I just wanted to say that even though you are frustrated, you still sound completely enamored with your tiny monster and it is so sweet. You will all sleep again, big hugs in the mean time
I'd say if she smiles at you every time you finally pick her up, then she has learned how to manipulate you (it's a good thing! She's smart) and that it's time to teach her to get herself to sleep.
We did CIO and after 2 nights we got 11 hours of continuous sleep. The first night he screamed for an hour straight and I just keep repeating to myself, "He is warm. He is dry. He is full. He is safe. And he can figure this out." because intellectually I knew all his needs were being met but emotionally it sucks heating your kid scream. I don't think you have anything to lose trying CIO. Godspeed.
My DS was like that, he was STTN, then EI and teeth happened and it was two months of hell.
I couldn't even bring him near his crib and he would cry. It took him hours to fall asleep in bed with me because he would just try to crawl.
The only thing that ended up working was CIO when he was 9 months. It was the best thing I ever did. The first two nights sucked (took over an hour each), but by the fifth night no more tears and went right to bed in his crib. It took another two months to sttn again (he would wake up once to nurse), but just going to sleep in his crib and not taking hours to fall asleep restored my sanity.
Did you say how old she is? My DS wouldn't sleep unless on me. He slept on my chest for 3 months. When I transferred him to the crib I rolled up a towel into a U shape and put it under the sheet so he would feel snuggled. We put down a heating pad for 15 minutes before laying him down. The first night he woke up often but after that he slept in his crib.
I'm so sorry ((hugs)) sleep deprivation is the worst
I'm so sorry. I have a shitty sleeper too and it's so very draining. Unless other people have been there too they just don't get how consuming it is. Are you nursing every time she wakes?
I'm getting lots of good ideas in here. I'm going to try the heating pad and something that smells like me tonight and see how that goes. I might get a crib, too. We already bought a more comfy mattress for the pnp, but its still not that great.
She must have known that I was near my breaking point though because last night she fell asleep in bed with me around 11 and then slept until 6. I nursed her and she's STILL SLEEPING! It's 9am! Wahoo! She definitely wants to move and roll now, so I think we have to give up the sleep suit, and it was like sleeping next to a helicopter, but I so don't care. It was awesome.
I'm sorry. Caleb was (and still is, at almost 3) like this. He's always been a very cuddly child and had to be completely passed out asleep for me to lay him in his crib. He slept through the night for 2 weeks when he was 4 months old. Even now, he'll fall asleep in his bed but ends up in our bed by midnight every night.
We tried limited CIO--no more than 15 minutes--and it was a disaster. Co-sleeping for now has worked for us. It's not perfect, but it's what he needs right now.
Did you say how old she is? My DS wouldn't sleep unless on me. He slept on my chest for 3 months. When I transferred him to the crib I rolled up a towel into a U shape and put it under the sheet so he would feel snuggled. We put down a heating pad for 15 minutes before laying him down. The first night he woke up often but after that he slept in his crib.
I'm so sorry ((hugs)) sleep deprivation is the worst
I'm glad you said this. My son is almost 3 weeks old and he will nap in his rock n play but will only sleep on me at night. I feel a mixture of guilt because he isn't on his back and just not giving a fuck because I'm so tired. I hope this doesn't last forever.
Maybe flameful but I lied to all the doctors. He would.not.sleep on his back in anything. He slept on my chest. At 3 months he weighed close to 20 lbs (big baby) and it was getting hard to breathe. There's no way I could have survived. I almost lost it in the hospital because they don't allow it, they kept bringing him back from the nursery because he wasn't sleeping. I tried to check out after 24 hours, I was so exhausted. I'm all about surviving early on ((Hugs)) so don't feel bad! If you're exhausted that's not good either.
Post by phdprocrastinator on Mar 28, 2015 8:57:38 GMT -5
I'm so, so sorry. Sleep issues are the worst. Not getting sleep turns me into an awful mother. I agree with everyone who had mentioned full extinction CIO. The "checks" only made dd more upset. The way I figured it, she was already crying for hours a night, so I wasn't adding to her total crying overall... If that make sense.
However, just in case you want to check one last thing: has your pediatrician ruled out reflux? Both my girls have had it and one symptom is crying when layed down/smiling when picked up. It's easy enough to treat (zantac or the like) although your pediatrician may also want you to try some elimination diet stuff (although I think you already said you're avoiding soy).
M did this at 7 months...got really sick and then never slept the same again.
After MONTHS of sleeping with her (thinking it was reflux), Dave finally talked me into CIO.
We were taking 4 hour shifts "sleeping" with her, but she was just pissed we were there, and pissed when we were gone. She was waking every 30 minutes...it was MISERABLE.
I finally gave in and let Dave do CIO. I wore ear plugs and cried myself to sleep. He would take the monitor out on the back porch and talk to his mom on the phone.
The first night it took an hour, but she slept all night.
The second night it took 30 minutes, and she slept all night.
The third night was 15 minutes...and on and on that baby magically cut it by half EVERY night until she just one night went to sleep.
It was BY FAR the hardest thing I've done...and I didn't even have to do it.
I feel you. If you decide to CIO, you've got us, (or ear plugs and a good cry nightly).
Post by Cricket0619 on Mar 28, 2015 9:45:47 GMT -5
How old is she? I finally let W CIO at 11 months. I was exhausted and just needed to do it. It took one night of letting him CIO and he has been STTN since. Sorry it sucks so bad. He also would only nap on me and after we let him cry that one night he started to eventually nap in his crib.
Uggh I feel your pain. I have one great sleeper and one HORRIBLE sleeper. As a newborn she wouldn't sleep unless she was on someone. Once she was older she would go down just fine but wake sometimes 12 times a night. Took her to the dr, who could find nothing wrong. As a mom of a 2yr old herself the dr recommended CIO and I tried it. She would go down ok, then wake up and start crying. She went for 2 hours in the middle of the night for multiple nights before I gave up(she was about 18mo at this point). I just could not take it and we co-slept from that point on. To say that I was almost psychotically sleep deprived is not exaggerating. Since then she has bounced between her bed and ours, I do what I need to get the best sleep. I do think that there are some kids that are just not good at sleeping and I don't think that there was much that I tried that had an effect on her sleep; it was her going through different stages that changed her sleep.
My ds on the other hand has slept great since coming home and responded to CIO very quickly when we needed to use it. I truly believe that some kids just suck at sleep and there isn't much that works. Not to be depressing just to say that sometimes I think it is out of our control. It was sooo hard to hear all the success stories, in my sleep deprived state I felt like such a failure! It would have helped me to hear that sometimes it isn't something you are or aren't doing. Good luck!!
M did this at 7 months...got really sick and then never slept the same again.
After MONTHS of sleeping with her (thinking it was reflux), Dave finally talked me into CIO.
We were taking 4 hour shifts "sleeping" with her, but she was just pissed we were there, and pissed when we were gone. She was waking every 30 minutes...it was MISERABLE.
I finally gave in and let Dave do CIO. I wore ear plugs and cried myself to sleep. He would take the monitor out on the back porch and talk to his mom on the phone.
The first night it took an hour, but she slept all night.
The second night it took 30 minutes, and she slept all night.
The third night was 15 minutes...and on and on that baby magically cut it by half EVERY night until she just one night went to sleep.
It was BY FAR the hardest thing I've done...and I didn't even have to do it.
I feel you. If you decide to CIO, you've got us, (or ear plugs and a good cry nightly).
She's 7 months! It's been almost 2 months of this, but its been worse recently. I'm hoping we have another night like last night!
I really don't mind cosleeping if I could get her to just sleep for a few hours on her own so I can have done alone time!
Post by morecowbell on Mar 28, 2015 12:32:18 GMT -5
We tried Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and when we implemented the 6:30 - 7:00 bedtime, our lives changed. Not sure when you are putting her down at night, but maybe an earlier bedtime would work?
I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope she straightens her sleep out soon *hugs*
Post by jeaniebueller on Mar 28, 2015 12:39:21 GMT -5
Huge hugs. It looks like you said you have only let her cry 10-15 minutes? Honestly, when we ferbered, it took more like an hour hysterically crying the first night. I almost gave up after 10 or 15 minutes, because it seems to get worse before it gets better. And trust me, I was getting up every hour around the time we decided we had to Ferber. It was pure torture, so I know where you're coming from. Personally, I would get her out of the Merlin sleep suit, and then give cry it out another try, but only if you will be able to let her cry until she goes to sleep. Sleep issues are the worst, man. Hugs to you.
When the twins refused to sleep, I put them in their swings. They used them as beds up till about a year. Naps and bedtime were spent in the swings. They seriously saved me.
Thank you guys, it feels good to know that I'm not alone. It's crazy because I just keep trying to find a reason for it, then getting anxiety because what if I'm missing something? What if she's allergic to something, or in pain or something- but then I pick her up and she's fine. Jerk. Adorable, sweet jerk.
I have had two rough sleepers, but one as a baby and one as a toddler. So, I will give it to you straight. I think you need to let her learn how to self soothe. If you know that is ok (not hurting, sick, etc), then you have to ignore the tears. Perhaps, have your H go in. I know this is ridiculously hard, but in the long run, this will be good.
I definitely a visit with the pedi to rule out anything health related.