I'm a dirty lurker, so feel free to ignore. I am pregnant with twins, 32 weeks tomorrow. Last week I was admitted to the hospital for pre-term labor. It was stopped but I'm likely to deliver in the next couple of weeks. As a result I've been out of the office on bedrest since last week and we're probably looking at several weeks of NICU time. I've requested to do some working from home but my management has so far ignored my request. With 12 weeks of FMLA I'm looking at being back in the office mid-June when the babies would be adjusted age 2.5 weeks. This is freaking me out.
I'm just wondering if others had similar experiences and how it worked out for them? Any advice for making it work? My mom will be watching the babies at first so at least I won't have to make the daycare adjustment immediately. I know people have to go back to work leaving very small babies, I just have extra time to feel sorry for myself at the moment.
I think ijack went through something similar, and "chose" to quit her job.
I'm sorry. Talk to anyone at your work that doesn't seem like an unfeeling asshole and try to work something out, but the letter of the law won't be working in your favor.
When did you request? I'd be calling your boss and HR today and get that figured out pronto. Be an annoying bee in their bonnet. Leaving it undressed only hurts your time.
Thank you for the replies. I put the request in to my management on Monday and followed up on Tuesday. I'll try calling today as well. I had put in a (smaller) hour change request to accommodate the high risk pregnancy recommendations back in February and as far as I know that still hasn't been approved.
I asked about this when I was pregnant and apparently my office allows for additional "leave of absence" for bonding time in this instance. It's unpaid just like FMLA, but works on a case by case basis with your manager. Does your office have anything like that to follow up your FMLA leave with?
Ugh, I'm sorry. This happened to a friend of mine as well, also carrying twins. Her work told her she needed to come back at 3 weeks past her delivery date or she'd be fired. So she quit. I hope your company is more accomodating than hers was.
I went into labor with my twins at 33 weeks. I originally had planned to stop working at 36 weeks and have 13 weeks leave - my work was ok with me taking an extra week off since it was unpaid anyway. They were in the NICU 4 weeks so I actually took 16 weeks off total. They were fine with it and I trusted that I wouldn't be fired while on leave. I would talk to HR.
Ugh, I'm sorry. This happened to a friend of mine as well, also carrying twins. Her work told her she needed to come back at 3 weeks past her delivery date or she'd be fired. So she quit. I hope your company is more accomodating than hers was.
Damn. I would quit in a heartbeat if my work said that. No way I was leaving my babies early. They were 5.5 lbs when they came home and I was a hot mess.
While my girls were in the NICU I remember several moms with worse leave policies went back to work to save up their leave. It's not ideal at all but it sounds like a good option for you to try to spend as much quality time with you twins as possible. Good luck, work is the last thing you should be worrying about at the end of your pregnancy.
I'm so sorry. My company offers additional leave in situations like this but it is unpaid. I would get on the phone with HR ASAP and then follow up in writing.
The law is actually in your favor, somewhat, in that maternity leave policies have become much more employee friendly recently. However, true job protection is only for 12 weeks unless your state has another clause (WI and CA come to mind) that will extend it for a different reason.
Many companies will allow you to take additional leave of absence time off if your FMLA expires but your job will not technically be protected. In this case, I'd do some navel gazing and think about how valuable your position and you specifically are to the company. That may impact whether they want to make this exception for you. However, if you work for a large company they may not want to offer extended leave because if they do it for you they have to do it for everyone, kwim?
On the bright side of things, if you are eligible for short term disability you will be paid for longer than you would have for bonding time after you were released from being disabled (6-8 weeks) post delivery. If you stay on bed rest until your due date and then deliver you may still be able to be out on short term disability beyond your FMLA time and your job would be protected under temporary disability.
Disclaimer - not a lawyer, not legal advice, blah blah blah
Also, one of my friends who had extended NICU stay babies chose to work to save her FMLA time for when the baby was able to come home. That's also an option for you.
I do have a short-term disability policy so I would still get partial pay beyond my sick and annual leave. My understanding though is that the short-term disability doesn't protect my job. So basically I could be paid beyond the 12 weeks but they could let me go. I know they are pleased with my work and even approached me about going for a promotion but there is zero flexibility. They could just decide to cut their losses after the 12 weeks, which our budget can't handle.
I am completely open to working while the babies are in the NICU, the hospital is about five minutes away from my office anyway. First time mom question - will I physically be capable of going into the office within a couple weeks of delivery?
I would request an ADA accommodation to extend your job protected leave. Under the new ADAAA an extension of job protected leave can be requested as an accommodation.
I am completely open to working while the babies are in the NICU, the hospital is about five minutes away from my office anyway. First time mom question - will I physically be capable of going into the office within a couple weeks of delivery?
I can't speak for a c section but I felt fine after about a week. The NICU was more draining then anything and if you are pumping you will still need to wake up MOTN to pump, but that doesn't take long and becomes habit. There were many moms that worked during the day to save their leave time and then would come up in evenings/weekends to see their baby. I know at my NICU the nurses were amazing with communication and always said to call. A couple times I called at 3 am because I couldn't sleep and just wanted to know what they were doing. NICU nurses have a heart of gold.
And you'll know their exact feeding schedule. Everything is a 3 hour rotation so you could easily go over lunch break and see them and either feed or do skin to skin if you want since you are so close.
I am completely open to working while the babies are in the NICU, the hospital is about five minutes away from my office anyway. First time mom question - will I physically be capable of going into the office within a couple weeks of delivery?
Physically you probably will be able to, depending on what you do and as long as you don't have complications. I opted not to go back to work because my boss was understanding but also because emotionally I didn't think I'd be ready. I think it really is a case by case thing.
Also, one of my friends who had extended NICU stay babies chose to work to save her FMLA time for when the baby was able to come home. That's also an option for you.
Yeah I agree is there any way to not start on FMLA right now and wait at least until they are born? I would discuss that with HR asap. That would buy you a few weeks at least. Of course you couldn't do any work while on fmla I'm sorry this sound so stressful I hope you get a good plan of action soon.
Also, one of my friends who had extended NICU stay babies chose to work to save her FMLA time for when the baby was able to come home. That's also an option for you.
Yeah I agree is there any way to not start on FMLA right now and wait at least until they are born? I would discuss that with HR asap. That would buy you a few weeks at least. Of course you couldn't do any work while on fmla I'm sorry this sound so stressful I hope you get a good plan of action soon.
According to HR, my management can choose when FMLA starts. I'm "lucky" they didn't start the clock for my medical appointments before being hospitalized.
I'm sorry you're in this situation, but the health of your babies is truly the most important thing! Good luck, I hope you're able to stay pregnant several more weeks. I was hospitalized 2 nights at 32 weeks and told I could only work from home at that point. Thankfully my office agreed. I worked from home for 2 weeks until my babies were born at 34 weeks. Physically I could have worked while they were in the NICU. Emotionally I would have struggled a lot. But many women do it out of necessity. My kids were in the NICU about 2 weeks. My total leave time was 13 weeks, which was not adjusted due to NICU time. So I had 2 weeks of maternity leave while they were in the hospital and 11 weeks while they were home.
If my girls had been more premature I would have applied for my work's unpaid leave of absence program. IF that had been denied I was prepared to quit. You likely won't have much legal protection for a longer leave, but many reasonable employers will work with you if you communicate clearly with them. Good luck!
Post by momof2boys on Mar 27, 2015 11:20:01 GMT -5
I was on bedrest for two months and planned to go back to work when my son was 6 weeks. So technically I took an extra two weeks over FMLA but it was all unpaid so my employer was okay with it. Also, the first two weeks on bedrest I used up all my sick and vacation days so technically that doesn't count towards FMLA time. However, my son ended up having surgery the day before I was supposed to go back to work so I ended up taking another two weeks off. My manager did make a point to tell me she didn't HAVE to give me my job back, but she was kind of a jerk and just had to point that out to me. In reality, the owner of the business (my actual boss) would have taken me back at any point, and we both knew it. My mom also watched my son so I didn't have to worry about germ in daycare etc, and I went back part time and slowly increased my hours as time went on. My son was born a month early, but I didn't really consider his age as "adjusted" when I went back to work, but went with actual age (ie: he was two months when I went back, not one month adjusted).
Post by longtimenopost on Mar 27, 2015 11:42:17 GMT -5
((hugs)). I had an unexpected 26 weeker (via c/s) who was in the NICU for 12 weeks. I wanted to work part time while she was in the NICU (especially in the beginning, when we weren't allowed to even touch her but every 3 hours for diaper changes. BUT I couldn't because I did have STD which wouldn't pay me if I went back and we needed it because DH is a student/SAHD. I physically could have gone back about 2 weeks.
Ultimately, I used my FMLA during the 12 weeks she was in NICU. During that time, I had to "spend" my sick time but was allowed me to keep my vacation time. She came home at 38 weeks and I had three weeks of vacation to use before I went back. So, I went back when she was 1 week adjusted. It was tough, but my mom and DH were her caregivers and that made it a little easier.
I was on bed rest with DS1 for about a week and it counted against my FMLA time. I only took 8 weeks after he was born so a total of 9 weeks. DH took 7 weeks off covered under FMLA after I went back (we both used our own leave time to get paid). I felt fine physically going back and having DH take that time made the transition easier. DS1 was just barely preterm, 36 weeks.
Post by karinothing on Mar 27, 2015 12:16:22 GMT -5
I have a dumb question re: daycare. I know my daycares won't take babies till 6 weeks. So if you have preemies and have to go back at 1 week adjusted can can you send baby to daycare? i mean technically they are older than 6 weeks, but I assume the reason for the 6 week limit still applies (not old enough of vaccinations, not sure what other reasons).
At 2 weeks post c section I was in no position to be at work. I would push for an answer. Even if it's at no pay you need at least 8 weeks post c section to recover.
I have a dumb question re: daycare. I know my daycares won't take babies till 6 weeks. So if you have preemies and have to go back at 1 week adjusted can can you send baby to daycare? i mean technically they are older than 6 weeks, but I assume the reason for the 6 week limit still applies (not old enough of vaccinations, not sure what other reasons).
It's probably up to the doctor. My friend had a micropreemie and he wasn't allowed to be in group daycare until he was a year old.
I checked my daycare manual and it doesn't say anything about adjusted age but kids have to be 8 weeks old at ours.
I have a dumb question re: daycare. I know my daycares won't take babies till 6 weeks. So if you have preemies and have to go back at 1 week adjusted can can you send baby to daycare? i mean technically they are older than 6 weeks, but I assume the reason for the 6 week limit still applies (not old enough of vaccinations, not sure what other reasons).
I doubt daycare would say anything about it. As far as I know kids are vaxxed on their actual age not adjusted. (Though we did skip the hospital's HepB vax or whatever that one is because Squishy wasn't 5lbs yet and they said she should be before vax).
But I know a few people who had babies at 30w or earlier and their pediatricians said no group daycare for the first winter. So basically stay at home parent, family member, or nanny.
ETA: I want to add that it makes me sick that our country's solution to prematurity is that someone quits their job.
I'm sorry you are stressing. I went off work on modified bed rest around 29 w with my triplets and had them at 33w. I was on STD while on bed rest then maternity leave kicked in for 8 w. by then my 12 w for FMLA were up but my company allows you to take an additional 12 w for family bonding time which I took another 8w after ML was up. It worked out great and my company was very helpful and supportive.