home we would sleep in the living room.

ETA: not a single parent, but when DH is gone, I have the baby in a cosleeper in the bed with me. We put the cosleeper in his crib, when DH is home, most of the time, because we are sharing a double bed, at the moment. We will probably allow him and any other future children to cosleep as long as it doesn't interfere with their ability to sleep in their own bed when they need to.

[CurlyQ284]

I'm not a single parent but saw your XP on ML. My SDs coslept with their mom and grandma (moms mom lived with them) until the girls were 7 and 8. They would trade rooms and alternate which adult they slept with. They turned out ok. We had some speedbumps when they came to our house and having to sleep in their room but only for a few days and then they were fine.

ETA as a kid my dad traveled a TON and I slept in his spot. My brother dragged his mattress in and slept on it in my mom's room so we were all together. It was a blast.

[excited30]

I never co-slept with my daughter on a regular basis. I have slept with her while camping in a tent, or on vacation, but only when she's VERY sick at home. Even if she's very sick, I will usually sleep on the floor in her bedroom over bringing her to bed with me. I don't think it's wrong, but I want my daughter to be comfortable and secure with herself starting as young as possible. I help her through it if she's scared in her room and find ways to teach her or comfort her if need be. If I were to co-sleep I would pick up to 2 years of age as being ok.. just because I think that making a change to your childs sleeping habits gets harder the older they get and the longer that it continues on for. My daughter moved into a big girl bed vs. crib at that age and so I would do it at about that time of a transition.

[Emerald1486]

I co slept with DS most nights the first year. But now. ... he has a bed. He will sometimes fall asleep next to me on the couch but I relocate him to his bed

[Deleted]

Okay for me or okay in general (like "healthy")

[1confused1]

I am a super light sleeper so co-sleeping for me was not an option. My kids were in their cribs the day they came home from the hospital and have been in their own beds ever since.

I have no opinion of people who do co-sleep, I'm in the camp of whatever way you and your kid can get some sleep is the most important.

Since my xh and I split, my kids have been wanting to sleep in my bed a lot more, I allow it every once in a while (mostly because I don't sleep well when they are in my bed).

[pinkdutchtulips]

DD slept in her own bed from 18 months until 4 when xh and i split. since the split, she's been sleeping w me. i am so counting down the days until she sleeps in her own bed again !

[bugandbibs]

DD1 slept in a toddler bed in my room until she was five. She had PTSD and night terrors. It was the best choice for her. She rarely will sleep with me now, but she will climb in bed with me on weekend mornings if I'm still in bed when she gets up.

DD2 was in a crib/toddler bed in our room until she was 26 months. She was in and out of our bed to sleep, especially before she was night weaned. She often took naps in our bed with MH (who worked nights and slept during the day). She gets up almost every morning and sleeps with me for at least an hour.

DS starts the night in his room in the crib and then bed shares for a few hours after he wakes up. We moved him out of our room at 6 months when MH's work schedule changed and it disturbed DS's sleep.

I'm not single, but I usually sleep alone since MH's work usually has him gone during night time hours.

[Deleted]

An old coworker of mine was a young mom (she had her son sometime in high school) and they shared a bed as long as I worked with her - he was about 9 when I quit. He started in his own bed every night but always ended up with her and said he felt safer

ETA: sorry saw this on the main page of the app

[acr]

I don't really know how to vote. I don't prefer co-sleeping, it wasn't for me, but I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I remember sharing a bed with my dad when I was 7 or 8 when I'd stay at his house, and we had/have a perfectly healthy relationship, I just felt comforted by it during a stressful time.

[lyssbobiss, Command, B613]

I know a lot of parents who do it. When my dad moved out I slept in my mom's bed for a long time.

I don't do it. Mostly because I like my sleep and my kid and I don't bed share together well so it was never even a consideration. But a lot of the moms in know who do it every single night have codependency issues. They also consider their kids their best friends and have serious problems with letting them be away at a dad's (for no reason, not because dad is shitty or anything). I can understand it for the first few weeks but I never wanted my child to become my security blanket, and I think doing it all the time can be unhealthy.

[becwheat]

I don't like co-sleeping because I am a light sleeper. My DH is lucky he gets to be in my bed! lol

DD slept in my bed on and off for almost 2 years. As soon as she was in a toddler bed she would get up and crawl into my bed at some point every night. She has been in her own room for a well over a year now, but she still doesn't like being in her own room. She is afraid of the dark... so we have spent a lot of time making her room more "friendly" for her.

[jellymankelly]

My boys are almost 5 and almost 9. We still co-sleep on rare occasions. They like to pile up in bed with me anytime I let them. I'm not sure when the habit becomes unhealthy. They slept with their dad for nearly a year on his weekends before they got their bunk beds, but that didn't amount to that many nights overall, and they don't seem any worse for the wear because of it. We also cosleep when we camp - BF takes one big bunk, DS2 and I take the other (partially so I can block him in to keep him from escaping), and DS1 takes the smallest bunk.

I guess this is a "depends on the situation" kind of thing.

[LoveBug]

My DD has never slept in my bed and she is 2.5 yrs old. I just don't want to start something and not break it.

[cuddlyevil]

I didn't co sleep with them when they are babies. But now they climb in bed with me overnight if they get scared. I'm currently in the process of breaking DS#2 of having to fall asleep near/on me.

[wampuscat]

I don't co sleep regularly, but I let him get in my bed if he wakes up overnight and starts crying (he's 2). There are times when I put him down for the night that he just won't go down and starts screaming for "Mommy's bed", so sometimes I let him sleep in my bed until I'm ready for bed and then I move him to his room.

[jojoandleo]

FormerlyRR, what did you think the answers would be?

[CrazyLucky]

We never co-slept. The kids make too much noise, even when they're sleeping. I don't have anything against co-sleeping though, for people who choose it. I said up to age 2, but 3 is probably ok too. DS is 4 and I can't picture having him in my bed every night.

[greysgirl]

I'm a single mom. My son (4.5) sleeps in my bed usually 1-2 times a week. I don't know at what age I'll stop letting him.

[Deleted]

I'm a single mom. With the exception of nightmares or illness, we have never co-slept. That person you were talking to is an idiot.

[stephreloaded]

I think there is a big difference between climbing in bed with you parents from time to time and co-sleeping which in my mind means it's a regular thing.

I co-slept with DD for the first 6 months and I liked it. To be honest I did it because I was lazy and I didnt want to get up for the night feedings. Once I came back home, she had her own room and she sleeps with me from time to time.

[Queen Mamadala]

I have co-slept from birth with all of my kids. My other kids transitioned to their own bed between 21-22 months, but would often sleep with me when their dad was deployed, which was a lot. My ds2 stopped nursing at 21 months, which was when he started sleeping in his own bed. When my first husband and I were separated and I wasn't dating anyone he slept in his own bed. My girls only slept with me on occasion, usually when they weren't feeling well. So between 2-4 years old ds2 slept with me at times.

I imagine LO with co-sleep for a while longer, until 15+ months, though we'll likely put a toddler bed or playard in our room at some point.

ETA: I really don't care what other parents do, so it being "not okay" doesn't factor into the equation. For me, if I were single, co-sleeping with my older kids, even at 5, 8 and 10, would be no big deal. My sister slept with my mom until 10, and still shared a room through high school (part of the master bedroom had a sun room they used as my sister's bedroom). And I slept with my mom, single parent, until 7, when she married my ex-stepdad.

At this point, I'm fine with 2ish, and on occasion thereafter, when they're scared or sick or whatever.