How did you first serious relationship end?

[glitzy07]

Brought to you by a lunchroom conversation today.

Tell me how your first serious relationship ended.  Were you the dumper or dumpee?  Details?

[glitzy07]

I was a freshman in college and my boyfriend (a junior) of two years decided to break up with me because he "wanted to be single for his last year of college."

We tried to stay friends, but I was devastated by the whole situation at the time and obviously trying to get him back. He used it to his advantage and kept me at arm's length. As soon as I started dating someone new, my now H, he decided to tell me that he wanted me back and that he really just wanted to have me to date some more so that he wasn't my only boyfriend. But apparently "date someone else" meant go on one date and make out with someone. Um...what?

Needless to say, the friendship ended after that.

[ilikedonuts]

I married my first serious relationship.

(I "hung" out with a couple guys in high school, but they were definitely just 'fun')

ETA: added a word

[Deleted]

So far it hasn't.

[rbp]

God told him to break up with me.

[dancingirl21]

I was dumped. High school sweethearts and we dated for 2 years. He was a few years older than me and we went to different schools. He was in college and I was a junior when he dumped me, saying that he wanted to live the college life and not have a high school girlfriend. He stayed in the area for college, though, so we ended up being around each other a lot over the next several years until I up and left for Chicago. I met DH and never looked back. Ex told me a few days before his wedding that he always wondered what could have happened with us.

[bluelikejazz]

Sort of mutual. He wanted to have sex, I didn't, so we broke up (and he preceded to get the girl across the hall pregnant). We were freshman in college.

[Deleted]

I was dumped. :/.

It came to an end when the college school year ended (sophomore year). He went home to his house a state away. I went home to mine. He sort of ignored me and the conversations we did have was just all around awkward. He had a friend getting married 3 weekends after school ended and I was supposed to go there and attend with him. He called and he said he wanted to go alone and have a fun summer no strings attached.

We met up again in the fall when school resumed. Had a bit of a fling for about a week. Still remained cordial/somewhat friends when out and about. Ended up in a bad car accident over winter break.He asked for me, so his mom asked me to come. I went to see him. More weirdness.

He graduated that year and that was the end.

Until I graduated from college 2 years later and moved into an apt. building next to some of his old friends. He called and said he was coming to visit and we hooked up again. Got drunk and admitted a bunch of stupid sh*t about dumping me/sort of made a mistake/not really/let's keep hooking up. It was weird. But he was drunk. I was drunk...so who knows. I was also done with it because I had met H the week prior and we had a good thing started.

He's now an insurance salesman and riding the coattails of his dad's successful business. Dabbled in real estate a bit. Still not married. Nice enough guy, just not super driven for lack of a better term.

[humpforfree]

I broke up with him after like 3 years. We were basically engaged and I just... felt like it wasn't right anymore. I had a really weird year and went through a ton of changes at that time, that looking back were all for much better, but felt like crap and were depressing at the time.

[Deleted]

Mar 27, 2015 20:30:45 GMT -5 rbp said:

God told him to break up with me.

God is such a meddling bastard

[countthestars]

I dumped him. Well, he said that he thought maybe we should take a break "at some point" and I was all eff no, do it now if you don't think this will last. I was a heartbroken mess for about a week and then I got over him. He begged me to get back with him for over a year after that - I was already dating h and the rest is history.

[cjeanette]

He cheated on me. Then spent the next two years trying to get me back. Such a waste of my time and his.

[meltoine]

It was pretty mutual, actually. We had been on-and-off for years. After an off period, we started talking on the phone again every night for hours. We were living in different cities at the time, though I already had plans to visit another friend in his city a few weeks later. The week of my trip, my other friend canceled because she had some work stuff come up that was going to keep her busy all weekend. I told him and he said to come anyway, that he'd love to have me stay with him.

So I went, we had a great time the first two days. But the more time I spent with him, met his friends there, and saw his lifestyle, I knew it wasn't what I wanted. I wanted to get married in the next couple of years and I wanted kids, and he was just not there. He was still getting drunk every weekend and smoking weed, didn't have a career job or really any timeline in which to move towards one. I wanted to move faster than he was prepared to.

For his part, he didn't want to settle down and he was uncomfortable with my religious devotion (we were both raised Catholic, but I am devout and practicing and he is not religious in any way).

By the end of the weekend we agreed that we like each other as people, but we were just not compatible enough to build a life together. We are still friends. I met H a couple months later. He attended our wedding and I attended his wedding some years later. His wife is lovely and much better suited to him, as H is to me.

[Deleted]

I was dumped so he could spend more time with his frat.

Oddly, we're good friends now. Both married, and had our first kids within 3 days of each other.

[spk926]

It didn't, we married each other.  That was 13 years ago. 

[glinda]

He broke up with me. He transferred colleges to one that was religious centered and pretty far away, we tried long distance but it didn't work for him.

It wouldn't have worked regardless, looking back on it, his dad was a dick and our religious differences were too great. But at the time I thought I would never recover...lol.

[ladygrey]

He left for college (I was a sophomore in HS) and a few weeks later he called and broke up with me because he "didn't want to be tied down with a girlfriend at home." I played a lot of Deana Carter's "Strawberry Wine" on my car stereo for the next few months (don't judge, it was 1997).

[cece]

My first real relationship was a 6 year disaster. About 2 years in the shit started. I graduated from college and moved back home about an hour away. My BF at the time still lived in the college town. One Friday night he was supposed to come visit but called and said he was going to stay and study as midterms were coming up. He insisted I go out with my friends. Well, I called his house around 11pm and was told he had gone to the store. WTF? I knew then. But the next AM I got up early and drove to his house. Walked right in and found a girl in his room helping him with his belt. Fucking 4 more years I stuck around for his BS. Gah, so stupid. That fucker called me 5 years later, right after I got married and left a long message about how he was sorry. Nope.
I learned so much from that.

[hermione]

I broke up with him. He's now our electrician.

[DarcyLongfellow]

Junior year of college I studied abroad in the fall, and then broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years pretty soon after getting home. It was long overdue, and being away had given me some perspective.

When I told my mom -- who never says anything negative and is always super supportive of me (almost to a fault) -- that I was planning to break up with him, she said "I think that might not be a bad thing." Which in Mom Longfellow speak means, "oh my gosh, it's about time -- thank goodness."

[scribellesam]

Another vote for "married him."

[caramia17]

We were LDR while we were both in graduate school. He cheated on me with an undergrad at his med school institution and broke up with me. Wanted to "stay friends". Um, no.

An so began my free-wheeling early 20s.

I defnitely kissed my share of frogs, but--damn--I had fun.

[Deleted]

And for a more "fun" story. In between all the above blah blah blah drama my grandma hooked me up with the delivery man at her store.

We dated an entire summer until one day he called from a new cell phone number he said he was sharing with a "friend." It was a girl I had never heard of/been introduced to.

Warning flags went up for me. Turns out it was his new girlfriend and they decided after a week of dating to get a cell plan together.

They are now married at least...lol.

[cricketwife]

Mar 27, 2015 20:30:45 GMT -5 rbp said:

God told him to break up with me.

God told him he was going to marry another girl. We were 16. 

[ryry]

We kind of mutually decided to end things, but I don't think either of us planned it. My mom had passed away that year, and I think he was emotionally not ready for more, and I was (or thought I was, but likely it was me hanging on to something comforting and familiar after losing my mom ). We continued to hang out for a couple of years, and we would often end up sleeping together...whoops.
I still think of him often. I was a wreck after we broke up for a long time (again, probably exacerbated by my mom's passing). We have mutual friends so I've seen him a few times and I'm still a little sad to lose his friendship (we were best friends before dating).

[Deleted]

@justdairy I have a sort of similar story. When I was in college, I dated this guy in my major. One day he told me that he was going to take this girl out to the movies, because it had been two years or something since she had been on a date, and they were going to "go on a date" as friends, and was I okay with that?

I said sure and thought nothing of it, and it was completely surprised when a month later he told me that he was breaking up with me. Within days I heard through the grapevine in our major that he was dating his "fake date."

I know for a fact that he was cheating on me with her for that entire month. But at least they are married now.

Also he had a very small penis.

[lulu21]

I was the dumper. He was my hs boyfriend. He was super attached and pretty much didn't want to admit it was over. He even drove 12 to NC when I drunk dialed him when I was in college, months after we broke up.

[gibbinator]

It hasn't. I married him

[cjeanette]

Mar 27, 2015 20:43:12 GMT -5 cricketwife said:

Mar 27, 2015 20:30:45 GMT -5 rbp said:

God told him to break up with me.

God told him he was going to marry another girl. We were 16. 

Consider that bullet dodged

[Deleted]

Oh man, it's complicated. We dated/ fooled around I college. I never called him my boyfriend, though he played a huge role in my life between 20 and 25 years old. He deployed in the navy, I went to grad school. He came to visit me for a week in grad school and I realized this wasn't what I wanted. I moved home (to the town we went to college in), he came home for New Years. We had a boozy lunch and I went back to work. Instead of meeting up with him that night, I hung out with a guy I worked with. Work guy and I kissed that might and got married 2.5 years later :-)

College boyfriend and I spoke on the phone a few times after that. He stated dating someone else that spring too. He died in a skiing accident 4 years later. We never saw each other again.

So, there was no formal breakup. But it ended as unfonished business.