Counseling/ warning employees

[StephaniePlum]

Mostly lurker here adking for some advice- thanks so much in advance (and pls excuse typos, I'm on my phone)-

I manage 6 employees, one of whom is a few grade levels down from the others. His job is to assist each of them and each of them has complained in the last month that he is passive aggressive, can be an obstacle and generally just not pleasant to work with. He has some personal stuff going on that no one knows, but issues really came to a head this week. I think he's great but can't have him on the team if he can't get along with the rest of the team.

Any advice/ anecdotes on what has/ has not worked for you in the past in terms of effective counseling?

PDQ- just in case!

Thanks so much!

[Deleted]

Some of my coworkers have similar issues with our department admin, because they treat him like the help and not like the indispensable member of our team that he is. Are you sure he's not being mistreated? If you are, maybe do an in depth review of his job description & make sure he understands that people are asking him to do things that are in his purview. If not, a review of them with your other employees may be in order.

[lime]

I'd have an in-depth conversation with him about what his job entails to make sure he understands what his job description is.

Let him know that being an obstacle is going to effect his ability to keep his job.


ETA - sorry this sounds rambly and poorly worded. I'm totally slammed at work and tired. 

[miniroller]

I absolutely agree that a review (even an informal "How're things goin? Here's how they're Goin for us...") is in order. Can you request that he acts in more of a helpful/ subservient manner, Obvs wording it completely differently.
"So sometimes you're taken as a bit rough (better word?) among fellow employees. I think if we could change the tone & language with which you speak with them, it would lead to an all-around better environment."
If he's a smart guy, he should be capable of being trained to do this. I'm thinking you sort've instruct him on proper submission while padding it with his qualities that make him great at this job.

[StephaniePlum]

Thanks all- great advice! It's definitely his issue and not the other parts of the team because I have heard similar feedback from non-teammbers. I had been waiting until end of year reviews to deliver my request- but based on recent events, tomorrow is the day. This is my least favorite part of being a manager...,, ?

[Deleted]

Mar 5, 2015 21:24:22 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

I'd be pretty brisk, and pretty blunt. Personal stuff is one thing, but blocking others in their work has to stop.

"Your job is to do X Y and Z for the six people on our team, as well as do A B and C whenever asked, by any of them. It's come to my attention that you are having trouble doing this, and it's a real problem. I want to talk with you about how you can do better. " and then tell him what he needs to do better.

Agree. I may also add something like "I expect to see immediate improvement". Tell him you will meet with him in a week to discuss progress.

Follow up the meeting with an email documenting the issue and your expectations "per our meeting today. X is not acceptable and improvement is needed."

Then put him on a formal plan of improvement isn't demonstrated promptly.

If he brings up personal stuff as excuse, you can let him know leave options available to him, but firmly let him know it is important to keep performance at acceptable level while he's at work.

[So_Fetch]

Mar 5, 2015 21:34:07 GMT -5 StephaniePlum said:

Thanks all- great advice! It's definitely his issue and not the other parts of the team because I have heard similar feedback from non-teammbers. I had been waiting until end of year reviews to deliver my request- but based on recent events, tomorrow is the day. This is my least favorite part of being a manager...,, ?

Please dont wait for a formal review to give feedback like this. He should be given the opportunity to address the issues prior to a formal review. I realize you are talking to him now so it doesnt apply, but for the future.

My best advice is to talk to him and set clear expectations. Follow up with an email outlining your conversation and reiterating the expectations. I like to end with something like "if this is not your understanding or if you have questions, please let me know." That way you know you are on the same page and you have documentation if the behavior continues.

Good luck! It really is the worst part of management.

[So_Fetch]

Mar 5, 2015 21:34:07 GMT -5 StephaniePlum said:

Thanks all- great advice! It's definitely his issue and not the other parts of the team because I have heard similar feedback from non-teammbers. I had been waiting until end of year reviews to deliver my request- but based on recent events, tomorrow is the day. This is my least favorite part of being a manager...,, ?

Please dont wait for a formal review to give feedback like this. He should be given the opportunity to address the issues prior to a formal review. I realize you are talking to him now so it doesnt apply, but for the future.

My best advice is to talk to him and set clear expectations. Follow up with an email outlining your conversation and reiterating the expectations. I like to end with something like "if this is not your understanding or if you have questions, please let me know." That way you know you are on the same page and you have documentation if the behavior continues.

Good luck! It really is the worst part of management.

[olegregg]

Best to get the discussion over with now, even though it's hard. Good luck,frances.

[frenchies]

Mar 6, 2015 0:24:37 GMT -5 So_Fetch said:

Mar 5, 2015 21:34:07 GMT -5 StephaniePlum said:

Thanks all- great advice! It's definitely his issue and not the other parts of the team because I have heard similar feedback from non-teammbers. I had been waiting until end of year reviews to deliver my request- but based on recent events, tomorrow is the day. This is my least favorite part of being a manager...,, ?

Please dont wait for a formal review to give feedback like this. He should be given the opportunity to address the issues prior to a formal review. I realize you are talking to him now so it doesnt apply, but for the future.

My best advice is to talk to him and set clear expectations. Follow up with an email outlining your conversation and reiterating the expectations. I like to end with something like "if this is not your understanding or if you have questions, please let me know." That way you know you are on the same page and you have documentation if the behavior continues.

Good luck! It really is the worst part of management.

Agreed. Nothing in the review should come as a surprise- you should address issues as they arise to give him a chance of addressing them when it counts.

You can speak kindly while also not pulling punches. I think you need to have a clear expectation of what you want as a result of the conversation and make sure to communicate that. "Going forward, I need to see you doing x y and z, and no more of ABC behavior." He needs to go away knowing exactly what the problem is and exactly the steps you expect him to take to fix it. And make sure he knows that even though others brought this to your attention, YOU think it is a problem. In other words don't make him feel like his coworker's threw him under the bus or that you're only talking to him because they complained--he needs to know this is coming from you.

[Booze Raccoon]

I would talk to him.  It might be a case where he feels unappreciated or taken advantage of.  He deserves to have his side heard.  If that is not the case, he needs to be told that his behavior is causing some problems and he needs to work on it.

[noodle]

Everyone has given great advice. I would also add that you could ask him to share his thoughts on plans for next steps. So: "your performance in X, Y and Z have not met expectations. A, B and C are what is expected from a person in your job. Let's discuss a plan/What do you plan to do to get to A, B, C and here is what I am committing to doing to help you with that."

Basically get his buy in for what he will do to change, but also make sure he feels supported. Poor behavior can be a sign that an employee isn't sure of how to do their job/needs help.

But I would also be sure to keep it about the job and the expectations of any employee in that role; is this employee able to meet the requirements of the job. So "this job requires that the [title of job] assist all members of the department. You have missed the mark by...." rather than "I need you to help everyone..." Small difference but helps make it clear that, regardless of personal issues, there is an expectation for the role and if he can't meet the requirements he might not be able to remain in the job. Nothing personal.

[Bernadine]

You mention grades- are you a fed? Do you have a general counsel or employee relations office who can give guidance?

[btay]

I was the employee in this story once. I was having tons of personal issues at home and it was coming to work with me. My boss had sat me down and said "I know you have a lot going on right now, but we still pay you to do a job, so if you are unable to do that, take some time off and get the help you need so you can." It was really eye opening because I had no idea how negative I had become.