My FIL. Moved to rural Southern GA, they have armadillos and the dog is going insane chasing them so FIL goes to the hardware/garden store (not a chain) to ask if they have thing to deal with armadillos. The guy at desk suggests lead poisoning. FIL asks where to get lead and how to administer the lead. " You're not from around here are you?"
Lol. I would have said the same thing as your FIL. My first thought was, "Hmm, lead poisoning. That seems dangerous." It took me a minute to realize what the cashier was saying.
My FIL. Moved to rural Southern GA, they have armadillos and the dog is going insane chasing them so FIL goes to the hardware/garden store (not a chain) to ask if they have thing to deal with armadillos. The guy at desk suggests lead poisoning. FIL asks where to get lead and how to administer the lead. " You're not from around here are you?"
Lol. I would have said the same thing as your FIL. My first thought was, "Hmm, lead poisoning. That seems dangerous." It took me a minute to realize what the cashier was saying.
I still don't understand it. OH WAIT I think I just got it. Your FIL isn't stupid, panbitch.*
I went to college in Arkansas, and freshman year, when meeting new people, we would often say where we were from. I got tired of hearing people mangle Massachusetts, so I just started saying I was from New England.
One person responded, "New England? Cool! I've never even been out of the country."
He thought New England was a colony in the South Pacific. He also later told me Massachusetts isn't supposed to have an "s" at the end. We all just spell it wrong.
I'm from New Mexico and have been told my English sounds very American. Oh, and do we have clean water and paved streets? :-#
This is the stupidest (and cruel) thing said to me: I have a co-worker who doesn't work in our office. He is an older guy (in his 60's--former lineman) and has absolutely ZERO filter.
He works on the Kenai Peninsula (outside of Anchorage). One day he picked me up at the Kenai airport to give me a ride to a union meeting we were both attending.
So I'm waiting outside the airport and he drives up. I open the passenger door to greet him, and he says "are you single"? I said "kind of...I'm a widow". He smirks and says "did you kill him? chuckle chuckle"
::record screetch:: DA FUCK? I stood there for a minute with my hands on my hips (still on the sidewalk) and told him I was this close to not getting into the damn truck with him, and that was the cruelest thing anyone has ever said to me.
He quickly apologized (but not very sincerely IMO) and said that I was a nice-looking woman and wondered why I was still single.
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
I knew someone who thought the word "scapegoat" was "escape goat" and could not be convinced otherwise. Because you blame it on the goat and then escape from the situation. He also tried to convince my friend that a breast exam was not a normal part of a gynecologist visit and that she should report her doctor for assault.
The goat story reminds me of Joey Tribbianis "moo point". But at least joey is a tv character and not a real person.
My H says mute point. I cannot convince him otherwise.
Post by sweetptater on Mar 27, 2015 11:37:38 GMT -5
My mom: My brother had cut his hand and was in the ER and my uncle had come to keep my mom company. She used his cell phone to call me, not noticing the 'no cell phones sign' on the wall. When the nurse told her that she couldn't use her phone in there, she said "Oh, it's okay. It's not mine."
My sister: "OMG. That company is called Two Men and a Truck, but their website is T women.com." Crickets.
My friend upon hearing that we were moving to Houston. "Not much to do in Wyoming, is there?"
Post by CajunShrimp on Mar 27, 2015 11:57:51 GMT -5
My SIL was visiting during the last summer Olympics. The gold medal soccer match was on tv.
SIL - So what does the winning team get? Me - This is the gold medal match, so they get the gold. SIL - So what does the loser get? Me - Umm, the silver.
I then had to explain how the Olympic medal system worked. She didn't know it was gold, silver, and bronze.
Post by youhadmycuriosity on Mar 27, 2015 11:59:01 GMT -5
Shortly after highschool, my friends and I were driving somewhere and a friend of a friend that tagged along asked us were we were. Someone said "Palatine" (this is a suburb in IL) and she looked genuinely puzzled "This is were all the Jewish people came from?"
This is the stupidest (and cruel) thing said to me: I have a co-worker who doesn't work in our office. He is an older guy (in his 60's--former lineman) and has absolutely ZERO filter.
He works on the Kenai Peninsula (outside of Anchorage). One day he picked me up at the Kenai airport to give me a ride to a union meeting we were both attending.
So I'm waiting outside the airport and he drives up. I open the passenger door to greet him, and he says "are you single"? I said "kind of...I'm a widow". He smirks and says "did you kill him? chuckle chuckle"
::record screetch:: DA FUCK? I stood there for a minute with my hands on my hips (still on the sidewalk) and told him I was this close to not getting into the damn truck with him, and that was the cruelest thing anyone has ever said to me.
He quickly apologized (but not very sincerely IMO) and said that I was a nice-looking woman and wondered why I was still single.
He is the most stupid person I've ever met.
That deserved a response of a quiet "Yes, I did" followed by this:
I'm the moron in this story. H and I were driving through the mountains on a camping trip and passed a "Peds Crossing" sign. I was sleep deprived, a tad hung over and we had passed several "Horses crossing", "Deer crossing", etc. I blurted out, "What in the hell are peds!". Still haven't lived that down.
A friend and I were a dinner. I was 21, friend was 22. She told us she couldn't serve my friend because he wasn't 21- since his birthday was the year before mine, he must be too young.
I went to college in Arkansas, and freshman year, when meeting new people, we would often say where we were from. I got tired of hearing people mangle Massachusetts, so I just started saying I was from New England.
One person responded, "New England? Cool! I've never even been out of the country."
He thought New England was a colony in the South Pacific. He also later told me Massachusetts isn't supposed to have an "s" at the end. We all just spell it wrong.
I was surprised when I went to college in CA how many people thought New England was a state. I even had a friend who thought there were 52 states.
Post by sandyapples on Mar 27, 2015 12:26:23 GMT -5
One evening in high school my friends and I were out for a walk and there was this red-orange glow in the sky. We were very concerned about the huge fire that must be burning in the next town.
This happened to my friend at work when her co-worker was trying to use a new computer program and called her to ask about it:
CW: I'm having trouble opening the new program Friend: Ok, just go to the desktop and if you right click... CW: Yes, I'm sitting at my desk. Friend: No, turn on your computer and you'll see it on the desktop. CW: I'm telling you, I'm sitting at my desk and I don't see anything. Friend: No, ON YOUR COMPUTER desktop CW: Yes, of course my computer is on my desk. Friend: I mean the desktop of your... You know what, never mind, I'll just come to your office and show you.
This is the stupidest (and cruel) thing said to me: I have a co-worker who doesn't work in our office. He is an older guy (in his 60's--former lineman) and has absolutely ZERO filter.
He works on the Kenai Peninsula (outside of Anchorage). One day he picked me up at the Kenai airport to give me a ride to a union meeting we were both attending.
So I'm waiting outside the airport and he drives up. I open the passenger door to greet him, and he says "are you single"? I said "kind of...I'm a widow". He smirks and says "did you kill him? chuckle chuckle"
::record screetch:: DA FUCK? I stood there for a minute with my hands on my hips (still on the sidewalk) and told him I was this close to not getting into the damn truck with him, and that was the cruelest thing anyone has ever said to me.
He quickly apologized (but not very sincerely IMO) and said that I was a nice-looking woman and wondered why I was still single.
One evening in high school my friends and I were out for a walk and there was this red-orange glow in the sky. We were very concerned about the huge fire that must be burning in the next town.
When I was 16 I was in a minor car accident with a friend (later turned arch nemesis, but that's beside the point). She was driving. Her name is Cathy.
When the cop arrived she didn't have her drivers license on her, which was fine in our small town, the cop knew she had a license he just had to take down her details.
The cop deduced that Cathy was short for Catherine, so he asked her how she spelled it. She turned to me and asked, "Rita, how do you spell Catherine?".
We. Were. Six. Teen.
I took a crack at how exactly her parents spelled Catherine, which she had not bothered to learn how to spell in her entire life.
Dumbest person I've ever met in my life. Biggest skank hoe bitch, too.
One evening in high school my friends and I were out for a walk and there was this red-orange glow in the sky. We were very concerned about the huge fire that must be burning in the next town.
It was the sunset.
uhhhh, we're you guys on drugs? Because..
I'm pretty sure we were sober. It was a much more vibrant sunset than we normally see around here but I don't know wtf we were thinking.
I went to college in Arkansas, and freshman year, when meeting new people, we would often say where we were from. I got tired of hearing people mangle Massachusetts, so I just started saying I was from New England.
One person responded, "New England? Cool! I've never even been out of the country."
He thought New England was a colony in the South Pacific. He also later told me Massachusetts isn't supposed to have an "s" at the end. We all just spell it wrong.
I was surprised when I went to college in CA how many people thought New England was a state. I even had a friend who thought there were 52 states.
In 8th grade we did a trip to the east coast (I'm from Washington state and we visited Virginia, DC & NY). We met a class of east coast 8th graders and we were hanging out at the hotel one night and we had to explain where WA state was and then we were asked if it was just like being in the Oregon Trail game...in ~1992...and they were serious!
I'm the moron in this story. H and I were driving through the mountains on a camping trip and passed a "Peds Crossing" sign. I was sleep deprived, a tad hung over and we had passed several "Horses crossing", "Deer crossing", etc. I blurted out, "What in the hell are peds!". Still haven't lived that down.
It took me an embarrassing amount of time to figure out what "Ped X-ing" meant. Like, I was probably in my late twenties...
This is a regular at the place I use to work, DH was the GM.
Customer- how do you and DH do it with him being a Red Sox fan and you a Yankees fans.
Me- I'm not a Yankees fans, I'm a Sox fan.
Customer- but your from New York.
Me- no, I'm from Rhode Island.
Customer- yeah, NY.
Me- um, RI is a stated as is NY. I am from RI.
This went on for a good 5 minutes with him not understanding that RI was a state and in fact not in NY. He was born in this country and is a school bus driver.
Post by morecowbell on Mar 27, 2015 13:58:37 GMT -5
In grade six, we had a student teacher in our classroom who was completing the practical portion of her degree. She was in charge of teaching us about the weather. She began her lesson by talking about temperature and how "it could be -5, but with the windshield it feels more like -10".
Wind.Chill. She argued with us when we told her she was wrong. We live on the Canadian prairie lady.
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
Post by mellimel19 on Mar 27, 2015 14:09:01 GMT -5
When H and I were first dating, we were talking about some of the places we had traveled to. When I mentioned visiting family in Prague, he said, "oh I didn't know you had family in the Middle East." ^o) I've never let him live it down.
Post by dawnzersong on Mar 27, 2015 14:16:44 GMT -5
I'm not a ML regular, but may I complain about my MIL here? She's racist and ignorant as hell, and her usual attitude is that if she's never heard of something before or just doesn't understand it, it's weird and wrong and absurd. One day I was talking to her and I mentioned my sister's husband, who is from the Dominican Republic. MIL said, "I don't even know what they call people from that country", to which I responded, "They're called Dominicans". She just stared at me for a second and then started giggling. I asked her what was so funny, and she said (in a very "teehee aren't you stupid" tone of voice), "You know Dominicans are monks, right?" I managed to refrain from rolling my eyes and tried to politely explain that the country was colonized by Christopher Columbus for Spain, so Catholicism was an important influence and yes, the country's name and the order of friars are both references to St. Dominic. Her mind was blown. She kept shaking her head in amazement with this "Well, I'll be darned!" look on her face. This is basically how it goes every time I have a conversation with her.