S/O ED issues

[achase123]

Yup, let's talk erectile dysfunction.

Let's just say that I've had quite a lot of experience, sexually, post-divorce. I would say that at least half of the partners I've had, have had some sort of ED issues. Some have blamed it on alcohol, some have blamed it on condoms (uhhh, ok??) and some haven't really been able to figure out what's going on.

Am I just in the minority here, or is this something to be expected when men get into their mid-late thirties?

C was the first guy who had ED issues-his were probably the worst. He was 36 years old at the time, I think.

J had some issues but I think he was really nervous because of a serious talk we'd had beforehand, so I'm going to chalk it up to that.

C#2 had so many issues that he actually had to take a pill before we had sex in order to get/maintain an erection (the first and ONLY time as he was the one who turned me off with the vulgar talk).

J #2 had a few issues one time when we had sex and blamed it on a thick condom. After that there were no issues. He's probably the person I had the best sex with, the most times.

V had issues both times we slept together. He was also drunk and he tried to blame it on that and "working out too hard" that morning.

Any thoughts on this? Anyone else experienced anything similar?

[achase123]

Ok, I just realized that this was more than half, otherwise I would be a little embarassed by the sheer numbers here. Carry on.

[liubotflittyfud]

Drinking, I've come across this problem. A bad case of whiskey dick normally. Or it would get there and then droop quite quickly.

xBF never had problems getting it up, he was 35, but he had trouble coming sometimes, normally if he was taking some sort of pain killer or drank too much.

[Deleted]

Half of my partners have had issues as well. It's sort of a bummer for all involved. I feel like it's just something to be expected or I'm just really unlucky

[wrathofkuus]

Aug 10, 2012 15:48:31 GMT -5 jellymankelly said:

I've had guys complain about not being able to keep it up with a condom on. I don't know if it's for real or of that's in the douche handbook as the thing you say to try to guilt a woman into doing it without a condom. It's interesting that it seems to be a common problem, though.

I've heard many guys say this, none of whom were trying to have bareback sex (or sex at all) with me at the time. Apparently it's a thing.

[dakotadangerdog]

WHO CAN GO 13 YEARS WITH NO SEX??

The last guy I was boning was 27, we did it a hand ful of times, and one time he couldn't get it up. He tried and tried, couldn't do it. Poor guy. And he couldn't blame it on the booze, it was the most sober he had been out of all of the times we had sex.

[stephbfan]

I had a BF who was really really bad. Once, he actually came while we were only kissing. Dude was 25 at the time.

[dakotadangerdog]

Aug 10, 2012 15:59:36 GMT -5 stephbfan said:

I had a BF who was really really bad. Once, he actually came while we were only kissing. Dude was 25 at the time.

Omg that poor guy He must have been so embarrassed.

[jojoandleo]

I have nothing to add except I thought this post was going to be about Eating Disorders. I obviously have food on the brain instead of penis...

[dakotadangerdog]

Aug 10, 2012 16:03:33 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

I have nothing to add except I thought this post was going to be about Eating Disorders. I obviously have food on the brain instead of penis...

haha that's what I thought too. I was like "who's been talking about eating disorders??"

[stephbfan]

Aug 10, 2012 16:00:47 GMT -5 dakotadangerdog said:

Aug 10, 2012 15:59:36 GMT -5 stephbfan said:

I had a BF who was really really bad. Once, he actually came while we were only kissing. Dude was 25 at the time.

Omg that poor guy He must have been so embarrassed.

I don't feel bad for him, well not anymore. I actually dated him for like 3 years and got engaged.

I pretty much didn't have any experience before him so I just didn't know that much about sex. As the time went off, I started getting frustrated because even though he felt bad about it, he did nothing to solve the problem. He also found oral sex disgusting.

And guy turned into a total psycho when I broke up with him to the point that I had to get a PO.

[jojoandleo]

Aug 10, 2012 16:04:06 GMT -5 dakotadangerdog said:

Aug 10, 2012 16:03:33 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

I have nothing to add except I thought this post was going to be about Eating Disorders. I obviously have food on the brain instead of penis...

haha that's what I thought too. I was like "who's been talking about eating disorders??"

Yeah, Penis makes more sense. I think my mind went there because I had sushi for lunch (which was delicious, but I am still starving).

[blackkitty]

I've never been with a guy that actually had ED
Once I was with a guy that couldn't get it up but he blamed whiskey (and we never tried again, in fact I never saw him again)

My current BF couldn't this morning but it was an isolated incident b/c his knee was hurting

I've never really had this problem other than those two cases.

ETA: this isn't ED related but a related penis problem. I was with this guy that was really young (like 20) and he had just gotten back from like a month at basic training and he put it in and came immediately. That was nuts.

[starburst604]

There was a guy when I was in Vegas who couldn't get it up, I think he was coked out so that could explain it. Early 30s I think. He actually randomly contacted me in on LinkedIn recently and asked for Boston restaurant recommendations. Not sure if he was feeling me out on getting together but I didn't respond till after he left town.

Another guy who was like 42 simply could not get it up. We had drinks but not a lot. He kept trying and trying and I just got all set and finally got dressed. Ugh. I did go out with him again and he got hard and came in about 30 seconds. Blah.

[achase123]

I think in most situations (with the condom excuse) it was due to someone being douchetastic and trying to get me to give him the ok to shed the latex.

[achase123]

I haven't had too many issues where someone came too fast except one BF in high school who I'm pretty sure came because we were kissing/making out and I decided to straddle him. He got up really fast and ran out of the room-haha!

[formerlyak]

On the condom thing, fi says it is a different feeling -- less sensation -- when wearing most condoms. But he still always wore one. We took some time to try different brands and their various "thin" varieties and found one we both like best, and that seems to work for us.

Also, I know I have male friends who say in the 20s and 30s, sometimes guys would blame ED type problems on a beer or whatnot, but really it was from taking matter into their own hands a little too often. That's a different sensation and if you get used to that it can make it harder to get there with regular sex.

[achase123]

Aug 10, 2012 16:46:39 GMT -5 formerlyak said:

On the condom thing, fi says it is a different feeling -- less sensation -- when wearing most condoms. But he still always wore one. We took some time to try different brands and their various "thin" varieties and found one we both like best, and that seems to work for us.

Also, I know I have male friends who say in the 20s and 30s, sometimes guys would blame ED type problems on a beer or whatnot, but really it was from taking matter into their own hands a little too often. That's a different sensation and if you get used to that it can make it harder to get there with regular sex.

That's interesting about the taking matters into their own hands too often.

When I dated J #2 he told me that he "never" did that because there was "no substitution for the real thing". Ummm, sure. I do not believe that for a second. That meant he went eight months with no sex and no jacking off. The first time we had sex he lasted a reasonable amount of time. So I call bullshit on that one.

[heavenly]

hmm... all the guys I have been with had this issue at some point or another. To keep this in perspective, all of my partners that I have been intimate with, I had a relationship with that lasted a minimum of 1 year or more so it wasn’t a constant issue with them but random through ought the relationships. One guy was age 21 when he had this come up a few times. But he performed well most of time. The others were age 35 and 30. I think there are many reasons behind this and could sometimes just be nothing.

[jm5855]

There are a LOT of reasons a guy maybe experiencing an ED issue.

As for the condom issue, wearing a condom reduces friction on the head, which in turn reduces the sensitivity a guy is feeling..so yes that can lead to unarousal. Thought this was common knowledge??!!!

[dakotadangerdog]

Aug 10, 2012 16:12:39 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

I've never been with a guy that actually had ED
Once I was with a guy that couldn't get it up but he blamed whiskey (and we never tried again, in fact I never saw him again)

My current BF couldn't this morning but it was an isolated incident b/c his knee was hurting

I've never really had this problem other than those two cases.

ETA: this isn't ED related but a related penis problem. I was with this guy that was really young (like 20) and he had just gotten back from like a month at basic training and he put it in and came immediately. That was nuts.

LOL That happened my first time with XH. He hadn't had sex in a while.

[doriswe]

Color me stupid but is whiskey dick really ED?

[doriswe]

Aug 10, 2012 17:21:33 GMT -5 FormerlyRR said:

Aug 10, 2012 17:13:50 GMT -5 doriswe said:

Color me stupid but is whiskey dick really ED?

Well, technically it seems like it is. But it also is preventable. So whiskey dick isn't acceptable, age/health issues are. /gavel

I feel like I need to do my research on this!! I always assumed ED was the medical condition that older dudes got....and whiskey dick was self inflicted.

[explorer2001]

Aug 10, 2012 16:03:33 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

I have nothing to add except I thought this post was going to be about Eating Disorders. I obviously have food on the brain instead of penis...

You and me both.

[achase123]

I thought whiskey dick was just the opposite. As in they got hard but could go for a long, long time. Sometimes too long. I guess I'm really off with that one.

[gozf]

Unarousal sounds like a non-benefit.

[formerlyak]

Aug 10, 2012 18:00:25 GMT -5 gozf said:

Unarousal sounds like a non-benefit.

Best post of the day!

[marigoldgirl]

Aug 10, 2012 17:56:59 GMT -5 achase123 said:

I thought whiskey dick was just the opposite. As in they got hard but could go for a long, long time. Sometimes too long. I guess I'm really off with that one.

This is what to much whiskey does to my BF. He stays interested and hard but takes longer to come. I have never minded. He is older 53 and has never had any problems getting aroused.

I also had an 50 year old that was fine and did not have any problems before BF. So I have not experienced the older dude can not get it up.

[doriswe]

I love Urban Dictionary!


whiskey dick

1225 up, 428 down





When too much alcohol has been consumed into a males body making it impossible to achieve an erection even in circumstances where it would be almost impossible not to.

Parker almost got his dick sucked last weekend but had Whiskey Dick. Later in the night he did state that "It is working."

[jojoandleo]

I have experienced whiskey dick maybe 2 times in my life, but no other ED problems. Then again, I would say about 60% of my sexual partners I only slept with once. I was a bit of a floozy in college. I never knew it was a prevalent problem. I also have only slept with 2 men over the age of 30, if that makes a difference.