My coworkers are giving me the run around about this today.
DS2 bday party was yesterday. He turned 2 and we didn't get him a gift. We always throw a big party and consider that their gift.
Now, once they turn 5 or so, we usually get them something small so they won't feel left out.
But he got sooooo much stuff. 15 outfits, 2 personalized pillows, a personalized backpack, water table, grill, MagnaTiles, ride on toy, plus several other smaller toys, as well as movies and books.
Frankly, it's excessive. So we look at it like, we're already spending $$ to throw a party, he doesn't need anything, so we just skip a gift when they're too young to know any better. DS1 will be 6 in May and we will get him a gift, just so he knows we didn't "forget" but honestly, I don't think he would notice anyways.
Yes, we do buy our daughter a birthday gift. We also have a family birthday party for her. If you didn't want to buy him something you could have taken him somewhere like the zoo or something.
Post by justbecause on Mar 9, 2015 13:26:15 GMT -5
My youngest will be two soon. Since I have a four year old boy as well, you can imagine we are inundated with toys, books, etc. I was going to get him a new nightlight and take him to the pizza arcade to ride the jeep and eat his favorite pizza. Eta- my house is pretty small and we have every big toy we can fit in the house. Maybe a teeter totter for both of them.
Yes but nothing extravagant. Dd's biggest gift was her bike at her 3rd bday. We took her to the zoo for her 2nd bday and let her pick something from the gift shop. For her first birthday she got tub toys and for ds' first he got a m&d truck set deal. We make birthdays really special but again, nothing excessive. Both kids get tons of stuff from relatives and friends.
When DD came downstairs and saw her bike, her expression was just amazing. She still talks about it haha
Post by Kcthepouchh8r on Mar 9, 2015 13:33:02 GMT -5
Yes. My kids (so far) have chosen experiences over parties so we have done indoor water park, gymnastics day with lunch at Her fav restaurant as the presents. We do a small family party and invite a few friends/their kids but nothing larger scale yet. We always have something for them to unwrap first thing when they wake up as well as their room decorated with balloons and have since they were two.
Yes, we get them a gift. Not hugely expensive, but something. Last year DS turned 4 and got a bike. That's probably the biggest thing he's received from us, but yes, he always gets something.
I really don't think it matters at that age, he doesn't know. And honestly when mine were that young we even packed away some of their birthday presents and brought them back out as regifts at Christmas. All 3 of mine have fall birthdays so by Christmas we are inundated with gifts. They also tend to get overwhelmed with that much stuff and don't even play with all of it. At 2yo mine were bored of unwrapping gifts after about four of five presents anyway.
Yes. My kids (so far) have chosen experiences over parties so we have done indoor water park, gymnastics day with lunch at Her fav restaurant as the presents. We do a small family party and invite a few friends/their kids but nothing larger scale yet. We always have something for them to unwrap first thing when they wake up as well as their room decorated with balloons and have since they were two.
Ok but her kid turned 2. I doubt he told her wanted to go to the children's museum.
Yes. My kids (so far) have chosen experiences over parties so we have done indoor water park, gymnastics day with lunch at Her fav restaurant as the presents. We do a small family party and invite a few friends/their kids but nothing larger scale yet. We always have something for them to unwrap first thing when they wake up as well as their room decorated with balloons and have since they were two.
Ok but her kid turned 2. I doubt he told her wanted to go to the children's museum.
At two they didn't tell me but we did a family trip instead of a larger party.
We kind of do the opposite, so far, for birthdays than we do christmas. We don't really ask what they want, we look for something they'd need or want that's fun, too. Play kitchen, bike, climber for the yard, water table, etc. We've also done a big canvas of the eiffel tower for DD1 once. So, not always a toy.
Yes, I get him something he wants. This time he asked for a toy firetruck, golf cart and tank. All from the hardware store and cost me less than $20 total. But it's what he really wants. He's getting a baby brother this summer so we are having a huge party at a gymnastics center for him. It will be his last hoorah as an only child. In the future he will always get a gift from us and as long as it's within reason it will be something he wants/has asked for.
I have not bought DD a birthday gift ever. We did huge parties for 1 and 2 and took her and her cousin to Disney for #3. This year I will probably get her some stuff that she needs (summer clothes, art supplies etc). We have 3 sets of grandparents, and 4 sets of Aunts and Uncles that all buy them very nice gifts. (ride on toys, playyards, motorized cars, etc.) DS's birthday is this weekend and I haven't gotten him a gift. When he gets older, of course. But not at this point. Seriously there is nothing he needs and nothing else I want in this house.
I would have given her the bike for her birthday instead - but that's partly b/c we don't do gifts that big for Easter. But then she might not be able to use it right away w/ a february birthday.
I really can't fathom not getting my kid a present for their birthday, no matter how old they are. I mean, I understand logically why people would choose not to but it would feel all sorts of wrong to me.
We're talking presents in my house now because M turns one in May. I mean obviously she won't know what it means or expect a present but she's getting one. Plus Joey would be really confused and upset if she didn't get a gift. She's getting an Easter basket too.
I'm not sure why it feels wrong. I'm not going to get defensive about this but seriously, I spent $400 on a 3rd birthday party at which DD got 12 gifts from friends alone plus the stuff my sister, brother, mother, mil, and uncle in law sent. This is 2 months after Christmas. I could barely think of anything to buy her. She got $2 scissors at the last minute which I hardly count as a gift. Her party this year was similar. We gave her nothing. I could have taken stuff that I have stashed for Easter I suppose but I didnt. shes getting a bike, Easter basket filled with summer stuff and tickets for frozen live a mere 1.5 after her birthday. The kid really could want for nothing. I don't feel bad for not getting her a present.
Yes, this exactly. I don't like the idea that it's wrong to not buy your oblivious 2-year old a birthday gift that they don't need. Glad I'm not the only one that feels this way!
I'm not sure why it feels wrong. I'm not going to get defensive about this but seriously, I spent $400 on a 3rd birthday party at which DD got 12 gifts from friends alone plus the stuff my sister, brother, mother, mil, and uncle in law sent. This is 2 months after Christmas. I could barely think of anything to buy her. She got $2 scissors at the last minute which I hardly count as a gift. Her party this year was similar. We gave her nothing. I could have taken stuff that I have stashed for Easter I suppose but I didnt. shes getting a bike, Easter basket filled with summer stuff and tickets for frozen live a mere 1.5 after her birthday. The kid really could want for nothing. I don't feel bad for not getting her a present.
Like I said, I get it logically. But I could never actually do it. I don't think other people need to feel guilty about it. But I personally would. That's my issue.
But I also don't consider a big party for a one or two year old a party for them. It's for the adults. The babies don't care if you have one person over or 50.
I disagree with this. DS2 had a blast with all the people he loved in one place. My nephew had his 2nd birthday a week earlier at a bouncy place and he definitely loved that. And those were both for them.
We are opposites kimbus. I buy very little during the year. I don't know - they get stuff they need replenished - craft/art stuff, side walk chalk, bubbles, pool stuff. But I rarely, if ever, buy a bigger toy just because. I do that at birthday or christmas and a few small things at easter. Not much else. When I find a sale, I buy and save for the next holiday.
Clothes don't really count to me.
We probably grew up the same - not much when it wasn't a holiday or birthday, but great gifts then.
and beantrees, I don't think anyone here is saying you should feel bad about not buying something. You asked if we did and most of us said yes and can't imagine not.
We do, because there has usually been something I thought we needed or that I couldn't resist getting. I do think that it's absolutely fine at that age NOT to get a gift. They probably won't even notice. I know my kids are inundated with toys at b-days and Christmas also (we have big family parties), and sometimes we held our gifts for a couple days later b/c they get completely overwhelmed during the party.
We are opposites kimbus. I buy very little during the year. I don't know - they get stuff they need replenished - craft/art stuff, side walk chalk, bubbles, pool stuff. But I rarely, if ever, buy a bigger toy just because. I do that at birthday or christmas and a few small things at easter. Not much else. When I find a sale, I buy and save for the next holiday.
Clothes don't really count to me.
We probably grew up the same - not much when it wasn't a holiday or birthday, but great gifts then.
and beantrees, I don't think anyone here is saying you should feel bad about not buying something. You asked if we did and most of us said yes and can't imagine not.
I'm bad about toys. They don't get big stuff unless it's an occasion but I'll throw $20 at something random here and there just because I think they'll like it. I don't count clothes when I do the twice a year big shopping for the next couple seasons. But when Joey finds a Thomas shirt at Target for $6 that he doesn't need but really likes and I buy it, I'm not kidding myself into thinking that doesn't count as spoiling him lol
OH yea, I say no to all of that. They hardly even ask for things when we go shopping. I still try to buy most clothes when they aren't w/ me, but that's getting harder w/ dd1.
Yes, I can't imagine not buying my kid something for her birthday. We haven't done a big friends party yet but even then I'd still want to get her something special. She doesn't get much during the year so she gets quite a bit for her birthday and Christmas.
We are opposites kimbus. I buy very little during the year. I don't know - they get stuff they need replenished - craft/art stuff, side walk chalk, bubbles, pool stuff. But I rarely, if ever, buy a bigger toy just because. I do that at birthday or christmas and a few small things at easter. Not much else. When I find a sale, I buy and save for the next holiday.
Clothes don't really count to me.
We probably grew up the same - not much when it wasn't a holiday or birthday, but great gifts then.
and beantrees, I don't think anyone here is saying you should feel bad about not buying something. You asked if we did and most of us said yes and can't imagine not.
Post by minerswife17 on Mar 9, 2015 15:05:30 GMT -5
DD's second birthday is coming up and we've already bought her so many presents. We are throwing her a birthday party (about 40 people total.) We know she will get plenty of gifts but personally it never crossed my mind to NOT give her presents.
We are opposites kimbus. I buy very little during the year. I don't know - they get stuff they need replenished - craft/art stuff, side walk chalk, bubbles, pool stuff. But I rarely, if ever, buy a bigger toy just because. I do that at birthday or christmas and a few small things at easter. Not much else. When I find a sale, I buy and save for the next holiday.
Clothes don't really count to me.
We probably grew up the same - not much when it wasn't a holiday or birthday, but great gifts then.
and beantrees, I don't think anyone here is saying you should feel bad about not buying something. You asked if we did and most of us said yes and can't imagine not.
I agree with almost all of this. My kids don't get big toys or books throughout the year (and really we have markers and crayons coming out of my ears because I may or may not be a craft supply hoarder) and the big kids' birthdays are April and may, so Easter baskets are small too. But I always get them something for their birthdays and Christmas, even if its not the "biggest" and its usually not, because my parents and aunt spoil them. Only difference is clothes totally count in my book. G gets excited about "cool" new shirts. So he's getting 2 as part of his birthday gift. I want to get him a fish tank but I have a feeling that my parents will offer. Sweet!
ETA: I do get clothes throughout the year, but its usually something they need size/weather-wise.
@kimbus22 I'm cheap, $20 toys are birthday presents in this house, lol
Post by mamaalysson on Mar 9, 2015 17:20:55 GMT -5
I don't think we bought either kid a first birthday present. We had a family party, and I made them a photo book of their first years. Other than that, they got plenty from family. We have bought DD one big thing (and a photo book of her year) for the rest of her birthdays - 2: scoot bike; 3: wagon; 4: scooter. And threw a party. DS is getting a scooter and a party this year. And we always decorate the crap out of the house for birthday morning, make a cake, and, starting at 3, DD got to choose what we ate and what we did on her birthday.
We did not give DS a gift for his first two birthdays. We threw parties, and he got TONS of gifts from family & friends. He didn't miss out on anything.
For his 3rd & 4th birthdays, he was much more aware. We gave him a couple of gifts in addition to his parties. It definitely felt excessive to me.
I think for his next birthday we will scale down the party and give his gift(s) more consideration. I like the idea of "pick two friends for an experience" but I also worry about hurt feelings from friends who have always been invited. So maybe we will wait until kindy to scale down the parties. FWP, I know!
Post by fancynewbeesly on Mar 9, 2015 19:17:48 GMT -5
We are the first too admit that Reese has WAY too many toys and things. And actually majority of it ISN'T us buying it---care packages and gift cards for her to TRU and other toy stores; etc. We just spent some of her Toys R Us gift cards that she got from Hanukkah.
As a school librarian, I am a sucker for books--and I consider it an investment. That eventually I will donate them back to the libraries where I work!
Her first birthday we had a party and got her a wagon; her second birthday we had a party and got a playset for outside; third we had a small little party with 3 of her friends and we got her the Cinderella Castle Lego Set. This birthday, we aren't sure. She wants an American Girl Doll; so we are thinking about getting it for her and than taking a trip to the store to have lunch there instead of a party.
Yes, we always get a gift, even if it's small. It's their birthday! I agree with Kimbus on this one -- a 1-2 yo gives zero fucks if you have four people and a supermarket cake or spend $500 and have a ton of people -- it's about you, not the kid. And I say this as someone who did the big parties.
Sure when they are older if experiences is the way they want to go, that sounds great. But right now it is no skin off of my back to but a gift. Like Lala we try to anticipate stuff they will "need" and that you would buy anyway. Yeah, they get lots of stuff, but FFS they are 2 and 4. It doesn't always need to be about the practical.
I always get something for my boys on their birthday. Their parties have never been on the actual day and I like for them to have something to open when they wake up. This probably stems from having a December birthday and being really territorial about it growing up because I got a lot of combined gifts. I am having trouble finding things to get for DS2, we have lots for DS1 and he's delayed so not really into most toys.