mags I hope you guys get good news. What an excruciating wait.
bullygirl979 I'm not side-eyeing you, just concerned and glad that the talks you two have had are productive. I'm also really glad you're doing a pre-pre-nup.
gault it sounds like you have some positive things going now. I hope they help (I imagine they will).
My confession: I slept with the Dr when he was here Monday night. Wasn't planning to, we were up talking until 3am, I told him he could stay, then as soon as we both got in bed he started kissing me. I'm a little upset with myself because it's a terrible idea to sleep with someone is such a bad emotional place.
Post by bullygirl979 on Mar 27, 2015 19:54:37 GMT -5
Thank you, everyone, for being honest with me regarding where you are coming from. I was feeling pretty bad about things so I am glad that I posted about it. Good talk, good talk.
tiramisu, he is in a bad place? Sorry, I don't know the backstory on the dr.
He's going through a bunch of personal growth, admits he's not in a good place, and doesn't want to hurt me. And then he tells me what his deep-rooted issues stem from. I think he's drawn to be because I'm a fixer and because I get him. I think I'm drawn to him because I can intuitively tell what he "needs." For the most part we keep our distance because a relationship would be a disaster. I know that he has to heal on his own and that if there's meant to be something, there will be when he's healthy.
Also, I've realized that I'm the kind of woman now who is not a "she inspires me to become a better man " type, but more of an "I need to already be my best self to 'earn' her" type. Because I think these guys see me more as marriage material. It's been interesting.
I think you know where I stand as well. I just want you to not lose sight of his actions rather than relying on his words because well the actions are the "proof is in the pudding" or however that saying goes.
My confession is not terrible, but that I'm starting to focus on myself so much that I really am enjoying life so much right now. I didn't think this time would come where I would finally let go of wanting a man to be here to fix me or tell me what to do. I am starting to feel happy and content with who I am and realize that my life is what I make it and I always have the choice to change it. As cheesy as that all sounds, it's been a long road to even arrive at this place so I'm jumping all in and just enjoying it as much as I can.
I think you know where I stand as well. I just want you to not lose sight of his actions rather than relying on his words because well the actions are the "proof is in the pudding" or however that saying goes.
Oh, that was my whole issue as well. You say you want to move forward, you need to act like it too. Saying it isn't enough. I wouldn't have agreed to put my house up for sale if he wasn't acting the part. Once he started taking action is when I knew he was serious. Saying stuff is easy; action is hard. I learned that with my XH.
tiramisu, he is in a bad place? Sorry, I don't know the backstory on the dr.
He's going through a bunch of personal growth, admits he's not in a good place, and doesn't want to hurt me. And then he tells me what his deep-rooted issues stem from. I think he's drawn to be because I'm a fixer and because I get him. I think I'm drawn to him because I can intuitively tell what he "needs." For the most part we keep our distance because a relationship would be a disaster. I know that he has to heal on his own and that if there's meant to be something, there will be when he's healthy.
Also, I've realized that I'm the kind of woman now who is not a "she inspires me to become a better man " type, but more of an "I need to already be my best self to 'earn' her" type. Because I think these guys see me more as marriage material. It's been interesting.
It sounds like you are both aware of the situation and where the potential pit falls lie. Just continue to be mindful and honest with yourself and him.
bullygirl979 thank you, I will. I think the complete honesty on Monday night, on both our sides, left me feeling vulnerable and I think a good amount of my Tuesday sadness was for him and the place he's in right now. Some of it definitely was that I connected with someone who is so not right to be in a relationship with. I'm not waiting on anything, I'm moving forward (see: the hot 28 year old).
My confession is not terrible, but that I'm starting to focus on myself so much that I really am enjoying life so much right now. I didn't think this time would come where I would finally let go of wanting a man to be here to fix me or tell me what to do. I am starting to feel happy and content with who I am and realize that my life is what I make it and I always have the choice to change it. As cheesy as that all sounds, it's been a long road to even arrive at this place so I'm jumping all in and just enjoying it as much as I can.
This is awesome and makes me so happy and excited for you!
My confession is not terrible, but that I'm starting to focus on myself so much that I really am enjoying life so much right now. I didn't think this time would come where I would finally let go of wanting a man to be here to fix me or tell me what to do. I am starting to feel happy and content with who I am and realize that my life is what I make it and I always have the choice to change it. As cheesy as that all sounds, it's been a long road to even arrive at this place so I'm jumping all in and just enjoying it as much as I can.
This is awesome and makes me so happy and excited for you!
Me toooooo I have been waiting so long to get here! So many tear filled nights.
We put in an offer on the house. It was rejected. I do not want to be the most expensive house in that row of town homes so we are walking away.
I feel like i'm divided in thirds, relieved we aren't spending the money it was a lot, happy to continue the original plan (pay of all remaining debt and save money), sad that I don't know what it means for the future. I get really sad when I think about leaving my neighborhood and the community H and I have built here.
This house hunting business is the hardest thing that H and I have ever done together. I hate it.
I just re read this and with all that's going on it made me think ugh what a not real issue. It's just every real issue h and I have we come together on it and this issue we are divided and we need to sort out a resolution that makes us both happy. I don't like this rift.
My confession is not terrible, but that I'm starting to focus on myself so much that I really am enjoying life so much right now. I didn't think this time would come where I would finally let go of wanting a man to be here to fix me or tell me what to do. I am starting to feel happy and content with who I am and realize that my life is what I make it and I always have the choice to change it. As cheesy as that all sounds, it's been a long road to even arrive at this place so I'm jumping all in and just enjoying it as much as I can.