If you quit your job to SAH while on ML...

[luv2rn4fun]

What did your resignation letter say?  Did you give 2 weeks notice or wait til closer to your return date?

My boss knows I'm not coming back so this is just a formality for HR (but I still want to do the right thing and leave on good terms...I honestly would be open to consulting from home (my boss knows this but we haven't discussed it since my leaving on ML), just not sure how realistic it is both personally and for the company).  Two weeks notice is this Friday as I'm supposed to return on March 30th.

[gibbylod]

I haven't done this obviously since I freelance, but I'm sure you could just write a regular resignation letter as if you were still there since technically you still work for them. And I would give them the 2 weeks notice.

[spunkarella]

I haven't done this, but I would just do a very brief generic letter, the same as any other resignation letter. I would not go into why you are resigning or your maternity leave, especially since it's a formality for HR. They just want something to put in your file to document that you resigned with notice and are eligible for rehire.

[thefield]

Your chances of leaving on good terms seem slim.

Why did you wait so long to talk about consulting?

I guess if you're insistent on doing this, short and sweet is best.

[luv2rn4fun]

Mar 10, 2015 9:34:22 GMT -5 thefield said:

Your chances of leaving on good terms seem slim.

Why did you wait so long to talk about consulting?

I guess if you're insistent on doing this, short and sweet is best.

I disagree with this.  I have been VERY honest with my manager...I told him after our second loss (back in January 2014, so before this pregnancy even existed.  Also told him about this pregnancy as soon as the betas came back positive) that I would be SAH once we had a kid.  I did everything in my power to bring on a replacement but they were in denial of me leaving (they would love for me to still do my job, even if it's WFH the majority of it.  FWIW, I'm the ONLY person in my role and have been for 7 years...and it's a highly specialized job that took 6 months to fill when they were searching for me).

I didn't wait this long to talk to them (we talked about it multiple times, very in depth during my review in August).  My boss simply said that I can't consult while on ML.  Also, it's really NBD if it doesn't work out consulting wise...we don't need the money and between C and my mom's terminal illness (without a transplant she won't live to see 2016) I have enough on my plate if I decide not to work.  In all honesty I would be working more to keep the department running/releasing software than for my own benefit.

[thefield]

Some of the information you provided would have been helpful in the original post.

Instead, you made it sound like the classic take the maternity leave (and whatever benefits comes with it) and screw over the company right before you're scheduled to return situation. You did mention that your direct boss knew, but that makes it worse, as though he's complicit in helping you scam the company for benefits you are only entitled to if you plan to return.

Your new information provides more context than that, but it's still not a great situation.

If you don't want to work at all, that's fine. Own it and give your notice.

If you are actually interested in consulting or working from home (your story's kind of all over the place on that), then you should be talking about that arrangement right now (and should have been talking about it months ago).

If you and your boss have both known you're going to quit rather than return from maternity leave, you've both made the situation worse by letting it go on this long. They could have hired someone new back in December who would be on their way to developing the necessary skills. Instead, everything's still in limbo.

I am very sorry for your pregnancy loss and your mother's diagnosis. I know that's a lot of stress, but it doesn't really change your situation professionally.

[Deleted]

That seems a little harsh thefield. It seems to me like the OP was very up front with her boss about her plans, and the boss buried his/her head in the sand. That not the OP's problem. She would like to leave on good terms and is asking how to do that, and when.

Different organizations have different policies. I know that for me, if I so much as answered an email while on maternity leave it jeopardized the rest of my leave. It was a firm, "you're not working right now." The boss may have needed to put that distance between the OP and her job during maternity leave per the company's policy.

That said, luv2rn4fun I would send in a formal letter now. Keep it simple. Good luck!

[thefield]

This is a hot button issue for me, especially after reading the maternity leave thread on CEP in the last couple of days. One of the reasons that employers are reluctant to offer any paid maternity leave is because it gets taken advantage of.

Just because you and your boss are in cahoots to screw the company doesn't make it right.

[InBetweenDays]

I'm not sure why you wouldn't give them two weeks notice. They may be in denial because you haven't officially told them you're leaving/given your notice. If everyone is aware of your plan I don't see why you'd wait to tell them.

Sent from my SCH-I535 using proboards

[Deleted]

+1 @starry. The atrocious maternity leave policies in this country make it difficult to return to work, no matter the situation. If I've earned a benefit like a leave, you can bet your ass I'm taking all of it! And the OP TOLD HER BOSS openly that she wouldn't be returning. Her boss' decision to do nothing is not the Op's problem. She's not in cahoots. She's taking a leave she EARNED.

This subject makes me ragey. Seriously, I'm about to run for office on a "family leave for everyone!" Platform.

[thefield]

Wow, @starry! That's the kind of attitude that will really make the workplace friendlier for our daughters. Abuse of policies intended to foster the retention of employees after maternity leave will lead to those policies disappearing, not an improvement in the situation. I can almost guarantee that the abuse of maternity leave policies will/would be a major part of the policy argument regarding better maternity leave legislation at the state and federal level.

I note that we actually have no information about the type of maternity leave benefits that the OP has received. All we know now is that they could be 3 months into the 6 month search process for her replacement, but they're not.

[thefield]

Perhaps I should not have turned this into a larger discussion.

Individuals looking out for themselves/abusing policies absolutely impacts the big picture and the likelihood of other women receiving those (or better) benefits in the future. This isn't about feeling sorry for the corporations. This is about looking at how your individual actions impact the greater good (or perhaps make the situation worse).

[cjeanette]

Mar 10, 2015 10:40:03 GMT -5 @starry said:

I will always defend taking whatever you can from your company because they sure as hell will fire you without a second thought if they needed to. Be mad about the overall sorry state of ML policies in this country, not people who "take advantage of" eight weeks of STD benefits without plans of returning. Yes, they really are ruining things for everyone. Oh wait no.

It's not just the company you screw over.  It's the employees who fill in for you while you are gone expecting you to come back.  Your job could have been filled much sooner if proper notice is given.

It creates a perception of women in general.  It makes employers question the intentions of those women who want or need to work after ML. 

[thefield]

That ship has already sailed.

[D2M]

Dear XYZ, My last day at ABC job will be Date, 2015. That's it. In the past, I've written a brief "I have enjoyed my # of years at ABC job. Thank you" but I don't think that's even necessary.

I am sorry to hear about your mom, luv2rn. You have a lot on your plate. Hugs.

[cjeanette]

Mar 10, 2015 10:57:34 GMT -5 @littlemoxie said:

Mar 10, 2015 10:50:15 GMT -5 thefield said:

Perhaps I should not have turned this into a larger discussion.

Individuals looking out for themselves/abusing policies absolutely impacts the big picture and the likelihood of other women receiving those (or better) benefits in the future. This isn't about feeling sorry for the corporations. This is about looking at how your individual actions impact the greater good (or perhaps make the situation worse).

1 - you realize you say "perhaps I shouldn't have talked about x" and then "let's talk about x, x, x... and have you heard of x?"

2 - companies look out for themselves all the time and the whole reason we need labor laws is because they will absolutely take advantage of their employees when it's convenient to them, regardless of whether the employee did something "bad" or not.  Sure, there are some assholes out there who don't realize that they are forcing women into a shitty situation and then blame the woman when they make a tough choice and use that as an excuse to treat all women like shit, but we should not be catering to those people.

Look, I don't necessarily agree with the way OP handled this situation, but I think your response to her was very harsh and subsequent responses seem to ignore the point of corporations and what history has taught us about how they will treat workers when given the chance.  Not to mention the entrenched societal sexism, which is the real problem.

In all fairness the initial post by the OP left out a few details. Harshness happens when people leave out important info when discussing a controversial issue.

[Deleted]

I don't disagree with cjeanette, maternity leave is difficult for coworkers. Wouldn't it better if we could all be up front about it without endangering our financial benefits?

If quit the day I went into labor, they'd pay out my accrued PTO at full time vacation hours (80 hours) and .25 sick leave (300 hours). If I used to all to cover my FMLA-ensured maternity leave, I get 100% of both. It makes more sense for me to use it over my maternity leave, whether I plan to return or not. I've earned those sick hours at 100%; why should I accept a 75% pay cut of 300 hours!?

[Deleted]

@little_Moxie the career mobility thing is driving me bonkers right now. I'm totally caught in it and it suuuuuucks!

[SJ]

I'm not sure I will ever learn not to open posts that start "If you xyz" when I have never remotely done xyz.

This is also a hot topic for me, but to try to answer the OP, I would suggest just writing a normal resignation letter.

[litebright]

I wrote a very generic resignation letter. 

Both my boss and HR knew I was not returning and we were on good terms, but HR requested that I NOT put in my resignation letter until my 12 weeks of leave were up (only had four weeks paid). Whether they were CYA so that I couldn't later say I'd been pressured to resign while on maternity leave or if that was their SOP I couldn't say, but I was more than willing to resign earlier so that they could start the hiring process and get someone in to replace me, and they very specifically asked me not to do that. 

[bowies]

Team starry and LM on this one.

OP, write the resignation letter as requested. I would also comb through your employee handbook for pertinent info. My company requires employees to be back to work for a time equal their leave to have no financial consequences. Otherwise, they have to pay for their company-paid benefits from during the leave (employer contribution to health insurance etc.). You don't want any surprises.

[anna7602]

Mar 10, 2015 10:38:54 GMT -5 thefield said:

This is a hot button issue for me, especially after reading the maternity leave thread on CEP in the last couple of days. One of the reasons that employers are reluctant to offer any paid maternity leave is because it gets taken advantage of.

Just because you and your boss are in cahoots to screw the company doesn't make it right.

A hot button issue for me is employers being assholes and either ignoring what women tell them they need post-ML to return successfully or promising them whatever so they will return and then making them feel like crap when the promises can't be kept, but "oh, you took the paid ML and now you're threatening to leave..."

Really, the situation for working families is just all kinds of fucked up all around in many American workplaces.

[ewall]

I can't quit while I'm on ML because my company is holding my 2014 bonus hostage. Little does HR know that I was paid 2 other sales bonuses while on leave

luv2rn4fun I'm going to ditto bowies comments. My company requires back payment of certain ML benefits if you do not return to work for a certain period of time. So just make sure you are covered there. And best of luck in your new SAHM job!

[noodleoo]

Mar 10, 2015 10:40:03 GMT -5 @starry said:

I will always defend taking whatever you can from your company because they sure as hell will fire you without a second thought if they needed to. Be mad about the overall sorry state of ML policies in this country, not people who "take advantage of" eight weeks of STD benefits without plans of returning. Yes, they really are ruining things for everyone. Oh wait no.

I have to agree with this.  I've seen and been screwed enough by more than one company that the concept of loyalty and fairness when dealing with corporations doesn't mean much to me anymore.  And I agree that ML is a benefit that you earn through your years of service, and that doesn't you are wrong to take it and then not return to work.

But this may be personal to me because my company is totally screwing me, and did it when they knew I was 5 months pregnant.  So whatever to thefield.

[vmars]

I am in NJ so 95% of my benefits were paid through the state from taxes I paid for fmla benefits, the rest was unpaid and I used 4.5 days of banked time at full pay. If I left before returning I wouldn't feel guilty bc I would have gotten that time regardless.

[jewel]

Mar 10, 2015 10:39:02 GMT -5 InBetweenDays said:

I'm not sure why you wouldn't give them two weeks notice. They may be in denial because you haven't officially told them you're leaving/given your notice. If everyone is aware of your plan I don't see why you'd wait to tell them.

Sent from my SCH-I535 using proboards

A person might wait until the very last second of ML because their employer will terminate them immediately if they give notice while on leave. Mine would, and HR told me exactly that before I went on leave. If you're out on paid leave, this makes a big difference. My leave was paid 100% through sick time I earned, which would have been worth nothing if I quit. Some companies also have a policy that mandates return of leave pay if you don't return for at least a day.

[InBetweenDays]

Mar 10, 2015 11:50:12 GMT -5 noodleoo said:

Mar 10, 2015 10:40:03 GMT -5 @starry said:

I will always defend taking whatever you can from your company because they sure as hell will fire you without a second thought if they needed to. Be mad about the overall sorry state of ML policies in this country, not people who "take advantage of" eight weeks of STD benefits without plans of returning. Yes, they really are ruining things for everyone. Oh wait no.

I have to agree with this.  I've seen and been screwed enough by more than one company that the concept of loyalty and fairness when dealing with corporations doesn't mean much to me anymore.  And I agree that ML is a benefit that you earn through your years of service, and that doesn't you are wrong to take it and then not return to work.

But this may be personal to me because my company is totally screwing me, and did it when they knew I was 5 months pregnant.  So whatever to thefield.

The OPs situation is a bit different because it sounds like her intentions were very out in the open, but I disagree with the bolded. Maternity leave isn't meant to just be a time-off perk you earn for having worked at your job for a certain amount of time. It is meant to legally provide parents with time to care for a new child while also making it easier for them to remain in the workforce.

[InBetweenDays]

Mar 10, 2015 12:04:54 GMT -5 jewel said:

Mar 10, 2015 10:39:02 GMT -5 InBetweenDays said:

I'm not sure why you wouldn't give them two weeks notice. They may be in denial because you haven't officially told them you're leaving/given your notice. If everyone is aware of your plan I don't see why you'd wait to tell them.

Sent from my SCH-I535 using proboards

A person might wait until the very last second of ML because their employer will terminate them immediately if they give notice while on leave. Mine would, and HR told me exactly that before I went on leave. If you're out on paid leave, this makes a big difference. My leave was paid 100% through sick time I earned, which would have been worth nothing if I quit. Some companies also have a policy that mandates return of leave pay if you don't return for at least a day.

I was talking specifically about her situation. She said her boss knew she was leaving, so I wouldn't think he would then fire her if she made it official.

[MadamePresident]

I sent a short concise letter to HR giving 2 week notice. Prior to sending the letter I looked through the employee handbook and spoke with HR to be sure there was no requirement from me to return.

I have no guilt about quitting on my FMLA leave. I was paid with STD (which I paid into) and PTO that I earned. The company I worked for had no problem not paying me for the 3 holidays that occurred while I was on leave, even when I had PTO to cover the days before and after.

[jewel]

Mar 10, 2015 12:23:45 GMT -5 InBetweenDays said:

Mar 10, 2015 12:04:54 GMT -5 jewel said:

A person might wait until the very last second of ML because their employer will terminate them immediately if they give notice while on leave. Mine would, and HR told me exactly that before I went on leave. If you're out on paid leave, this makes a big difference. My leave was paid 100% through sick time I earned, which would have been worth nothing if I quit. Some companies also have a policy that mandates return of leave pay if you don't return for at least a day.

I was talking specifically about her situation. She said her boss knew she was leaving, so I wouldn't think he would then fire her if she made it official.

Well, she said her boss knew and that the notice is an HR formality. It's possible that HR wouldn't be so understanding. Maybe everything is a complete non-issue? Only OP knows the flavor of her employer, but just because the boss is cool with it doesn't necessarily mean that HR is on the same page.

I'm sure I'm projecting a bit because I'm getting ready to quit after being back from ML for only a month, and am feeling weird about it. Even if my boss said we were good, I wouldn't trust HR to follow suit for one tiny second.