I've given up. I hereby give Viv anything she wants from here until forever if she will just go the fuck to sleep. She wins.
I seriously can't handle it anymore guys, I'm losing my mind. It's not just at night, where she's gone from sttn 10-12 hours, to waking up once or twice, to 3-4x, now she's crying as soon as I stop nursing, or as soon as I put her down in her pnp. She wakes up every 20 minutes for the first few hours of the night, then will give me maybe 1-2 hour stretches until 6:30 or 7. She was sleeping much better in bed with us, but now that's not working anymore. Then she was sleeping better in that magic sleep suit, but that stopped working, too.
During the day the only was she'll sleep is if she's nursing or laying in the nursing position. I've tried to lay her down and its immediate crying. I've kept it up for a few days, thinking that she'd be so tired from not napping that she's sleep at night. Nope. I tried letting her take a nice, long nap on me (almost 3 hours!) and maybe she needed more sleep to help her sleep. Yeah, no.
She's in the ergo a bunch because if I put her down and walk away to, you know, go to the bathroom, or eat, or clean something, she loses her mind. Hysterical crying, sobbing, can't catch her breath, big tears, all of it. When I finally pick her up she laughs. LAUGHS.
And she's so cute, and so sweet, and I know she just wants to be with me and I should appreciate this time while I have it or whatever but OMG. I need a fucking break. I need her to SLEEP. At night, during the day, just fucking sleep!'!! YOU NEED IT TO LIVE, kid!
And is it dumb to call my pediatrician with this? I truly don't know what to do next.
We bought a mattress for the pnp, we bought a new pnp (because who knows why), bought that sleep suit, tried letting her cry, tried a lovey, putting her on her stomach. Im all out of ideas, but I don't know what the pedi can tell me. She's not sick, she just hates me : (
Sounds like she is going thru a growth spurt. My kid never sleeps (even now and he is 6) when he has one. I just nursed on demand and tried my best to roll with it. ((Hugs))
Nope, I had her checked for that. All this started when she got sick and got her teeth, but instead of getting better when she got better its just been getting worse.
I never in a million years thought Ollie would be my good sleeper : /
ETA: I reread this and it sounded snappy, I'm sorry. I appreciate any and all advice. Even selling her with the house, which is looking like a real option right now. Lol.
Post by gustafngrete on Mar 27, 2015 21:34:47 GMT -5
How old? This sounds like DS1 for the first six months. The only time he was ever quiet was when he was either nursing or sleeping on my boob. It got better after he started solids.
Are you letting her cry at night? For how long? Does she have her own space? Have you tried white noise? Someone here recommended it to me. It was a blowdryer app on my phone and I would literally put it right next to him and he'd calm immediately. He now has a machine in his room and he sleeps like a champ when it's on.
Ack, so sorry, that sounds really, really rough. I know it's not for everyone, but have you tried CIO?
That's next I think. It's like I need the pediatrician to recommend it before I can go through with it. We've been letting her cry for a bit now (10-15 minutes, pick up, put down, 10-15 minutes, repeat) but she just cries herself awake. I have a heeling its going to be a long process.
Post by rightawaynow on Mar 27, 2015 21:41:03 GMT -5
Oh man, I could have written the same post the first few months of my sons life, I slept on the couch with him in my chest for several weeks, when ge slept at all. I thought I was going to die and was a total zombie. Each terrible phase eventually passed. Remember all those people that said let me know if I can help, call them and see if they can come over for two hours so you can nap. I also used lavender soap and lotion at night and that seemed to help.
E is five and still wakes in the middle if the night.
At two, J is finally a good sleeper.
I sympathize with you, really I do. If you haven't had a kid with sleep habits like this, you just have no clue how profoundly it can effect you. Omg, I thought I would lose my mind, when J at 14 months was still waking many, many times a night.
I would take her into the pedi just to rule out an ear infection. Have you tried Motrin or Tylenol? How old is she? My boys were the same months 5/6 until 10. Never napped more than 20 mins and up every 1.5 hours every night. I really thought I was going to either have a full on break down or run away and never come back. I completely feel your pain. I do know for my guys, sleep begets sleep, so I would make sure she naps any way she will- carrier, nursing, on you, whatever. Will she sleep in the swing? Swaddled? Does loud white noise help? I've also heard some people have success with a heating pad to warm up the area before you put baby down. The transfer from warm mom to cold crib startles them awake or something. I know it's infuriating when people offer suggestions and you have tried EVERYTHING, so I hope I'm not frustrating you. I'm just trying to remember what worked for us. I also used a ton of stuff from the troublesome tots website that seemed to help. I'm so sorry. I remember so many nights and days just sobbing because I was so tired. You have all my sympathy in the world.
eta- we eventually did CIO at about 10 months. I really didn't want to do it, but we were honestly at the end of our rope.
Ack, so sorry, that sounds really, really rough. I know it's not for everyone, but have you tried CIO?
That's next I think. It's like I need the pediatrician to recommend it before I can go through with it. We've been letting her cry for a bit now (10-15 minutes, pick up, put down, 10-15 minutes, repeat) but she just cries herself awake. I have a heeling its going to be a long process.
sorry, I know it sucks. We did it in varying degrees with each of our three boys, and it certainly wasn't fun. Maybe she's cutting more teeth? Hang in there!
Post by whitemerlot on Mar 27, 2015 21:57:04 GMT -5
Oh man! My sympathies. My kids have been awful sleepers too. It's exhausting. My dd is 3 years old now and is finally sleeping through the night a couple times a week. My older one had to be held constantly and slept with me until he was a year. I held him for every nap. He's a good sleeper now at 5.
Thank you guys, it feels good to know that I'm not alone. It's crazy because I just keep trying to find a reason for it, then getting anxiety because what if I'm missing something? What if she's allergic to something, or in pain or something- but then I pick her up and she's fine. Jerk. Adorable, sweet jerk.
Ack, so sorry, that sounds really, really rough. I know it's not for everyone, but have you tried CIO?
That's next I think. It's like I need the pediatrician to recommend it before I can go through with it. We've been letting her cry for a bit now (10-15 minutes, pick up, put down, 10-15 minutes, repeat) but she just cries herself awake. I have a heeling its going to be a long process.
I was on your shoes not that long ago and it is so so rough. We ended up doing CIO (after trying all the gadgets, gentle methods, hiring a sleep consultant and getting approval from 2 pedi's) and it helped a lot. It took almost a week and the first few nights took about an hour not it was worth it! He didn't become a good sleeper until I night weaned though. Luckily that only took a few nights of DH going in with water.
Post by lissaholly on Mar 27, 2015 22:11:21 GMT -5
We sleep trained at 8 months because my kid . Just. Stopped. Sleeping. CIO is tough, but some kids honestly need to learn how to fall asleep, and get themselves back to sleep. It seems mean and cruel but sometimes, they are just as fucking frustrated and crying because they need to god damn sleep.
My kid is now 6 and the worlds best sleeper. BEST. She asks babysitters to go to bed.
E is 6.5 months & he's not comfortable in the swing anymore, which is where he has slept (or next to me) all along. We let him CIO last night. I had to hear it from the pedi too. He was waking every 1.5-2 hours & I was at my wits end. He slept 9-1:30 then I nurses him & put him back in the crib & he went until 6:30. It's rough, believe me... But it's rougher to go on no sleep. I'm sorry you're having trouble.
This brings back so many bad feelings. I have PTSD after the first year of my dd's life. She too did NOT sleep. Ever. Unless upright and on my boob simultaneously. She had some wicked reflux, have you ruled that out? It can be silent. After reflux meds kicked in I ar least didn't want to kill myself, but was still miserable. She slept maybe 5-6 hours in every 24? In 30 minute increments. I was genuinely concerned for her growth and development. Other than the reflux meds, my pedi husband was worthless. Often there's no medical reason for shitty sleepers.
If it helps at all, my never slept/HORRIBLE overall baby daughter became and remained a dream after age 1. Her sister was an easy baby and has been super difficult ever since. Yours is getting her hard phase over early too
We did CIO with both my kids, and had to resort to extinction CIO (aka no checks) because us walking in there and trying to soothe them in any way shape or form just got them more riled up. It was tough, but honestly, worked so incredibly fast. DD only took one night. DS took three nights, but only the first night was bad, the 2nd and 3rd nights he only fussed for 5-10 min max.
I will admit that I was a total wuss with DD since she was my first and had to leave the house and left my husband to deal with it because I knew I would cave.
Have you read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child"? Reading that made it so much easier for me to feel okay about CIO.
Good luck, sleep problems are so so so tough to deal with.
Ack, so sorry, that sounds really, really rough. I know it's not for everyone, but have you tried CIO?
That's next I think. It's like I need the pediatrician to recommend it before I can go through with it. We've been letting her cry for a bit now (10-15 minutes, pick up, put down, 10-15 minutes, repeat) but she just cries herself awake. I have a heeling its going to be a long process.
I once did this for 3 hours (but actually shorter, I could only take the screaming for 5 minutes MAYBE)
The next night it was 30 minutes
The next night maybe 10
Then sleep. It was like she needed a reset?
Although every time we hit a growth spurt, more teeth or getting a cold we have another week of no sleep. But a few days in between seems to get me through.
Post by themysteriouswife on Mar 27, 2015 22:40:40 GMT -5
Have you left the house and let your H handle it? I know this worked for a friend of mine. It broke her heart to leave, but it worked. She would sit in the car and read or go walk around a store:.
Ack, so sorry, that sounds really, really rough. I know it's not for everyone, but have you tried CIO?
That's next I think. It's like I need the pediatrician to recommend it before I can go through with it. We've been letting her cry for a bit now (10-15 minutes, pick up, put down, 10-15 minutes, repeat) but she just cries herself awake. I have a heeling its going to be a long process.
Ugh, I am not looking forward to this again.
My only thoughts on the above are that it might be reinforcing the crying if she gets picked up eventually, rinse, repeat, etc.. Sometimes it makes the crying worse, longer, and stronger because kids will try (and cry!) harder because they've learned they'll eventually get picked up again and don't necessarily know it isn't their crying that's working so much as it is a time interval passing. It's so hard though. But if you're letting her CIO for 10-15 mins at a time already, it might just take 2 or 3 days of a little longer without picking her upagain because otherwise you're torturing yourself for those 10-15 mins for "nothing". Does that make sense without sounding too bossy?
I can't see how old she is though, so I get it if you're not ready for full CIO (I wasn't, and my work advice, like above, isn't so easy at home). GL either way.