I spent 6 weekson hospital bed rest and my daughter was born at 29w and spend 7 weeks in the NICU. She came home the same week that my FMLA worked out. I tried to work something out with my (larger, international) company but they wouldn't offer me unpaid leave, or any other flex options because they didn't want to set a "precedent." Luckily we were in a place that I was able to quit my job and stay home but I honestly don't know what we would have done if I didn't. Most day cares won't take babies that young. Unfortunately you're really at the mercy of your company. Good luck
No advice -just wanted to wish you luck. I'm sorry that you're in this predicament in the first place and I think it's terrible that you have to consider that you might have to choose between working or being with your brand new babies.
I have a dumb question re: daycare. I know my daycares won't take babies till 6 weeks. So if you have preemies and have to go back at 1 week adjusted can can you send baby to daycare? i mean technically they are older than 6 weeks, but I assume the reason for the 6 week limit still applies (not old enough of vaccinations, not sure what other reasons).
And just a higher risk of infection. It's often not recommended to send a preemie to daycare for 6 mo to 1 year but that's on a case by. Case basis and depends on the gestational age of your child and his or her medical needs ( or lack thereof)
So sorry you have to be concerned with this. One thing I'd add. If they let you go after 12 weeks, don't quit. At minimum see if you qualify for unemployment.
I have a dumb question re: daycare. I know my daycares won't take babies till 6 weeks. So if you have preemies and have to go back at 1 week adjusted can can you send baby to daycare? i mean technically they are older than 6 weeks, but I assume the reason for the 6 week limit still applies (not old enough of vaccinations, not sure what other reasons).
And just a higher risk of infection. It's often not recommended to send a preemie to daycare for 6 mo to 1 year but that's on a case by. Case basis and depends on the gestational age of your child and his or her medical needs ( or lack thereof)
So sorry you have to be concerned with this. One thing I'd add. If they let you go after 12 weeks, don't quit. At minimum see if you qualify for unemployment.
I was told that some daycares won't take babies under 5lbs, but I have no clue if that's really true.
Oh another thing I wanted to mention. I know moms who had their docs clear them for work ASAP so they could save the rest of their leave for when the babies came home.
Yeah I agree is there any way to not start on FMLA right now and wait at least until they are born? I would discuss that with HR asap. That would buy you a few weeks at least. Of course you couldn't do any work while on fmla I'm sorry this sound so stressful I hope you get a good plan of action soon.
According to HR, my management can choose when FMLA starts. I'm "lucky" they didn't start the clock for my medical appointments before being hospitalized.
This is not true, you have to request to be placed on fmla. What state are you in? Ca has additional pregnancy disability protection (6-8 weeks added on top of the fmla)
Chiming in. I had my twins at 29 weeks after 3 weeks of bedrest. They were in the NICU for 6 weeks, so I had a whopping 3 weeks at home with them before I had to go back to work. I couldn't afford to quit my job and actually had to go back to work before my official due date! We hired my cousin as an in-home nanny the first year and a half. It was not ideal and I was a mess for awhile, but we were fortunate that we didn't have to send them to daycare until they were 18 months. My cousin did an amazing job with the girls too.
I totally relate. I hope you are able to figure out something that works for you. Good luck!
According to HR, my management can choose when FMLA starts. I'm "lucky" they didn't start the clock for my medical appointments before being hospitalized.
This is not true, you have to request to be placed on fmla. What state are you in? Ca has additional pregnancy disability protection (6-8 weeks added on top of the fmla)
Nope. It's true you have to request to be placed on FMLA. However, the form has a space for your doctor to write in the date the "condition" commenced (mine was the date of my LMP) and a space for them to write all of the dates you were treated for the condition (mine wrote all of my appointments to that point.) Employers have every right to go back and use any of those "treatments" against your FMLA. Not all employers will do that but mine did. I'm sorry that you're having to deal with this OP.
Thanks for all of the replies. My state/employer do not offer anything beyond the 12 weeks of FMLA. Management made a comment about the "modern" thing to do is to have the baby and come back immediately, so there isn't a whole lot of sympathy going on. All my attempts to get an answer to my request to work from home have been ignored.
My mother will be watching them for the first eight months or so, so at least we don't have to worry about daycare immediately. My mother is excited. I'm still freaking out that I won't be there for brand new babies.
Thanks for all of the replies. My state/employer do not offer anything beyond the 12 weeks of FMLA. Management made a comment about the "modern" thing to do is to have the baby and come back immediately, so there isn't a whole lot of sympathy going on. All my attempts to get an answer to my request to work from home have been ignored.
I feel like with that "modern thing" comment they are only a few steps away from a discrimination lawsuit. Screw them. I'm sorry you're in this position.
This happened to me...I was forced to use up all of my FMLA for bedrest (preterm labor, cervical incompetence, hospital statys) and I was a nurse. I lost my position in the speciality unit I was in and was sent to another floor that needed a nurse, I didn't want to. My son was only 4 weeks too when I had to return.
I had no choice if I wanted to keep my senority at that hospital.
FMLA doesn't protect you if you need more than the 12 weeks, it's a shame.
I was told that some daycares won't take babies under 5lbs, but I have no clue if that's really true.
Even if it is true, it would be pretty rare for a baby to be home and less than 5lbs for more than a week or two. Many NICUs won't let a baby try an open crib to prove they can maintain body temperature (a standard discharge criteria) until 4lbs (ours would do it at 1800 grams), so they usually won't go home until a few ounces over. At that point they should be gaining around an ounce a day. Anyways - pointless conversation because the thought of being forced to put a newly discharged baby in daycare and return to work FT is heartbreaking.
devon, I'm sorry you're dealing with such shitty management. Keep reaching out to get a real answer. Things WILL work out.
Thanks for all of the replies. My state/employer do not offer anything beyond the 12 weeks of FMLA. Management made a comment about the "modern" thing to do is to have the baby and come back immediately, so there isn't a whole lot of sympathy going on. All my attempts to get an answer to my request to work from home have been ignored.
My mother will be watching them for the first eight months or so, so at least we don't have to worry about daycare immediately. My mother is excited. I'm still freaking out that I won't be there for brand new babies.
WTF? The modern thing to do is to take maternity leave that is given by an awesome progressive employer. Women headed straight back to work back in the day before we had labor laws and employee rights.
I'm sorry. That's awful. I would hang in as long as you can through this, and start looking for a new job as soon as you are able. There is no chance I could respect management or want to contribute to a company that treated me this way.
I had DS at 32 weeks but was out for a good 8 weeks prior to that on bedrest. I still took my entire maternity leave.
HR contacted me but I had already okayed it with my boss and it wasn't a problem. DS was in the NICU for 2 months after he was born and I was not going back to work while my kid was in the hospital! I was super worried though as I'm the one who holds the benefits and we couldn't afford for me to lose them, especially with $1 million + bills going on!
I have a dumb question re: daycare. I know my daycares won't take babies till 6 weeks. So if you have preemies and have to go back at 1 week adjusted can can you send baby to daycare? i mean technically they are older than 6 weeks, but I assume the reason for the 6 week limit still applies (not old enough of vaccinations, not sure what other reasons).
And just a higher risk of infection. It's often not recommended to send a preemie to daycare for 6 mo to 1 year but that's on a case by. Case basis and depends on the gestational age of your child and his or her medical needs ( or lack thereof)
So sorry you have to be concerned with this. One thing I'd add. If they let you go after 12 weeks, don't quit. At minimum see if you qualify for unemployment.
My kid was born at 2 pounds and I still sent him to daycare at 3.5 months. The peds weren't thrilled by this, but other than a bout of RSV (that wasn't fun) I don't think he was any more sick than any full-term infant!
This happens often at my company. They allow the mom to take disability leave (often not fully paid) for the time she is on bedrest, and then the 12 weeks FMLA kicks in once she has given birth.
Yeah I agree is there any way to not start on FMLA right now and wait at least until they are born? I would discuss that with HR asap. That would buy you a few weeks at least. Of course you couldn't do any work while on fmla I'm sorry this sound so stressful I hope you get a good plan of action soon.
According to HR, my management can choose when FMLA starts. I'm "lucky" they didn't start the clock for my medical appointments before being hospitalized.
Unless this is different from state to state, this is not true. You have the option to break up your FMLA leave in whatever way you choose. You should be able to take two weeks, go back to work, then take the next 10, or however you prefer to do it. Once you're approved through your company for FMLA-specific leave, they should be beholden to that. I'm about 99% sure that's what my paperwork says, anyway.
I just wanted to say good luck! I also had PTL with my twins and ended up on bedrest starting at 27 weeks. I made it to 37.5 weeks with some hospital visits/stays in that time. It wasn't easy, but it was a job only I could do. I went back to work part-time when they were 10 weeks old. I was no longer covered under FMLA but it seemed like I was more concerned about it than my boss. He had expected me to take the full 12 weeks, but I was ready to go back. I hope you're able to keep those babies cooking as long as possible and they have minimal, if any NICU time. And I hope your company changed their tune and supports you.