Sometimes I feel this way too. If I'm already agitated/anxious, and my H caresses my arm while we watch TV, I find it very aggravating. I tend to have a "heavy hand" myself when it comes to touching. For instance, I like to squeeze my H (sometimes kinda hard lol), whereas he likes to do the light caresses. Unfortunately I find a light caress sometimes feels like spiders crawling on my skin.
At first H was offended when I told him I don't always like the caressing (FWP right?), but I got him to understand that if I stop him, it doesn't mean I don't want him to touch me. I don't mind if he rests his hand on me, but not so lightly that I think a centipede got in my sleeve or something. Also it helps if you initiate touch and actually show him how you prefer it.
Post by luv2rn4fun on Mar 17, 2015 13:03:33 GMT -5
I would blame it on M. I never used to feel this way but recently do thanks to C needing me all.day.long. It also stems down to not wanting to spend time or talk to DH much...once I have the few minutes of "me time" I really don't want to do much but escape somewhere where I can't hear a peep. Or it could all be that we are just having a rough time with baby transition and I honestly just prefer when DH isn't around. I know this will change though...it's just a season, just like this is a season for you and your DH. Just continue to communicate with him and show him that you do still find him attractive (I'm on the other end where DH has really never shown that well and it's really hard).
Post by ginkgoleaf on Mar 17, 2015 20:41:25 GMT -5
I'd bet that it's from nursing/holding a baby so much. You're "touched out". Eventually it will get better. I definitely felt like that with my DS when he was a baby too.
I came in here to give you hugs, but... nevermind!
Instead, comforting looks from across the room. I've been feeling like this too, and I think it really is the babies' faults. I hope he also gets less teething clingy ASAP, and maybe that will help.
I also hate the caressing. I also don't like kissing my husband that much anymore. I don't mind a single kiss here and there or before bed, but I hate feeling his saliva on my lips and I usually wipe it off as soon as I can. Sometimes he will say, "come on make out with me" and I have no desire for that if it's not tied around having sex.
I don't understand what's wrong with me, I do love him and we have a good relationship, I just don't like being touched that much. Even a simple caress to me registers as though I'm being groped, it makes me feel real uncomfortable.
I also hate the caressing. I also don't like kissing my husband that much anymore. I don't mind a single kiss here and there or before bed, but I hate feeling his saliva on my lips and I usually wipe it off as soon as I can. Sometimes he will say, "come on make out with me" and I have no desire for that if it's not tied around having sex.
I don't understand what's wrong with me, I do love him and we have a good relationship, I just don't like being touched that much. Even a simple caress to me registers as though I'm being groped, it makes me feel real uncomfortable.
This is us, except reversed (you are my DH)...word for word. He also has zero sex drive so there's hardly any affection most days. It's probably the things I hate most about our marriage and has been very difficult for me personally because he said so many things opposite while we were dating/engaged (like he wanted to have sex every day, etc). I had a lot of anger towards him because of this and had to do some major work in counseling to accept it so that it's no longer a deal breaker destroying our relationship...because, like you, we have a pretty good relationship outside this one huge issue.