WWYD - rest served dish w/peanuts after confirming no peanut

[fuckyourcouch]

At the most I would ask for my ER copay because I specifically asked and was told no.

In reality, I probably wouldn't have ordered the dish because I would assume it wasn't safe.

I wouldn't sue.

[themoneytree]

Her kid could have died. I probably wouldn't sue but would expect a sincere apology, out of pocket costs covered and at the bare minimum a refund.

[katb]

When my DD1 first was diagnosed with her tree nut allergy, we did not realize how bad cross contamination could hurt her. Twice we were served something that did not have nuts in it, but ended up with it in it because kitchens, restaurants, busy, etc. I called the restaurant each time afterward. Not to get money, but to let them know the cross contamination possibility. I take the responsibility for this though, she is my daughter and I know it's extreme, but I trust almost no one when it comes to telling me if food is safe - manager, server, etc. We don't go to many restaurants with her anymore or we take our own food (many don't have a problem if we call/ask at the door and be discreet).

DD1 is more cavalier about it now she is older. She will go to AppleBee's with her friends and eat the fries, etc. I know she can't live in a bubble (I would like her to at times) but it does make me so very nervous.

So no she shouldn't sue, call the restaurant so they can educate the servers and let her use this as learning opp.

[Moe]

Yes, but with shrimp.  (Ordered a papaya salad w/o shrimp, asked the server to ask the chef whether they could do this, they confirmed that they could, and when I bit into it, sloooowly I felt that little itch that grows monumentally).

At the end of the day, they comped my wine and one dish.  They "said" they'd comp my meal but they didn't (i.e. they still charged for the papaya salad, WUT?).  DH had to run off and buy some benadryl and I just wanted out of there. 

Then I ODed in Benadryl like I always do when I get an allergy, because I feel like I'm going to die and I don't want to do epi pen so I just chew anti histamines like they're candy, and then 15 mins later I'm all woozy and sleep for 20 hours.

Needless to say, while I wish I would have asked for a full refund, given that I found out about the papaya salad charge two days later, I just decided never to go back.  NEVER.  

[Deleted]

I'm sorry the child suffered, but the thought of relying on a Black Angus dessert to be peanut-free is laughable.

I'd be impressed if your cousin could get the cost of the meal.

Team mp.

[starlily]

Mar 4, 2015 17:08:14 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

I'd expect the medical bills to be paid, a VERY sincere apology, and a refund on the food. If this didn't happen, hell yes I'd sue.

Ditto.

[gretchenindisguise]

I'd ask for oop medical expenses and the meal comped.

I'm getting more and more annoyed with allergy things lately. We went to a restaurant a month ago and I ordered the paella because I figured it was easiest with my allergies. I asked "there's no dairy in there right, I have an allergy." She said no - it's paella (duh). I get it - I bite in - there's cheese. I wave the waitress over and say "I think there is cheese in this." "no, it's paella, there shouldn't be." "I agree, can you go ask the chef if there is cheese in this?" [she leaves reluctantly - comes back hurriedly] "there is cheese in there, I'm so sorry."

WHO THE EFF PUTS CHEESE IN A PAELLA?

That's what annoys me. Why are we bastardizing things that SHOULD be safe and hiding shit in them.

Full disclosure - we went there again last night and to avoid issues I ordered a salad and sushi roll.

[Deleted]

Mar 4, 2015 17:34:13 GMT -5 gretchenindisguise said:

I'd ask for oop medical expenses and the meal comped.

I'm getting more and more annoyed with allergy things lately. We went to a restaurant a month ago and I ordered the paella because I figured it was easiest with my allergies. I asked "there's no dairy in there right, I have an allergy." She said no - it's paella (duh). I get it - I bite in - there's cheese. I wave the waitress over and say "I think there is cheese in this." "no, it's paella, there shouldn't be." "I agree, can you go ask the chef if there is cheese in this?" [she leaves reluctantly - comes back hurriedly] "there is cheese in there, I'm so sorry."

WHO THE EFF PUTS CHEESE IN A PAELLA?

That's what annoys me. Why are we bastardizing things that SHOULD be safe and hiding shit in them.

Full disclosure - we went there again last night and to avoid issues I ordered a salad and sushi roll.

What kind of restaurant serves both paella and sushi?

[pantsparty]

Mar 4, 2015 17:34:13 GMT -5 gretchenindisguise said:

I'd ask for oop medical expenses and the meal comped.

I'm getting more and more annoyed with allergy things lately. We went to a restaurant a month ago and I ordered the paella because I figured it was easiest with my allergies. I asked "there's no dairy in there right, I have an allergy." She said no - it's paella (duh). I get it - I bite in - there's cheese. I wave the waitress over and say "I think there is cheese in this." "no, it's paella, there shouldn't be." "I agree, can you go ask the chef if there is cheese in this?" [she leaves reluctantly - comes back hurriedly] "there is cheese in there, I'm so sorry."

WHO THE EFF PUTS CHEESE IN A PAELLA?

That's what annoys me. Why are we bastardizing things that SHOULD be safe and hiding shit in them.

Full disclosure - we went there again last night and to avoid issues I ordered a salad and sushi roll.

1. Who the hell puts CHEESE in paella?

2. Where did you eat that serves both paella AND sushi? Cheesecake Factory? LOL.

[gretchenindisguise]

Mar 4, 2015 17:37:10 GMT -5 @misoangry said:

Mar 4, 2015 17:34:13 GMT -5 gretchenindisguise said:

I'd ask for oop medical expenses and the meal comped.

I'm getting more and more annoyed with allergy things lately. We went to a restaurant a month ago and I ordered the paella because I figured it was easiest with my allergies. I asked "there's no dairy in there right, I have an allergy." She said no - it's paella (duh). I get it - I bite in - there's cheese. I wave the waitress over and say "I think there is cheese in this." "no, it's paella, there shouldn't be." "I agree, can you go ask the chef if there is cheese in this?" [she leaves reluctantly - comes back hurriedly] "there is cheese in there, I'm so sorry."

WHO THE EFF PUTS CHEESE IN A PAELLA?

That's what annoys me. Why are we bastardizing things that SHOULD be safe and hiding shit in them.

Full disclosure - we went there again last night and to avoid issues I ordered a salad and sushi roll.

What kind of restaurant serves both paella and sushi?

haha - I almost put in a disclaimer about that for you!

I normally wouldn't have ordered paella at this place because it's obviously not a Spanish restaurant - but I was solo with my kids at a goodbye dinner thing with family and wanted to do easy. It's mostly a seafood/meat place.

[sapphireblue]

This really makes me mad. I get why a certain sort of restaurant--super busy, high turnover, etc. might have servers that don't know about allergies and what foods contain. But I think they should all train their servers to understand how serious allergies can be, and to ask the chef, don't just give an answer!

My coworker has a nut allergy and told her server at the beginning of the meal. This was at a local very expensive restaurant. All was fine with the meal, but then at the end he brought out a complimentary dessert thing that had peanut butter as one of the main ingredients! She just didn't eat it but was appalled that he did that when she specifically told him about her allergy and quizzed him on several of the dishes.

[catbus]

This has almost happened to me, actually. I have a peanut allergy. Lucky for me, the peanuts were apparent and I did not eat the item, so in my case I just ensured I wasn't charged for it. 

Then there was a different time I was out at a business lunch, ordered a mixed-greens salad, and ended up having to go to the ER with chest pains, unable to breathe, because that restaurant put peanut butter in their dressing (for god knows why) and didn't mention anything of the sort on the menu.

I honestly don't think a suit would get anywhere. People with allergies have to be cautious when eating out. Unfortunately it's generally on us to ensure our food is safe. In my case, I think salad restaurant is incredibly stupid for not mentioning that their dressing contains PB, and it all pissed me off, but it didn't occur to me to hold them liable. 

In your cousin's shoes, especially since it's a chain, I'd email corporate about how potentially dangerous it is to have an item containing a major allergen and not disclose that on the menu description. I would tell the story and expect some kind of additional apology and compensation. 

[Deleted]

My kid has a life threatening allergy. I would sue.

[gretchenindisguise]

Mar 4, 2015 17:56:10 GMT -5 mp said:

Mar 4, 2015 17:49:15 GMT -5 @savestheday said:

My kid has a life threatening allergy. I would sue.

Not being combative, I promise. But in your case, would you have asked "does this dish have peanuts?" or would you have asked more questions? Would you have been content with the server's answer, or would you have asked them to check with the chef or manager? If it's life threatening, I really hope you wouldn't have stopped there, you know?

Celiac disease is not life threatening, but I sure as heck will still check with someone if I have ANY doubts to ensure that the best effort is being made to avoid cross contamination. And then I tip well because I realize that's annoying, lol.

My peanut allergy is life threatening - but I don't ask to speak to the chef at every restaurant I go to.

[catbus]

Mar 4, 2015 17:56:10 GMT -5 mp said:

Mar 4, 2015 17:49:15 GMT -5 @savestheday said:

My kid has a life threatening allergy. I would sue.

Not being combative, I promise. But in your case, would you have asked "does this dish have peanuts?" or would you have asked more questions? Would you have been content with the server's answer, or would you have asked them to check with the chef or manager? If it's life threatening, I really hope you wouldn't have stopped there, you know?

Celiac disease is not life threatening, but I sure as heck will still check with someone if I have ANY doubts to ensure that the best effort is being made to avoid cross contamination. And then I tip well because I realize that's annoying, lol.

Pretty much in agreement with this. My allergy is my responsibility. Unless a restaurant is claiming to be peanut-free (I don't believe these exist...), I am theoretically taking a risk every time I dine out. I don't stress over it, because in reality there are just certain cuisines/dishes I need to watch out for. I'm very much on guard at Vietnamese and Thai restaurants. I obviously don't eat at places known for having peanut shells littering the floor (Five Guys is the only one coming to mind). I'm wary of brownies, cookies, avoid mole at Mexican restaurants just in case, but generally it's not weighing on my mind. I have a pair of Epi-Pens and a stash of Benadryl in case of emergency to slow the reaction until I can get to an ER. Luckily it's only happened a couple times in my life. 

Edit: I'll say I've never spoken to kitchen staff ahead of time. I did at the salad dressing restaurant, because I was trying to figure out what was going on (it was a slower reaction than I'd experienced before, starting with chest pain and constriction). But yeah, not something I do as a rule. 

[mskitkat]

Even ordering food that shouldn't contain allergens AND specifying you have an allergy isn't enough. I was served a burger that the idiot line cook used the same spatula on my burger as on someone else's cheeseburger. The cheese was mixed in with my mayo and couldn't be noticed until I tasted it. Thankfully my allergy is more the vomiting for 24 hours type instead of throat closure. They wouldn't even take it off the bill, even though I couldn't eat it. Only took off 50%. I hate dining out with a food allergy.

[Deleted]

Mar 4, 2015 17:56:10 GMT -5 mp said:

Mar 4, 2015 17:49:15 GMT -5 @savestheday said:

My kid has a life threatening allergy. I would sue.

Not being combative, I promise. But in your case, would you have asked "does this dish have peanuts?" or would you have asked more questions? Would you have been content with the server's answer, or would you have asked them to check with the chef or manager? If it's life threatening, I really hope you wouldn't have stopped there, you know?

Celiac disease is not life threatening, but I sure as heck will still check with someone if I have ANY doubts to ensure that the best effort is being made to avoid cross contamination. And then I tip well because I realize that's annoying, lol.

I always ALWAYS say when ordering " DS would like the pasta with meatballs ( or whatever), he has a peanut allergy. Can you please check to make sure that us okay?"

99 percent of the time a manager comes out to talk with us.

[catbus]

Mar 4, 2015 18:02:39 GMT -5 mskitkat said:

Even ordering food that shouldn't contain allergens AND specifying you have an allergy isn't enough. I was served a burger that the idiot line cook used the same spatula on my burger as on someone else's cheeseburger. The cheese was mixed in with my mayo and couldn't be noticed until I tasted it. Thankfully my allergy is more the vomiting for 24 hours type instead of throat closure. They wouldn't even take it off the bill, even though I couldn't eat it. Only took off 50%. I hate dining out with a food allergy.

Liked for the last sentence. Yours sounds annoying due to the prevalence, though... I can fairly easily avoid peanuts, generally.

[1confused1]

This doesn't matter, but I'm curious what the dessert was?

[Deleted]

Mar 4, 2015 18:00:44 GMT -5 gretchenindisguise said:

Mar 4, 2015 17:56:10 GMT -5 mp said:

Not being combative, I promise. But in your case, would you have asked "does this dish have peanuts?" or would you have asked more questions? Would you have been content with the server's answer, or would you have asked them to check with the chef or manager? If it's life threatening, I really hope you wouldn't have stopped there, you know?

Celiac disease is not life threatening, but I sure as heck will still check with someone if I have ANY doubts to ensure that the best effort is being made to avoid cross contamination. And then I tip well because I realize that's annoying, lol.

My peanut allergy is life threatening - but I don't ask to speak to the chef at every restaurant I go to.

That really sucks. Do you not eat out often? Granted I don't have food allergies, but I think I would be so nervous about cross contamination like whoa if it was a life threatening situation. 

[mskitkat]

Mar 4, 2015 18:06:39 GMT -5 catbus said:

Mar 4, 2015 18:02:39 GMT -5 mskitkat said:

Even ordering food that shouldn't contain allergens AND specifying you have an allergy isn't enough. I was served a burger that the idiot line cook used the same spatula on my burger as on someone else's cheeseburger. The cheese was mixed in with my mayo and couldn't be noticed until I tasted it. Thankfully my allergy is more the vomiting for 24 hours type instead of throat closure. They wouldn't even take it off the bill, even though I couldn't eat it. Only took off 50%. I hate dining out with a food allergy.

Liked for the last sentence. Yours sounds annoying due to the prevalence, though... I can fairly easily avoid peanuts, generally.

I think they didn't believe me, because for whatever reason, people refuse to understand that mayo is fine for a milk allergy.

I prefer my milk allergy to anything life threatening! All i get is miserable and sick, at worst I get dehydrated and hallucinate, which is always fun. I can't imagine how panicky I would be trying to go out and eat knowing food could kill me.

[gretchenindisguise]

Mar 4, 2015 18:04:22 GMT -5 mp said:

Mar 4, 2015 18:00:44 GMT -5 gretchenindisguise said:

My peanut allergy is life threatening - but I don't ask to speak to the chef at every restaurant I go to.

Rarely have I spoken with a chef, but I will usually have them check ingredients. I don't know. I'm very sympathetic to the allergy thing and think more restaurants should be more willing to accommodate dietary restrictions, but I also think that- sometimes it means choosing restaurants I know can accommodate me, or are allergy friendly, or whatever. If I had a life threatening allergy, and there was even a need to ask about a certain dish - I'd order it and say "I'd love this but if you can just double check with the head chef before you put the order in that'd be awesome."

And still sometimes I get sick, which is the suck.

Oh -I ask whether things contain peanuts (other allergens for me) all the time - and often they run back and consult with someone and come back to let me know. To me - that's different than asking for the chef.

[gretchenindisguise]

Mar 4, 2015 18:07:34 GMT -5 @wandering said:

Mar 4, 2015 18:00:44 GMT -5 gretchenindisguise said:

My peanut allergy is life threatening - but I don't ask to speak to the chef at every restaurant I go to.

That really sucks. Do you not eat out often? Granted I don't have food allergies, but I think I would be so nervous about cross contamination like whoa if it was a life threatening situation. 

I eat out all the time.

I honestly think I probably have more of a chance of getting in a serious car accident driving on the highway to/from work every day. And just like driving - I take certain steps to mitigate the risk (go to places I know - order things that are likely to be safe - ask if there are peanuts - carry an epi pen - etc).

[catbus]

Mar 4, 2015 18:07:34 GMT -5 @wandering said:

Mar 4, 2015 18:00:44 GMT -5 gretchenindisguise said:

My peanut allergy is life threatening - but I don't ask to speak to the chef at every restaurant I go to.

That really sucks. Do you not eat out often? Granted I don't have food allergies, but I think I would be so nervous about cross contamination like whoa if it was a life threatening situation. 

I don't know of any minor peanut allergies. They're kind of life-threatening by nature, as far as I know. So you do your best, have Epi-Pen(s) on hand, and go about your life.

There are degrees of sensitivity, for sure. I have never had a reaction to eating M&Ms, for example, though they have the standard disclaimer that they're produced in a facility that also processes peanuts and tree nuts. Some people do react at that level. But in any case, once a reaction has been triggered, peanut allergy=serious business.

[aussiecrush]

Depending on how the question was phrased, I would expect the meal and medical expenses back. We seldom eat out, between B's ASD and the severity of his egg allergy, it's tough. After a cross contamination reaction, I ask to speak with the chef or manager unless it's a place we are very familiar with. Glad the kiddo is okay.

[Deleted]

Mar 4, 2015 18:16:57 GMT -5 catbus said:

Mar 4, 2015 18:07:34 GMT -5 @wandering said:

That really sucks. Do you not eat out often? Granted I don't have food allergies, but I think I would be so nervous about cross contamination like whoa if it was a life threatening situation. 

I don't know of any minor peanut allergies. They're kind of life-threatening by nature, as far as I know. So you do your best, have Epi-Pen(s) on hand, and go about your life.

There are degrees of sensitivity, for sure. I have never had a reaction to eating M&Ms, for example, though they have the standard disclaimer that they're produced in a facility that also processes peanuts and tree nuts. Some people do react at that level. But in any case, once a reaction has been triggered, peanut allergy=serious business.

Ahh ok, I see what you mean. When gretchen said life threatening I took that to mean that with cross contamination, such as your M&M example, she would have an anaphylactic reaction every time. 

[ECB]

Mar 4, 2015 17:56:10 GMT -5 mp said:

Mar 4, 2015 17:49:15 GMT -5 @savestheday said:

My kid has a life threatening allergy. I would sue.

Not being combative, I promise. But in your case, would you have asked "does this dish have peanuts?" or would you have asked more questions? Would you have been content with the server's answer, or would you have asked them to check with the chef or manager? If it's life threatening, I really hope you wouldn't have stopped there, you know?

Celiac disease is not life threatening, but I sure as heck will still check with someone if I have ANY doubts to ensure that the best effort is being made to avoid cross contamination. And then I tip well because I realize that's annoying, lol.

We literally just got home from going out to dinner w/ DS, who also has celiac, and I'll basically sit next to mp on all of this.  As others said, out of the gate? No, I wouldn't sue. But if the restaurant responds poorly, I may reconsider this.

But I put a LOT of the onus for DSs disease on us.  For asking questions, for asking servers to check, and even for looking for certain signs that they "get" it.

Like tonight- the restaurant is one we've been too many times and I trust the FOOD, but it's the server that I'll get nervous about (more that they put the order in right). We'll ask for the servers we know. But tonight we got a new guy. When he brought the salad out and told us that he put the croutons on the side in case DS wanted any of the salad, I knew that he got it and felt comfortable.

[ECB]

Mar 4, 2015 19:05:40 GMT -5 mofongo said:

I had a major FB fight once about peanut allergies b/c my very educated friend didn't understand why some schools are peanut free.

I've had similar "discussions" too. One friend in particular was very eye-rolley/disparaging about peanut free. She just didn't get the "big deal". Peanut butter is easy - I get it. DS LOVES pb&js. He eats them almost daily . But if we were told no more, o.k. then, we'd find another easy lunch.

Kids can DIE from peanut allergies. Why people can't find another lunch for their kids in order to make sure their kid's classmates stay safe is beyond me.

[catbus]

Mar 4, 2015 19:15:57 GMT -5 ECB said:

Mar 4, 2015 19:05:40 GMT -5 mofongo said:

I had a major FB fight once about peanut allergies b/c my very educated friend didn't understand why some schools are peanut free.

I've had similar "discussions" too. One friend in particular was very eye-rolley/disparaging about peanut free. She just didn't get the "big deal". Peanut butter is easy - I get it. DS LOVES pb&js. He eats them almost daily . But if we were told no more, o.k. then, we'd find another easy lunch.

Kids can DIE from peanut allergies. Why people can't find another lunch for their kids in order to make sure their kid's classmates stay safe is beyond me.

I've actually known people who basically think all allergies are the same. Like, peanut allergy means sneezing, like with seasonal/environmental allergens. One time I got really riled up reading a Consumerist comment thread about an airline switching from peanuts to pretzels as their in-flight snack. There were actually people saying that this was unfair to those who want peanuts, and that they'd "show them" by bringing their own peanuts on board. I still get angry thinking about the idiocy. 

[wambam]

Team mp.

Both my H and I have a food allergy. His will kill him. We are polite, but annoying when we dine out and usually end up talking to a chef or manager unless it's a place we frequent regularly.