I'm Embarrassed (Baby Weight Issues)

[namasteak]

I had a perfectly healthy pregnancy (no GD) despite gaining 60 pounds and delivered a perfectly healthy 11lb baby at home. I am also small and had no issues (only a first degree tear). If you and baby are otherwise healthy I wouldn't let your doctor bully you into a csection. Even small women can deliver large babies in the correct position since some (like squatting) open up your pelvis more.

eta - excluding prodromal labor I was in active labor for 12 hours and only pushed for 2 (average for a first time mom). 

[namasteak]

Mar 27, 2015 14:17:43 GMT -5 yourmother said:

Mar 27, 2015 14:00:47 GMT -5 lillaguma said:

Do not feel guilty at all.

Like imimahoney said, they can be very wrong. I have had to have growth ultrasounds every month for a different issue, and they've always told me that it is so hard to even guess at the weight so they don't even try. (They are measuring other things in my little girl's case - certain bones and things.) The margin of error is huge.

He's healthy and that is the important thing right now. I think it is great if you try to eat mindfully, but don't punish yourself or add extra stress to yourself in that way. At this point you can just start thinking of what things to eat that will be best for your baby and try to keep it positive that way, rather than thinking about what you shouldn't be eating.

Has the doctor mentioned your weight gain up until this point? I would imagine you are still in an okay place. Different women/babies follow different growth patterns during pregnancy too - your baby might be big now but then might slow down in his weight gain, you might have just had a bigger jump in the end of second tri, etc etc.

I have been in denial about my weight. I have no idea how much I've gained because I tell the nurse at my OBGYN office to not tell me.  My OB hasn't mentioned my weight gain to me at all and I've taken that as a sign that I'm doing ok.  She even made a comment a few weeks ago at "how cute" I looked.  In my twisted way of thinking, I took that as a good sign that I could continue eating my little heart out.  

I swear, I don't eat crazily while not pregnant.  I've been on WW for years and managed my fast-food addiction pretty well.  But, if I'm being honest, I've allowed my cravings to take over.  Also, I've never had a sweet tooth and this pregnancy has REALLY changed that.  I can't (okay, I CAN...but have chose not to) go a day w/o sweets.  I'm changing this STAT!

Maybe just reduce the amount of sweets you are eating versus frequency. Honestly, if you are healthy I wouldn't worry about it. Some people just gain more weight than others when they are pregnant. 

[cheeseandcrackers]

I just wanted you to know that you're not the only one.. I gained a lot more weight than I should have.. so far I had only one doctor out of six snark at me. I guess a lot of times they won't nag if there aren't any other issues, which it sounds like you odn't have.

[aliciar6]

As PP's have said, do not beat yourself up for this. Beyond the equipment not being the most accurate, one of the things I have heard many times from a lot of the women at my Perinatoligist's office is that the weight gain of the mother does not necessarily refelct the weight gain of the baby.

My mom gained a lot of weight with me, but I was 6 lb 2 oz. I have gained about 24 lbs and at 35 weeks they told me she was too small, weighing in at 4lb 7 oz and measuring in the 2nd percentile in some measurements and 5th for other things. Within 2 weeks she had a big jump in weight (almost 1.5 lbs) where they were no longer worried about her. I felt like it was my fault even though for my size, I am right on track for what I should gain. But in my family babies are routinely small.

My friend who just had her baby boy (10 days early) gained more than I did and had an easy delivery of an 8lb 5 oz baby boy...at one point in time her nurse gave her a talking to about her weight...she ate healthy, she didn't do anything wrong...but her and her H were both very a large babies (9+ lbs)

At least with me, it seems mine has growth spurts and then periods of taking a break. Maybe yours just had a growth spurt, but I would say it's better he's healthy and gaining than not. Sure it never hurts to add in more lean meats, fruits and veggies...but sometimes you just need that chocolate shake and potato chips and bagel(s). You are most definately not a bad mother. Your body does what it needs to do, it may be that you could eat super super healthy and you'd still gain or worse your baby wouldn't get the calories he needed. Hang in there, you are doing great!

[sparkythelawyer]

Mar 27, 2015 13:42:22 GMT -5 yourmother said:

Not sure what I'm looking for here.  Please don't kick me while I'm down.  I swear I will improve my situation.

I had a doctor's appointment today with Baby's specialist and the good news is that he is (finally) head down!
 He has hair on the back of his head and he yawned and opened his eyes during the sono. He's SO CUTE! 

Not so great news...



Baby's weight gain has been consistently increasing (and not in a good way). Doc says that while he is healthy, his belly and head are VERY big and she made it a point to say that he is NOT the size of a 31 week baby. He's 4lb 8oz. Good news is that is body is proportionate, so nothing to worry about just yet.
 He's healthy and everything looks great.  Her concerns were that because I'm petite, he may be a 9+ lb baby at his current growth pattern and that I may have to deliver C-section.
She said this is either due to genetics (just found out my mom was an 8+ lb baby) or due to calories. No real way of knowing what the cause is, but doc kinda lectured me on modifying my diet (cut some carbs + cut sweets + eat leaner meats/veggies/fruits, etc.) and adding exercise to my daily routine (walking).



I'm just so embarrassed that I let myself go this much.  My appetite has been out of control and I have been indulging in all of my cravings.  I've literally let myself go.  I've also been in denial and have no idea how much weight I've gained.  I have two more months to go and am changing my eating habits IMMEDIATELY and will push myself to go to the gym more often for walking and swim aerobics.

I feel like I'm off to a bad start at being a good mother.  

Uh, she's full of complete crap. My 32 week growth ultrasound had me measuring exactly where you are at.

Now, the MFM doc did warn me that she was measuring "a little on the big side," and she was not kidding as my little chunkles was 9 pounds, 8 ounces.  But I had a vaginal delivery and pushed for only 15 minutes.  Your doc is unnecessarily alarmist.

And she can STFU with this "you're too fat so your baby is too fat" BS.  Eat what you want. You can deal with weight loss later.  I gained 40 pounds while pregnant (and I was no skinny mini before hand) and it came off easy enough.

Do NOT beat yourself up right now, nor should you let anyone else beat you up either.  Take care of yourself.  Go for some long walks, because they'll relieve your stress, not so that you can somehow make you rbaby smaller.

You are doing JUST FINE being a mom to your little one.  Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

[yourmother]

Mar 30, 2015 14:45:28 GMT -5 sparkythelawyer said:

Mar 27, 2015 13:42:22 GMT -5 yourmother said:

Not sure what I'm looking for here.  Please don't kick me while I'm down.  I swear I will improve my situation.

I had a doctor's appointment today with Baby's specialist and the good news is that he is (finally) head down!
 He has hair on the back of his head and he yawned and opened his eyes during the sono. He's SO CUTE! 

Not so great news...



Baby's weight gain has been consistently increasing (and not in a good way). Doc says that while he is healthy, his belly and head are VERY big and she made it a point to say that he is NOT the size of a 31 week baby. He's 4lb 8oz. Good news is that is body is proportionate, so nothing to worry about just yet.
 He's healthy and everything looks great.  Her concerns were that because I'm petite, he may be a 9+ lb baby at his current growth pattern and that I may have to deliver C-section.
She said this is either due to genetics (just found out my mom was an 8+ lb baby) or due to calories. No real way of knowing what the cause is, but doc kinda lectured me on modifying my diet (cut some carbs + cut sweets + eat leaner meats/veggies/fruits, etc.) and adding exercise to my daily routine (walking).



I'm just so embarrassed that I let myself go this much.  My appetite has been out of control and I have been indulging in all of my cravings.  I've literally let myself go.  I've also been in denial and have no idea how much weight I've gained.  I have two more months to go and am changing my eating habits IMMEDIATELY and will push myself to go to the gym more often for walking and swim aerobics.

I feel like I'm off to a bad start at being a good mother.  

Uh, she's full of complete crap. My 32 week growth ultrasound had me measuring exactly where you are at.

Now, the MFM doc did warn me that she was measuring "a little on the big side," and she was not kidding as my little chunkles was 9 pounds, 8 ounces.  But I had a vaginal delivery and pushed for only 15 minutes.  Your doc is unnecessarily alarmist.

And she can STFU with this "you're too fat so your baby is too fat" BS.  Eat what you want. You can deal with weight loss later.  I gained 40 pounds while pregnant (and I was no skinny mini before hand) and it came off easy enough.

Do NOT beat yourself up right now, nor should you let anyone else beat you up either.  Take care of yourself.  Go for some long walks, because they'll relieve your stress, not so that you can somehow make you rbaby smaller.

You are doing JUST FINE being a mom to your little one.  Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Thank you!!! I just met with my OB and she wasn't concerned at all. She said we will continue to monitor and reevaluate when we get closer. At this time, we are still on track for a vaginal delivery.

[geek96]

Mar 28, 2015 21:52:48 GMT -5 yourmother said:

Mar 28, 2015 9:06:33 GMT -5 geek96 said:

I'm a lurker here but went through this. I gained 38 lbs so not an enormous amount but was bullied the whole time to have a c-section. DH and I were both over 9 lbs and delivered via c-section. I kept refusing and they wouldn't let me go past my due date or schedule induction past due date.

The date after my due date they called with my c-section date but I woke up already in labor. I was able to deliver vaginally. It took over 3 hours of pushing and being cut 4 times but I did it. DS was 9 lbs with a head in the 99th percentile.

I am at a new practice that is much more supportive this pregnancy. DD measured 12 oz at my anatomy scan which is on the larger side already. They just said they'd monitor me but 9 lbs should be no issue this time.

My point is that you shouldn't let them bully you or make you feel bad about your baby's size. I cried so much last time but am so much happier with my new practice and wish I had done this sooner.

This is helpful! I was getting used to the idea of a potential CSection. What was your recovery like with being cut 4 times? Ouch!

Sorry just saw this.  It was really rough for me but I have nothing to compare it too.  Everyone says c-section recoveries are much harder.  Even after begging for a c-section 25 hours into labor the OB that ultimately cut me said I didn't want to deal with that pain and and that I'd be just fine.  It took about 3 weeks before I could sit without writhing in pain and 1 week of DH helping lift me off the bed and couch.  I started feeling like my normal self around 10-11 months pp and was pregnant again 14 months pp.  

[yourmother]

Mar 30, 2015 18:46:38 GMT -5 geek96 said:

Mar 28, 2015 21:52:48 GMT -5 yourmother said:

This is helpful! I was getting used to the idea of a potential CSection. What was your recovery like with being cut 4 times? Ouch!

Sorry just saw this.  It was really rough for me but I have nothing to compare it too.  Everyone says c-section recoveries are much harder.  Even after begging for a c-section 25 hours into labor the OB that ultimately cut me said I didn't want to deal with that pain and and that I'd be just fine.  It took about 3 weeks before I could sit without writhing in pain and 1 week of DH helping lift me off the bed and couch.  I started feeling like my normal self around 10-11 months pp and was pregnant again 14 months pp.  

Wow! Thanks for sharing. Considering your experience, do you wish you would have had the CSection?

[jsillyfun]

Great responses from others and remember even if the baby is big that doesn't mean you need a c section. I have a relatively petite friend who had an 11 pound baby naturally with no drugs and no complications.

[geek96]

Mar 30, 2015 20:05:03 GMT -5 yourmother said:

Mar 30, 2015 18:46:38 GMT -5 geek96 said:

Sorry just saw this.  It was really rough for me but I have nothing to compare it too.  Everyone says c-section recoveries are much harder.  Even after begging for a c-section 25 hours into labor the OB that ultimately cut me said I didn't want to deal with that pain and and that I'd be just fine.  It took about 3 weeks before I could sit without writhing in pain and 1 week of DH helping lift me off the bed and couch.  I started feeling like my normal self around 10-11 months pp and was pregnant again 14 months pp.  

Wow! Thanks for sharing. Considering your experience, do you wish you would have had the CSection?

No and I am hoping to have another vaginal delivery this time.  My OB told me the second time is usually much faster.  They said they wouldn't even suggest c-section this time unless they suspect baby is over 10 lbs. because my body has proven that it can pass a large baby.  Even then it is just a discussion.